Four years since "Because I love you."
- allegrita
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Four years since "Because I love you."
Four years ago tonight, on Friday, May 16th, 2008, Beth tried to send Mick away. She just couldn't take it anymore, living on the edge of his world. All the secrecy, the awkward silences, the harsh revelations of what "difficult, dangerous, and complicated" could mean, when vampires were involved. She'd tried, she really had, but it was just too hard when Mick wouldn't let her in.
She stood there in her apartment, her face stricken and her cheeks wet with tears. She told him she couldn't do it anymore, and he didn't have an answer for her. Because the only possible answer he could give her would open a door he could never close again. And there was so much danger on the other side of that door--danger Beth couldn't possibly understand. Mick couldn't bring himself to expose her to the full reality of vampire existence.
Sure, he'd hinted about it. He'd told her about the scrounging, the hiding, the violent tendencies... the things he'd had to give up. And over the months she'd seen some of the worst, he had to admit--and she hadn't let it stop her. But after the catastrophe that was his marriage to Coraline, he was afraid--yes, afraid--of making a commitment to another woman. Especially Beth. His Beth. Even after all he'd given up for her, all they'd been through together, he just couldn't say the words.
He turned and walked away from her, tried to walk out of her life. He told himself it was for her own good. But the rush of grief he felt stopped him in his tracks, and he turned toward the wall, fighting his urge to leave. Fighting his urge to stay.
I spent the past 55 years trying to close the door on forever. But I can’t anymore. I can’t close the door on Beth.
When Mick turned back toward Beth's apartment, time stopped for me. I didn't breathe, didn't blink, didn't move.
He knocked; no answer.
He knocked again. Eight times. Nothing, except maybe a whimper only a vampire could hear.
He opened that door, and then he opened his heart to her, as much as he could. He opened his long-locked heart and poured his feelings out, speaking to Beth's back. And she heard, between the words, what he couldn't yet say.
She asked him that silly question about the first time they met, and of course he knew the answer. Even about the shoes.
And then she asked him how he could know all that... and he finally said it. "Because I love you."
Finally, they kissed each other as lovers kiss. Messily, passionately, but both wanting it. Neither one shying away or resisting. And then Mick closed the door, leaving us on the outside.
And I cried buckets.
But you know what? Even though that was the very last we saw of them, I knew it was going to be all right. I knew Moonlight would live on in my heart, and the hearts of the other fans who loved it so dearly. I knew that somehow, Mick and Beth and all the other wonderful characters that brought Moonlight so vividly to life, would keep on living in Los Angeles. Josef would make a killing in the real estate bubble and get out just in time. Guillermo would start dating that flirtatious Cleaner. Steve would get a job at the Staples Center and start working Lakers and Clippers games. Beth would introduce Sam and Logan, and they'd become gaming buddies and collaborators on many a hacking adventure. Coraline would escape with Cynthia's assistance, and move to a hidden location, still searching for the Cure... and would undoubtedly return at some point, and try to entice Mick away again.
And that Facebook IPO that's coming up? Well, let's just say that Kostan Industries is probably intimately involved. And Josef's friends are about to get a lot richer.
She stood there in her apartment, her face stricken and her cheeks wet with tears. She told him she couldn't do it anymore, and he didn't have an answer for her. Because the only possible answer he could give her would open a door he could never close again. And there was so much danger on the other side of that door--danger Beth couldn't possibly understand. Mick couldn't bring himself to expose her to the full reality of vampire existence.
Sure, he'd hinted about it. He'd told her about the scrounging, the hiding, the violent tendencies... the things he'd had to give up. And over the months she'd seen some of the worst, he had to admit--and she hadn't let it stop her. But after the catastrophe that was his marriage to Coraline, he was afraid--yes, afraid--of making a commitment to another woman. Especially Beth. His Beth. Even after all he'd given up for her, all they'd been through together, he just couldn't say the words.
He turned and walked away from her, tried to walk out of her life. He told himself it was for her own good. But the rush of grief he felt stopped him in his tracks, and he turned toward the wall, fighting his urge to leave. Fighting his urge to stay.
I spent the past 55 years trying to close the door on forever. But I can’t anymore. I can’t close the door on Beth.
When Mick turned back toward Beth's apartment, time stopped for me. I didn't breathe, didn't blink, didn't move.
He knocked; no answer.
He knocked again. Eight times. Nothing, except maybe a whimper only a vampire could hear.
He opened that door, and then he opened his heart to her, as much as he could. He opened his long-locked heart and poured his feelings out, speaking to Beth's back. And she heard, between the words, what he couldn't yet say.
She asked him that silly question about the first time they met, and of course he knew the answer. Even about the shoes.
And then she asked him how he could know all that... and he finally said it. "Because I love you."
Finally, they kissed each other as lovers kiss. Messily, passionately, but both wanting it. Neither one shying away or resisting. And then Mick closed the door, leaving us on the outside.
And I cried buckets.
But you know what? Even though that was the very last we saw of them, I knew it was going to be all right. I knew Moonlight would live on in my heart, and the hearts of the other fans who loved it so dearly. I knew that somehow, Mick and Beth and all the other wonderful characters that brought Moonlight so vividly to life, would keep on living in Los Angeles. Josef would make a killing in the real estate bubble and get out just in time. Guillermo would start dating that flirtatious Cleaner. Steve would get a job at the Staples Center and start working Lakers and Clippers games. Beth would introduce Sam and Logan, and they'd become gaming buddies and collaborators on many a hacking adventure. Coraline would escape with Cynthia's assistance, and move to a hidden location, still searching for the Cure... and would undoubtedly return at some point, and try to entice Mick away again.
And that Facebook IPO that's coming up? Well, let's just say that Kostan Industries is probably intimately involved. And Josef's friends are about to get a lot richer.
- r1015bill
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
That was lovely.
Thanks so much for writing it, alle.
Thanks so much for writing it, alle.
- nutmegger911
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Oh, Alle...
NM911
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It ain't canon until they've shot it (and aired it) - I said that.
Trust the Muse. - Catmoon
The system isn't broken, it's fixed. - Billo
LIVE WIDE
It ain't canon until they've shot it (and aired it) - I said that.
Trust the Muse. - Catmoon
The system isn't broken, it's fixed. - Billo
- choccyterri
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Alle this is SO beautiful.... I think that we all held our breaths with you lovely, and the characters that were in our hearts are still there daily. Inspiring us to write, create art... it was and is a truly special show. Thank you for sharing this...
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”
― Marcus Aurelius.
- darkstarrising
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Alle, you put into words what so many of us felt that night and still feel
Four years later, I still don't understand why Moonlight affects me so....but it doesn't really matter. All I know is that Moonlight lives on in each of us.
Four years later, I still don't understand why Moonlight affects me so....but it doesn't really matter. All I know is that Moonlight lives on in each of us.
darkstarrising
Love – the universal language, the story of Moonlight
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Love – the universal language, the story of Moonlight
View My Fanfic Index
Thanks to the talented and generous Phoenix for my beautiful banner!
- Lilly
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Damn, woman! That was so unexpected -- and so very much needed right now.
Lilly
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Avatar from "Matasaburo of the Wind" © 2009 Alex Gross, used with the permission of the artist
- nutmegger911
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
It is amazing how that scene still gets me right here You captured that so well in your post. Hmmm, there's a challenge in there somewhere...
But anyway, thank you for taking all the time and effort to keep those moments alive.
^^and what Lilly said.
But anyway, thank you for taking all the time and effort to keep those moments alive.
^^and what Lilly said.
NM911
LIVE WIDE
It ain't canon until they've shot it (and aired it) - I said that.
Trust the Muse. - Catmoon
The system isn't broken, it's fixed. - Billo
LIVE WIDE
It ain't canon until they've shot it (and aired it) - I said that.
Trust the Muse. - Catmoon
The system isn't broken, it's fixed. - Billo
- librarian_7
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Beautifully put, my dear friend. And yes, as Lilly said, very much needed right now.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- PNWgal
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Usually I cram that pain way down deep inside, but reading this just makes me want to weep like it's 2008 again. I cried for days after Moonlight was cancelled. I was sure I'd never see that cute, newly-discovered Australian actor ever again, even though I knew he was destined for great things, and sure I lost the great community I'd stumbled into.
Well...that Australian actor didn't disappear and neither did the great community. It got smaller, sure...but it didn't disappear. Mick and Moonlight will always live on in my heart, even as I move on with the wonderful cast that gave us such a great show to love.
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
You just wrote the synopsis for season two. I will never stop loving Moonlight.
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Well, the world has turned since then..... but those of us who have been true-believers our ML world has spun on.
It was the show that changed lives..... cause I have seen it.....(YOU HAVE TOO....fellow ML fans)
May your doors always close with a kiss............
It was the show that changed lives..... cause I have seen it.....(YOU HAVE TOO....fellow ML fans)
May your doors always close with a kiss............
- Fleur de Lisa
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Alle--that was an absolutely beautiful recap. It brought tears to my eyes and took me back to that day. Oh, what a day. Watching that scene, rewinding it over and over, and praying that we could see more of this newly committed couple the next season. The sadness I felt when that didn't happen was mollified by what I kept and gained.....you and the wonderful people I still visit with here.
So, all in all......I'm way ahead.
Thanks Alle for the memories, old and new.
So, all in all......I'm way ahead.
Thanks Alle for the memories, old and new.
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Alle
That was stunningly lovely!
You captured the longing, need, romance and joy that was our Moonlight in those few, fabulous words.
It has been said that magic seems to be in short supply these days, and I have to agree--but four years ago, it was gloriously alive and well! We cherish the magic, and happily relive the joys and sorrows. We will forever see the promise that will never be brought to life onscreen, and marvel at the cancellation of such a promising series but the wonderful fanfiction that has been written fans the flames of our shared fascination over this wonderful, wonderful show.
Shows like Moonlight that touch on so many important points of life--striving to be more than you are, seeking redemption from a choice that you consider unrecoverable, romance and the marvelous snark and style mixed together to create something truly memorable. In my lifetime, I have seen a few shows that stand out from the others, but I can count them on one hand and have fingers left over. You can probably say the same.
Beautifully said, Alle. You have captured exactly what we all feel.
Thank you!
Jenna
That was stunningly lovely!
You captured the longing, need, romance and joy that was our Moonlight in those few, fabulous words.
It has been said that magic seems to be in short supply these days, and I have to agree--but four years ago, it was gloriously alive and well! We cherish the magic, and happily relive the joys and sorrows. We will forever see the promise that will never be brought to life onscreen, and marvel at the cancellation of such a promising series but the wonderful fanfiction that has been written fans the flames of our shared fascination over this wonderful, wonderful show.
Shows like Moonlight that touch on so many important points of life--striving to be more than you are, seeking redemption from a choice that you consider unrecoverable, romance and the marvelous snark and style mixed together to create something truly memorable. In my lifetime, I have seen a few shows that stand out from the others, but I can count them on one hand and have fingers left over. You can probably say the same.
Beautifully said, Alle. You have captured exactly what we all feel.
Thank you!
Jenna
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- MickLifeCrisis
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
MickLifeCrisis
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- allegrita
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Re: Four years since "Because I love you."
Thanks, everybody. I'm awfully glad we're all still here. What a nice bunch of people you are!