In My Reflection (In Between 14 and 15, PG13)

[Shadow]

Shadow

This is just exquisite.

Mick reacted as we all knew that Mick would react to the information that Beth had gone to Josef with the photographs Dean Foster took of Mick being hit by the car, but here he worked past the guilt and angst and found the truth beneath.

Mick and Beth are each other's guardian angels and he is able to accept it.

Totally fabulous, Shadow!

Thank you!

Jenna

Thank you, Jenna! When Beth was telling Josef in the show about how many times Mick had saved her, I immediately thought of the many times she'd saved him. She'd really returned the favor in advance, even aside from the Foster incident. It seemed about time that Mick actually acknowledged this. It was hard to imagine any other way he'd react to what Beth told him, but I thought it might be just the thing to eventually make him see the light . . .

[Shadow]

I didn't have a choice, Jen... I had somewhere I had to be all day.
But I'm back now!

And siiiiiiiiiiigh! How amazing.

From the Dean foster story to the Cora to the Logan and Elaine, and of course the slow but thankfully steady development of Mick and Beth's dating relationship... just amazing, intricate, perfectly paced storytelling. I care about all of these people so much. And the ones who existed on screen are so well represented, so well served, by the way you've fleshed them out in this series. Those who are your own creations are as dear to me as the screen characters. That is saying something in this fandom.

Honey, I am so GRATEFUL that your chapters are long. They are rich and beautiful, and for me to have the privilege to spend this much quality time with Mick and his peeps, well, it literally makes my day each time you post. This one just ties so many things together and begins really tying up loose ends. I am gratified, tho I do know this means we draw ever closer to the end.

But I'm gonna think about that tomorrow. Today, like Red, I'm gonna enjoy reading this one a couple more times.

Gosh, I'm glad you're back, Grace . . . what a comment . . .
And I sure am glad that you like the long chapters! I guess they were bound to get longer as the story progressed, but I'd kind of been hoping to stay within the file size limit this time . . . No hope there! And I expect the next one (or maybe the next two ) will be even longer. I'm glad that you're seeing loose ends getting tied up too. That's encouraging! Though there are still an awful lot more of them . . .

It's heavenly to know the story can make you care about the characters that much! And especially to know that the ones I added can mean that much too.

[Shadow]

I have no self-control where your stories are concerned, Shadow. I've just read the whole thing on my tiny phone screen, as hubby drove us home. It took nearly the whole hour and a half, too! I want to reread it a few times before I try to make a real comment, but I have to thank you for this amazing chapter. I love that you had Beth tell Mick about Foster. It really is the only logical way for it to have happened.

I'll be back, but I want you to know how very much I love your vision, and how grateful I am to you for giving us this wonderful gift.

Alle, it truly blows me away to think of anyone reading this on a phone . . . I can't even imagine it . . . and this is the second long chapter you've read that way! It's an awesome compliment. (Still, I do hope that when I post the next one you'll be at home in front of a nice big screen. )
And I'm especially grateful for your encouragement with this whole project. (It seemed so much simpler when I first had the idea . . . )

[Shadow]

Wow! So Mick picked up on Beth being troubled, but let it go for now. And I always wondered why he didn’t smell that there had been a murder just around the corner from the bistro. You really brought that to a close.
And you explain wonderfully why he didn’t go for Coraline, tried to rescue her or something. It’s out of character for him to just let her go, but your missing scenes are just the way to make it believable.
And the tattoo! It was a brand in the flashback and now it’s a tattoo, and you explained it! I think the writers or directors just messed up, but this makes sense! We should just make a directors cut with your missing scenes.
Josef is part of the bloodline? He doesn’t really know his sire? Could be!
And for the first time Mick wonders if he would survive fire, too. No need to test it, yeah, but it makes you wonder.
He’s thinking about all the times Beth was in danger, and it totally wraps up the whole Click episode. Wonderful!
I thought Mick would be nervous because he wanted to be with Beth, but it was hunger. Makes sense.
Beth is so accepting of Mick, much more than he is, and it’s so endearing and uplifting to see how he’s soaking in her acceptance.

So glad you liked this, francis! And that you were wondering about some of the same things I was . . . like why Mick wouldn't pick up on that nearby murder when he came out of the bistro. Glad you liked the explanation about the tattoo as well . . . I'm sure you're right, that it was just a mistake in the show, but I liked to think that maybe they were actually planning to do something with that. And since it was there, I wanted to try to explain it.
Mick being nervous . . . I'd say that was actually both hunger and being with Beth . . . especially at the same time, which is just not the best combination!
Beth does accept Mick so much better than he does himself . . . it was nice to give him a chance to experience some of that in this chapter.

Mick had a hard time getting over this. He must let her grow up in his mind, and it’s hard.
Elaine and Logan would make a great couple. I guess Logan hasn’t had an easy life and turning either. Is Mick jealous, or happy for them? Guess he’s looking out for Elaine and needs to make sure what Logan’s intentions are.
Such a great twist that what Elaine had done and what he would do for Elaine, makes him understand what Beth did.
He has hurt Beth so much with his reaction, I’m not sure I would be so forgiving. It will take time until she trusts him again.
And the story he tells her about vampires holding him down in NY – wasn’t that Thomas and Asha? I really need to read your story from the start again.
I love that Josef has grown to respect Beth.
Poor Mick wants a family. Some things just can never be. And this is the perfect way to guide into What’s Left Behind.

Very interested in your comment about Logan and Elaine! I'm hoping to get in a little of Logan's background, if I can fit it in anywhere. It's really intriguing what you wrote about that. Mick's definitely looking out for Elaine here.
Beth can be harsh, but she also seems to have a huge capacity for forgiveness. I think she could cope with this sort of thing far, far better than Mick could if it had happened the other way.
In the NY story that was indeed Thomas and Asha . . . and Marguerite as well.
Thanks so much for such a detailed comment! It was wonderful to get this.

[Shadow]

It's been three years since we lost these wonderful characters but, you pick up a pen (keyboard) and it is as if they never left. How wonderful it is to see and hear them again because of your talent. Even if you run out of episodes, don't stop. Thank you.

What a beautiful comment, seamus. (And believe it or not I do always pick up a pen first [or a pencil . . . I have some quite lucky pencils now ] to write these.) I'm so glad to know that the characters feel so real to you. Thank you so much!

[maggatha3]

''Please, don't look at me''..This line has been in my mind ever since I read this In Between for the first time..I had been amazed - just as much as Mick ,I think- at the way Beth was actually looking at Mick seeing him as a vampire for the first time. More with concern than with shock, the look in her eyes that said that the man who had previously saved her was in deep danger.

You know how much I love Mick, Shadow, but in this chapter he was much of a disappointment to me. I 'd rather have him yell at her or whatever, than abandonning her in her turmoil and looking at her like she was broken after he had found out about Foster. Beth's deepest fears became reality..because of this reaction. And there, you had me thinking in the beginning of the chapter that he might be thinking of turning her to keep her safe with him when he was wondering if you could turn somebody without letting loose of rage , fear and blood. For God's sake, he had even saved her hair from his jacket all those years, he had watched her grow to a complete woman, did he still see her as an innocent little girl, a saint? He loved her and would do absolutely anything for her, especially to keep her safe, how could he not tell that she loved him as much and she would do as much to keep him safe? Did he really have to use Elaine as a prism to look at Beth and understand? Did he have to see the relief and happiness in Elaine's eyes about Asha's death to be able to tell? You put it so perfectly ''that is the way it is when you care for someone even more than you do for yourself''. Absolutely the love of Mick and Beth, yet he failed her here..She had always looked at him with nothing but understanding , love and care...and he hadn't done as much.

Two things I liked about him though, here. He went straight to her when he found out about her visit to Foster's house and when he realised he had made a mistake of treating her like that in her appartment. He seems to put no space between the two of them anymore and tries to clear things between them as soon as possible. And he spent the night holding her to sleep, so that is three things already..And he told her about New York and how she was in his heart to hold on and helped him stay alive...if I keep looking, I will find more..

Beth, that woman stands her ground so perfectly. She is in such a pain, Mick can tell even in Arbor Bistrot, both from the need of her action and from fearing Mick's reaction, but she handles herself perfectly. It was her choise and not his fault and he shouldn't blame himself, this girl knows her man so well and also has a way with words!! I even liked the fact that she left him alone in her livingroom and told him to leave. for this is My Beth.

I loved the flashback to the night Beth stayed over at Mick's , such a lovely awkward moment by the staircase and I love awkward.. The talk between them was so perfect, just perfect, it would so fit into the episode!! I loved their dialogue with hints of humour ( Dashboard Confessional.. and the thought of Josef chapperoning them when making love, what a hilarious thought!) and truthfulness...She knows he has kept the shirt, he is shamefull of drinking blood in front of her and accepts it is a hard habit to break after hiding for a lifetime. And he is thinking of playing his guitar for her...if only she had given him a moment or two , maybe we would have seen it happening. I loved how Beth's definition of sex ''letting down your barriers and letting someone else in'' and Tierney's definition of love ''truly be yourself with someone'' are so similar..

Could the last one apply elsewhere too? I mean...Elaine? Could she possibly truly be herself with Logan? Is it the beginning of a romance here? Oh, Mick is such a daddy, when it comes to Elaine!!

I am so happy..to have met you and your lucky pencils!! Keep them busy for us , will you?
I loved it, one day the In Betweens will be over as Moonlight was and then what will I have to be looking forward too?

My Sire

[Shadow]

Ohh, interesting comment, Maggatha! I think Mick feels just as you do, very disappointed in himself that he let Beth down in such a way. I love how you mentioned that first moment when Beth saw Mick as a vampire, how easily she was able to accept it . . . and how that contrasts with Mick's behavior here. But then Mick, in spite of his life experience, is simply not so good at accepting things as Beth is . . . and the situation with Dean Foster was so extremely ambiguous. As was evident with Lee Jay Spaulding, Mick had no problem with Beth killing someone in order to save him. But the thing with Dean was different, not so clear cut, and it really threw him. It kind of reflects the way Beth thought (or will think, in this timeline) of the Monaghans in Sonata, and the way she couldn't accept what happened to them.


Everything is so new for Mick and Beth's relationship, I think they are bound to still stumble over the barriers between their worlds from time to time . . . . and disappoint deeply . . . so it is great that you could still find some things to like about Mick here. And I’m sooo pleased that you liked the “Dashboard Confessional” flashback. That scene always felt way, way too short to me, and there was no way to resist adding to it. Awkward can indeed be such a delight, as you and Josef both have mentioned! That was the most fun part to write, especially the bit about Josef . . . And I hadn't even noticed before how similar Beth's and Tierney's definitions were. How interesting.


Elaine and Logan, hmm. You know, I think Elaine really can be herself with Logan. She has such a mind of her own, though, I won't presume to guess what may happen next for her . . . .


Many thanks again, little fledgling, for the lucky pencils and for your intervention with the muses . . . . and for this great comment . . . for they all seem to be helping me quite a bit with the next chapter!


.

[Shadow]

Your best offering to date Shadow. I was honestly touched by every sentence...every paragraph. It was beautiful. Thank you.

I can't believe I missed answering this comment earlier . . . I guess I did so in my imagination, since I thought I had . . (Maybe my computer ate it?)



So, this is a very belated thank you for your comment, aolver; and it's such a wonderful one too. It's so very encouraging to think that the stories might be getting better as they go along! It really helps to keep me going and I appreciate your words so much.

[redwinter101]

I wanted to mention how perfect your chapter titles are - I've always thought so, but never said - and it particularly struck me with this chapter. Mick is so reflective here, even more than usual because so much around him is changing, challenging, opening possibilities and bringing new fears and hopes and dreams.

But he also sees his actions and fears reflected in Beth. Now she's the one who has protected him, killed for him, changed her life for him - and looked to him for acceptance of what she's done. Each with their own guardian angel - after so much darkness it's a wonderfully hopeful note to finish on. With Logan and Elaine also finding a possible future there is a new world opening up for all of them and with change comes so much uncertainty. The glimpse you give us into Mick's internal monologue as he ponders his future with Beth is so wonderful I could hear the words.

One final thing, out of all the beautiful words here, this really struck me:

Mick could almost still feel her kisses, like gentle sparks against his skin

Just lovely.

[Shadow]

I wanted to mention how perfect your chapter titles are - I've always thought so, but never said - and it particularly struck me with this chapter.

That's especially great to hear since I have always had such trouble coming up with titles! Can't really take any credit for these though, as the titles for this series all come from lyrics from "My Vampire Heart" by Tom McRae . . . . though not always quite the way they're meant in the song . . . .

Loved that you mentioned the double meaning in this one.

Thanks so much!

[Marigold]

Shadow - This chapter is fantastic!

Mick smiled at that. Still . . . Coraline had apparently done something similar. One night, after a great many drinks, she’d told him that she’d gotten the tattoo on her shoulder after she’d been turned. I was branded with that mark, as a human, she’d said darkly, staring into her glass. It was done to shame me. But I defied them, and took pride in it. When I was turned, and the brand disappeared, I had the fleur de lis put back on my shoulder, in ink.

It always bothered me that Coraline's brand was referred to as a tattoo. Thanks to you, I now have a valid explanation as to why they did that.

He’d never washed it, either, after that night. But he wasn’t going to tell her that he sometimes pulled it out just to smell it, to drink in the scent of her that clung to the cloth.

Awww! Little does Mick know that Beth did the same thing with his sweater.

I love how you included missing scenes from the episode in your story. It was great to read about Beth's sleepover, and about the talk she and Mick had on the street.

I also really like how you had Mick find out about Dean Foster. As we saw at the beginning of the chapter, Mick is very perceptive. It's great that Beth doesn't have to keep a secret from him now.

“Do you still see me as a child? As an innocent? I’m not a saint, Mick. I’m not perfect. I never have been. I’m willing to do terrible things if I have to. I’ve killed two men, and I don’t care; I would do anything, anything, to protect you. What I did was my choice, and it was not your fault, so will you for God’s sake stop blaming yourself?” Beth was in tears now, but she rubbed fiercely at her eyes and got to her feet. “Look, now you know everything that happened. There isn’t any more to tell. You should go now. I can’t – I can’t bear the way you’re looking at me. Just go. Please.”

I thought it was really interesting that Mick looked at Beth in this chapter similarly to how she looked at him in Out of the Past. Mick tends to put Beth on a pedestal. Not only is this unrealistic, but it is unfair to her. Luckily, Mick realizes why Beth did what she did (thanks to Logan's wisdom):

“I mean, that’s the way it is when you care for someone else more than you do for yourself, right?”

I really hope things work between Elaine and Logan. They both could use a friend, if nothing else.

This chapter leads perfectly into What's Left Behind. Josef and Mick are going out on the town , and Mick is thinking about his lack of family. Shadow, you connect your chapters to the episodes seamlessly.

Thank you!

[Shadow]

So glad you liked this one, Marigold!

It always bothered me that Coraline's brand was referred to as a tattoo.

You can probably see that this really bothered me also! . . . I expect it was just an error, but had to wonder if there could actually be a reason for it. it's great that you liked this explanation for it.

I love how you included missing scenes from the episode in your story. It was great to read about Beth's sleepover, and about the talk she and Mick had on the street.

Any scene in the show that ended while Mick and Beth were still together just simply needed to be longer....

I also really like how you had Mick find out about Dean Foster. As we saw at the beginning of the chapter, Mick is very perceptive. It's great that Beth doesn't have to keep a secret from him now.

I don't suppose the writers actually meant the secret to come out so soon, but I had trouble imagining how Beth was really going to keep such a secret from a vampire P.I. who knew her so very well. And Beth seemed so untroubled by it in the next episode, it almost seemed as if things had been cleared up between them by then.

It's so wonderful you are finding these to fit seamlessly between the episodes! Thanks so very much!