Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13
Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 6:21 am
Okay, this is WAY past the deadline, but here's my contribution to the "Cold" wave.
Many thanks to Allegrita, for her lovely job of beta'ing this!
Disclaimer: Yeah, still don't own Moonlight, or any of its fabulous characters.
Cold
“See you next Thursday?” Diana walked Josef to her door, nestling her head against his shoulder. Josef glanced down at her, listening to the steady throb of her heart. She seemed pleasantly drowsy, but nowhere near incapacitated. Of course—they were both far too experienced for that. The afterglow of his feeding covered her like a blanket, and she shivered a little, perhaps in memory of the pleasure of it, as she turned to offer him a goodnight kiss.
Josef stepped back and took both of her hands in his. He was going to miss this one, but—it was past time. Surely, she’d noticed by now that his calls were getting fewer, invitations to parties less and less frequent. They’d celebrated her thirtieth birthday months back. Of course, thirty now wasn’t what it had once been. A human who took care of herself, or himself, could stave off the subtle advances of age almost indefinitely.
Almost.
Despite her best efforts, there were fine lines at the corners of her eyes, her mouth. Possibly fine enough to be visible only to the sharp eyes of a vampire, but there, nonetheless.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart,” he answered, dropping her hands.
Diana’s face fell as his words hit home, and Josef braced himself. This was never easy, even with the ones who would miss his bank account far more than they missed him. Diana had never been that sort, although her tastefully decorated apartment was filled with fine art and luxury, all largesse from him. Others would have been making plans for the future, setting themselves up for post-vampire careers, but not Diana. She’d always lived as if she expected the ride to go on forever. He supposed he could have been less subtle about things, but he had assumed a woman of her intelligence would read the writing on the freshly re-papered wall. Not that he grudged her a bit of it. Not at all. She’d been giving him willing blood, after all, and anything she’d spent was small return for that.
He didn’t think she’d indulge in histrionics, or hysterics. Few of his girls did; he generally avoided the noisy type. And he wasn’t disappointed.
She looked down, bit her lip, thinking. “This is so sudden,” she said at last. Her eyes had gone smoky with desire, as though she could ensnare him again with just a gaze.
“But hardly unexpected, I think.” He lifted her chin with one finger, and then, looking into her face, traced the lines at the corners of her eyes, his movements deliberate and gentle. “People start to notice when I—date—older women, Diana.”
“It’s not fair,” she returned, some heat creeping into her tone. “Look at you. Immortal. I’ve half killed myself, trying to stay young for you. And now you just walk away.”
“You knew it had to be this way.”
She turned away from him, then, shoulders slumped. “Oh, Josef,” she said, a world of bitterness in her tone. “You don’t understand at all, do you?”
Josef considered for a moment. He’d played this scene countless times, and it had gotten, like himself, very old. “Maybe not,” he replied. “Probably neither of us can.”
Diana snorted softly. “Trust you to have a double-edged response.”
He raised an eyebrow, saying nothing, and her mouth twisted. “What,” she asked, “am I going to do?”
He shrugged. “You own this apartment, you have a very healthy bank account. And your portfolio is good. I’d think you’d be very comfortable. Or you could look for another vampire.”
“Please, please don’t tell me you’d recommend me to a friend,” she said with a brittle laugh. “I don’t think I could stand that.”
He shrugged again. “As you wish.” He could see the wheels turning, though. And it was true. With her blood type, she could find a vampire who at least looked older than he did, one who might be glad of the chance at her. Maybe not as rich, but— he could smell it when she rejected the idea. Her face suffused with a warm rush of blood. Anger at herself for considering the possibility, perhaps.
Diana faced him once more, studying his features. He was unsurprised when she threw her arms around him, pressing against him in pretended desperation. He’d seen that before, too. It was nicely done, though, he thought…but not well enough to get marks for sincerity.
“Can you leave me?” she cried, the damp heat of her breath seeping through his shirt, her voice muffled against his chest. “Can you really just walk away?”
Cue the silent sobbing, he thought, and sure enough her shoulders began to shake. This was what he really hated. He disentangled himself gently. “I’m sorry, Dian, but yes.” Unconsciously mirroring her, he bit his lip, shaking his head a little, trying to inject some honest concern into his brown eyes.
She released him, covering her face with her hands, still sobbing—but he could feel a blast of anger pouring off her like a heat wave. Ah, an honest response at last.
Most of the time, he was drawn to the mortal flame, fascinated by the constant burning that powered the engine of humanity. He hovered around it, never part of it, but never far away. To the vampire community, he might pretend a grand disinterest in things mortal, but after four centuries, he knew better than to lie to himself. But now, as the torrent of her words flowed over him, Josef thought suddenly of his freezer. This warmth of emotions, of mortal life, was weighing on him, tiresome in all its noise and movement. Ah, to be cold, he thought. Cold was pure and quiet. Cold was a haven of peace.
In his younger days, he’d feared the oblivion that passed for vampire sleep. For a long time he hadn’t been fully convinced, each time he went down into the blackness, that he’d return with the setting of the sun. Now, though, he often welcomed the cessation of thought, desire, and thirst. The moments when he settled himself naked on the hard, frozen surface and pulled the lid closed, shutting out the world, were precious and sweet to him now.
In the end, the scene played out as such things always did, and by the time he let himself out Diana’s front door, he’d put her almost entirely out of his mind; but her final, despairing cry brought an ironic smile to his lips.
“Josef,” she asked, “how can you be so cold?”
Many thanks to Allegrita, for her lovely job of beta'ing this!
Disclaimer: Yeah, still don't own Moonlight, or any of its fabulous characters.
Cold
“See you next Thursday?” Diana walked Josef to her door, nestling her head against his shoulder. Josef glanced down at her, listening to the steady throb of her heart. She seemed pleasantly drowsy, but nowhere near incapacitated. Of course—they were both far too experienced for that. The afterglow of his feeding covered her like a blanket, and she shivered a little, perhaps in memory of the pleasure of it, as she turned to offer him a goodnight kiss.
Josef stepped back and took both of her hands in his. He was going to miss this one, but—it was past time. Surely, she’d noticed by now that his calls were getting fewer, invitations to parties less and less frequent. They’d celebrated her thirtieth birthday months back. Of course, thirty now wasn’t what it had once been. A human who took care of herself, or himself, could stave off the subtle advances of age almost indefinitely.
Almost.
Despite her best efforts, there were fine lines at the corners of her eyes, her mouth. Possibly fine enough to be visible only to the sharp eyes of a vampire, but there, nonetheless.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart,” he answered, dropping her hands.
Diana’s face fell as his words hit home, and Josef braced himself. This was never easy, even with the ones who would miss his bank account far more than they missed him. Diana had never been that sort, although her tastefully decorated apartment was filled with fine art and luxury, all largesse from him. Others would have been making plans for the future, setting themselves up for post-vampire careers, but not Diana. She’d always lived as if she expected the ride to go on forever. He supposed he could have been less subtle about things, but he had assumed a woman of her intelligence would read the writing on the freshly re-papered wall. Not that he grudged her a bit of it. Not at all. She’d been giving him willing blood, after all, and anything she’d spent was small return for that.
He didn’t think she’d indulge in histrionics, or hysterics. Few of his girls did; he generally avoided the noisy type. And he wasn’t disappointed.
She looked down, bit her lip, thinking. “This is so sudden,” she said at last. Her eyes had gone smoky with desire, as though she could ensnare him again with just a gaze.
“But hardly unexpected, I think.” He lifted her chin with one finger, and then, looking into her face, traced the lines at the corners of her eyes, his movements deliberate and gentle. “People start to notice when I—date—older women, Diana.”
“It’s not fair,” she returned, some heat creeping into her tone. “Look at you. Immortal. I’ve half killed myself, trying to stay young for you. And now you just walk away.”
“You knew it had to be this way.”
She turned away from him, then, shoulders slumped. “Oh, Josef,” she said, a world of bitterness in her tone. “You don’t understand at all, do you?”
Josef considered for a moment. He’d played this scene countless times, and it had gotten, like himself, very old. “Maybe not,” he replied. “Probably neither of us can.”
Diana snorted softly. “Trust you to have a double-edged response.”
He raised an eyebrow, saying nothing, and her mouth twisted. “What,” she asked, “am I going to do?”
He shrugged. “You own this apartment, you have a very healthy bank account. And your portfolio is good. I’d think you’d be very comfortable. Or you could look for another vampire.”
“Please, please don’t tell me you’d recommend me to a friend,” she said with a brittle laugh. “I don’t think I could stand that.”
He shrugged again. “As you wish.” He could see the wheels turning, though. And it was true. With her blood type, she could find a vampire who at least looked older than he did, one who might be glad of the chance at her. Maybe not as rich, but— he could smell it when she rejected the idea. Her face suffused with a warm rush of blood. Anger at herself for considering the possibility, perhaps.
Diana faced him once more, studying his features. He was unsurprised when she threw her arms around him, pressing against him in pretended desperation. He’d seen that before, too. It was nicely done, though, he thought…but not well enough to get marks for sincerity.
“Can you leave me?” she cried, the damp heat of her breath seeping through his shirt, her voice muffled against his chest. “Can you really just walk away?”
Cue the silent sobbing, he thought, and sure enough her shoulders began to shake. This was what he really hated. He disentangled himself gently. “I’m sorry, Dian, but yes.” Unconsciously mirroring her, he bit his lip, shaking his head a little, trying to inject some honest concern into his brown eyes.
She released him, covering her face with her hands, still sobbing—but he could feel a blast of anger pouring off her like a heat wave. Ah, an honest response at last.
Most of the time, he was drawn to the mortal flame, fascinated by the constant burning that powered the engine of humanity. He hovered around it, never part of it, but never far away. To the vampire community, he might pretend a grand disinterest in things mortal, but after four centuries, he knew better than to lie to himself. But now, as the torrent of her words flowed over him, Josef thought suddenly of his freezer. This warmth of emotions, of mortal life, was weighing on him, tiresome in all its noise and movement. Ah, to be cold, he thought. Cold was pure and quiet. Cold was a haven of peace.
In his younger days, he’d feared the oblivion that passed for vampire sleep. For a long time he hadn’t been fully convinced, each time he went down into the blackness, that he’d return with the setting of the sun. Now, though, he often welcomed the cessation of thought, desire, and thirst. The moments when he settled himself naked on the hard, frozen surface and pulled the lid closed, shutting out the world, were precious and sweet to him now.
In the end, the scene played out as such things always did, and by the time he let himself out Diana’s front door, he’d put her almost entirely out of his mind; but her final, despairing cry brought an ironic smile to his lips.
“Josef,” she asked, “how can you be so cold?”