Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

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Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by librarian_7 »

Okay, this is WAY past the deadline, but here's my contribution to the "Cold" wave.

Many thanks to Allegrita, for her lovely job of beta'ing this!

Disclaimer: Yeah, still don't own Moonlight, or any of its fabulous characters.


Cold

“See you next Thursday?” Diana walked Josef to her door, nestling her head against his shoulder. Josef glanced down at her, listening to the steady throb of her heart. She seemed pleasantly drowsy, but nowhere near incapacitated. Of course—they were both far too experienced for that. The afterglow of his feeding covered her like a blanket, and she shivered a little, perhaps in memory of the pleasure of it, as she turned to offer him a goodnight kiss.

Josef stepped back and took both of her hands in his. He was going to miss this one, but—it was past time. Surely, she’d noticed by now that his calls were getting fewer, invitations to parties less and less frequent. They’d celebrated her thirtieth birthday months back. Of course, thirty now wasn’t what it had once been. A human who took care of herself, or himself, could stave off the subtle advances of age almost indefinitely.

Almost.

Despite her best efforts, there were fine lines at the corners of her eyes, her mouth. Possibly fine enough to be visible only to the sharp eyes of a vampire, but there, nonetheless.

“I don’t think so, sweetheart,” he answered, dropping her hands.

Diana’s face fell as his words hit home, and Josef braced himself. This was never easy, even with the ones who would miss his bank account far more than they missed him. Diana had never been that sort, although her tastefully decorated apartment was filled with fine art and luxury, all largesse from him. Others would have been making plans for the future, setting themselves up for post-vampire careers, but not Diana. She’d always lived as if she expected the ride to go on forever. He supposed he could have been less subtle about things, but he had assumed a woman of her intelligence would read the writing on the freshly re-papered wall. Not that he grudged her a bit of it. Not at all. She’d been giving him willing blood, after all, and anything she’d spent was small return for that.

He didn’t think she’d indulge in histrionics, or hysterics. Few of his girls did; he generally avoided the noisy type. And he wasn’t disappointed.

She looked down, bit her lip, thinking. “This is so sudden,” she said at last. Her eyes had gone smoky with desire, as though she could ensnare him again with just a gaze.

“But hardly unexpected, I think.” He lifted her chin with one finger, and then, looking into her face, traced the lines at the corners of her eyes, his movements deliberate and gentle. “People start to notice when I—date—older women, Diana.”

“It’s not fair,” she returned, some heat creeping into her tone. “Look at you. Immortal. I’ve half killed myself, trying to stay young for you. And now you just walk away.”

“You knew it had to be this way.”

She turned away from him, then, shoulders slumped. “Oh, Josef,” she said, a world of bitterness in her tone. “You don’t understand at all, do you?”

Josef considered for a moment. He’d played this scene countless times, and it had gotten, like himself, very old. “Maybe not,” he replied. “Probably neither of us can.”

Diana snorted softly. “Trust you to have a double-edged response.”

He raised an eyebrow, saying nothing, and her mouth twisted. “What,” she asked, “am I going to do?”

He shrugged. “You own this apartment, you have a very healthy bank account. And your portfolio is good. I’d think you’d be very comfortable. Or you could look for another vampire.”

“Please, please don’t tell me you’d recommend me to a friend,” she said with a brittle laugh. “I don’t think I could stand that.”

He shrugged again. “As you wish.” He could see the wheels turning, though. And it was true. With her blood type, she could find a vampire who at least looked older than he did, one who might be glad of the chance at her. Maybe not as rich, but— he could smell it when she rejected the idea. Her face suffused with a warm rush of blood. Anger at herself for considering the possibility, perhaps.

Diana faced him once more, studying his features. He was unsurprised when she threw her arms around him, pressing against him in pretended desperation. He’d seen that before, too. It was nicely done, though, he thought…but not well enough to get marks for sincerity.

“Can you leave me?” she cried, the damp heat of her breath seeping through his shirt, her voice muffled against his chest. “Can you really just walk away?”

Cue the silent sobbing, he thought, and sure enough her shoulders began to shake. This was what he really hated. He disentangled himself gently. “I’m sorry, Dian, but yes.” Unconsciously mirroring her, he bit his lip, shaking his head a little, trying to inject some honest concern into his brown eyes.

She released him, covering her face with her hands, still sobbing—but he could feel a blast of anger pouring off her like a heat wave. Ah, an honest response at last.

Most of the time, he was drawn to the mortal flame, fascinated by the constant burning that powered the engine of humanity. He hovered around it, never part of it, but never far away. To the vampire community, he might pretend a grand disinterest in things mortal, but after four centuries, he knew better than to lie to himself. But now, as the torrent of her words flowed over him, Josef thought suddenly of his freezer. This warmth of emotions, of mortal life, was weighing on him, tiresome in all its noise and movement. Ah, to be cold, he thought. Cold was pure and quiet. Cold was a haven of peace.

In his younger days, he’d feared the oblivion that passed for vampire sleep. For a long time he hadn’t been fully convinced, each time he went down into the blackness, that he’d return with the setting of the sun. Now, though, he often welcomed the cessation of thought, desire, and thirst. The moments when he settled himself naked on the hard, frozen surface and pulled the lid closed, shutting out the world, were precious and sweet to him now.

In the end, the scene played out as such things always did, and by the time he let himself out Diana’s front door, he’d put her almost entirely out of his mind; but her final, despairing cry brought an ironic smile to his lips.

“Josef,” she asked, “how can you be so cold?”
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by allegrita »

Ah, Diana... how can he be anything else?! I definitely understand why Josef thinks longingly of his freezer in situations like this. This story says so much about the differences between vamps and freshies. And also it says a lot about the artificial faces we all wear in order to get through the world without too much damage. Humans and vamps alike play roles. We all pretend to be someone, something.

Diana may have practiced her art so long that the role has become bigger than the person... but underneath, she's a spurned lover, crying out that it's just so damned unfair--even though she knew the rules all along. And Josef? Well, he's got the near-impenetrable mask down to a science, doesn't he?
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by francis »

Actually this fits two challenges at once, so you're not really late.

Great story, the emotions of both, the layers of truth and what they pretend to feel, that's so well done. It seems to me that Diane is much colder than Josef, she's in this cold anger that doesn't burn.
Wonderfully done! :clapping:
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by cassysj »

Josef has to harden himself to these situations or he wouldn't have survived four centuries. It makes me wonder if that's one of the reasons Mick turned off "fresh blood" When he "reformed" after rescuing Beth maybe he didn't even want to emotionally hurt humans anymore even if it was at his own detriment.

I feel for Diana because it's always hard when someone doesn't see it coming even if they should.

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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by Lucy »

francis wrote:Actually this fits two challenges at once, so you're not really late.

Great story, the emotions of both, the layers of truth and what they pretend to feel, that's so well done. It seems to me that Diane is much colder than Josef, she's in this cold anger that doesn't burn.
Wonderfully done! :clapping:

ahhhh, yes. I concur with francis. And she indeed was the queen of wishful thinking......nothing like a Freshie past her expiration date - just would NOT do for Josef. :clapping:
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by NightAir »

For Josef, the necessity of repeating this scene over and over through the years must force a certain detachment. The sheer weight of human emotions has him longing for the cold oblivion of his sleep.
Yet, I can't help but contrast his emotional withdrawal from Diana, a mere source of nourishment, with the emotional pull Lucky is for him.

As always, your insight into Josef's heart and mind brings him to life! (Or maybe that's unlife?) :hearts:
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by jen »

Lucky

This is superb.

The exceedingly long lifespan of vampies (if they're careful and lucky) is truly a double edged sword. He has seen the reactions before, played out the scene numerous times, and the emotions of the freshie became preditable, simply because he as seen them so many tims. From predictable, it is a short journey to unimportant. The faces change, but the dance remains the same.

Tragic for both.

Diana will move on--on way or another. Josef is caught in the repeating cycle and he is aware from the first taste of a new exclusive that the moment you describe is coming. No wonder his mind goes to the solice of subzero oblivion.

Wonderfully thouhtful piece. While we tend to see that it is Diana who is in the less enviable position, I'm not entirely sure. Diana is really less trapped by the dance than Josef.

Thank you!

Jenna

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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by MoonShadow »

"This warmth of emotions, of mortal life, was weighing on him, tiresome in all its noise and movement. Ah, to be cold, he thought. Cold was pure and quiet. Cold was a haven of peace."

Wow.
What powerful words. The depth of layers within layers. The retreat of heart.
Lucky as always you've written a wonderful portrait of Josef and of a freshie.
So often we hear of vampires being refered to as, "the cold ones" it's interesting to think about this side of it.
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by librarian_7 »

Thank you for the kind comments. I'm a bit sentimental where our Josef is concerned, and I do see his outer insouciance (as Jason once so aptly described it) as very much a mask over any number of inner emotions. Concern for the vampire nation, business acumen, and the care of a heart that has been wounded, perhaps past repair, for a start.

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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by Moonlighter »

librarian_7 wrote:“Josef,” she asked, “how can you be so cold?”
Great last line, Lucky. However, this:
librarian_7 wrote:“But hardly unexpected, I think.” He lifted her chin with one finger, and then, looking into her face, traced the lines at the corners of her eyes, his movements deliberate and gentle. “People start to notice when I—date—older women, Diana.”

makes me sad as it seems that even in the vampire world, women who age are once again deemed to be past their prime and usefulness, which couldn't be further from the truth!
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by tucutecats »

most excellent story, Joseph at the age of 400 plus must distance himself from human emotion, or it would weigh him down,life for the undead must also go on
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by librarian_7 »

I've always thought that Josef's comment to Mick that Mick is worried he's the one who'd get hurt, if he pursued a relationship with Beth, is probably an observation made from long and bitter experience. Josef knows--too well--what it is to go on when a mortal lover does not join him in vampirism.

And it may seem cold, but he has learned armor to protect himself.

Lucky
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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by jen »

Just read this treasure again.

One of the things that so endeared Moonlight to me, and I suspect I'm not alone was the delicious warmth, the rich sentimentality and the fabulous romance. However, without the cold we can't appreciate the warmth, can we?

Your description of Josef as a series of masks is wonderful. I have never thought of it that way, but it makes a lot of sense. Over the centuries, it would be logical that in some ways he loses touch with the mortal coil, yet he has become preternaturally good at maintaining the facade of warmth and caring. I am not intimating that these emotions are totally foreign to him. Caring for Sarah after the failed Turning is not the action of a creature free of emotion. Maintaining a friendship with Mick, who is far from the poster boy of vampires, is not the act of one totally detached from compassion, yet he can choose to go there or...not. And he recognizes that there are times when it is actually kinder to be a little...cold.

Fabulous!

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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by librarian_7 »

jen--what a surprise to see this one back on actives! (A pleasant surprise, to be sure.) I know that Mick questions why lack of connectedness would be a good thing, as time goes on, but I think there are certain emotional ramifications he hasn't grasped yet. Josef knows, that for his own peace of mind, he cannot afford to get too tangled in emotions--which evidently doesn't stop him, entirely. The pain he has felt over Sarah, and her horrible situation over the past decades, would surely make him even more wary of letting his heart be involved. And yes, I know I deal with that extensively in other fic--it's something of a topic I've given considerable thought to, over the past few years.

I think this particular freshie, Diana, is one that Josef liked well enough, and enjoyed spending some time with, but never had a deep affection or regard for. It seems to be his talent, and his tragedy, that every freshie of his thinks she's the Special One. Which is fine for getting enthusiastic donations, but not so good when time comes to move on. Of course, too, in the very hierarchical world we've extrapolated for our ML vamps, being the exclusive freshie for a vamp as old and powerful as Josef would be a matter of considerable pride, as well. And hurt pride...that's a huge problem. For Diana to move "down" in the ranks, by forming a relationship with a less powerful vamp would be a real kick in the ego. Freshies have to decide whether continuing to be close to the vampire community is worth that gradual diminishment in status. I'd suspect most of them move on, and look back on their "glory days" the same as most of us do with remembering our own youthful successes. But there are always those few who cannot seem to relinquish the past...

Thanks for reading and commenting! I swear, you find pieces I'd forgotten I ever wrote!

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Re: Cold (for Champagne Challenge #124) PG-13

Post by jen »

I know this is not the place for this, but when I saw the Coffee House recommended fic list hit the Active Topics, I saw that I have spent too much time perusing the Active Topics and not mining the treasures out of the Library as I used to. The great stories are still there...well, most of them. I miss Eris' fabulous fic and a few other treasures we have lost over the years but there is so much great stuff still there, and by reading and commenting it will pop back up on Active Topics and maybe others will enjoy it, too.

You, Lucky, are responsible for a LOT of it!

Thank you!

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