In the Darkest Place (In Between 11 and 12, PG13)

[Shadow]

Shadow

That was fabulous!

This gave us a look at the terrible darkness possible when someone is turned. Poor Elaine! Poor Chloe, who thought she was the lucky one, the survivor, only to meet death in another form.

Another rich exposition of events between the episodes. and they are getting even richer!

Thank you

Jenna

This was definitely a very dark chapter ... I'm really glad you enjoyed it! It is so great that you find that they're getting richer as they go along.
( They are certainly getting harder to write!) Thanks so much for the wonderful comment.

[Shadow]

This was a truly heartwrenching chapter, first Beth's grief spelled out again, then the story of Elaine's turning and what Mick did to make him think he's a monster, and the guilt he's bearing. I love how you tie this in with the danger of being busted if the Cleaners can't contain his indescretion, and how Elaine gives him some hope back that things might work out. And then he thinks about the chance of getting the cure, and it ties in right with the next episode. Wonderful!!!

Hi francis ... It was great that you mentioned the part about the Cleaner's message to Mick, which may well come again up later on ... and I'm glad that things are still tying into the episodes properly! Thanks so much.

[tucutecats]

Wow!what a terrific story,you are truly gifted

[Shadow]

Wow!what a terrific story,you are truly gifted

Thanks so very much for the comment! It's so great to know you've been reading this.

[allegrita]

Shadow, here I am again, commenting on your previous story before I go read the next one. And I can almost guarantee that you'll once again blow me away so much that I won't be able to say anything rational about that one at first. Your writing is really that powerful.

Oh, man... this chapter is so very dark, but beautifully leavened with hope and friendship. Mick's hope of finding a way to mortality and thus to Beth, Mick's hope for Elaine, and hers for him. And the wonderful friendship between Mick and Elaine, and especially between Josef and Mick. It's just so rich, so very real in the way you draw it, that it comforts me as well.

Mick's conversation with Beth at the end of Love Lasts Forever was very painful to watch, and the look on his face spoke volumes about those things he felt guilt for. Your story has illuminated that terrible darkness and helped us all to see why Mick hates being a vampire so much, and why he is so adamantly opposed to turning anyone ever again... except, of course, that he's not sure he could be strong enough to hold back if Beth were the one lying there. And what torture that must be for him. No wonder he longs so much to give up that power to grant undeath to the dying, knowing the horrific consequences of such power.

And yes, of course, Mick would think about how close Beth came to dying herself, that day. So very close. It's chilling to think that he might have had to make the choice while Beth was dying after a brutal attack--just as Elaine had. Knowing what would happen to Beth if he did turn her. And if he thinks the Cleaner is pissed now, imagine the reaction if he'd turned a reporter into a vampire in front of a bunch of cops and paramedics.

I'm glad you're going to address the issue of Mick and the Cleaner. Thank you for filling in the inevitable consequences of such public behavior, which were woefully neglected by the show. Just as Beth would certainly have had to face some consequences from killing Lee Jay, it's ridiculous to assume that Mick could go all vamp-crazy in a police station, and take out an entire bar of bad dudes, without some repercussions in the vampire world. I look forward to seeing how you handle this ticklish situation.

The story of Elaine is so heartwrenchingly, awfully tragic. You've done a wonderful job of describing a young and inexperienced Mick, deliberately ignorant of the vampire rules. I could feel his desperation and ignorance when Elaine was dying, and his despair at having made such a horrible mistake. And as a small digression, I loved the way you described the Monterey Pop festival. You created the ambiance of that time with deft verbal sketches. Not too much detail to trip yourself up--just enough to give us a feel for the time and place. And in this chapter, the fog that Mick walked through... I grew up in coastal Northern California, and I've walked through that very fog countless times. I loved that touch...it not only added atmosphere to the scene, but it further grounded the flashback in realism.

I'm glad we finally know the story of Elaine's disastrous turning, and the guilt she and Mick share about it. And speaking of guilt, I'm so glad that both Elaine and Josef told Mick that Beth, too, is racked with guilt. He needed to know, because Beth won't ever be able to say so. And I think their telling him about the guilt Beth feels is what made it possible for him to go back to her later, and help her through the nightmare, and learn for himself that she truly does love him. And need him. Maybe that knowledge will help him through the period where Beth just can't let herself reach out to him.

So here I am, pulled back into Moonlight by the power and brilliance of your writing. I love you for bringing me back to this place, Shadow. I'm so glad you are writing these stories.

[Shadow]

Shadow, here I am again, commenting on your previous story before I go read the next one. And I can almost guarantee that you'll once again blow me away so much that I won't be able to say anything rational about that one at first. Your writing is really that powerful.

Oh, man... this chapter is so very dark, but beautifully leavened with hope and friendship. Mick's hope of finding a way to mortality and thus to Beth, Mick's hope for Elaine, and hers for him. And the wonderful friendship between Mick and Elaine, and especially between Josef and Mick. It's just so rich, so very real in the way you draw it, that it comforts me as well.

Mick's conversation with Beth at the end of Love Lasts Forever was very painful to watch, and the look on his face spoke volumes about those things he felt guilt for. Your story has illuminated that terrible darkness and helped us all to see why Mick hates being a vampire so much, and why he is so adamantly opposed to turning anyone ever again... except, of course, that he's not sure he could be strong enough to hold back if Beth were the one lying there. And what torture that must be for him. No wonder he longs so much to give up that power to grant undeath to the dying, knowing the horrific consequences of such power.

And yes, of course, Mick would think about how close Beth came to dying herself, that day. So very close. It's chilling to think that he might have had to make the choice while Beth was dying after a brutal attack--just as Elaine had. Knowing what would happen to Beth if he did turn her. And if he thinks the Cleaner is pissed now, imagine the reaction if he'd turned a reporter into a vampire in front of a bunch of cops and paramedics.

I'm glad you're going to address the issue of Mick and the Cleaner. Thank you for filling in the inevitable consequences of such public behavior, which were woefully neglected by the show. Just as Beth would certainly have had to face some consequences from killing Lee Jay, it's ridiculous to assume that Mick could go all vamp-crazy in a police station, and take out an entire bar of bad dudes, without some repercussions in the vampire world. I look forward to seeing how you handle this ticklish situation.

The story of Elaine is so heartwrenchingly, awfully tragic. You've done a wonderful job of describing a young and inexperienced Mick, deliberately ignorant of the vampire rules. I could feel his desperation and ignorance when Elaine was dying, and his despair at having made such a horrible mistake. And as a small digression, I loved the way you described the Monterey Pop festival. You created the ambiance of that time with deft verbal sketches. Not too much detail to trip yourself up--just enough to give us a feel for the time and place. And in this chapter, the fog that Mick walked through... I grew up in coastal Northern California, and I've walked through that very fog countless times. I loved that touch...it not only added atmosphere to the scene, but it further grounded the flashback in realism.

I'm glad we finally know the story of Elaine's disastrous turning, and the guilt she and Mick share about it. And speaking of guilt, I'm so glad that both Elaine and Josef told Mick that Beth, too, is racked with guilt. He needed to know, because Beth won't ever be able to say so. And I think their telling him about the guilt Beth feels is what made it possible for him to go back to her later, and help her through the nightmare, and learn for himself that she truly does love him. And need him. Maybe that knowledge will help him through the period where Beth just can't let herself reach out to him.

So here I am, pulled back into Moonlight by the power and brilliance of your writing. I love you for bringing me back to this place, Shadow. I'm so glad you are writing these stories.

Fortunately I've found your comment at a time when I didn't have to rush off to work, Alle . . . which is the only reason it didn't make me late!

This had to be a pretty dark chapter just because of the end of LLF, and that look on Mick's face . . . some of those old dark memories just had to be surfacing. I'm really glad the darkness here was relieved a bit by Elaine and Josef's presence; I was hoping for that effect. That's such an interesting point you've made about how one of the things Mick really hates is the power of being able to give undeath to the dying . . . . that would be an incredibly hard thing to live with. And to have Beth ask for it for Josh -- some kind of a worst nightmare, though having to decide whether to do it for Beth would be even harder. (And if that came up he probably wouldn't even think about the consequences of doing such a thing in public! Yeah, the Cleaners would not be too pleased..... )

So fantastic that the Monterey Pop Festival descriptions worked for you! (Especially since you must have heard a lot about it from your sister.) And the fog, too . . . everything I read about Monterey mentioned it, and it did seem like the perfect atmosphere for Mick to be in at that moment. Just love that it felt real to you.

I did have the feeling that at the beginning of TMC, Beth was in a very similar place as she was at the end of LLF, but that Mick had become more optimistic. I thought his understanding of Beth's guilt factor might have been something that would get him to that place -- and that it would probably take at least two people telling him that to get him to believe it.

Thank you so so much - and I'm so glad you're reading these stories!

[maggatha3]

It is almost midnight and I have already treated myself with one more episode of Moonlight and your In Between..The previous one was a very strong and hard part of the story, and I hated every bit of Mick's physical and mental pain.. This In between, on the other hand, was THE saddest so far..Everybody has to face their own personal ordeal, the loss and the pain of life for both vamps and humans, and the way things are they have to do it by themselves.

As the story was built, Beth turned Mick away mostly because of the guilt she felt for having feelings for him. It was actually her choise to be alone, without her guardian angel. So, I really felt good that you focused on Mick. Josef's appearance - that is what friends are for- and then Elaine.

Her story was so dark, her turnign so desperate. No wonder why Mick would not turn Josh or anybody else, not even to ''save'' their lives. I really feel for that girl, Elaine seems like a miracle in my eyes. She has been through so much, given the fact that in her mortal life she had been a modest, shy teenager. She even suffered as a vampire from the very first moment, God, she killed Chloe??? And , then trying to make a new life for herself she lost Kevin! Yet she is hanging in there, and clearing things in Mick's mind, giving him hope he would never find alone, leading him on to a fight he would never start by himself. Mick and Elaine seem to have a lot of parellels in their way of acting and thinking -maybe it is their common blood- but there is a tiny fire in Elaine that I have not seen in Mick. Not yet.

Shadow, there is a strong woman in front of us, she must have been there from the beginning and I haven't noticed? To me, she is even stronger and certainly much more clear-minded than her quite older and much more experienced sire. She is a fighter, despite her own pain. She needs comfort and she is the one to offer it open -heartedly. And , she likes Beth. It felt so great to hear her say that meeting Beth changed her mind about their future. She understands Beth, guilt being the first feeling she mentions that Beth is now feeling. (I still long for a proper introduction between those special Mick-ladies.)

And I love Logan's touch in the story, even mentioning his name brings freshness I would have never guessed, him being buried in that dark room forever. Should I dare to hope...?

Last scene, he really had to go back to her? Of course. Well, it was an important point for him and hopefully it was taken. She still longs for him. She calls for him in her sleep, in her despair. She WILL recover. The next episode was the only one they did not work together, or share some kind of intimacy. It was mostly pursuing their own goals seperately. No wonder.

Till next time... My Sire

[FarCry]

Wow, Shadow, I've been very curious to know just what happened with Elaine's turning for quite some time, and now I feel that so much more light has been shed on Mick's refusal to turn Josh. I mean, I suppose he already had some pretty compelling reasons for not doing it, but I think with the awkwardness of the moment between Beth and him, when she was crying in her room (I'm referring to the show now, not your story, though sometimes I find myself having trouble keeping them separate in my mind!), some of the impact of that was lost, especially after Beth hit him with the question of "Why do you go on living?". But here is something concrete, something that actually happened, that Mick did and can't tell Beth about yet, but we know about now. Mick's been living with the guilt of having caused Chloe's death by turning Elaine and being ignorant of the possible outcomes, which, knowing Mick, he's taking the full blame for. Thank you for helping me to understand Mick that much more.

I also enjoyed the conversation between Mick and Josef earlier in the chapter:

“You know where Beth lives?” Well, of course he did . . . but somehow, Mick found it disturbing.

“I know where everybody lives.”

“So why are you really here, Josef?”

“Well, you were in the news again.”

Priceless!

[Shadow]

Maggatha, your comments are amazing and so thoughtful! You often make me see my own story in a new way . . . so interesting.

This In between, on the other hand, was THE saddest so far..Everybody has to face their own personal ordeal, the loss and the pain of life for both vamps and humans, and the way things are they have to do it by themselves.

This was meant to be the darkest and saddest of the chapters, and I think it will remain so. The end of Love Lasts Forever was to me the darkest moment in the series, and it felt as if this interval should reflect that.

Her story was so dark, her turnign so desperate. No wonder why Mick would not turn Josh or anybody else, not even to ''save'' their lives. I really feel for that girl, Elaine seems like a miracle in my eyes. She has been through so much, given the fact that in her mortal life she had been a modest, shy teenager. She even suffered as a vampire from the very first moment, God, she killed Chloe??? And , then trying to make a new life for herself she lost Kevin! Yet she is hanging in there, and clearing things in Mick's mind, giving him hope he would never find alone, leading him on to a fight he would never start by himself. Mick and Elaine seem to have a lot of parellels in their way of acting and thinking -maybe it is their common blood- but there is a tiny fire in Elaine that I have not seen in Mick. Not yet.
Shadow, there is a strong woman in front of us, she must have been there from the beginning and I haven't noticed? To me, she is even stronger and certainly much more clear-minded than her quite older and much more experienced sire. She is a fighter, despite her own pain. She needs comfort and she is the one to offer it open -heartedly. And , she likes Beth. It felt so great to hear her say that meeting Beth changed her mind about their future.

I really can't tell you how much it means to hear this about Elaine! She does have much strength of her own, having thrown out the outline some time back and gone her own way. She does indeed see many things more clearly than her sire does -- especially the things about Mick's own situation. You've really made me wonder, mentioning that tiny fire you've seen in Elaine, if Mick would actually have been able to survive what she has endured . . .

And I love Logan's touch in the story, even mentioning his name brings freshness I would have never guessed, him being buried in that dark room forever. Should I dare to hope...?

Thank you so much, my little fledgling!

[Shadow]

Wow, Shadow, I've been very curious to know just what happened with Elaine's turning for quite some time, and now I feel that so much more light has been shed on Mick's refusal to turn Josh. I mean, I suppose he already had some pretty compelling reasons for not doing it, but I think with the awkwardness of the moment between Beth and him, when she was crying in her room (I'm referring to the show now, not your story, though sometimes I find myself having trouble keeping them separate in my mind!), some of the impact of that was lost, especially after Beth hit him with the question of "Why do you go on living?". But here is something concrete, something that actually happened, that Mick did and can't tell Beth about yet, but we know about now. Mick's been living with the guilt of having caused Chloe's death by turning Elaine and being ignorant of the possible outcomes, which, knowing Mick, he's taking the full blame for. Thank you for helping me to understand Mick that much more.

Hi FarCry, how great to see you here again! I'm amazed, with your schedule, that you find time to read anything at all, and it is quite an honor to have you come by here. I always love your comments so much! I REALLY love that you mentioned having trouble keeping the show and the story separate in your mind . . . that is such a compliment. And I'm really glad you liked this specific explanation for some of Mick's actions -- his refusal to turn Josh in the show seemed like a lot more than just a general aversion to turning someone. And from the look on his face when Beth asked him the question in Sonata, I felt pretty sure that he'd not only turned someone before, but that it had not gone well at all.
(And being as it's Mick, I'm sure he would take all the blame for whatever had happened . . .)

Thanks so much for reading, FarCry! (and thanks for mentioning that bit with Josef . . . I did have a lot of fun with that conversation.)

[redwinter101]

I've re-watched LLF quite a few times over the last few days, and a few of us had a super conversation about it yesterday in another thread - especially how heartbreaking that final scene was. So it was the perfect time for me to pick up my re-reading and remind myself of the beautiful job you did of moving on toward the next episode. Of the whole show, this was the darkest place, truly. Elaine and Chloe's story just adds to that grief and heartbreak.

So tragic, but so very, very beautiful.

Red

[Shadow]

Of the whole show, this was the darkest place, truly. Elaine and Chloe's story just adds to that grief and heartbreak.

This interval just had to be the place where the story of Elaine's turning would finally get told -- the darkest spot in the series for a very dark moment.

(I was sure glad they didn't start TMC with something jarringly different, but kept that dark sadness throughout the beginning. . . . .)

So tragic, but so very, very beautiful.

[Marigold]

Poor Elaine... I feel so badly for her. She was viewed as being ugly, she was attacked after trying to protect Chloe, she killed Chloe and the old man, she had to be kept in the silver, things didn't work out with Kevin, Kevin died, and her email to Thomas hurt Mick. Elaine has had a tough life.

And poor Mick... In trying to save one life, two were taken. Then he was injured and almost drained Rebecca. To top it all off, Elaine's turning didn't go according to plan.

It was great to finally find out the whole story of Elaine's turning, as sad as it was.

Thank God the necklace Beth had given him hadn’t been silver. In fact, she hadn’t worn silver since . . . when? Since she found out I was a vampire. She’d worn gold, white gold, and simple stainless steel jewelry, but she’d never once worn silver.

How thoughtful of Beth!

She still trusted him, deep down. And they were still connected, in a way that couldn’t be broken. Elaine was right. There really was still hope for them.

What a wonderful way to end the story. Regardless of everything that has happened, there is still hope for the future.

Thank you, Shadow! Well done!

[Shadow]

So great to get your comment, Marigold!

Elaine has had such a difficult life, it really is amazing that she's survived it. When I first started writing her character, I really had no idea that she would be so strong.

I always wondered about Beth's jewelry, especially when she wore something silver-colored. I just like to think that she would have stopped wearing silver once she found out what Mick was . . .

What a wonderful way to end the story. Regardless of everything that has happened, there is still hope for the future.

I'm so glad you liked the ending! Mick seemed a lot more optimistic at the beginning of TMC than at the end of LLF, and it seemed like there must have been a reason for that.

Thanks so much.