On the Streets of Old New York (In Between 10 and 11, PG13)

[Shadow]

So... now I have a little more time and am finally able to write a comment. This time here on this site, cause I've just read it here.

First of all: Wow! This was a really long chapter! I think the longest until now. But I love it! The longer the better. Second: I still love your style of writing. It's just wonderful although this time it wasn't that easy to follow the storyline but that's more linked to the content and not a critique (it has to be like that because of the nightmares and Micks drugged state).

And now to the content:
I really thought this is somehow a whole story on its own, so exciting, so long and it gives the relationship of Mick and Elaine so much more depth. Although it's not about Mick and Beth directly I really liked that chapter and I so feel with Mick. I'm so sorry for him that he now also has to endure such a horror-story with these desperate vampires. And even in his whole ordeal he constantly thinks about Beth, which shows how much he already loves her, how much he needs her - until his fears for Elaine become too strong.
And this flashback into their past was great. Finally we get to know what happened with Elaine and why he has such feelings of guilt concerning her. The whole scene where Micks holds her and trys to help her back into the world was so touching... Simply beautiful and so sad.

And I must admit, that although I hate Asha for doing theses things to Mick and almost killing him, that I feel sorry for her in the end. To kill your own child... That's a thing... Don't think she can live on with that.
But I'm so... SO relieved, that the part with Elaine murdering herself was indeed just a dream and Mick came back right in time to keep her from doing this. I also hope she'll not plan it again and see that Mick needs her. Her needs her to not break down with feelings of guilt. As one could see through the dreams her death would kill a part of himself and this isn't allowed to happen. Please, Shadow, don't do this. I really like the Elaine-Mick-storyline and I really like Elaine. Don't let her die in the end.

I really admire how you got back to the story of the series. You start there, develop a really good, exciting story and then manage to go back to the storyline and still everything fits together. Or better the storyline of the next episode of the series fits even better into the whole than before. It's fantastic! You're such a talent!
And I really look forward to the next part of your story.

Don't know if I wrote everything down that went through my head while reading (I don't think so) but if I forgot something I urgently need to tell you I simply come back again.

It is so great to get your comment, Lilith! I so love that you are keeping up with this story . . . especially since with all you are doing, I don't know when you have time to breathe.

This chapter I think is indeed quite different from the others in the series, partly because for once, there didn't seem to be any violent mood swings between the episodes, and not much in the way of unanswered questions - except for how in the world Josef survived that explosion! (which will actually get brought up in the next chapter.) And also it seemed like other very big events would no doubt take place in the characters' lives, more than just the resolving of the situations we saw in the episodes. Having Mick experience some of the things that Elaine went through was also a way to get back into the story of just what happened to her back in the past. (And I'm so happy to know how much care you have for Elaine! Though I can't say yet what will happen with her....)

It is so good to know that even though this chapter went pretty far afield, everything still seemed fit together with the episodes. It was a bit of an experiment letting the writing follow Mick's disorientation, as that definitely made it harder to follow the storyline, but it just felt like the right way to go in this particular chapter. Thank you so much for reading! And the next chapter should be along pretty soon....

[allegrita]

Shadow, I wanted to come back and reread this one (and leave you that long-promised comment!) before going on to the next chapter of your wonderful, amazing series.

I'm awestruck at the way you wrote this chapter. You painted Mick's anguish and disorientation so perfectly with words. I wonder if it's because you're a master video-maker that you're so good at creating an environment with your writing? Well, whatever the reason, I was utterly immersed in Mick for this chapter. I felt that I was Mick. I understood the sensory mixup caused by the silver, and I sank into his comforting dreams with him, and I was chilled and injured and terrified right along with him. One thing that struck me this time was the smoke Mick kept smelling and seeing. What a brilliant touch.

I loved this side-story, the way you foreshadowed episode 12, and introduced the idea that rumors of the Cure could be floating around among the vampire world. Your depiction of a Cleaner with a guilty secret was great, and I loved the way that Mick was caught up in this disastrous adventure because of a connection to Elaine. Mick can certainly identify with the poor freshie who just wanted her life back... and oh, what a heart-tearing experience it would be to kill your own child out of blood lust. As much as I hated Asha and Thomas for what they put Mick through, I felt such sympathy for them.

Mick's guilt and regret about Elaine have haunted every chapter of this story, and now we finally know the extent of that regret, and the reasons for it. His love for her is really immense, and I wonder if, till now, he had ever really come to terms with it. He thinks of her as his daughter, he tries to hold her in the world through sheer strength of will. And yet even with her, he's never been able to express that love. And she's never been able to reach out to him, either. How very like an eternal parent-teenager relationship that seems... and having experienced that parent-adolescent relationship from both perspectives now, I feel achingly sorry for both of them that they've spent so long bashing against each other and failing to express their love for each other. Maybe, just maybe, now they'll have a chance to do it.

And then we come to Mick and Beth... oh, my god, Shadow, you turned me into one huge, aching lump in the throat when you wrote about Mick's mental conversations with Beth. His love for her, his inability to express it, his fear and hope and disappointment and despair... they ring utterly true for me. And so does Beth's whisper in Mick's head. He did have Beth in his heart, holding his hand through his torture. She never really did leave him. She was there all along... part of her was. They're connected. It started when she was little and it was sealed in the desert. That look on her face in the taxi said it all. She'll always be with him, and he'll always be with her. They carry each other in their hearts, and that fact will overcome all fear and all doubt and all pain.

[jen]

Wonderful, wonderful reread!!!

So much more than just a short piece connecting two episodes, this has a richness, detail and substance of a episode that could stand alone.

Elaine is so damaged, yet she i gaining perspective and showing amazing strength.

All this happened, and Beth knew nothing about it. Somehow, I wish she would learn about what transpired.

Thanks, Shadow!!!

Jenna

[Shadow]

Shadow, I wanted to come back and reread this one (and leave you that long-promised comment!) before going on to the next chapter of your wonderful, amazing series.

I'm awestruck at the way you wrote this chapter. You painted Mick's anguish and disorientation so perfectly with words. I wonder if it's because you're a master video-maker that you're so good at creating an environment with your writing? Well, whatever the reason, I was utterly immersed in Mick for this chapter. I felt that I was Mick. I understood the sensory mixup caused by the silver, and I sank into his comforting dreams with him, and I was chilled and injured and terrified right along with him. One thing that struck me this time was the smoke Mick kept smelling and seeing. What a brilliant touch.

I loved this side-story, the way you foreshadowed episode 12, and introduced the idea that rumors of the Cure could be floating around among the vampire world. Your depiction of a Cleaner with a guilty secret was great, and I loved the way that Mick was caught up in this disastrous adventure because of a connection to Elaine. Mick can certainly identify with the poor freshie who just wanted her life back... and oh, what a heart-tearing experience it would be to kill your own child out of blood lust. As much as I hated Asha and Thomas for what they put Mick through, I felt such sympathy for them.

Mick's guilt and regret about Elaine have haunted every chapter of this story, and now we finally know the extent of that regret, and the reasons for it. His love for her is really immense, and I wonder if, till now, he had ever really come to terms with it. He thinks of her as his daughter, he tries to hold her in the world through sheer strength of will. And yet even with her, he's never been able to express that love. And she's never been able to reach out to him, either. How very like an eternal parent-teenager relationship that seems... and having experienced that parent-adolescent relationship from both perspectives now, I feel achingly sorry for both of them that they've spent so long bashing against each other and failing to express their love for each other. Maybe, just maybe, now they'll have a chance to do it.

And then we come to Mick and Beth... oh, my god, Shadow, you turned me into one huge, aching lump in the throat when you wrote about Mick's mental conversations with Beth. His love for her, his inability to express it, his fear and hope and disappointment and despair... they ring utterly true for me. And so does Beth's whisper in Mick's head. He did have Beth in his heart, holding his hand through his torture. She never really did leave him. She was there all along... part of her was. They're connected. It started when she was little and it was sealed in the desert. That look on her face in the taxi said it all. She'll always be with him, and he'll always be with her. They carry each other in their hearts, and that fact will overcome all fear and all doubt and all pain.

So I should mention, Alle, that I've occasionally run the risk of being late for work because I couldn't stop reading a story, but this is the first time that's happened because I couldn't stop reading a comment!
(I guess I really shouldn't have popped in to read it when I only had a minute, but I couldn't resist ... )

Anyway, I don't even know how to tell you how great it was to read it! I was going to pick out my favorite parts to answer, but there's no hope.... it's all my favorite part. It was so awesome that you could actually feel like you were Mick here. Wow. I was nervous about following his disorientation so very closely, in case it got too confusing, but somehow it seemed like the only way to write this chapter.

I loved how you spoke of the eternal parent-teenager relationship between Mick and Elaine. I'm not quite sure how Elaine ended up being that age, but that was something that really struck me - what it would be like to be stuck forever in that traumatic period, without either memories of an earlier parent-child dynamic or hopes of a future where they're both reasonable adults. And their basic personalities don't help much, either, as far as being able to reach out to each other. It may be that the events of this chapter are enough to change things for them, though. (Can't say for certain, because Elaine refuses to follow outlines .... )I'm so glad you liked the side story, too, and that Mick's thoughts of Beth rang true.

And speaking of having a way with words ... those last six sentences your wrote are sooo beautiful.

[Shadow]

Wonderful, wonderful reread!!!

So much more than just a short piece connecting two episodes, this has a richness, detail and substance of a episode that could stand alone.

Elaine is so damaged, yet she i gaining perspective and showing amazing strength.

All this happened, and Beth knew nothing about it. Somehow, I wish she would learn about what transpired.

Thanks, Shadow!!!

Jenna

I am sooo delighted to know that you are re-reading these, Jenna! Especially the really long chapters like this one ....
Thanks so much for this comment ... I just love that you can see this chapter as an episode that could stand alone. When I was starting this I had the thought that some of the chapters would be fairly simple connections, without too much going on, but that other times, surely there would be some major events taking place between the episodes.

I have the same feeling about wishing that Beth could know what happened here. She couldn't know at this time, to fit in with the remaining episodes, but I like to think she found out about all of this sometime after Sonata.

Thank you for the re-read!!

[allegrita]

Shadow, I've been wondering... do you plan to write a final story that follows what happened at the end of Sonata? It would be a wonderful way to finish out this extraordinary series.

And thank you so much for your amazing response to my comment...

[Shadow]

Shadow, I've been wondering... do you plan to write a final story that follows what happened at the end of Sonata?

You know, that should really be an easy question to answer .... but it isn't....
I debated that a lot when I was planning this, and had pretty much decided not to - instead I thought I'd see if I could slip enough foreshadowing of Sonata into the last interval to make a satisfying ending. But as that may not work, I hadn't ruled out doing a final one, maybe kind of an epilogue, even though it wouldn't be in between episodes. So ... I'm not really sure just yet!

[FarCry]

What an intense, beautifully written chapter! I was so drawn in by this that I was even able to block out the distractions around me (something I'm not always successful at). You really brought us inside Mick's head and let us feel not only his pain but his immense capacity for love and compassion. Your use of your original characters was wonderful as well. I would have loved to have seen something like this in an episode!
(and what beautiful comments you got - bravo!)

[Shadow]

What an intense, beautifully written chapter! I was so drawn in by this that I was even able to block out the distractions around me (something I'm not always successful at). You really brought us inside Mick's head and let us feel not only his pain but his immense capacity for love and compassion. Your use of your original characters was wonderful as well. I would have loved to have seen something like this in an episode!
(and what beautiful comments you got - bravo!)

Wow FarCry, knowing about your distractions that is some compliment! I'm really glad I could draw you into Mick's head in such a way, and that you liked the use of the original characters as well. And how fantastic that you'd have liked to see it as an episode! (I would guess it's certainly long enough to be one .... ) I know how little time you have for reading so it's really an honor that you're continuing with this story! Thanks so much for the lovely comment.

[maggatha3]

Well,my friend Shadow, here I go again, night ritual and everything. I did everything as I was supposed to, watching the episode and reading your story, but then.... This time commenting on your story was kind of weard to me, and forgive my choise of word, but I feel very awkward commenting after Lilith, her being so important as she has become to me and of course her leaving you a wonderful and detailed comment. I even considered not writing a single word.

Only, this exact story was so strong and had such an effect on me , I really had to tell you. It was the second time I'd read it, still it was striking as the first one. It even did not feel like an in-between at all, at some points, but as a separate story, and not at all as I had thought Mick had spent the night in NY, leaving Beth in the taxi, in heavy footsteps that night. I had thought of a lonely night, in bitter thoughts, but this was pure horror, the silver, those friends of Elaine desperate for the cure, his dreams and nightmares, his utter love for Beth and his fatherly care for Elaine....Were you in pain when writing it? It sure felt like that..to me. All this time, reading it I felt trapped in a net that was your story and I could not escape, a tunnel with no light at sight..Yet, you made it work and created a silver lightning, pulled him and me out of this horror and finally brought us to the story line and onto the next episode.

Elaine is a wonderful character, fits so well to the whole story and gets to Mick in a way nobody else can, surprisingly now turning him to Beth and making him realize it is inevitable for them to seek each other. This girl who sounded so desperate in her first appearance, now has became his beam, giving him hope where he would never have thought of finding it..I absolutely adore her ! (can't wait for her to be properly introduced to Beth !)

I actually shouldn't write that..but...this IB left me at a loss..My Sire

[Shadow]

Well Maggatha, I'm awfully glad that you did leave a comment here in spite of everything! And I'm glad that this one could have such an effect . . . and could be something so unexpected.

Were you in pain when writing it? It sure felt like that..to me. All this time, reading it I felt trapped in a net that was your story and I could not escape, a tunnel with no light at sight..

I had this idea of Mick feeling trapped that way, in a bad time that just kept on getting worse . . . but it was definitely more the product of imagination than personal experience at the time of writing . . . in fact, the story was actually quite a bit darker than this in the original outline.

Elaine is a wonderful character, fits so well to the whole story and gets to Mick in a way nobody else can, surprisingly now turning him to Beth and making him realize it is inevitable for them to seek each other. This girl who sounded so desperate in her first appearance, now has became his beam, giving him hope where he would never have thought of finding it..I absolutely adore her !

How I love what you've said about Elaine! She has made quite a change, being now so in support of Mick and Beth when that was not the case at the beginning. (And her proper introduction to Beth? Hmm, we'll see!)

[allegrita]

Wow, maggatha... what an amazing comment. You captured my feelings while I was reading this story--trapped right along with Mick, enmeshed in a terrible situation and unable to get out... the only way to go being forward, and the story pulling me along so that I absolutely HAD to go forward with Mick. Such a dark, tragic, difficult, and painful chapter. But Mick's goodness and compassion shone through the awful circumstances so brightly... and so did his love and need for Beth.

I love also how you described the changes we've seen in Elaine. She's grown stronger by having someone to care for, to care about, who she can really help. Maybe she doesn't know it yet, but I think that Mick is saving her, just as Beth saved him long ago. I hope so... because she deserves to find some sort of happiness.

[redwinter101]

Every time I read this I'm more immersed in it, more caught up, more desperate, more moved. It really is just... perfect. The end of SB was so heartbreaking for Mick, and imagining him going through this afterwards is horrific.

Once again, it is his dreams that provide the comfort - and the terror - and the ability to get to Elaine in time. You show us all the characters at their most true, and that, my friend, is a marvellous gift.

I honestly think this is one of the most perfect things I've ever read.

Red

[Shadow]

It's wonderful that this one can still move you so much, Red . . . and I'm especially glad it's this chapter. I'd wanted from the start to have at least one interval that had some big, episodic events in it, and it was great to be able to slip in a complete side story along the way. (And now that you mention Mick's dreams, I've remembered that the seed for this actually came from a dream . . . maybe that explains how important they are in this chapter!)

[Marigold]

Oh. My. Gosh. Shadow, this was amazing!!! I was wondering how you were going to write this chapter, given the way Sleeping Beauty ended. You greatly exceeded my expectations!

I'm so glad that you were able to give us a Mick-Beth date in NYC -- even if it was only in a dream.

I loved all the dream/nightmare sequences! It was fascinating to see what went on in Mick's mind while he was drifting in and out of consciousness. I loved the part where he climbed the tree as a young boy. It was very interesting to see how Elaine reacted to the turning.

Poor Asha... What happened to Katey is absolutely awful.

Also, poor Kevin and poor Elaine... It's amazing that Mick was able to foresee what Elaine was going to do. He got to her just in the nick of time, and it was enough to stop her, at least for the time being. It is so nice that she is finally reaching out to him.

He thought of the way she’d put her hand up to his on the other side of the window glass, of the wistful, loving look in her eyes. I think my dream was right. She didn’t really leave me, in her heart, any more than I’ve ever left her.

And he’d never even told Beth how he really felt about her.

I love her. With all my heart. Maybe it was time he told her so.

Yes, Mick, do it already!

Mick sure went through a lot in this chapter. I'm glad that he is now being taken care of by Elaine and Josef.

I can't believe how much you packed into this chapter! It just goes to show that we only saw a small portion of Mick's life in the episodes.

Thank you so much, Shadow!