We Count the Cost (In Between 9 and 10, PG13)

[Shadow]

Disclaimer: Moonlight is not mine and no copyright infringement is intended.








IN BETWEEN
nine and ten






We Count the Cost




Stakes don’t kill vampires. They just paralyze them.

Beth had echoed Mick’s own words, and they were true enough, even though being paralyzed could be deadly in itself. Holding Coraline, Mick had a sharp flare of memory - immobilized by a stake, one enemy still standing, a knife flashing down toward his throat. He could almost feel the blood pouring from the knife wound, seeping away down the alley; he could almost hear Coraline’s voice, calling out to him. “Mick,” she whispered now, barely loud enough for him to hear. He held her close, desperately willing her to live, to keep on breathing. Beth was right - if Coraline had still been a vampire, he could have pulled the stake free and watched her recover on the spot.

But Coraline was human now.

Is it really in her heart? That wasn’t likely, since she was still alive. But even if the stake had missed her heart, it had to have punctured a lung. It would be dangerous to move her, but it might be even more dangerous to wait for help to arrive. Call an ambulance or take her to the hospital himself? He had only an instant to decide.

“I fell,” Coraline said faintly, struggling to get each word out. “Accident. My house.”

Mick heard Beth’s intake of breath behind him. Beth, oh God, Beth. He’d never even imagined that she would do such a thing – if he had, he’d have been ready to stop her. What had she thought she was doing? She thought Coraline was a vampire. She thought she was paralyzing a vampire. But Beth had been so crazed, so full of fury – would she have acted any differently if she'd known that Coraline was human? Mick shied away from the thought, uncertain of the answer.

Coraline was shivering. She’d claim it was an accident, if she lived long enough to do so – staying clear of the police was a reflex for her. And if she planned to say it had happened at her house, she mustn’t be found here. No ambulance, then. As carefully as he could he lifted her, brought her down the rest of the stairs, and lowered her to the floor. Beth stood flattened against the wall, her gaze locked on Coraline, the fury in her face just starting to be tempered by shock. She still didn’t quite realize what she’d done. But Mick did. You’ve killed my hopes, my dreams – she had the cure! She was alive after all, beyond all hope, and you’ve killed her. . . .

Mick pushed aside his own despair – there was no time for it. Coraline still had a chance, she was still alive, and it was up to him to keep her that way. He’d seen plenty of gunshot wounds to the chest, and this couldn’t be so very different. Seal the wound, watch for respiratory distress, be ready to do a needle decompression. The stake itself was already sealing this wound, though air could leak into the chest alongside it. But if I try to seal a potential leak, I could end up shifting the stake, and do more damage. He hesitated for an instant, not sure what to do.

“It hurts.” Coraline tried to lift her hand, to reach out for him. “It’s so cold.”

“I know.” Mick caught her hand and gently pushed it back down. “Stay still, Coraline. As still as you can.”

He ran upstairs, grabbed blankets, threw on his coat and shoes, and was back at her side in seconds. Beth hadn’t moved at all, but her eyes were wide and frightened now. Mick quickly wrapped the blankets around Coraline – her skin was already cold to the touch, and she was as pale as death. But she was still with him, still breathing, her heart still beating. He tried not to think how warm her skin had been in the shower, how it had felt to kiss her, how the terrible passion for her had flowed through him. He wouldn’t think of it, he couldn’t. No time. He grabbed his box of supplies from the kitchen cabinet, and added a blood bag from the fridge. Beth had turned to watch him, her eyes glassy with shock. He held the box out to her. “Carry this. I need you to drive. Can you?”

She took the box, but her face was blank, and he couldn’t even tell if she’d heard him. His keys were in his coat pocket; he pulled them out with a jangle.

“Beth! Can you drive?”

She looked up at him at last, nodded shakily, and took his keys from him, putting the box under one arm. He lifted Coraline, wrapped in blankets, and carried her out the door. Beth was silent in the elevator, and he concentrated on Coraline. He could hear fluid in her left lung now, a rasp in her breathing. She needed oxygen, but he didn’t have a tank. What was he thinking, not to have oxygen? He had nothing for humans, no fluids but blood, no painkillers or antibiotics, no steroids for shock. Improvisation was all well and good on the battlefield, but it was infinitely better to be well supplied.

In the car, Mick hovered over Coraline in the back seat. He smoothed her hair and put a hand to her face, a soothing touch, keeping his other hand pressed lightly against her chest. Her temperature was still dropping, but she hadn’t lost much blood yet. If she did start to bleed badly, what could he do? He had a bag of blood he could transfuse her with – probably not her type, but if she’d never had a transfusion before it would be safe enough. No way to know. There wasn’t time, anyway. Better to drive on to the hospital, unless –

Coraline shifted position and murmured something that even he couldn’t understand. Her eyes opened and she stared up at him in a panic, suddenly fighting for breath. She struggled to take in air, tried to call out to him. “Mick . . .” She couldn’t manage another sound, and beneath his hand he felt her lungs collapsing, her heartbeat growing weak.

“Beth! Pull over! Anywhere you can.” Mick dug in his box for an IV catheter, found it, held it tight in his hand. He hadn’t done this in over sixty years - did he even remember how? He steadied himself, letting his old combat reflexes take over, reciting the procedure in his head. The car slowed, then swung to the side of the road and stopped. In the relative silence Coraline’s painful breathing echoed in Mick’s ears. He pushed the blankets aside and tore open her shirt, then palpated her ribs on the left side. Did he want the second intercostal space, or the third? The second, I think. He positioned the catheter in the second space, just above the rib.

“What are you doing?” It was the first thing Beth had said since they’d left the apartment. She was staring at Coraline’s limp form, at her bare breast, at the bloody piece of wood still protruding from her chest. The stake Beth put there. Mick had a sudden vision of another time, Coraline lying before him in the wreckage of their fight, his stake thrust through the gauzy material of her gown, blood on her face and shock in her eyes. Stakes don’t kill vampires, but fires do. A flash, and he remembered lying in that alley with his throat cut, Coraline dragging a heavy body off of him and yanking out the stake that held him captive, his enemy’s blood on her hands.

Mick plunged the catheter between Coraline’s ribs, felt it pop into the pleural space, heard air being released through it. It’s working. I’m in the right spot.

“Mick?” Beth said.

He pulled the stylet, attached a stopcock and syringe, and started drawing off air. At vamp speed, it wouldn't take long to do this. “I’m letting the pressure off her chest. So she can breathe.”

“She - can’t breathe?” Beth’s voice was very small.

“Air got into her chest through the wound. When the chest fills with air, the lungs can’t work.” He was getting blood now as well as air, and he was afraid to draw off more. He removed the syringe and taped the catheter in place. Coraline’s breathing was still labored, but her heartbeat, though faint, was already growing stronger.

“How did you know to do that?” Beth asked.

“I’ve been around a long time,” Mick said shortly. He wrapped the blankets back around Coraline, careful not to block the airflow from the catheter. Old memories welled up, of the last time he’d done anything like this. In the Ardennes, near the end of the war. Jonathan Ross had been hit in the chest by machine-gun fire, his lungs pierced multiple times, but he’d somehow still been alive when Mick reached him. It was useless to give him any treatment, and I knew it, but how could I not try? Jonathan had died minutes later, under Mick’s hands. Could Coraline survive? She was in better shape than Jonathan had been; she had a chance. But how much of one? What he’d done was only a stopgap measure, meant to keep someone alive long enough to reach a hospital. He had no idea what her chances really were.

“Should I drive now?”

“Yes. Go.”

As the car moved back onto the road Mick looked out the window for the first time, startled by their surroundings. He’d thought that Beth would go to the county hospital, which was closest, but it looked like she was heading for Saint John’s. He almost called out for her to turn around, but at this point it wouldn’t save much time, and if Beth stayed on a route she was familiar with, they’d get there faster. He could see her in the rearview mirror, her eyes still wide with shock, her face nearly as pale as Coraline’s. Oh, Beth. Why did you do it?

At the hospital Coraline was taken quickly away, and Mick and Beth were left in the waiting room, staring at each other. Neither one spoke. A doctor came, to tell them that Morgan Vincent was going to be in surgery for hours, that they might as well go home for now. Mick nodded, and walked out. A moment later, Beth followed him.















“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Beth asked, as Mick stopped the Mercedes in front of her apartment.

How can you even ask that? “No,” he said. “I think she’ll die.”

Beth swallowed, and shivered. “Mick -- ”

“Just go. Please. I’ve got to – to do something.” He’d fed before that fateful shower, to try to replenish his own massive blood loss, but he already felt a desperate need for more.

“Are you going back to the hospital later?”

“Of course I am.”

Beth nodded, started to say something else, then changed her mind. She got out of the car and slowly headed for her front steps.

Mick was gone before she reached the door. He drove for three blocks, then pulled over in a shadowed spot and yanked the blood bag out of his box. He downed the cold blood as fast as he could, then leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. His mind was in turmoil, his thoughts spinning. Beth was probably going to ask about her car. I forgot that it was still at my place. That didn’t matter, though; she could take a cab over and fetch it any time she wanted. What mattered was the cure. There really is a cure. Something that could save me. Maybe something that could save Elaine. And now . . . I may not ever find out what it is. Why couldn’t Beth have shown up five minutes later? Or not at all? What had made her decide to stake Coraline? I’ve still got to tell Elaine about the cure, right away. She needs to know there’s hope. Even if Coraline dies . . . the knowledge must be out there somewhere. He shoved the empty blood bag under the seat, and checked his phone. No missed calls, so Coraline must still be in surgery. Please, please, let her live. Mick put the car in gear and started driving, heading for Elaine’s house, but with all his thoughts filled with memories of Coraline.















He had awakened hearing her voice, worried but demanding, calling his name. “Mick, wake up. Mick! Please. You have to feed.”

He smelled human blood, coursing through a warm body, and opened his eyes to see Coraline holding a human girl’s arm out to him. “No,” he whispered, pushing the arm away.

“She’s a freshie, Mick,” Coraline said impatiently. “All of them are. Josef sent them over.”

All of them? Mick’s vision was blurred, but now he could see three other girls standing behind the first one, none of them restrained or coerced, all waiting calmly. Then he recognized the girl in front – she was Moira, one of Josef’s girls, and Mick had fed from her before. Coraline was telling the truth, then. Moira smiled at him hesitantly, gentle concern on her face, and held her arm out to him again. Mick let himself go, knowing he didn’t have to worry – Josef’s girls were well trained, and with four of them, he would be able to get enough blood without harming any of them. He buried his fangs in Moira’s arm and fed desperately, feeling utterly starved, but even as frantic as he was, it wasn’t so difficult to let go of her when another fresh warm wrist hovered in front of his face. Finally sated, he let go of the last girl and lay back, eyes closed, letting his strength slowly return. When he opened his eyes again the girls were gone, and Coraline was sitting on the bed beside him, watching him.

“Finally,” she said. “You’ll be okay, Mick. You still look like hell, though.”

Mick put a hand to his throat. The gaping wound was gone, thank God, but he was drenched in his own blood. His enemy’s knife flashing down, cutting deep into his throat . . . then stopping with a lurch. The vampire’s heavy body falling against his. Coraline pushing the body aside, yanking the stake from Mick’s chest, holding him in her arms. It was hard to speak – his larynx was still healing – but Mick managed a rough whisper. “Where’s Josef?”

“In New York. I got hold of him and he sent the girls over. It was risky waiting for them, though. You were in bad shape - you came awfully close to being beheaded.”

She frowned; she would obviously have preferred to have brought him a passerby, to drain immediately. But she didn’t. She knew I wouldn’t do it. Maybe she’s actually starting to understand me. Mick sat up slowly, looking around. He was in Coraline’s downtown apartment, on the satin-draped bed he’d once shared with her. He’d left her, this last time, two years back. How had she happened to find him in that alley?

“Were you following me?” he asked bluntly.

She lowered her eyes. “Yes,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t exactly regret it today.” His voice was still low and rough, but it was slowly getting stronger. “You saved my life.”

“Why did I need to? What were you thinking, taking on three vampires at once like that? Were you trying to die?”

Mick winced at the old hurt between them, at the very real pain in her voice. “I thought I was taking on one vampire. The others were just out of range. I couldn’t smell them, not until it was too late.” He shifted, leaning back against the headboard, and faced Coraline. “What happened to them?”

“I finished them,” she said coldly. “They’re gone.”

“Good.” He didn’t ask what she’d done to them – he didn’t really care. He’d wanted to take revenge for Tyler himself, but all that truly mattered was that his friend’s killers were dead. And Mick hadn’t done all that badly in the fight - he’d managed to kill one vamp and stake another before he’d been brought down. But I still would have died without Coraline’s help, and two of the killers would have gotten away.

“Who were they?” Coraline asked.

“They were the ones who killed Tyler.”

“I thought so. That’s why I was following you . . . I knew you’d be looking for them, and I was afraid you’d go after them on your own.”

“What, you wanted to protect me from myself?”

“Yes,” she whispered, suddenly looking vulnerable. She reached out for his hand, and he let her take it. “I can’t help it. I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you.”

He gripped her hand gently. “I’m glad you were there, anyway.”

“Me too.” She moved to sit beside him, still keeping hold of his hand. “Why did they kill him, Mick? I didn’t think Tyler had any enemies.”

“He didn’t.” Tyler had made friends with everyone, human and vampire alike.

“Then why?”

Mick had been trying to get information from the first vampire when the other two had appeared, silent and deadly. “It had something to do with Tyler’s sire,” he said. That was all he’d found out – no details, no names.

“Who was his sire?”

“I don’t know. He never told me.” She doesn’t want me near her, Tyler had told Mick, his voice sad and regretful. She has enemies in her blood family, and she wants to keep me clear of them. Tyler had never come in contact with his sire in all the time Mick had known him, and he’d pretended to the rest of the vampire world that he was completely estranged from her. But someone, apparently, had known better.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Coraline murmured. “Why didn’t they just go after his sire?”

“Maybe they did that too,” Mick answered. Or maybe they just wanted to hurt her, by destroying someone she loved. Oh God, why did it have to happen? He missed Tyler so much - it hurt so much.

“I know how much you cared about him,” Coraline said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Her sympathy almost undid him. He felt his eyes burning with tears, and he looked away. “Thanks,” he muttered. “Look, I – I’ve got to get a shower. Is that okay?”

“Of course. Mick, this is your home. Any time you want it to be.”

He nodded, pushed himself to his feet, and staggered to the bathroom, stripping off his blood-soaked clothes and leaving them in a heap on the floor. Once in the shower he leaned against the wall, unsteady, letting the cool water pour down on him. His throat and chest were covered with dried blood, and he wondered just how much he’d lost. Almost all of it, I think. He’d felt it pooling around him, there in the alley . . . he scrubbed at the blood and nearly lost his balance, and an instant later Coraline was in the shower with him, still fully clothed, holding him steady and helping him with the soap.

I left her. I never meant to come back to her, not ever. She’s been following me, stalking me.

But she followed me because she loved me. She saved my life today.

The blood was washed away now, he was cool and clean, and Coraline was holding him by the shoulders, looking up into his eyes, her wet hair streaming down her back. She leaned up to him, bringing her mouth to his, and he let her kiss him. A shock of desire went through him then, and he kissed her back, reaching out for her, suddenly desperate for her touch. How had he ever stayed away from her for so long? How?















Mick drove on, thinking of the way he’d gone to Coraline in the shower tonight, of the way he’d kissed her under the stream of water. She was so warm tonight, so different, so human. But I still couldn’t resist her. Why does she have so much power over me? Because she’s my sire?

He surfaced from memories and realized that he’d been driving in a daze, with no idea where he was going. He’d meant to go see Elaine; he’d been heading for her house - but he realized, startled, that he was approaching Josef’s building. Why the hell did I come here? He’d been wondering, uneasily, about Josef’s claim that there was no cure – as old as Josef was, as connected as he was, how could he not have known about it? But Mick wasn’t ready to confront Josef yet, and there was too much else to do. He spun the Mercedes in a U-turn, tires screeching – and then hit the brakes and slammed to a stop. There was a cab waiting in front of the building, and a girl was walking out to it, a young girl with long dark hair. Elaine, in Josef’s building? She hates Josef! Why is she here? Mick flung himself out of the car and ran to intercept her. She glanced up, looking as surprised to see him as he was to see her, and took a step back.

He came to a stop in front of her, and glanced from her to the waiting cab. “Elaine, what’s going on? What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I came to see Josef.”

“But why? You swore you’d never go near him again.”

“Well, I changed my mind.” Elaine lifted her chin, with a stubborn look that reminded him, achingly, of Beth. “I’ve been angry with him forever, and the moron didn’t even know why. So I decided to tell him.”

She’s carried a grudge against Josef since 1967, and she wants to settle it now? Frightened, Mick caught her hands and said, “Talk to me. Please.”

“I told him why I was angry. That’s it.” She pulled her hands away, crossing her arms in front of her.

The cab driver leaned out his window and yelled, “Lady, are you taking this cab or not?”

“When I’m ready!” Elaine shouted back. “Just keep the meter running; what do you care?”

Muttering, the driver subsided. Mick said, “There’s more to it than that.”

Elaine wasn’t listening to him. She started for the cab, but Mick caught her arm and held her back, and she swung around to face him. “Let go, Mick,” she said, her voice flat.

“Just give me a minute. Please, Elaine. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Is it really that important?”

“Yes.”

She sighed. “Oh, all right. But only because Kostan’s paying for the taxi.” She followed him into the shadow of the building, far enough from the cab that the driver wouldn’t be able to hear them. “What is it, then?”

“I told you I thought I saw Coraline a while back, remember?”

“Sure.”

“Well, it really was her. And she really was human. There’s a cure, Elaine. A way back - a way to be human again.”

“It really was Coraline?” Elaine looked thoughtful. “So she didn’t get trapped in that fire after all.”

“Elaine, didn’t you hear me? There’s a cure!”

“So? Why would I care?”

“You could be human again! You could have your life back, you could leave all this darkness behind. Please, don’t give up, not now. Just give me time to find this cure.”

“You think I could have my life back?” Elaine’s voice was suddenly ice cold. “If I was human, would that bring Chloe back? Would it save Kevin’s life? Would it change anything at all that’s happened?”

Mick took a stumbling step away from her, dismayed. Elaine sat down abruptly on the ground, her back to the wall, staring out at nothing. Silent tears ran down her face.

“Elaine -- ” She looked up at him miserably, and he sank to the ground beside her. If she doesn’t want the cure, I’ve got nothing to offer her. No way to stop her. No way to make her want to live. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I wanted to help.”

“I know. But Mick . . . I don’t think there’s any way you can.” After a moment she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder, and he folded her into his arms, hardly able to breathe, afraid that any touch of his might break her. She’s so fragile, so damaged. She’s falling into pieces. He touched her hair, very lightly, and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. He’d never felt closer to her, and at the same time she’d never seemed so far away. She barely seemed attached, any more, to either world, vampire or human.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Have you seen Logan lately?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t pull away from him as she usually did, but simply lay in his arms. “Just before he took off. He said you finally remembered to pay him.”

“Well, yeah, of course I paid him. He only had to mention it once or twice.”

“Once or twice?” Elaine said skeptically.

“Or maybe six times,” Mick said. “Hey, I’ve been busy, okay? Where’d he go?”

“Atlanta. Gaming con.”

“You ever go to one of those?”

“A few. Lots of weirdos.”

Mick smiled. “I’ll bet.”

“You find that kid yet?”

“No. I’m not getting anywhere with that.”

“But you’re getting on with Beth okay?”

He sighed, wondering how to answer that.

“Guess that’s a no.” Elaine lifted her head from his shoulder and looked up at him. “What’s going on?”

“Like I said, Coraline’s back.”

“So . . . Beth saw Coraline, and remembered everything, and freaked out?”

Close enough. “That’s pretty much it.”

“What happened then?”

“Beth attacked Coraline. Just walked right up to her and drove a stake into her chest.” He shook his head, still scarcely able to believe it. “Coraline’s still alive, and they’re operating on her, but they don’t know if she’ll survive. Beth may have killed her.”

Elaine frowned. “How was Beth supposed to know she was human? Did you tell her?”

“No, but -- ”

“Then for all she knew, she staked a vampire. Big deal, Mick! I’m surprised she didn’t do more than that, after what Coraline did to her back then.”

“But Coraline didn’t hurt her. I mean - she was planning to, yes, but she didn’t. There wasn’t a mark on Beth when I found her.”

“Do you really believe that?” Elaine looked at him in astonishment. “Do you know what Beth’s nightmares have been like?”

“Well, I – I saw her wake up from one, once.” Mick felt himself floundering. He’d never expected a reaction like this from Elaine.

“Before she remembered everything?”

“Well, yeah.”

“I saw her wake up from one the other day,” Elaine said. “After she remembered. She was screaming for you. Screaming for help. But in her dream, you weren’t there. You were with Coraline, and you didn’t save her.”

“How did you -- ”

“Beth brought a friend to Saint John’s, and I saw her in the waiting room,” Elaine said impatiently. “God, Mick, how can you even imagine that Coraline didn’t hurt her? What do you think it was like for her? Being ripped away from her family, locked up where she couldn’t escape, getting tormented for days . . . ” She paused. “Where did Coraline keep her?”

“I - I don’t know,” Mick said, dazed. “At her Hollywood house, I guess.”

“Go there,” Elaine said. “Find out what it was really like for Beth.”

“It’s been too long,” Mick protested. “It’ll have faded away.”

Elaine shook her head. “No, it won’t. Not for you. Not with the connection you have, not with how frightened she was.” She took his hands in both of hers. “Go there. Tonight.”

“Okay. I will.”

“Good.” Elaine squeezed his hands gently. “You never change, you know that? Coraline turns up in your life again, and you can’t see straight. You get protective of her, you remember how much you loved her, and you forget the most basic things in the world.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh yeah? You’re acting all horrified about what Beth did to Coraline. Did you forget what you did to Coraline? You did a lot more than just stake a vamp, as I remember.”

“I did that to save Beth,” he said, stung.

“Why do you think Beth did it?”

“Because -- ” Mick fell silent. Beth dreamed that I wasn’t there to save her. She was all alone. She kissed me on the roof, she opened her heart to me - and I walked away from her. Who could save her then, besides herself?

Elaine let go of his hands and got to her feet, and he stood up beside her. The cab was still waiting, its engine idling, its meter undoubtedly ticking over.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Mick said quietly.

“You never do, when Coraline’s around. But you know what? As miserable as Beth was when I saw her, as terrified as she was, she still came out and said she loved you.”

“She told you that?” Mick’s heart was suddenly racing like a human’s.

“Well.” Elaine smirked a little. “She did think she was opening up to a total stranger. She had no idea that I would actually know what she was talking about.”

She said she loved me? “Did she – did she say anything else?”

“Mick, I can’t give away all her secrets. You’ll have to find out everything else from Beth, won’t you?” Elaine eyed the taxi, and gave a wistful sigh. “Much as I’d like to keep the meter running for the rest of the night, on Kostan’s tab - I have to go.”

She walked quickly to the cab and got inside, not looking back. Mick watched her go, his heart aching, and didn’t turn away until the cab was out of sight.

















He hadn’t been to Coraline’s house for years, and the dark glass of the windows looked blank and empty. The house brought back memories, a flood of images and voices . . . Coraline’s eyes in the candlelight, her hands tracing his body, her voice whispering his name. Shakily he pulled his lockpicks out of his coat pocket - he’d thrown away his key long ago, never thinking he’d be back. As he forced the lock he caught Beth’s scent, and realized with a shock that she’d been here this very day. And she’s not the only one. Coraline was here today, too. Mick slipped through the front door, looking around at the white-shrouded furniture, nervously taking one breath after another. When had Coraline come here? Before he’d met her at the restaurant, or later, while he was unconscious? Had she been following Beth? And how did Beth find out about this house?

Mick followed the trail of Beth’s scent through the upper levels, down the stairs, and into a little basement room. He flipped the light switch and stared in shock at a room that had been made up to be a little girl’s fantasy. Ballerinas, unicorns, tea-sets, stuffed animals, everything pink and covered in lace. He drew a breath and nearly fell, jolted to the core by pain and fear. Oh God, Elaine was right. It’s still here, even after all this time. The little girl kept prisoner here had been terrified, and Mick could hear Coraline’s voice again, but it was a very different voice now, cloying and much too sweet. You’ll never see your old mommy or daddy again. Not ever. But that’s okay, because I'll be your new mommy, and you'll have a new daddy too. He could feel the little girl’s utter despair - she was trapped, with no way to escape whatever her captor had planned. And he could feel the adult Beth’s fear, he could see her sitting on the bed clutching a stuffed bear, memories washing over her and tormenting her. The pain turned to fury as he watched. Beth rose, her face set, and picked up a child’s small chair. Silently she smashed it, then lifted one of the wooden shards in her hand, staring at the stake she had made.

Mick surfaced from the vision, holding out a hand to steady himself against the wall. There was the chair, lying in pieces by a table dressed up for a tea party, and that was where Beth had gotten the stake. Accident, he heard Coraline say. My house. He dropped to his knees and bent over the broken chair, running his hand across a jagged edge of wood.

If anyone did investigate Coraline’s injury, they’d find this chair - a perfect match to the piece of wood that had been embedded in her chest. Coraline could say that she’d fallen, that the chair had broken under her.

She knew about this chair.

She must have come here after Beth did.

Unless she was here at the same time. Unless she was watching.

Mick felt chilled at the thought. But that couldn’t be right, could it? If Coraline had been watching, she’d have known about Beth’s crazed fury, about her stake. She’d never have let Beth walk up to her and stab her. Would she?

He got to his feet, backing away from the broken chair, and stumbled against the bed. The stuffed bear lay on the covers, where Beth had dropped it. She was so strong when I found her, so brave. I never realized how badly she’d been frightened. But it was all here, in this room, the emotions so strong that they still hadn’t faded away. I have to get out of here. I can’t bear this.

Mick ran, up the stairs and through the upper rooms, out the front door and into the clean night air. He drove away as fast as he could, but Beth’s pain still clung to him, and he could feel everything that she had felt.

Beth, oh Beth. I’m sorry.


















At home, Mick showered yet again, but he couldn’t wash away the memory of that room. He changed into clean clothes, then picked up Coraline’s discarded clothing from the floor and put it away, out of sight. Not even three hours had gone by yet; she’d still be in surgery. Mick went back downstairs, pausing at the spot where Beth had staked Coraline, and his senses went off, replaying the scene. Beth, driven mad with fury and despair. Coraline, calm and purposeful until the stake went in. The thrust of wood into flesh, horror and vengeance and pain. Mick pulled himself free of it, hurried down the rest of the stairs, and almost stepped on one of the photographs from Beth’s file. He’d dropped the folder when it had happened, and the glossy photos were scattered across the dark wood of the floor.

He knelt to retrieve them, then slowly spread them out in front of him. There he was with Beth, out in the street searching for Leni – Coraline was watching? – there they were headed into Greenies, Mick with his phone to his ear – how? How did she know I’d be there? There was Beth, smiling over Mick’s shoulder at Club Vallis. Mick felt suddenly afraid. He’d never known that Coraline had been there, he’d never known that she’d been watching. Had she been human then? Was that why he hadn’t sensed her? The last photograph paralyzed him as if a stake had been driven into him: it showed him carrying Beth away from the wrecked car, the air full of smoke, Beth’s head on his shoulder. His own expression was far away; he’d been remembering the last time he’d carried her in his arms, when she was a child. The moment had been transcendent, the real beginning of a new life that had Beth in it.

And Coraline had been there in the shadows, watching, waiting. Planning. Mick put a hand to his mouth and backed away from the photographs. Her plots were intricate, byzantine. She’d planned all of this, for reasons he couldn’t even imagine. I love her, I hate her. She saves my life, she wants to destroy me. Have I ever really known her? She must hate me for what I did to her, whatever she said tonight. He and Beth had both played into her hands, doing exactly what she’d wanted them to do. No, that’s mad. She couldn’t have wanted Beth to stake her! But Mick remembered the way she’d taunted Beth, standing there on the stairs dressed in nothing but his shirt, as if daring Beth to attack. Had she known that Beth was approaching her with a stake in her hand? I think she did. I don’t know why, but she wanted it. She manipulated Beth, she used her. And, God help me, she used me.

















There was a taxi waiting outside Beth’s apartment, and when Mick arrived in her hallway she was there, her back to him, closing her door behind her.

“Beth.”

She turned, startled, and froze when she saw him. “Mick.”

“Where are you going?”

“I was going to go back to the hospital. I thought you’d be there.”

“I needed to talk to you.”

She had changed clothes too, and pulled her hair back. Her eyes were red and swollen. She looked so dejected, he couldn’t help reaching out to her, but she flinched away from his touch. “I’m sorry,” he said, letting his hand fall to his side. “I just – look, can we go inside for a minute?”

“I guess so.” She opened the door again, let him pass inside, and then closed it. She sat down on the couch, hands on her knees, and waited. He settled on one of the chairs, shifting restlessly, wondering how to begin.

“She’s like a drug to me,” he said at last. “Something I don’t know how to resist.”

“That’s what Josef said,” Beth murmured.

“You talked to Josef?”

Beth nodded. She reached for her bag, opened an inner pocket, and pulled out an old photograph. “I showed him this. I found it in Morgan’s loft.”

Mick took the picture from her hand. It was another one he’d never known about – in it he was playing guitar with his band, on the porch of Coraline’s Hollywood house, on the very day he’d met her. He felt dizzy looking at it. It’s my last moment without Coraline, in black and white. That moment had been the cusp between a normal life and the dark world he lived in now. Still staring at the picture, he said, “Josef told you where the house was, didn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“I went by tonight. For the first time since -- ” How long had it been? He couldn’t remember. “I saw that room. Where she kept you. I felt it. I felt what it was like for you, what she did to you.”

Beth was trembling. “She was Coraline. I knew she was, and you said she was. And she hadn’t aged. She had to be a vampire. I thought she was hiding that from you somehow, the way she hid her tattoo.” Beth put her face in her hands, then looked back up at him. “When I was thinking at all, I thought of that. But I wasn’t thinking much. It was like I was going mad. I really believed she was a vampire, I didn’t mean to kill her. But if I’d known she was human – Mick, I might still have done the same thing.”

“She made you crazy,” Mick said, taking the admission she’d offered him, and letting it go. He knew exactly how she’d felt, exactly how crazed she’d been; he’d felt it himself in that nightmare of a room.

“And I couldn’t stand it,” Beth whispered. “That you’d slept with her.”

“I didn’t,” Mick said. “I know how it looked, but I didn’t.”

Beth lowered her eyes. “You have before.”

“Yes. She was my wife, Beth. But the last time was before you were born.”

“It was?”

“Yes. But -- ” He had to tell her all of it, to reciprocate for the painful confession she’d given him. “Beth, I wasn’t thinking either. It could have happened tonight. It might have, if you hadn’t knocked.”

“What did happen?” Beth asked tonelessly.

“We’d both gotten covered in blood, so I let her take a shower at my place. And – and I went to her in the shower, I kissed her, I saw the tattoo and I knew it was really her. And then I was asking her about the cure, about how she’d turned human, and that was when you knocked. But I honestly don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t.”

Beth was silent for a moment, taking in his admission, while he stared down at his hands. When she finally spoke, she said, “Covered in blood? How did that happen?”

“My case turned complicated, and somebody had a gun.” He cautiously touched the back of his head. He could still feel a welt; it hadn’t quite healed. “I’m not even sure who shot me. Probably the wife. That’s where all the blood came from. Coraline found me where they’d buried me.”

“You were unconscious that long?” Beth said, shocked.

“Yeah. A couple of hours, I think.”

“But how could it take that long for you to heal?”

“I got hit in the back of the head. If it had been a larger caliber weapon, well – something like that can qualify as beheading. It’s not a good place for a vamp to get shot.”

Beth had gone very pale. “I was so angry,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t even talk to you. I wasn’t there, and she was.”

“Beth -- ”

“I should have been there.”

“It wasn’t a big deal.”

“You nearly died!”

“But I didn’t.”

“Oh, Mick.” She started to cry, and after a moment Mick moved to sit beside her on the couch. She reached out for him, and he held her, his breath catching as he felt her relax against him, her body pressed close. She trusts me again. As bad as this is, we’ll get through it. Somehow. He forgot about Coraline, about the cure, about Josef and Elaine. Nothing existed in the world except his Beth. He felt her hands clasped tight around his neck, and when the tears stopped and she finally let go of him, he kept one arm around her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“So am I.”

“I just can’t stop thinking of it. That I almost lost you, just like that. I never realized, I never thought that an ordinary bullet could kill a vampire.”

“It can. But it hardly ever happens.”

“Have you ever seen it happen?”

Only in my nightmares. He’d gone to the scene, later, and breathed it in, and sometimes he wished that he hadn’t. “No,” he said. “But I lost a friend that way.”

“A vampire?”

“Yeah. Tyler.” He held out his right hand to her, showing her his ring. “I told you about him, a little. This used to be his.”

“I remember.” Beth touched the ring, brushing her fingers across it. “He was important to you.”

“Yes.”

“How did it happen?”

“He was murdered. By vampires. They set it up so that it looked like a human crime.”

“And you weren’t there?”

“No. I wish I had been.” Could he have seen it coming, done anything to stop it? He’d never know.

Mick’s phone rang, startling them both, and he let go of Beth to pull it from his pocket. The call was from Saint John’s, and he froze for an instant, afraid to find out the news. Beth stared at the display, her face suddenly set and grim, and the phone rang again. Mick glanced at Beth, then answered it. “Mick St. John.”

“Mr. St. John, this is Dr. Duffy. I’m calling about Morgan Vincent.”

Mick could barely find his voice. “How is she?”

“She just came out of surgery. She’s stable at the moment, but still critical.”

She’s still alive. Still holding on. “Will she be okay?” he asked.

“It’s much too soon to tell.”

“I want to see her.”

“She can’t have visitors yet, but if you come back to the hospital in about an hour, you can probably have a moment with her.”

“Okay. I’m on my way.”

Mick shoved the phone back in his pocket. Beth looked up at him, her eyes haunted, and said, “What did they say?”

“She made it through surgery. That’s a good sign.”

“But they don’t know if she’ll live, do they.”

“No.” She turned away, and he said, “Beth, it wasn’t your fault.”

“I stabbed her! Whose fault do you think it was?”

“I don’t know.” Should he tell her his suspicions about Coraline, that she might have planned the whole thing? Or would it be even worse for Beth to know she’d been manipulated? I can’t tell her - I’m not even sure if it’s true. “Maybe it’s her fault, for what she did to you. Maybe it’s mine. If I’d told you everything, a long time ago, it wouldn’t have hit you all at once like this, and maybe this never would have happened.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He hesitated. Finally he said, low, “I was afraid I’d lose you if I did.”

“Oh.” She looked down at the floor, and was silent for a long time. “I guess that’s what I’ve been afraid of too,” she said at last. “Losing you.”

“To Coraline.”

“Yes.” Beth rubbed her eyes, brushing away tears. “I asked Josef why Coraline came back. What she wanted. He said that if she was back, she was here for you.”

For me. Mick put his head in his hands, knowing it was true. Everything she’d done had been meant, somehow, to bring him back to her. She kidnapped Beth to try to give me a family. But why, why, would she want Beth to stake her? Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe she didn’t plan that at all.

But what exactly had happened, following that staking? Mick thought it through. He had clung to Coraline, holding her, helping her, worrying about her every moment. He’d been utterly horrified by what Beth had done. In my eyes, Coraline became the victim, and Beth became the monster. Was that Coraline’s plan? To drive me away from Beth, and back into her arms?

If it was – well, this time, it wasn’t going to work. Mick put his hands on Beth’s shoulders, thinking of the gift she’d given him on his rooftop, and leaned over to kiss her cheek. Whatever happens, Beth, you won’t ever lose me. She gazed up at him in wonder, and he moved his hands to her face and touched his lips to hers. He felt her hesitant response, and he kissed her gently again, stroking a wisp of hair back from her temple. Then, reluctantly, he drew away from her.

“I’m not going back to Coraline,” he said softly. “I have a history with her. A long history, and it can't be changed. But I’m never going back to her again. Never. I can promise you that.”

“You’re going to go see her. At the hospital.” Beth’s eyes were downcast.

“I have to.”

“Because she has this cure?”

“I have to find out what it is.”

She nodded. “Is it all right if I come with you?”

He took her hands and got up, helping her to her feet, and he kept an arm around her while they walked out to his car. As the Mercedes moved through the streets, and night gave way to the gray before dawn, Beth stayed huddled close to him, and Mick could almost believe that everything between them had been healed. But when he parked the car, and they walked toward the hospital entrance, he could feel her slipping away from him again, starting to drift back into her old fears.

He reached out for her, and she let him take her hand. His touch seemed to reassure her, and after a moment, she gripped him more tightly. They walked hand in hand across the parking lot, under the fading gloom of security lights, as the sky slowly lightened around them. In the shadows near the entrance, Mick saw Elaine sitting under a tree, silently watching them pass. There was a wistful smile on her face.

Beth told Elaine that she loved me.

And Elaine told me about it, instead of saying it was impossible. That has to count for something.

But when Mick led Beth through the glass doors of the hospital, into the building where Coraline lay, Beth shivered and let go of his hand.

His secret had once stood between them, keeping them apart. Beth had accepted the vampire - but could she ever really accept Coraline, and what she’d meant to Mick?

And when he saw Coraline again, would he be able to resist her? This wasn’t the first time he’d sworn to stay away from her, and it hadn’t worked before.

This time it will, he told himself firmly. This time, it’s different.

This time I have Beth in my life.

“There’s the information desk,” Beth said hesitantly. “What was the doctor’s name?”

“Duffy,” Mick said.

“Right.” Beth swallowed, squared her shoulders, and strode toward the desk.

Mick took a deep breath, and followed her.
















_

[lorig]

I was wondering about an update!

That was incredible. I love how Elaine was able to make Mick see how Beth was effected by Coraline...ans she let it slip that Beth loves Mick...

The talk between Mick and Beth was great. Well done shadow...

[jen]

Shadow

This is wonderful supplementation of what we will soon see on the CW as Moonlight runs.

It has always bothered me that there is so much between the episodes that was not explained and you are doing such a magnificent job of filling in the blanks. This was especially nice.

Thank you!

Jenna

[Shadow]

I was wondering about an update!

That was incredible. I love how Elaine was able to make Mick see how Beth was effected by Coraline...ans she let it slip that Beth loves Mick...

The talk between Mick and Beth was great. Well done shadow...

It has been far too long since the last update .... I'm so glad you were still looking for one!
Thanks so much, lorig.

[Shadow]

Shadow

This is wonderful supplementation of what we will soon see on the CW as Moonlight runs.

It has always bothered me that there is so much between the episodes that was not explained and you are doing such a magnificent job of filling in the blanks. This was especially nice.

Thank you!

Jenna

I probably won't be able to keep up with the CW showings any more but I was glad to be able to get this one up in time!

Thanks Jenna!

[aolver]

I sat for a while trying to decide what to post, but I just can't say how brilliant your "fill in the blank" episodes have been. It's like having more episodes of our show, the way it should have been. I love every chapter, and they are only getting better as the plot of Moonlight thickens. Thank you for continuing this amazing series. Karen

[allegrita]

Shadow, your In Between stories add so much depth and emotion to the episodes. You never cease to amaze me with the way you find a way to bridge the space between each one, the passion and beauty you lend to these characters, and the sympathy with which you portray them. The side story of Mick and Elaine is weaving through their pasts and tangling in the present day in a dramatic and profound way. I wish I had words to say how this series makes me feel, but I find myself typing and then deleting because I can't find a way to express it. I guess I'll just say thank you... and tell you that I feel that your stories have enriched my experience of Moonlight.

[Shadow]

I sat for a while trying to decide what to post, but I just can't say how brilliant your "fill in the blank" episodes have been. It's like having more episodes of our show, the way it should have been. I love every chapter, and they are only getting better as the plot of Moonlight thickens. Thank you for continuing this amazing series. Karen

And thank you for the amazing comments that help me keep doing these!!

( It helps so much - I don't think I quite realized what I was getting into when I started this series.... )

It is so wonderful that you can see these as extra episodes. Thank you, Karen.

[Shadow]

Shadow, your In Between stories add so much depth and emotion to the episodes. You never cease to amaze me with the way you find a way to bridge the space between each one, the passion and beauty you lend to these characters, and the sympathy with which you portray them. The side story of Mick and Elaine is weaving through their pasts and tangling in the present day in a dramatic and profound way. I wish I had words to say how this series makes me feel, but I find myself typing and then deleting because I can't find a way to express it. I guess I'll just say thank you... and tell you that I feel that your stories have enriched my experience of Moonlight.

I don't know if I have the words to answer either, allegrita . . . that's simply amazing to hear. And so very motivating. I really love that Elaine's story works so well for you, and fits into the Moonlight story. I couldn't ask for better encouragement to get on with the next part!

[wpgrace]

Oh my. This one had me tearing up, which rarely happens with me... but OMG, he is dealing with so much here!!!! With Tyler, and Elaine, and his feelings for Cora, with what happened to Cora, with what he suspects about Cora, and then with Beth, with what she did, what she's been thru, why she did it, and what she revealed to our beloved Elaine. His own confessions, to himself and to Beth, were so emotion-packed!!! And at the very end that little bit of self doubt... WILL he be able to stay away from Cora this time, as he's promised? God bless him, he doesn't really for sure know!

WHAT a full story within the story this chapter turned out to be!
ANd how gratifying for us, to see this, to read this, to have this to hold onto as the ep approaches this week. Your stories make the episodes SO much more meaningful and, in many respects, they make so much more sense as well.

And his relationship with Elaine is so complicated and beautiful and troubled... I really wish she had been on the show. The moments they have together are so incredibly rich on the page, I would SO love to have had the chance to see them on the screen.

[Shadow]

Oh my. This one had me tearing up, which rarely happens with me... but OMG, he is dealing with so much here!!!! With Tyler, and Elaine, and his feelings for Cora, with what happened to Cora, with what he suspects about Cora, and then with Beth, with what she did, what she's been thru, why she did it, and what she revealed to our beloved Elaine. His own confessions, to himself and to Beth, were so emotion-packed!!! And at the very end that little bit of self doubt... WILL he be able to stay away from Cora this time, as he's promised? God bless him, he doesn't really for sure know!

WHAT a full story within the story this chapter turned out to be!
ANd how gratifying for us, to see this, to read this, to have this to hold onto as the ep approaches this week. Your stories make the episodes SO much more meaningful and, in many respects, they make so much more sense as well.

And his relationship with Elaine is so complicated and beautiful and troubled... I really wish she had been on the show. The moments they have together are so incredibly rich on the page, I would SO love to have had the chance to see them on the screen.

I was really happy that I got this chapter finished in time for the CW airing! It took so long to do this one, it was kind of a close thing.

Poor Mick, he is dealing with a lot . . . and it will probably only get worse for the next couple of chapters, too.

I sooo adore what you said about Elaine. How cool that you could imagine her being in the show!!

Thank you, Grace!

[wpgrace]

You know, that show needed more female vamps. Elaine would've been a wonderful counterpoint to the Coras and the Lolas and the Cleaners...

[Shadow]

You know, that show needed more female vamps. Elaine would've been a wonderful counterpoint to the Coras and the Lolas and the Cleaners...

Elaine would indeed have been quite a contrast to all those powerful, confident beauties! And surely all vampire women wouldn't have been that way .....

[redwinter101]

I finally had a chance to read and savour this - oh it's wonderful, Shadow - and it makes me wish with all my heart that the show had taken more time over these moments - because the journey from A to B is often more important than the destination.

There is an ache of regret and wistfulness and a sense of being caught in a maelstrom that neither Mick nor Beth can quite break free from completely. I loved that Elaine made Mick see sense, and the scene where he goes to Coraline's house was incredibly powerful. But it is his self-examination that really gets to me - with each encounter (through all the years) he DOES learn something new about Coraline, his reaction to her and the effect she has on him, and that finally is leading toward the point of acceptance that we see when she gives him the cure.

But it's a hard, hard road; although just a little easier now that he isn't travelling it alone.

So beautiful, honey - really.

Red

[Shadow]

I finally had a chance to read and savour this - oh it's wonderful, Shadow - and it makes me wish with all my heart that the show had taken more time over these moments - because the journey from A to B is often more important than the destination.

There is an ache of regret and wistfulness and a sense of being caught in a maelstrom that neither Mick nor Beth can quite break free from completely. I loved that Elaine made Mick see sense, and the scene where he goes to Coraline's house was incredibly powerful. But it is his self-examination that really gets to me - with each encounter (through all the years) he DOES learn something new about Coraline, his reaction to her and the effect she has on him, and that finally is leading toward the point of acceptance that we see when she gives him the cure.

But it's a hard, hard road; although just a little easier now that he isn't travelling it alone.

So beautiful, honey - really.

Red

I wanted so much for the show to take more time for moments like these, too..... Wouldn't longer episodes have been lovely?

It did feel to me as if Mick and Beth were in something of a maelstrom at this time in the show, with events spiraling around them, most of them out of their control. I'm glad that came across in this story ....

Thanks so much, Red.