Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

A place for Shadow's G to PG-13 stories
User avatar
bluedahlia3
Rogue vampire
Posts: 1022
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:30 am
Location: Strolling down a foggy street, collar popped up, emoting cigarette smoke

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by bluedahlia3 »

I loved this. So human...I know a simple comment but in so many ways you showed us his humanity. And how he and Beth are so right for each other. So intertwined. Lovely dialogue, just lovely. Touching. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
"I'm only wearing black until they come up with something darker." LaCroix
Forever grateful to Trevor Munson for his gift.
User avatar
redwinter101
100% Moonlightaholic
Posts: 23759
Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:19 am
Location: lost in Moonlight, forever

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by redwinter101 »

I'm positive I will, Shadow.

I have adored this story SO much.

Red
Image

Click here for my story index

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" - Emily Dickinson
ash
Logan's WoW nemesis
Posts: 778
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:24 pm
Location: Trying juggle, homework, uni, a social life, rp and writing things that get stuck in my head. Tough

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by ash »

I enjoyed this. Mick always blames himself too much, though his guilt is proof he has a consious and knows the results of his actions. i hope he sees his sister
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

Thanks so much for reading this, bluedahlia and ash.

I wanted to show how different it would be for Mick to be human, and emphasize that, so that simple comment means a lot.

And I guess he really wouldn't be Mick if he didn't blame himself too much .....
User avatar
starbucksjunkie
Logan's WoW nemesis
Posts: 502
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:51 pm
Location: Home drinking my own Starbucks and watching my DVDs. There's a recession on!

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by starbucksjunkie »

What a beautiful, beautiful story.

I, too loved the war-vampire analogy. What an unusual way of looking at things.

Thank you so much for sharing your talent with us!
Last edited by starbucksjunkie on Wed Mar 04, 2009 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image

"There is a degree to which . . . all literature, highbrow or low, from the Aeneid onward, is fan fiction . . . retelling and reimagining the stories that were told before us and that we have come of age loving--amateurs--we proceed, seeking out the blank places in the map that our favorite writers . . . have left for us . . ." -- Michael Chabon, Maps and Legends
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

Thanks so much, Nikki. It was wonderful to know you'd come back for another read. With all the great new stories out there it's really special when someone comes back for a second time!
NocturneInCMoll
Logan's WoW nemesis
Posts: 987
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 8:27 pm
Location: British Columbia

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by NocturneInCMoll »

Fantastic--I can't wait to go read the sequel, so that's all I'll say. ;)
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

Thanks so much Julie. Delighted to see you going on to the next one!
User avatar
Luxe de Luxe
Sire
Posts: 3285
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 2:50 pm

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Luxe de Luxe »

that wasn't an end, Shadow, it was more like entree!

a truly, beautifully written, history of Mick. I love the fact that his pendant is from his sister.
Image
Banner by the talented Hot Micks
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

Luxe de Luxe wrote:that wasn't an end, Shadow, it was more like entree!

a truly, beautifully written, history of Mick. I love the fact that his pendant is from his sister.

Thank you so much - this story is rather special to me and I'm really glad you liked it!

Sorry about the ending :biggrin: - but there's now more of the story in "The Other Side of the Mirror."
User avatar
draco
Logan's WoW nemesis
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:09 pm

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by draco »

Oh, I can, at last, see a light at the end of his too dark tunnel!!! I know it won't be easy to meet Rosie, but i truly believe it will be worth every pain. and with Beth to support him, he can face the next stony part of his way :hug:
User avatar
allegrita
Moonlightaholic Admin
Posts: 45960
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 9:22 am
Location: Snuggled under the brown afghan, watching the fire

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by allegrita »

Wow--what a wonderful ending to a wonderful story. I want to say first that I like the fact that this ending is actually more like a threshold. It's an ending that lets us readers imagine the things that will come next, and to me that's the best kind of ending. This one situation is resolved, and a whole new world of possibility has opened to Mick. And that world includes Beth and, maybe, Rosie. It's wonderful, and wonderfully done. You are really an excellent writer. :rose:

I was struck by the way you used heat and cold, light and dark to show the differences between Mick's feelings about being a monster, cut off from everyone by his instincts, and his dawning belief that he could be connected again, that he could begin to live. Such lovely parallels with things that were used on the show, too--such as the dawn conversation in 12:04AM. Back then, Mick couldn't believe in the light. In your story, he's beginning to be able to love being alive again. Not just human--the end of your story feels like a dawning of Mick's acceptance of himself as a total being--a man who is a vampire. And I love Beth teasing him about wearing his humanity well, bringing us back to that lovely moment in B.C. It's just the kind of moment I can see between Mick and Beth, a little levity to lighten the mood after such a deeply emotional conversation.

Your comparison of vampirism to war worked so well, and and is unique--at least I've never seen anyone else use it. For someone like Mick, whose psychic war wounds were still so raw, it makes perfect sense. Especially in the early stages, when he was so much a victim of his urges, unable to resist them--and Coraline either couldn't or wouldn't help him figure out how to be a more compassionate predator, so to speak. I love the way you describe Josef, too. He has such a small role in this story, but his influence looms very large (as it did in the show). Nicely done!

Getting back to Mick's relationship with Coraline, I can see her being bewildered with his reaction to what he had become, and not understanding how to handle him other than to just tough it out and try not to let him figure out how to kill himself. I agree with you that Mick might very likely have been suicidal for quite a while after being turned--especially if he'd done what he did in your story. The image of him trying desperately to end his existence and only giving up because it made him do even more of what he was trying to avoid--I found it truly heartbreaking, so desperately sad. Poor Mick. :bmoon:

I also love the way you introduced the fleury cross. It always struck me as odd that Mick wore something so obviously French, and I hoped that the show would have a chance to explain where Mick's jewelry came from...but yours is a wonderfully simple explanation--and the simple, reasonable ones are always the best. And it's so very like Mick to wear that pendant all those years to remind himself both of his sister's love for him, and of his own horrible actions and basic monstrosity. :Mickangel:

Last of all, I want to thank you for your vision of Beth--for her generosity of spirit, her empathy with Mick, her vitality, and her courage. This is the Beth I see, as well; and for all her faults and foibles, I believe this generosity is the essence of Beth. She pushes Mick just enough to make him take the steps he really wants to take--but is afraid to try. She is his courage. She's his light in the darkness, his warmth in the cold. They really do make a great team. :hearts:

I apologize for such long-winded comments--but this story really affected me!

Edited to fix an awkward sentence.
Image
User avatar
bluedahlia3
Rogue vampire
Posts: 1022
Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 1:30 am
Location: Strolling down a foggy street, collar popped up, emoting cigarette smoke

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Just back for a re-read. Great job shadow. You have crafted a perfect way to create an ending and a beginning, all in one. Very nice, skillful. :flowers:
"I'm only wearing black until they come up with something darker." LaCroix
Forever grateful to Trevor Munson for his gift.
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

draco wrote:Oh, I can, at last, see a light at the end of his too dark tunnel!!! I know it won't be easy to meet Rosie, but i truly believe it will be worth every pain. and with Beth to support him, he can face the next stony part of his way :hug:
thanks so much draco, and it's great to see that you went right on to the next one! :hearts:
User avatar
Shadow
Courtesan
Posts: 2636
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 8:09 am

Re: Rose and Thorn - part 4 (PG)

Post by Shadow »

allegrita wrote:Wow--what a wonderful ending to a wonderful story. I want to say first that I like the fact that this ending is actually more like a threshold. It's an ending that lets us readers imagine the things that will come next, and to me that's the best kind of ending. This one situation is resolved, and a whole new world of possibility has opened to Mick. And that world includes Beth and, maybe, Rosie. It's wonderful, and wonderfully done. You are really an excellent writer. :rose:

I was struck by the way you used heat and cold, light and dark to show the differences between Mick's feelings about being a monster, cut off from everyone by his instincts, and his dawning belief that he could be connected again, that he could begin to live. Such lovely parallels with things that were used on the show, too--such as the dawn conversation in 12:04AM. Back then, Mick couldn't believe in the light. In your story, he's beginning to be able to love being alive again. Not just human--the end of your story feels like a dawning of Mick's acceptance of himself as a total being--a man who is a vampire. And I love Beth teasing him about wearing his humanity well, bringing us back to that lovely moment in B.C. It's just the kind of moment I can see between Mick and Beth, a little levity to lighten the mood after such a deeply emotional conversation.

Your comparison of vampirism to war worked so well, and and is unique--at least I've never seen anyone else use it. For someone like Mick, whose psychic war wounds were still so raw, it makes perfect sense. Especially in the early stages, when he was so much a victim of his urges, unable to resist them--and Coraline either couldn't or wouldn't help him figure out how to be a more compassionate predator, so to speak. I love the way you describe Josef, too. He has such a small role in this story, but his influence looms very large (as it did in the show). Nicely done!

Getting back to Mick's relationship with Coraline, I can see her being bewildered with his reaction to what he had become, and not understanding how to handle him other than to just tough it out and try not to let him figure out how to kill himself. I agree with you that Mick might very likely have been suicidal for quite a while after being turned--especially if he'd done what he did in your story. The image of him trying desperately to end his existence and only giving up because it made him do even more of what he was trying to avoid--I found it truly heartbreaking, so desperately sad. Poor Mick. :bmoon:

I also love the way you introduced the fleury cross. It always struck me as odd that Mick wore something so obviously French, and I hoped that the show would have a chance to explain where Mick's jewelry came from...but yours is a wonderfully simple explanation--and the simple, reasonable ones are always the best. And it's so very like Mick to wear that pendant all those years to remind himself both of his sister's love for him, and of his own horrible actions and basic monstrosity. :Mickangel:

Last of all, I want to thank you for your vision of Beth--for her generosity of spirit, her empathy with Mick, her vitality, and her courage. This is the Beth I see, as well; and for all her faults and foibles, I believe this generosity is the essence of Beth. She pushes Mick just enough to make him take the steps he really wants to take--but is afraid to try. She is his courage. She's his light in the darkness, his warmth in the cold. They really do make a great team. :hearts:

I apologize for such long-winded comments--but this story really affected me!

Edited to fix an awkward sentence.





Allegrita, your long comments are simply delightful. Especially on this story, as it's a special one for me....

It was so nice to know that you liked the ending! I don't think too many people did :biggrin: but it always just felt right to me. I liked leaving that world of possibilities open and uncertain.

Josef really does have a far reaching influence, doesn't he? --here I only gave him a couple of lines and he immediately pointed out the vampire/war analogy.

Mick's jewelry - I was so looking forward to learning the stories behind the pendant and ring, sigh. I keep trying to tell myself that maybe it's better that it stayed a mystery, but haven't quite convinced myself yet. I'm glad you liked this explanation for the fleury cross. (I'm still trying to come up with a good theory for the ring - somehow that one seems a lot harder to figure.)

And it's so good to know that you could really see Beth here; for me her character is a lot harder to write and keep hold of than Mick's is.

This story was really a compulsion to write - when I started it I didn't know that Moonlight fan fiction existed, and wasn't expecting to be able to do anything with it or have readers. It still just had to be written. Which makes it particularly good to know how much it could affect you ....
Thank you so much for your long comments! (And for showing me things about the story that I had somehow not seen before - how awesome .....)
Post Reply

Return to “Shadow's Office”