1. Vigil (midnight) - PG

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redwinter101
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1. Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by redwinter101 »

Title: Vigil
Author: redwinter101
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight or any of its characters
Note: this is the first story in the Divine Office series - there is a separate A/N here explaining a bit more - and it takes place at midnight. I realise that's not giving you much info about the actual story, but I'd rather just throw you into it. Sorry.

*************************************************************************************************************


--- Vigil ---

By the fourth night a near-rigor had set in, the intensity of his concentration subsuming everything. He blocked out every smell, sound, touch, ignored hunger, the swelter and clank from the ageing heater, the nurses' soft hands, gentle on his shoulder in their rotation of care. Every offered cup of tea met silence, every question ignored, his senses, his thoughts, all for her.

He only broke from his stony vigil when the doctor came to check and update, to utter his words of warning, his attempt to prepare for the inevitable. But Mick had long realised inevitability was an illusion, subject to the vicissitudes of fate, just like everything else. As he craned harder, nearer, her humanity covered, filled, overwhelmed him. He tuned out the machine noise, a poor replication of the soundtrack of her dying body. The leaden movement of her blood as it struggled to reach the broken and battered parts of her, carving new routes through muscle and tissue where artery and vein no longer functioned; her death, cell by cell, nerve by nerve; the necrotic stench as her body surrendered to injury too severe, too concerted, to fight. Knitting skin and pooling bruise, the sharp, violent advance of creeping infection overpowering the drugs pumping into her. Her repose was strange and unsettling, the reimposition of mortality altering the light within, even as it guttered and failed.

They'd done all they could, the scrubs-suited army assured him; there was no more; it wouldn't be long.

Mick's wounds had long since healed, but in the quiet hours after sunset the memory of their flight surged. Her pain, weakness, a vision to linger and haunt, the price she had paid. A price for wanting him, for saving him, for her disdain for order and consequence, the strictures of her own hierarchy. A heavy price. A mortal price. Four days and four nights since he had carried her here and entrusted her to the care of strangers, beyond his ability to help or comfort. The woman who had killed him, saved him, loved him, betrayed, deceived, sacrificed, her frailty its own devastation to saviour and saved alike.

While Coraline paid her familial dues, Mick's world had moved on, enjoying the briefest fruits of her gift and finding a strange, new acceptance of his place in the world. He had kept up his search, hoping to find her safe, secluded, a check mark on his honour list, a duty discharged. Then he could have gone on, conscience clear without having to venture too close an examination of the emotional morass that was their ever-present companion. When the news came, severe, reliable, he was compelled to act. The bonds of responsibility tied them together and extended further, deeper than he could bear to examine; he had to come. He had to try. He had to allow another step back into her orbit if he were to retain the sense of self that had become his bedrock.

Brought round after another vain attempt to undo the damage wrought by cruel, vengeful hands, she had told them her story, halting, sparse in detail but convincing in its preeminent truth. Suspicions of him as potential assailant turned to sympathy for a man watching his wife die, powerless to help, or so they thought. The rural police officers, more used to dealing with traffic accidents and drunken street fights struggled to comprehend the brutality on vivid display, their righteous indignation on behalf of this broken stranger and her constant, silent husband.

Within the illusory punctuation of time's tick, daylight hidden behind drawn blinds, shift-changes unnoticed, day and night lost their meaning. His world contracted to this small, anonymous room, far from home, comfort, familiarity. This place had a mundane strangeness. An unremarkable, community hospital on the south coast of England, the first place of safety they had found after their escape, each mile by land and sea raising his hopes, comforted by the symbolic separation of a simple strip of ocean. Mick knew they had probably let them get away; they were finished, their ancient, childish vengeance exacted; the order of their arcane world restored.

Another presence intruded. Mick had sensed him, his hours of waiting, present but subtle. Without word or touch Josef took a seat by his side and waited. Mick wrested his gaze from Coraline only to stare at his pallid, trembling hands. "Josef."

A touch on his arm, pressing a flask into his hand. "It's pointless telling you to leave; the least you can do is be strong enough. Be ready."

"You heard the doctor?"

Josef nodded. "What are you going to do?"

Mick moved closer, resting his hand lightly on Coraline's arm. "Give her the one thing she never gave me."

"That's why you've waited?" Mick nodded as Josef rose to leave, pausing at the door, "I'll be here. When it's over."

"It's never over, Josef."

"It can be. If that's what you want." He didn't wait for a response, closing the door behind him, resuming his own vigil.

"This was never about what I want," Mick whispered, glancing to the clock. Soon they would come; it was time.


*****************************


It was the regular night doctor, slow and halting, uncertain how to offer care when only death remained, death and the bereaved. Mick felt his youth, his hesitation, his uncertainty and turned to greet him, "It's okay, I know it's time."

The doctor nodded, mute with relief, falling with ease into an explanation of the procedures, taking refuge in practicality. Her sedation would be lightened and pain relief increased. She would regain consciousness, the appropriate formalities would be observed and then they would be left in peace. It would not take long. She would not suffer. He stumbled over words of sorrow and regret that all their efforts had been in vain but Mick halted him with a smile, "I know. You've done everything you can." She would die tonight. What would come after was still undecided.

He stepped away as the doctor worked, injected, adjusted, checked, taking her hand, stroking gently as he urged her back to consciousness, "Coraline. Time to wake up. Coraline, it's Doctor Carson. If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

It was strange to hear her name in another man's mouth. Dissonant, at odds with the frail form before him. This woman had been Coraline, once, but name and form no longer married. Coraline was vampire; she was life and passion and energy; this woman was the embodiment of transient mortality, broken beyond repair.

She stirred, death's rattle crouching behind broken rib and bruised muscle. A moan as she tried to move, stilled by the young medic's hand on her shoulder. Mick listened as he explained, as gently as he could, that there was no more to be done. He left open the possibility of a miracle, more for his own soul's benefit than hers, unable to say the words of impending death. But he saw the understanding in her eyes.

"Mick? Is Mick here?" Her fear wasn't of death but of abandonment and it sang through her frail words.

"Yes, he's here," Carson stepped away and Mick resumed his place by her side.

"I'm here," taking her hand, stroking paper-thin skin, feeling her fevered warmth, "I'm here."

The doctor retreated, forgotten, pausing at the door to assure them he would be on call all night, ready when needed. In the days since Mick had dragged her free from the bonds of blood and pain, this was their first moment alone, aware, able to speak freely to each other, yet his words wouldn't come.

"I wasn't sure you'd come," she fixed brimming eyes to his, "and I'm not sure why you're here now."

"This is where I need to be."

"So you can watch me die?" She turned away, "You should have left me there."

"No…" he drew closer, his hand to her cheek, turning her back to face him, to see his truth. "No. I couldn't leave you there. I'm sorry I was too late…" His voice trailed off, unwilling to recount the acts she had endured and he had imagined. "I needed to make sure you were safe, to try-"

"To save me? Like another of your lost souls?"

He gripped her hand tighter, "I've thought a lot about that night; about what you did for me."

"So you rescued me. You've done your duty. And now I'm going to die so you can slip back to your nice, ordinary, little life and forget about me. If you were going to save me, you'd have done it by now." Her voice trembled, weak with pain, fear, a rising cadence of desperation.

A pause. The moment of decision, "Is that what you want?"

Astonishment caught the breath in her throat, "Of course that's what I want. How could you doubt it? Just because you-" Her eagerness to get the words out provoked a burst of coughing, the monitors' tones accelerating their alarm.

"Easy, easy." Mick brushed her hair from her face, "I hoped they'd be able to treat you here, to heal you and then it wouldn't matter. You'd recover and eventually you'd turn back. But now-"

"Now I'm going to die. And you're going to let it happen," even now her taunt was defiant.

"No. I'm going to give you the one thing you never gave me. If you want," he struggled to force the words out, "If you want me to turn you back, I will."

"I thought… your life now has no place for me."

How could he explain what he didn't really understand? How could he tell her he needed to do this for himself just as much as for her? "After everything, all of it, the life I choose is different. But I won't watch you die if there's another way."

She searched his face, struggling to understand, "You told me once, part of you would always love me and part of you would always hate me."

Mick smiled, "That's pretty much still true. But time takes the edge off. Life takes the edge off."

"I may be mortal now but I can still see. I can still feel. Immortality's so hateful to you, could you really give it back to me?"

Mick nodded, a slight shrug, "We've done too much to each other. It has to stop somewhere."

"Does it?"

"Yes, it does. We've been over this, so many times, over so many years. I'll never know what I would have done, then, if you'd given me a choice. But how I live now, that's up to me. That's my choice." He drew himself onto the bed, slipping an arm beneath her body. Even the faint touch brought another flash of pain. "And this is yours. Tell me."

She rested in his arms, a small smile on her lips. "You'll really do it?"

"Tell me it's what you want, and I'll do it."

Her tears fell freely, "Fate really does have a sense of humour."

He drew back, "What do you mean?"

"It's too late, Mick." Each word was a struggle now, her force fading with every laboured breath. "This was their ultimate punishment. A mortal death. I'm cursed to endure the thing you crave more than life." A bitter laugh provoked another spasm. "They've had centuries to perfect their secret. Their ultimate secret. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't turn me back."

"That's not possible," Mick's whisper of disbelief.

"They gave me mortality, knowing it would only be…" She paused at the hope sparking again in his tired eyes, "Don't ask me how - even I didn't know about it until it was too late. Take my blood if it'll help you. Take what you want." A brief, weak struggle to push him away.

"That's not what this is about." Neither knew the measure of truth in his words as he held fast. "Coraline, I…" There were no more words, no more miracles, nothing extraordinary, nothing supernatural, just the stark reality of death. "I don't know what to say."

"Just stay." He tightened his arms around her, drawing her close, her head falling to his shoulder. A hint of perfume, perhaps imagined, but enough to overcome the present, to transport him back to a simpler time, a young man holding his love in his arms, imagining the wonders of their future together. The briefest, tranquil moments, a rare peace.

"Will you open the window? I want to hear the ocean."

Moving aside tubes and drips, he lifted her, feather-light in his arms and crossed to the window, settling them into the armchair as the moonlight rippled over the water. The gentle ebb and flow matched his soft strokes, cool and soothing against her skin.

It was there, rocking gently, his lips pressed to her brow, that the nurse found them, the monotone alarms finally silenced, no heartbeat, no pulse, no sound, no fanfare, just the distant wash of the retreating tide.


*****************************


It was past midnight when Mick made his way down to the beach, the silence broken only by the gentle lap of waves against the shore. The tip of his cigarette, filched from a sympathetic nurse, glowed a fierce orange as he tipped his head back, savouring the lick of smoke through his lungs. The stillness was a buffer against the rush of emotion, complex, unresolved. Regret battled relief; a profound sense of aloneness in the world; an echo of another night, long ago, when he had chosen one life over another. She had made him and now she was gone. Who would he be without that connection, a blood bond, sealed in love, passion, destruction, redemption?

The slide of leather loafer on sandy pebble heralded Josef's arrival, "Well?"

"It's over," Mick took another drag.

"What happened?"

"It's over, Josef." Maybe he'd tell him, some day, but for now, he needed to keep it inside, secret, private.

"Is it?"

Mick's nod was his only reply. It was an ending, a final act without flourish, a mortal farewell.

Their silence was broken by the fizz of his cigarette, crushed underfoot in the damp sand as Mick turned, for home, "She just wanted to hear the ocean."
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by librarian_7 »

I can say nothing except...brava.

This is incomparable.

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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by PNWgal »

This finds me staring at my keyboard, at a loss to describe how profound I find this piece.

I've always had this belief that an honorable Mick would have done his best to rescue Coraline. However, this is a scenario I'd never imagined: a broken, mortal Coraline on the brink of death and Mick offering her the one thing she never gave him - a choice.
The leaden movement of her blood as it struggled to reach the broken and battered parts of her, carving new routes through muscle and tissue where artery and vein no longer functioned; her death, cell by cell, nerve by nerve; the necrotic stench as her body surrendered to injury too severe, too concerted, to fight. Knitting skin and pooling bruise, the sharp, violent advance of creeping infection overpowering the drugs pumping into her. Her repose was strange and unsettling, the reimposition of mortality altering the light within, even as it guttered and failed.
So powerful.
"Yes, it does. We've been over this, so many times, over so many years. I'll never know what I would have done, then, if you'd given me a choice. But how I live now, that's up to me. That's my choice." He drew himself onto the bed, slipping an arm beneath her body. Even the faint touch brought another flash of pain. "And this is yours. Tell me."
Even as Mick offers her the choice, it's already been taken away from her, by those who doled out her punishment. I love how it's conveyed here how much Mick has grown, how far he's come in his acceptance of who and what he is.
She had made him and now she was gone. Who would he be without that connection, a blood bond, sealed in love, passion, destruction, redemption?
I don't think I've read such a succinct summation of Mick and Coraline's relationship.

Ironic. Mick gives up his much-desired humanity to save someone he loves. Coraline loses her much-desired immortality to save the one SHE loves.

If this is a taste of things to come, I shall await these with pleasure!
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by allegrita »

I'm completely overwhelmed. Just awestruck by this piece. Thank you for giving them an end to their relationship, however devastating it may be. They deserved that.

I'll be back but for now I just need to go stare at the ocean myself.
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by fairytoes »

Red, I'm sorry, but I'm not able to leave a comment (not even in my native language) that would come close to what I felt when I read this story. I'm absolutely overwhelmed.
This story will stick with me for quite awhile. Thank you Red. :flowers:
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by redwinter101 »

Lucky, well, that's just made my day. Thank you. :rose:

PNWgal, Mick's "It wasn't meant to be" speech to Beth had me shouting at my TV (literally). That's not the Mick I saw, the Mick I believed in. He had to have done something to save Coraline. I can't see how he could have let her sacrifice go. He was in the process of re-making his life, but this one piece of his past had to be resolved - and I'm delighted that you found satisfaction in this particular resolution. Whatever his ever-changing feelings for her, he remains a man of honour.

alle, thank you, sweetie. I look forward to you coming back for more!

fairy, no apologies necessary - that's a beautiful comment - thank you. :hearts:

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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by jenstc2003 »

This is absolutely fantastic, Red! Words fail me, beyond that. You have created a masterpiece.
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by redwinter101 »

jenstc2003 wrote:This is absolutely fantastic, Red! Words fail me, beyond that. You have created a masterpiece.
:curtesy:

You're too kind, Jen. Thank you.

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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by coco »

Red, this is incredible. :clapping:

I've read it through three times now. I love the closure you give them in this piece.

Mick is wonderful here. Totally the Mick I hope to see and feel present in every story I read. I've always agreed with those who said Mick would never have left Coraline to her fate. He would have acted and this paragraph states that so perfectly.
While Coraline paid her familial dues, Mick's world had moved on, enjoying the briefest fruits of her gift and finding a strange, new acceptance of his place in the world. He had kept up his search, hoping to find her safe, secluded, a check mark on his honour list, a duty discharged. Then he could have gone on, conscience clear without having to venture too close an examination of the emotional morass that was their ever-present companion. When the news came, severe, reliable, he was compelled to act. The bonds of responsibility tied them together and extended further, deeper than he could bear to examine; he had to come. He had to try. He had to allow another step back into her orbit if he were to retain the sense of self that had become his bedrock.
I absolutely adore this section:
"Mick? Is Mick here?" Her fear wasn't of death but of abandonment and it sang through her frail words.

"Yes, he's here," Carson stepped away and Mick resumed his place by her side.

"I'm here," taking her hand, stroking paper-thin skin, feeling her fevered warmth, "I'm here."
This says so much to me about their past and what was once there. Their connection to each other. For me, it highlights why they had 33 years together.
"Just stay." He tightened his arms around her, drawing her close, her head falling to his shoulder. A hint of perfume, perhaps imagined, but enough to overcome the present, to transport him back to a simpler time, a young man holding his love in his arms, imagining the wonders of their future together. The briefest, tranquil moments, a rare peace.
So incredibly moving, Red. My heart breaks for Mick here and Coraline. Such a sad, quiet moment for them both.

Superb end, Red. This image of Mick will stay with me for quite some time.
"It's over, Josef." Maybe he'd tell him, some day, but for now, he needed to keep it inside, secret, private.

"Is it?"

Mick's nod was his only reply. It was an ending, a final act without flourish, a mortal farewell.

Their silence was broken by the fizz of his cigarette, crushed underfoot in the damp sand as Mick turned, for home, "She just wanted to hear the ocean."
I love the Divine series already and look forward to more in the series. :twothumbs:
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by darkstarrising »

red,

You've filled a gaping void in the love story of Mick and Coraline far better than any writer would have done it justice in the series. Of course he would go looking for her, how could he not? Mick is an honorable man, saved by a woman he once loved more than anything else. She saved him, giving him the gift of humanity. How ironic that that same humanity would be her own downfall.
As he craned harder, nearer, her humanity covered, filled, overwhelmed him.


This story should be one where the lovers come full circle, but that is not to be. In the beginning, Coraline gave Mick the gift of eternity. In the end, she gave him the gift of humanity. Mick seeks to give Coraline the gift of eternity, yet the cruelty of her captors won't permit it. Whatever they have done to her will not allow her to escape death ever again.
"Mick? Is Mick here?" Her fear wasn't of death but of abandonment and it sang through her frail words.
This nearly broke my heart. Beaten, broken, near death, she fears abandonment more than anything. The back and forth between the two as Coraline tries to understand Mick's actions in saving her and his attempts to explain himself ring true.
How could he tell her he needed to do this for himself just as much as for her? "After everything, all of it, the life I choose is different. But I won't watch you die if there's another way."
The image that you present us of her death is truly heart-wrenching
It was there, rocking gently, his lips pressed to her brow, that the nurse found them, the monotone alarms finally silenced, no heartbeat, no pulse, no sound, no fanfare, just the distant wash of the retreating tide.
And when all is over, Mick cannot share with anyone, not even Josef, the final moments .....

This is a view of Mick and Coraline that I wish we could have seen, lovers once, with love still felt by each.

Brava, my dear red :rose:
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by Moonlightsonata »

Redwinter - Thank you for this beautiful, magnificent story. I agree that the honorable Mick we knew would have made some effort to find Coraline. This was a fitting ending to their story - better than any writer on Moonlight could have done.
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by redwinter101 »

Thank you so much, coco. I especially loved that you picked out this quiet moment:
coco wrote:I absolutely adore this section:
"Mick? Is Mick here?" Her fear wasn't of death but of abandonment and it sang through her frail words.

"Yes, he's here," Carson stepped away and Mick resumed his place by her side.

"I'm here," taking her hand, stroking paper-thin skin, feeling her fevered warmth, "I'm here."
This says so much to me about their past and what was once there. Their connection to each other. For me, it highlights why they had 33 years together.
To me, their relationship was anything but simple, from the beginning we saw, to the end I've imagined here.

dsr,
darkstarrising wrote:Of course he would go looking for her, how could he not?
:woohoo: I could not agree more (SO glad it's not just me who feels that :biggrin: ). And, as you say, lovers once, still with love for each other - in spite of everything.

Moonlightsonata, thank you - a fitting ending to their story is what I was hoping for here. I'm delighted you found that.

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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by lorig »

I'm gonna plop myself in the Red cheering section... :cheer:

What a wonderful concept this office is! I loved it. What a beautiful story you told Red! Ok,I admit it! I'm a RED groupie!! :twothumbs: :clapping: :hyper2:

Looking forward to the rest. :notworthy:
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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by redwinter101 »

:giggle:

:hyper2: :hyper2: :hyper2: :hyper2: :hyper2: :hyper2:

I've got a groupie!!!

Seriously though, thanks lorig. Now I just have to hope the rest of the stories pass muster.

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Re: Vigil (midnight) - PG

Post by cassysj »

This is outstanding. I also felt Mick would go after Coraline, she deserved a rescue attempt for her sacrifice.

I'm so sorry she can't be turned back but I'm glad Mick offered. I think it shows how he has come to better terms with his vampirism since he chose to be turned back for Beth.

Very powerful.
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