For the first time in a very long time, a story made me squeal and shout , Yes!
Lucky the turning scene was perfect. Placing the comment about the teeth with a snap was the touch that sealed that line. We have said it before but Lucky, you must be living with the vamp to record his words so accurately. Josef's instant perception of Sally's formality. Then the line where his hidden angst the slips out, barely perceptible yet always there. "We'll take them, ... straight to hell."
Within that line, the heart that is Josef's, speaks.
thank you Lucky for another wonderful chapter, as they say... bring it on!
MoonShadow
Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Last edited by MoonShadow on Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Absolutely Brilliant. Thank you, Lucky!
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Oh, Lucky... this line:
I adore Sally. What a pragmatist she is, and yet she has dreams too. She's a delicious character--and I'm not talking about her yummy blood. (Down, Slade!!)
And Josef, with that wonderful line: "Feast on our enemies." Genghis Khan might have said the same. It's the perfect line with which to go to war, in a fight to the finish. And for a vampire? It truly is what happens when they fight.
I love that Josef is Slade's sire, and I love Josef's acknowledgment of the change in his relationship with Sally--and his respect for her boundaries. He's ever the gentleman, isn't he?? Well... unless he needs to be something else...
...is so prophetic of what happens to Sara! And you see it again in Josef's face when he returns Mick. It really is a miracle, just like a spark catching in tinder and making a flame. At that first moment, you never know which way it's gonna go. After Sara, Josef will never take it for granted again...although I'd be surprised if he ever did, actually.There was always that moment, the one that stretched into eternity, when he had the sickening thought that this time the miracle wasn’t going to happen, that this time the tiny spark of life would refuse to fan into an immortal flame.
I adore Sally. What a pragmatist she is, and yet she has dreams too. She's a delicious character--and I'm not talking about her yummy blood. (Down, Slade!!)
And Josef, with that wonderful line: "Feast on our enemies." Genghis Khan might have said the same. It's the perfect line with which to go to war, in a fight to the finish. And for a vampire? It truly is what happens when they fight.
I love that Josef is Slade's sire, and I love Josef's acknowledgment of the change in his relationship with Sally--and his respect for her boundaries. He's ever the gentleman, isn't he?? Well... unless he needs to be something else...
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
What a completely satisfying chapter! The wonderful descriptions of nature and their impact on the characters, the heat, the recess of the rocks, the wood, the sun, the dust. Sally and Josef sharing a bond. Josef protecting her by asking her to stay away. The turning of Slade, and his hunger, and the promise of a feast. What a grim situation, and how appropriate that Josef would solve the problem of having his leader die and having to fight a small army in one sweep. If only he can keep Sally safe, because now she's in danger by everyone except for Josef himself.
Lovely story, with grim determination and a lot of strength. And your Josef is fantastic!
Lovely story, with grim determination and a lot of strength. And your Josef is fantastic!
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Ohhhhhh squeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!! No pressure... truly... but I cannot WAIT for the next chapter!!!
This is so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!! No pressure... truly... but I cannot WAIT for the next chapter!!!
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Thanks so much for the lovely comments. This story has turned into one of my favorite "children" (although, aren't they all, in the long run?).
I am in the "thinking out" process of writing the next chapter...at the risk of giving away my process, while I know fairly well what needs to happen in the next chapter, the details of it are not all worked out quite yet.
And, I'm working on two other one-shot stories....in the midst of a lot of RL stress. So it may be a little while before we see how Josef and company deal with their enemies.
Lucky
I am in the "thinking out" process of writing the next chapter...at the risk of giving away my process, while I know fairly well what needs to happen in the next chapter, the details of it are not all worked out quite yet.
And, I'm working on two other one-shot stories....in the midst of a lot of RL stress. So it may be a little while before we see how Josef and company deal with their enemies.
Lucky
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
I was really taken by the descriptions here, all the detail of the scene where Josef and Sally are waiting for their pursuers. The heat, the water, the cloud of dust approaching in the distance .... it all comes off as being very, very real.
(What a lovely moment between Sally and Josef, too ....)
And Josef has such exquisite timing! What could be more perfect than having a very hungry new vampire around when your enemies approach?
(What a lovely moment between Sally and Josef, too ....)
And Josef has such exquisite timing! What could be more perfect than having a very hungry new vampire around when your enemies approach?
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Re: Dust Chapter 11 (PG-13)
Ha! Take that, bandits. Your time has come! This feels, finally, like the turning point. Josef no longer needs to hide and he has a true ally in Slade. Plus, of course, the wonderful, marvellous Sally.
Of course the bad guys don't stand a chance.
Red
Of course the bad guys don't stand a chance.
Red
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