What Are You, Mick St. John? [ch. 21] PG13

[NocturneInCMoll]

Author’s note: Sorry for the wait again. I had it “done” and back from my beta, but then I realized a few things didn’t work out so well for later, so I had to go back and change some things and then send it back to my beta again. I’m still not entirely happy with it, but whatever. I almost split it into two, because it’s the length of two short chapters, but it’s probably best if I don’t drag this Josh situation out anymore, eh? So you get an extra long chapter today.

Beta: Barb (Bank1115) gets extra thanks and appreciation for looking at this chapter not once, but TWICE, and for putting up with me in general…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


What Are You, Mick St. John?—Chapter 21

“It sounded like it was coming from the vehicle,” MacCallum looked back at Josef, who remained a stoic cherub.

Carl immediately kicked the front hubcap and tire a few times, ignoring the swift, dark glare Josef sent his way. “No, sorry if I startled you—it was just me checking out the vehicle.” Carl smacked the lid of the trunk hard. “—Solid as a rock.” He flashed MacCallum a charming grin. “Sometimes a Ferrari is just a Ferrari, MacCallum.”

“Yes, sir.”

Carl looked pointedly from her to the cruiser several times.

“Yes, sir.” MacCallum nodded again. “Come on, Steve—let’s go.”

Johnson looked over his shoulder at the Cleaner several times as he and his partner returned to their cruiser.

Carl and the vampires watched them drive off, and then looked at each other.

“You just had to speed, didn’t you,” Carl hissed. “I almost had two heart attacks and an aneurysm in the last five minutes.”

“Oh, Lieutenant, you did not—stop being so dramatic!” Josef snorted. “Your ticker was fast, but it never faltered.” He grinned at Carl, who was rolling his eyes, then shrugged his shoulders with his palms turned up. “Besides, people would be suspicious if a Ferrari wasn’t going over the speed limit. But I didn’t expect your eager beaver boy scouts to be all over us like that.”

“Yeah…sorry about that.” Carl flinched uneasily.

The Cleaner smiled reassuringly at him. “I was admittedly a little worried when Mr. Lindsey”—she looked darkly at the trunk—“decided to bang around in there, but you saved us. Nice thinking, making noise with the car yourself.”

“Yeah…nice thinking…” Josef growled. “But if you ever kick—no, if you ever touch my car again, Lieutenant, so help me, I’ll shove your badge so far up your—”

“Josef!” the Cleaner cut him off with a nasty look. “Stop harassing the Lieutenant for saving your ass. Your precious hunk of metal doesn’t have a scratch. Now…can we just go get back on the road? I’m sure Mr. Lindsey has figured out by now that no one is coming to his rescue.”

“Fine!” Josef sang. “Let’s roll, baby.” He opened his door and started to climb in.

“Um—” Carl began, and Josef looked back at him. “—I should have started my shift a couple hours ago.”

Josef frowned. “Go. You don’t want to cause suspicion. I’ll try not to do anything that would set off your pals again—hmm,” he pretended to muse, “maybe we should stop and buy Ms. Cleaner a nice gingham dress?”

The Cleaner reached over the side of the convertible and smacked him on the back of the head before turning to Carl again. “Thank you for your help—Carl. Once again, you’re my hero.”

Carl nodded, blushing a little as the Cleaner moved toward him on her way back to the passenger seat. As she passed him, she pulled a business card out of a hidden pocket and tucked it into his jacket with an enigmatic smile and a wink, “So we can talk later.” He grinned and let his eyes follow her into the car.

Josef started pressing buttons on the dashboard. “Okay, forget trying to look like a human, the sun’s still way too hot to have this top down—up it goes. We’ll be in touch later, Lieutenant—ciao!” Josef waved as the roof moved in place above his and the Cleaner’s heads.

Carl shook his head as he watched the Ferrari disappear down the road before walking back to his car. If someone had told me these were the kinds of things I’d have to put up with if vampires existed…I never would have believed them.

*******************************************************************************************************************************

It was getting stuffy in the trunk. Josh cursed Carl and his quick thinking—and those moron cops for buying his act.

Soon they were driving again. Josh had no idea how much time had passed before they finally slowed and parked. He felt and heard the car doors slam. A moment later, a key scraped in the lock and the lid popped open. He breathed in deeply. Ah, air! …and vampires. He narrowed his eyes at Kostan and the Cleaner, who were staring down at him.

“Mr. Lindsey—welcome to the alley behind ‘the Hollenback Bar, near Chatsworth,’” Kostan bowed stiffly. “—Sounds like an estate I had back when I was the Duke of Something-or-other.” He straightened up. “—But, apparently this is where Tejada is holed up, according to Ryder’s info.” He stopped his movements suddenly and looked at the Cleaner. “Holl-en-back—do you think it’s called that because Tejada’s holed up in back? If so, that’s really lame.” He shook his head disapprovingly.

The Cleaner shot him an amused look. “How did Ryder manage to track him down, anyway?”

“I told you—maestro of all things telephonic.” Kostan waved his hand dramatically in front of him.

“Hmm,” the vampiress grunted as she yanked Josh up out of the trunk.

Kostan threw a black car cover over the Ferrari. “Even I’ll admit parking a Ferrari in an alley where someone could see it and become suspicious isn’t the smartest of plans, but it’s better than out front where everyone can see it and become suspicious.”

The Cleaner and Kostan each took one of Josh’s arms firm in hand and began walking down the alley towards the front of the bar, occasionally letting Josh’s feet hit the ground. When they neared the end of the alley, Kostan left the Cleaner and Josh behind and went to look in front of the building. Josh saw Kostan scan the area and then saw his lips moving, but he couldn’t hear anything. Suddenly the Cleaner threw him across her shoulder and ran down the alley at a speed so fast Josh’s cheeks jiggled like Jello. She stopped just as suddenly, and his head was still spinning. Holy crap…I wonder what it would be like…

They were now standing with Kostan, who nodded to the parking lot “In a few hours, I bet this place will be filled with flashy cars. Mine would’ve fit right in,” he jeered the Cleaner over Josh’s head.

The Cleaner leaned forward. “But we’re not here in a few hours, are we? We’re here now. And your flashy car didn’t fit in so well on the road when it got you pulled over on the way here and almost blew the game.”

“Almost being the operative word, thanks to your boyfriend’s quick thinking. You should turn him—he could be a real boon to the tribe.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” the Cleaner snapped. “And nobody’s turning anyone.”

“Yet…” Kostan glanced at her sideways. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much—on both counts.”

She heaved an exasperated sigh. “By the way, must you tease him, Josef?”

“Yep—but we’ll have to talk about this later. You know how much I love discussing awkward situations, but I’ve got the ADA’s murder to arrange and Tejada to frame for it; I’m swamped.”

Josh and the Cleaner both looked at him strangely as he opened the door to the bar. Kostan stopped in his tracks as he noticed them staring. “What?” After a moment, he shrugged and waved the Cleaner in ahead of him. “Ladies first.”

Kostan dropped Josh’s arm as soon as they were in the door and stepped over to the bar. The Cleaner threw Josh into a booth and stood beside it. Josh surveyed the room. The bartender appeared to be the only person present, but he knew Tejada wouldn’t be without one bodyguard at the very least. Could there still be a chance for me to get away?

The bartender eyed the motley crew suspiciously. “We don’t open for another few hours. Beat it.”

The Cleaner pouted. “Oh, but I’m so thirsty,” she called from across the room.

The bartender looked at her and pursed his lips. “Well, maybe you can stay, chica…”

Kostan took that moment to grab his head and crack it hard against the counter. He let the unconscious bartender slide to the floor, then peered over the bar at his prone form and shook his head pityingly. “He’ll be out for a while—I do not envy him the headache he will have when he awakes.”

The Cleaner looked at him strangely. “Right...”

“If he awakes,” Kostan qualified. “I don’t think we’ll be leaving any little birdies alive to sing.” He looked around the room. “It’s inconceivable that there’s no one else here! I would’ve thought a guy like Tejada would have someone here guarding him—the bartender doesn’t count, I’m sure.”

The next moment the vampires cocked their heads in the direction of the washrooms and a large guy covered in tattoos came out of the men’s room. He noticed Kostan first and pulled his gun.

“Hey there, big guy,” the Cleaner winked at him.

The gangbanger’s eyes shot over her way and widened. Kostan appeared at his side before he had time to blink, grabbed the gun with his sleeve, and threw him across the room. The gangbanger crashed hard into the wall and slumped to the floor.

“Well, this was fun. I can see why Mick does it all the time. I can’t hear any other heartbeats—or toilets flushing. You?”

The Cleaner shook her head.

“Then let’s go find Mr. Tejada.” Kostan tossed the gun to the Cleaner, who caught it with the hand not gripping Josh’s arm. “Can you see if there is any way to trace that gun? I want it clean for later use. ‘Mr. Lindsey’ will be using it to take out the witnesses; he just won’t be aware of it.” He led the way down the hallway as the Cleaner dragged Josh along with her. He stopped in front of the office door at the back and knocked loudly.

“Venido!” a man grunted from within the office.

Kostan turned to grin at Josh. “Bingo!” He opened the door and moved over the threshold. “Tejada,” he stepped forward, palms up. The Cleaner quickly yanked Josh in with her.

Tejada scrambled to pick up his gun and point it at Kostan. He scowled at Kostan, then the Cleaner, and barely glanced at Josh, but Josh saw recognition flash in his eyes for that split second. “Who the hell are you?” Tejada tilted his chin up at Kostan. “How did you get in here?”

Kostan put his hands up. “Hey, I’m just the messenger—don’t shoot. I come bearing gifts—well, actually, just one gift, but it’s big. I think you’ll like it.” He snapped his fingers, and the Cleaner stepped forward, dragging Josh out in front of Tejada’s desk, where she tossed him on the ground, still bound and gagged. Josh landed hard, but the gag muffled his groan. The Cleaner retreated behind Kostan.

“What’s this?” Tejada frowned.

“Oh, I’m sorry; ADA Lindsey said you’d be pleased to have him trussed up like a pig on a spit and tossed on your doorstep.” He turned to the Cleaner. “Never mind—pack him back up; let’s go.”

“Forget that,” Tejada ordered. “I say when you leave.”

Josh saw Kostan school his face carefully as he faced Tejada again. “Well, we’ll see about that,” Kostan said smoothly.

“Who sent you?” Tejada barked.

“Me?” Kostan laid a hand over his heart. “I come on behalf of the entire community. The community feels that it would be best for everyone if the ADA were ‘removed from circulation,’ and we’ve chosen you to assist us with this public service.”

“That makes no sense. Why you really here, cracker?” Tejada growled.

Kostan looked down at Josh on the floor. “Did he just call me a cracker?” he indicated himself in disbelief. Josh just stared unblinking back at him. Kostan wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “Right…” He turned back to Tejada. “I’m here because I want you to shoot him.”

Josh’s face twitched in contempt.

Tejada looked suspiciously between him and Kostan. “If you’re some dumbass cop, then this is entrapment.”

“Wow—this is fascinating. A cop recently called me a smartass punk. Now some punk in a suit is calling me a dumbass cop. Maybe you two should get together sometime and compare notes—you both can’t be right.”

“I ask you one last time: who the hell are you and why the hell are you here?”

“Ooh, testy,” Kostan smirked before continuing boldly, “who I am is none of your concern. What you should be concerned about is what I’m going to do to you if you don’t shoot him.” He pointed a finger at Josh.

Tejada fired off three shots into Kostan instead. Kostan’s body jerked slightly with each impact, but he remained standing. A wicked grin spread across his face.

Josh saw Tejada’s eyes widen. I may enjoy watching Tejada squirm a little…but I won’t thank the vampire for it—not while it’s a part of my death ritual.

“How—how are you still standing?” Tejada stuttered a little. Then he hardened again. “Armour? You must have…armour—what are you wearing underneath? I wanna know now.”

“Yeah, I have a bulletproof chest—er, vest,” Kostan self-corrected cheekily. “—Maybe we can work out a deal after you stop wasting your bullets and SHOOT HIM,” he boomed the last words.

“Not until you tell me what your game is,” Tejada clenched his jaw.

Before Tejada could even blink, Kostan had rounded the desk and was at his side, growling in his ear, “You shouldn’t look gift horses in the mouth, Tejada.” He opened his mouth, giving Tejada a clear look at his fangs.

“El Diablo!” Tejada started shaking uncontrollably. “El Diablo!”

“That’s right,” Kostan hissed, snaking his head. “—Now do as I say, or you’re going to find out why your methods of torture and intimidation are tame and immature.”

Trembling, Tejada lifted the gun and squeezed the trigger three times.

Josh spasmed and cried out into the gag as the first bullet went wide and hit him in the thigh. I can’t believe this is happening. Two more shots followed in rapid succession; one lodged in his neck, the other punctured his right lung. Josh lurched and shuddered to breathe. He jerked his head to the side and saw a dark crimson stain spreading across the floor beside him. Oh my gosh… He twisted his head back up to see Kostan cradling Tejada’s neck in one hand.

Kostan snarled in Tejada’s face, “You might’ve made a good vampire—if only you weren’t such a terrible human.” Tejada’s eyes bugged out of his head just before the vampire snapped his neck with a sharp crack. “Who’s the cracker now, huh?” Kostan hissed as he let Tejada’s lifeless body crumple to the floor. “Grab him,” he said to the Cleaner, referring to Tejada. “We’ll be making a little visit to the tar pits on our way out of here. And then ‘Mr. Tejada’ will apparently be getting on a plane to some country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the United States—haven’t decided which one yet.”

Josh snorted and belched more blood into his mouth. There was nowhere for it to go; he was still gagged. The vampire knelt beside him, avoiding the expanding crimson pool, and leaned over his face to look him directly in the eye. “Well, Mr. Lindsey—I hope you enjoyed that last little show as you go not-so-gently into that good night…”

Josh focused on Kostan’s ice-blue eyes and gurgled a little as his mouth filled with blood. Beth…Beth has blue eyes. Darkness began to envelop him and the eyes faded to mere pinpricks of light before disappearing altogether.


To be continued…

[redwinter101]

Oh my, what a chapter of contrasts - from the lovely banter between Carl, the cleaner and Josef, to the very dark ending. Plenty of wonderful dialogue, as always, but this line was perfect - and so fitting. Josef does have his rules:

“You might’ve made a good vampire—if only you weren’t such a terrible human.”

Red

[darkstarrising]

Julie,

great chapter....Carl's getting in deeper and deeper, and Josh is almost gone. Amazing what goes through your mind when you're all trussed up and fearing the worst.

Holy crap…I wonder what it would be like…

Even as he lays dying, Josh's mind latches onto something familiar, maybe even comforting

Beth…Beth has blue eyes

Loved the back and forth between the Cleaner and Josef....so few get to banter with him as she did and live to tell about it..

[mitzie]

Great chapter! I loved all the banter between Carl and the cleaner, Josef and the cleaner and the banter between Tejada and Josef!!!! Excellent!!!! I love this story and can't wait for more...


mitzie

[wpgrace]

Wow! What a death scene! For both of them. And Josef! The dark vamp emerges. "Josef probably kills someone every day..." Yeah, I guess so! And apparently without batting an eye...

Big chapter, Julie. Well done.

[greenleaf9]

Oh my god...you refrenced The Princess Bride.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!


The Princess Bride is one of my all time favorite movies, and the fact that you have Josef referencing it is just absolutely hysterical!!! OMG, this...

But I’ve got the ADA’s murder to arrange and Tejada to frame for it; I’m swamped.

and then

I do not envy him the headache he will have when he awakes.

omg...I'm dying!

And the inconceivable. Priceless!

You just totally made my day.

[NocturneInCMoll]

Red, thank you so much! I suppose it was a rather contrast-full chapter. But I think it needed to be, for this story to carry on the way it has been. You're right, Josef does have his rules--and he recognized that Tejada wasn't the kind of man you wanted to live forever (kind of like Donovan Shepard).

Karen, thank you!!! Yeah, Josh was doing a little wondering ("What does it feel like?") when the Cleaner took him on that little "jog" down the alley. Maybe if he'd wondered sooner... Anyway, when I was writing Josh's death scene, I was thinking about how when he was dying in LLF, and kept reminiscing about his and Beth's first date. But this time, Beth wasn't looking over him when he died--it was just Josef, the vampire who had him killed. So you're right, he was looking for some familiarity, some comfort--some connection to something. Dunno if it helped much. But...that's it. Josh is not almost, or even mostly dead (hah)--he's just dead. He will not be appearing in this story anymore.

Mitz, thank you!!!! Glad you liked all the banter. I do have fun with it...

WP--thank you so much! Josef did get a little dark at the end, I suppose, when it was time for J & T to meet their ends. But...it was for the good of "the community" (the human community as well, especially in the case of Tejada), so he did what he had to do. You know, I almost didn't write Josh's death scene, because Carl wasn't going to be there--and so I almost copped out. But then...I decided I could do it from Josh's perspective instead.

GL, I you for picking up on all three. Back when I was first writing the bar scene, Josef kept wanting to make Princess Bride references for some reason. At first, there were going to be a lot more people there, but then when I considered the timeline of my story I realized it was probably only around dinnertimeish (which worked out better for the vamps in the end; less potential witnesses). So originally, Josef walked into the bar and said to everyone there, "I am here; but soon, you will not be here..."

...And that's when I realized that it was after 2am and I should really go to bed...

But the next day, Josef was still wanting to make PB references (don't ask me why ), so I told him he was ridiculous, but let him have a few. Did you like how the Cleaner, and even Josh once, looked at him strangely? I almost had the Cleaner ask him if he'd been watching classic 80s movies on TV recently, but then decided it would be more fun to see if any readers noticed.

Oh, and GL, guess what I named my cat?
.
.
.
.
.
WESTLEY!!!!!

[wollstonecraft61]

Oh, Noc, I didn't think you would really do it!! I feel sorry for Josh now. What a way to go. I loved the Josef snark, though. Poor Josh!!!

[coco]

Fabulous chapter Nocturne. I too am a big fan of the banter between Carl and the cleaner.

What an ending. WOW.

[greenleaf9]

GL, I you for picking up on all three. Back when I was first writing the bar scene, Josef kept wanting to make Princess Bride references for some reason. At first, there were going to be a lot more people there, but then when I considered the timeline of my story I realized it was probably only around dinnertimeish (which worked out better for the vamps in the end; less potential witnesses). So originally, Josef walked into the bar and said to everyone there, "I am here; but soon, you will not be here..."

...And that's when I realized that it was after 2am and I should really go to bed...

But the next day, Josef was still wanting to make PB references (don't ask me why ), so I told him he was ridiculous, but let him have a few. Did you like how the Cleaner, and even Josh once, looked at him strangely? I almost had the Cleaner ask him if he'd been watching classic 80s movies on TV recently, but then decided it would be more fun to see if any readers noticed.

Oh, and GL, guess what I named my cat?
.
.
.
.
.
WESTLEY!!!!!

Okay, that is so awesome! Westley the Cat...hahaha...that is so cool!

OMG

So originally, Josef walked into the bar and said to everyone there, "I am here; but soon, you will not be here..."

That's too funny! I loved how the Cleaner and Josh were giving Josef expressions. Every single chapter you post, you never fail to absolutely bust me up. It was just so cool to see the references...I love the movie so much. My banner references it.

[NocturneInCMoll]

Woll--Aww, you really thought I wasn't going to do it? Are you very upset with me? Even I feel a little sorry for Josh, but...nowhere near as much as I did in LLF. This Josh failed to redeem himself. Glad you liked the Josef snark, though.

Coco--thank you so much! Glad you enjoy Carl and the Cleaner We'll get to see more of them soon. I am amused that Josh's death earned a ...

GL-- Glad you got a kick out of them. I did have fun putting them in--that movie really is just so fantastic. I had noticed the "As You Wish" on your banner, but forgot about it. It is kind of hard to imagine Josef Kostan watching it, so I just have to pretend that he was bored late one night and ended up watching it on TV. Perhaps he got caught up in it because he could relate a little to Westley and Buttercup, and maybe a little of Inigo... You know, when I was writing the challenge piece (Human Is Where the Heart Is), I almost had Josef quote Westley (the character, not my cat), "Death cannot stop true love; All it can do is delay it for a while," when he was talking about Sarah. But then I didn't.

Westley (the cat) is extremely cute and sweet but also very obnoxious. He's a gray tabby with white feet and throat (and a beige tummy). I suppose it would have been more appropriate if he were all black, but... He also rarely says "as you wish"--he's actually rather disobedient. Despite all that, I think the name works for him, though I had already decided before I found him at the SPCA that I was going to name the cat I got Westley. Ooh...I also bought a stuffed cat for him to play with, and named her Buttercup. He doesn't play with her very often (I usually have to shove her at him) but when he does he kicks her in the head and tries to tear her throat out. Ah, true love...

[ash]

Amazing chapter love, i actually felt bad that Josh dies oh well.

And i agree with Greenleaf, you're my hero for the PB references. Fan-frinking-tastic. I was rollin'


Nice use of humor then the dark, almost sudden end. Heartless Josef is a bit creepy. Awesome Job

[wollstonecraft61]

Woll--Aww, you really thought I wasn't going to do it? Are you very upset with me? Even I feel a little sorry for Josh, but...nowhere near as much as I did in LLF. This Josh failed to redeem himself. Glad you liked the Josef snark, though.

Coco--thank you so much! Glad you enjoy Carl and the Cleaner We'll get to see more of them soon. I am amused that Josh's death earned a ...

GL-- Glad you got a kick out of them. I did have fun putting them in--that movie really is just so fantastic. I had noticed the "As You Wish" on your banner, but forgot about it. It is kind of hard to imagine Josef Kostan watching it, so I just have to pretend that he was bored late one night and ended up watching it on TV. Perhaps he got caught up in it because he could relate a little to Westley and Buttercup, and maybe a little of Inigo... You know, when I was writing the challenge piece (Human Is Where the Heart Is), I almost had Josef quote Westley (the character, not my cat), "Death cannot stop true love; All it can do is delay it for a while," when he was talking about Sarah. But then I didn't.

Westley (the cat) is extremely cute and sweet but also very obnoxious. He's a gray tabby with white feet and throat (and a beige tummy). I suppose it would have been more appropriate if he were all black, but... He also rarely says "as you wish"--he's actually rather disobedient. Despite all that, I think the name works for him, though I had already decided before I found him at the SPCA that I was going to name the cat I got Westley. Ooh...I also bought a stuffed cat for him to play with, and named her Buttercup. He doesn't play with her very often (I usually have to shove her at him) but when he does he kicks her in the head and tries to tear her throat out. Ah, true love...

Naw, how could I be upset with my good buddy? Besides, I love your writing.

[NocturneInCMoll]

Thanks so much, Ash! I do also feel a little bad that Josh had to die, but...yeah...oh, well. Glad you liked the PB references. I did have fun putting them in. Josef just didn't seem to want to go on without them, which is weird, but...whatever. He's also amused that you found him "creepy."

Woll, tee hee, thank you, and I'm glad to hear you aren't too upset with me!

[NocturneInCMoll]

Just a little update, if anyone's still out there...my muse seems to have returned--for the moment, at least. I'm almost done a draft of Ch. 22 and have written part of Ch. 23. I hope to be able to send one or both to my beta shortly.