Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)

[redwinter101]

Title: Afterglow
Author: redwinter101
Rating: PG-13, language and theme
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight or any of its characters
Note: I normally try to keep my notes brief, but this is the final chapter, so forgive the indulgence of a little ramble. My thanks to everyone who has followed this story and shed a few tears along the way. I hope that I have given sufficient warning in the preceding chapters of what to expect here - because I really can't give any more warnings without giving away the outcome. And for those of you who are tempted to skim through to find out the ending *coughGracecough* please don't - it won't make sense, k?

A/N 2: The idea for this whole story started with the conclusion so this was always the ending I envisaged. The story is inspired by, and very loosely based on, one of my favourite operas. As a small thank you to those who have been reading, I have a little prize to offer to the first person who guesses the name of the opera: I will write a fic for you, to the prompt of your choice (and I figure if you've read this far you like my stuff and therefore this will have some value to you!). So, if you have an idea, post your guesses!


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--- Afterglow, part 12 ---

Previously:

Beth was calm, her hand braced against his chest, "I thought we'd have more time. But it seems we were destined to run out." She stroked his face, trying to soothe. "I love you. Remember, always remember, I love you." She drew him into a kiss filled with desperation, need, disbelief, her fingers tracing through his tears. She pulled away. Mick tried to follow, tried to reach for her, but he was halted and held. He felt the scratch against his neck, the thick liquid pumped into him as the needle pushed in, chill spreading. He staggered back against his captors as the paralytic started to take effect. They held him upright as Josef stepped close, taking Mick's face between his hands. Mick tried to speak but he couldn't force his now-frozen vocal cords to work. He tried to scream, the effort contorting his features, but his cry stuck in his throat.

As he stared at his friend, Josef saw there was still belief, still hope, still trust, all shattered by his next words, "I'm sorry, Mick. I couldn't save you both."


*****************************


Swirling and taunting, a dense fog of confusion settled, filling nose, mouth, eyes. He was spinning, a lurch of nausea. Unable to breathe, blinded, fumbling for constancy, a touch to balance. Muffled sounds, voices he couldn't distinguish; contact, soft skin, the swish of silk.

Mick reached out, fingers groping for something, anything tangible, Josef's words ringing, "I couldn't save you both." He tried to call out, for Josef, for Beth, for anyone, but hard as he tried, no sound came. Acrid smoke caught in his throat, smouldering flesh rousing flashes of angry memory. The crackle of wood, burning. Then heat, he flinched from the flame, but it followed him. He tried to run, stumbled, fell.

He heard her. "It's okay, Mick." Her cool hands on him, soothing charred skin, healing.

"Beth?"

"It's okay, Mick."

Her hands slipped away, her voice faded.

"Beth!" Whirling, desperate, searching, "Beth! Where are you?" Silence smothered him again. No smell, no sight, no touch. Alone. He slipped under once more.

Elusive memory snapped into focus and he was back there, at Josef's house, images forming into order as the narcotic haze cleared.

"I'm sorry, Mick. I couldn't save you both." The familiar voice that now filled him with fear.

Whatever they had pumped into him did its dark work with speed. His body was no longer his to control, a shroud descending, confounding his senses. Sounds pulsed in and out, blaring then fading to silence. Beth was there, right in front of him, but he couldn't reach her. The voice in his head screamed, "No! Josef, no! Please, no." Futile, soundless to all save him.

Josef turned to Beth, gathering her hands to his lips in a kiss of supplication, a gesture of care. She nodded, biting her lip to stem her tremor. Compelled to show him, to show them all, she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close, whispering, "It's okay, Josef. I'm ready."

"You are a remarkable woman, my dear." He stroked the tumbling tears from her face and turned back to Mick, his eyes gleaming. "I couldn't save you both," he repeated, stepping close, "but it seems I couldn't choose either."

He gripped Mick's face, searching his eyes for understanding. "So, listen to me, my friend, and listen well." He kissed Mick on both cheeks. "She's the one, buddy. Don't fuck it up." He grinned, wide, warm, true, relinquished his hold and, with a brief nod to Beth, turned to face his fate. He stalked toward the waiting gaggle, barking, "Right. Let's get on with it shall we?"


*****************************


"It's okay, Mick. Wake up, please, wake up." Her touch, her words were real this time as Mick surfaced from the depths, clawing back to consciousness. The brush of her fingers against his face, tears falling, hot on his skin. He reached up, touching himself back to reality, face, hands, he was here, whole, alive. They were both here. Finally able to focus, he lurched upright, in her arms, home.

"Beth?"

"Yes, Mick. It's me. You were dreaming. You're alive. We're both alive." She held him with all her strength, rocking, sobbing, relief and sorrow overflowing. "We're safe."

He clung to her, groping for understanding, sorting the jumbled images, trying to make sense. "Burning. I thought you were... How?" He cast around the room; they were back at the loft, warm, evening light flowing through the window.

She pulled away, "In a minute. I'll explain everything, first, just kiss me, Mick. Please, just kiss me." And his arms were filled with her, sobbing, desperate, but alive. It was a kiss of life, hard and awkward, reconnecting, pouring themselves into each other.

"You're alive." He gripped and stroked, "You're alive." He sank his face to her hair, breathing in, refilling himself with her. "You're alive." Questions, confusion, explanation, for now, they could wait. He drew her closer, light kisses raining, gentle touches, affirming her life, her presence. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

He drew back, dropping his hands to her waist, taking a deep breath. "So, tell me. How?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"We were at Josef's. I'd been injected with something and I couldn't move, couldn't talk. I thought..." The flash of memory brought fresh, icy fear, "I thought Josef had given you up. I thought you were going to die. And then he told me you were the one." A sniff and a gulp, deep breath filling his lungs, calming. "It's all a bit of a blur after that." He worried at his brow, trying to order his scrambled thoughts. "Then I remember Josef walking off. He was calm, in control. And then... I can't make it out." Tight fists of frustration beat against his head as he tried to remember.

She wrapped herself tighter around him, "Then he did what he'd planned all along. I thought he'd made a deal - that my life would be the price." Mick couldn't stem a growl, "No, it was okay, really. When he came to see me in New York, I knew he was in trouble, that things weren't going to plan. He loved you so much, Mick, I knew he could never do anything to risk your life." She paused, watching Mick's horror as realisation dawned.

"'Loved'. You said 'loved'."

She nodded, fresh tears brimming once more. "He, oh God, Mick, he had it all laid out. Every detail."

"No. He can't be... " Mick couldn't say the word. He stood, testing still unsteady legs, but he needed to move. He paced, a blur of movement, hands through his hair, to his mouth, trying to prod the memories into focus. "No." Shaking his head, wagging his finger, "No. It's not true."

Silent, Beth sat, waiting for him to understand.

"He can't have died just to satisfy these, these small men and their..." He halted, a terrible, chill dread creeping through him. "He told me, he said, 'She's the one.'" Mick closed his eyes, summoning Josef's presence. "He was... calm. How could he be so calm?"

Beth shook her head, "I don't know, Mick. But I know he was playing things out in his own way. To his own rules."

"I remember. He walked over and told them to get on with it." He closed his eyes, replaying the scene.

The group of ten had formed a circle around Josef, the youngest speaking, words of doom and portent. "Oh for Heaven's sake," Josef rolled his eyes, "isn't it enough that I'm going to die? Must you bore me into a stupor first?"

There was a hint of amusement behind Laszlo's eyes, "Very well, Josef. I'll keep it brief. You have submitted to the penalty of death. All debts are paid and this is the final act of the Legion in Los Angeles. The death of your immortal body signals the death of the Legion's activites here. So it is written. So it will be done." He bowed solemnly.

Josef shrugged off his jacket, casting it to the ground, his watch and cufflinks following, "Well there's no need to destroy perfectly good Savile Row tailoring." The flames of the pyre rose, fierce heat beating.

"Do you have any final words?"

Josef climbed the small platform, facing the fire. He glanced to Laszlo, ignoring his question with a smirk, rolling back his sleeves. He was ready. Looking across to Mick, he smiled. Then, with a sharp, definite nod, he fell, consumed in a brief, brilliant flare.

Mick cried out, a strangled sob, "No," as his eyes snapped open. "No, it can't be. It was a trick. It must have been a trick."

A sharp knock at the door startled them. Mick raced to open it, expecting to see his friend, miraculously whole and present. "Good evening, Mr. St. John." The visitor looked over Mick's shoulder, nodding to Beth, "Mrs. St. John."

"Paul. What are you doing here? Where's Josef?" And then he saw the grimace of pain, the sorrow in the man's eyes. All his years of service and now his master was gone.

"I'm sorry, Mr. St. John." He held out two large envelopes. "I'm carrying out Mr. Kostan's final instructions. He wanted to make sure you both received these personally. They are important and I am to ask you to read them immediately." Mick backed away, eyeing the documents as though they were toxic to the touch. "Please, sir," there was a tremble in Paul's voice that all his years of training and service couldn't quite stifle, "just take them and I'll be on my way."

Beth brushed past Mick and took the envelopes, gathering Paul in a hug. He closed his eyes, composing himself with a brief cough before stepping back into the hallway. "Thank you, miss." He turned and was gone, his grieving tread echoing along the hallway. Beth pushed the door closed, drawing Mick to the couch, inspecting the delivery.

"There's one for each of us." She held one out to Mick, resting the other in her lap. He reached out, paused, finally taking the envelope, reading his name, still refusing to believe.

"I'll go first, okay?" She opened the envelope, taking out a letter and a flash drive. Placing the drive on the table, she unfolded the thick, creamy parchment, subtly monogrammed, filled with Josef's elegant, distinctive script. She could picture him, sitting at his desk, fountain pen in hand. She read aloud, her voice clear and calm.

Beth,

Once one reaches a certain age it is easy to believe that the days of making new friends are long past. You have shown me how wrong that belief is. I may not have shown it at times, but quite apart from the place you hold in Mick's heart, you wormed your persistent, troublesome way into mine too. In my (admittedly rare) moments of reflection, I have cherished that more than you will ever know.

You are one hell of a woman, at turns irritating beyond belief,

She laughed, her breath catching.

but loyal, brave and true. Mick knows now, I hope, that you were prepared to give up your life for him, without hesitation, without regret. Don't ever let him forget it. Your love for him spread, and included me in its glow. I felt its warmth and it was quite astonishing. You were ready to spare me the pain of choosing whose life to sacrifice - more than friendship, you have my eternal respect.

She gripped Mick's hand in hers as she continued.

In return for putting the kibosh on your story, I am enclosing the entire results of years' worth of investigation into Legion members in Washington. Everything illegal but non-vampire-related is here. Chapter and verse. Use it. Write that article. Win that Pulitzer. And you might like to include the charming Mr. Campbell as I'm sure the whole affair still rankles with an old revolutionary such as him. They can't harm you now, so do your worst.

I wish I'd had longer to get to know you and for you to get to know me. I hope you will remember me fondly from time to time. But more than that, I hope that you and Mick find the lasting happiness that you both deserve. It took me a while to realise it, but you're the one for him. He needs you. Whatever you choose - the remainder of your mortal life together or eternity by his side - choose well, live happy, and take care of him. He needs it more than he knows. I am counting on you.

With love,

Josef

"Oh, Josef." Her hand to her mouth, her voice filled with warmth and care.

She looked to Mick as he turned his envelope over and over. "I don't think I can do this." A bitter laugh at his own childish fear; maybe if he didn't read the letter, it wouldn't be true.

"Yes, you can." Beth pressed close, wrapping her arms around him, "You must, Mick. You must."

He paused, biting his lip, tracing his name, written in Josef's hand. Finally, with a sharp nod, he tore open the envelope and eased out its contents. With a cough and a deep, shaky breath, he read.

Mick,

If you are reading this then everything has gone according to plan and I am dead. For real this time.

Mick nodded, a smile forming, holding back his tears.

While the notion of leaving an air of mystery surrounding my death appeals to me, there are things I need you to take care of, things I entrust to you, so you need to know the truth. All of it. I am sorry for all the melodrama but I needed witnesses and I needed you to see, so that you would believe, but I couldn't risk you trying to stop me. You always were one to ruin a carefully laid plan.

A laugh of shared memory, Josef's ever-present scowl of disapproval.

To get the practicalities out of the way, you will find a box of documents in your office, relating to the disposal of my estate, ensuring that those who have been loyal to me over these many years are well looked after and my assets dealt with in accordance with my wishes. More important than money, I am trusting you with Sarah's care. You are the only one I can count on to look after her and keep her safe. I know she will not be lonely as long as she has you. I have said my goodbyes to her in this life but I have to believe that somehow we will be together again.

It feels like I have so much to say, but so little time to say it. Who would have thought that after nearly sixty years, there is still so much I wish I had told you? But it was never really my way and now I find that I regret that. Some of it relates to my dealings with the Legion, going back centuries, and the part I played in bringing us all to this point: the war, the truce, everything. I have documented all of it and I hope you will not think too badly of me once you read it. I always did what I thought was best, even if it didn't quite turn out how I expected. In my attempts to fix everything, I made a deal with them, a deal with the Devil indeed: my loyalty to the Legion in return for keeping you and Beth safe for a year. I thought it would buy me time to come up with a better solution, but all it did was make me realise that it was time to change the balance of power once and for all. I would not be dictated to in my own town, not by anyone.

The information I have gathered may be of use to you in the future, but, more than that, I want you to understand that the decision to end my life was about more than saving you and Beth, because without meaning to gloat, my life is worth much more than yours, at least to those who try to measure such things. It was about finally bringing the Legion's presence in Los Angeles to an end. At one time they were a force for good, for balance, for order, but they have become petty and spiteful, a threat to all of us. I found it in my power to banish them forever, so I took it. The price was my life. And it was a price worth paying. My protection is eternal - you and Beth are safe from them forever - and they will remove themselves from the city, never to return. We can run our own affairs, without their interference.

Far from weeping into my whiskey as I write this, I am grinning-

Mick's voice cracked, the image of Josef so clear, breaking his trembling resolve. Eyes blurred with tears, he couldn't read on. Leaning in, reading over his shoulder, gently stroking him, Beth took over.

Far from weeping into my whiskey as I write this, I am grinning - because I win. I get my way. This is the outcome I have chosen. It is my responsibility and you don't get to take that onto your shoulders. This is all mine. It was a surprisingly easy decision in the end. I realised that a man can only live so long and finally I found something worth dying for. That's never been your problem, my friend. But now, with Beth, at last you've found something worth living for. Take it, make the most of it, don't fall into the trap of thinking you have eternity because even forever comes to an end.

As a wise man once said, "Living well is the best revenge."

My friend, my brother, farewell,

Josef

Mick's hand dropped, the letter floating to rest on the table. "He really did it, didn't he?" With a disbelieving smile and a shake of his head, Mick pulled Beth into his arms. "He really did it," his voice a whisper. "He's gone and we're here." They sat together, united in grief, holding tight.

Hand in hand, they moved out to the balcony as the dying sun pulled the last remnants of the day below the horizon. They stood, Beth pressing back against Mick, his arms tight around her, gazing out over the city. Their city, their home, their future. Curling himself tighter, his chin tucked into her shoulder, their fierce embrace of joy and sorrow, grief and hope entwined.

Bathed in the afterglow of another day, whatever their future held, they would face it together, with Josef beside them, in friendship, in hope, in love.

[CarolBee]

Oh my god, red, you have outdone yourself.

I am in tears - of joy for Mick and Beth, in pain for the loss of Josef, and in sorrow that this story had ended. It may not mean much but I thank you for this wonderful story.

[lorig]

Oh Red...
Oh God...Josef!!

I will post my reponse when I have my emotions in check

[kpyle]

I am almost speechless after this! Just an amazing ending! So happy for Mick and Beth once thier grief of losing Joseph ends, but so sad for losing Joseph! What an amazing friend he has been for both of them, and giving himself up for their love was just a turly outstanding sacrafice! I have to say that I am so sad to see the story end, but hopefully you will have another equally amazing story in the works for us to enjoy! I wish now that I was cultured enough to know anything about operas so I could be a part of making a guess, but unfortunately, I do not! Thank you so much for sharing this amazing strory with us!!

[redwinter101]

CarolBee, it means everything. Thank you so much.

lorig, aw, sweetie. I'll look forward to it.

kpyle, thank you. For the first time in over a year I find myself with no multi-chapter on the go, so I think I'll take a little break, in the hope inspiration will strike. I'm delighted you enjoyed this one.

Red

[wpgrace]

OKKKKKKKKKX!!!

I will read the whole darn thing, slowly but surely... I will not skim... I will not jump to conclusions (much)... but I am very very nervous! And I don't know much about opera but I DO know it hardly ever ends well....

So creeping from behind the couch to read... And I'd close my eyes... but obviously that won't work...

[redwinter101]

Attagirl, Grace.

[francis]

Ouch!!! That hurt. It was the only solution, it's what Josef would do, but boy does it hurt.
Thank you for this.

[darkstarrising]

O Red,

The love that Josef had for them both was too strong to choose one over the other and so he chose himself.....

But you've captured Josef perfectly in how he would do this...the letters to Mick and Beth, each conveying a final farewell, would keep his private feelings and thoughts just that - private. But as only Josef could, he keeps his farewell from becoming too sentimental, balancing them with honest reflection (Beth was 'at turns irritating beyond belief', yet she 'wormed her way' into his heart, as well as Mick's. In the grand scheme of things, Josef's life was worth more than either of theirs, as his death would bring about the banishment of the Legion from LA.) And yet, there is the gentle plea to take care of Sarah, entrusting her to them. In his last moments, he has taken care of the three people in the world he cares most about.

Even his departure is pure Josef. He removes his jacket, snarks at the death pronouncement

"Oh for Heaven's sake," Josef rolled his eyes, "isn't it enough that I'm going to die? Must you bore me into a stupor first?"

then he ignores Laszlo, a final act of defiance, then falls into the flames

consumed in a brief, brilliant flare.

How Josef...

Your portrayal of how each of the young lovers reacts to his death is telling as well. Mick, in denial, brought to the truth by one he loves, the one for whom Josef made his sacrifice. Beth, grateful for the gift they've been given, and knowing what that gift cost.

The last line is perfect

Bathed in the afterglow of another day, whatever their future held, they would face it together, with Josef beside them, in friendship, in hope, in love.

Incredible, just incredible

[mitzie]

What an ending!!!! Josef is really gone??!! So hard to believe!! Very intense and powerful story. Josef will be smiling down upon Mick and Beth I'm sure!!!! Excellent story... Bravo!!!!

mitzie

[redwinter101]

francis, well, someone was always gonna get hurt...

dsr, thanks so much. Josef the hero - but in his own inimitable style, keeping the maudlin to a minimum. Your feedback on this story has been an absolute joy to read - again, my thanks.

mitzie, yes, he's really dead (I'm waiting for the Josefites to come after me ). Thanks for reading.

Red

[francis]

Oh, I forgot, the opera: Don Carlos by Guiseppe Verdi?

[redwinter101]

Nope. Guess again, francis.

[lorig]

Ok, I am little more stable right now. That, my friend, was perfection. I am finding my self conflicted. I am so over joyed that they are together, but heartbroken that Josef had to make the ultimate sacrifice to keep things balanced. Josef's life was definately worth more, with it he was able to bring about changes no one would have thought possible. Your Josef will forever be one of my heros. You are amazingly talented!! Thanks for the beautiful story from beginning to end.

[coco]

Oh my.

This ending is just outstanding Red. Such a strong emotional chapter to follow all the other emotional chapters that have come before it.

Josef sacrificed himself for both of them. What am amazing thing for Josef to have done and on his own terms. The letters got me again. What fabulous letters that show them both exactly what Josef thought of them and what his plan was and what he wants for their future.

I know that throughout this whole story, part of me has been dreading the ending as I so expected to be devastated over the demise of Mick or Beth. Maybe I'm being silly but I just never thought it would be the demise of Josef that I would come across (or be just as devasted over).

I have to say Red that the last line is just fabulous. Perfection.

Just wonderful Red

Opera is not my strong point so I'll have to have a think on that one.