Why? (PG)
Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:20 pm
This one is rated PG, I think.
I buried my beloved today. He's gone. He can't be gone. He's my reason for getting up each day. How dare he leave me here alone, to face each day without him? How do I go on?
I truly never thought that this day would come, I thought that he'd want to join me in forever. He didn't. Then he did. But I was too late. Why did the jet have to be grounded? Why did I have to be so far away? Twenty fucking minutes! I made it twenty minutes too late!
I feel so empty, lifeless; like the animated corpse that I am. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my body, my soul aches.
Selene and Kraven had to pull me away from the casket. All that I wanted to do was climb in and be buried with him. He was my safety net, and with him gone it's gone as well. I keep asking myself, why? Why him? Why didn't I catch his illness soon enough? Why did he wait so long to change his mind? Why is the universe so against me? To give me twenty years of happiness and then to take it away.
I hate him. I hate how he made me care again; how he made me feel alive again. I was happy, so I thought, not giving a damn about humanity. Oh, humans were okay, but so fragile, definitely not something to care about; but then he walked into my life. Why did I ever let Selene talk me into taking that damn cooking class?
I don't hate him. I love him. Jordan come back to me. I can't do this alone. I can't live without you.
I buried my beloved today. He's gone. He can't be gone. He's my reason for getting up each day. How dare he leave me here alone, to face each day without him? How do I go on?
I truly never thought that this day would come, I thought that he'd want to join me in forever. He didn't. Then he did. But I was too late. Why did the jet have to be grounded? Why did I have to be so far away? Twenty fucking minutes! I made it twenty minutes too late!
I feel so empty, lifeless; like the animated corpse that I am. My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my body, my soul aches.
Selene and Kraven had to pull me away from the casket. All that I wanted to do was climb in and be buried with him. He was my safety net, and with him gone it's gone as well. I keep asking myself, why? Why him? Why didn't I catch his illness soon enough? Why did he wait so long to change his mind? Why is the universe so against me? To give me twenty years of happiness and then to take it away.
I hate him. I hate how he made me care again; how he made me feel alive again. I was happy, so I thought, not giving a damn about humanity. Oh, humans were okay, but so fragile, definitely not something to care about; but then he walked into my life. Why did I ever let Selene talk me into taking that damn cooking class?
I don't hate him. I love him. Jordan come back to me. I can't do this alone. I can't live without you.