IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL FRESHIES!! --(PG-13) Josef
Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 12:55 am
A/N: This is another of my favorites. It was written in fun and in no way is meant to diminish the importance or our RL responsibilities. It was writtne at the insistence of Josef..and we all know how he can be. I hope you enjoy.
As always I do not own Moonlight...Just wish I did.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL FRESHIES!!
Ladies, Josef here. I am sick and tired of your Real lives interfering with your devotion to me. All I hear recently is that real life has prevented you from reading about me, or writing about me, or perhaps the most important thing, giving me your undivided attention. This has to stop. Before you all start to protest about your jobs, families and other such trivial nonsense, I am going to help you all out. Below you will find my plan for getting rid of the obstacles you all have to giving me the attention I deserve.
I. First for those of you with the pesky annoyance of children, I will provide a nanny. No need for any of my dearly devoted ladies need to change diapers, or deal with little snot nosed brats…I mean children. Besides, they should not be seen or heard.
II. Next the husband or significant other problem. Easy…Divorce. Then you can send the kids with them. Don’t worry about being lonely, you will have me. And what more do you need besides me?
III. Now those of you with Jobs. I do like productive freshies and don’t want you to not work. However, it seems that some of you are putting your jobs ahead of me. So we need to fix that. Work is now only allowed during the daytime hours when I am in the freezer anyway. And said work cannot be too demanding where you are too tired to give me your full attention at night. Also work should be 6 hours a day max. If your boss is not agreeable to these terms, well you just tell then they will be relocated to La Brea. I have some openings there.
IV. School is the next obstacle. I love my freshies to be educated. So I will not have you quitting school. However you need to go only during the day and when the work gets so demanding and takes up your evenings, I will assign someone to do it for you. You need to be fresh and ready for me in the evenings, not be worrying about your next exam or paper. Or if you rather I can talk to your teacher and have him/her give you less work. If they don’t agree to it, well… there are some teaching opportunities in the tar pits.
V. Lastly there is the issue of your mental health. I know the economy is looking bleak, I really know it. Anyway, too many of you are too preoccupied with how you are going to make ends meet, that you are not giving me your full attention. To remedy that, I will make sure your bills are paid on time. I can’t have you all worrying so much, it sours the blood. Also those of you with concerns over the health and wellbeing of a ‘loved one’ (like there are any other loved ones in your lives but Me.), I have a plan for that as well. I will make sure they get the appropriate care they need, so no need to worry about that either.
VI. For any other concerns I may have missed, like parents bugging you (for those young enough for that to matter.), there are plenty of rooms for you here at the casa. And if your parents don’t like it, well again there is a plethora of rooms for them at Le Brea.
As you can see ladies, I have thought of everything for you. Now there should be no excuse for any of you to not be around when I am. Nor any excuse for you not to give me your full and undivided attention, as it should be. I do NOT want to see anymore excuses about real life- Understood? Good, now let’s get back to some more fun things, like idolizing me.
As always I do not own Moonlight...Just wish I did.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL FRESHIES!!
Ladies, Josef here. I am sick and tired of your Real lives interfering with your devotion to me. All I hear recently is that real life has prevented you from reading about me, or writing about me, or perhaps the most important thing, giving me your undivided attention. This has to stop. Before you all start to protest about your jobs, families and other such trivial nonsense, I am going to help you all out. Below you will find my plan for getting rid of the obstacles you all have to giving me the attention I deserve.
I. First for those of you with the pesky annoyance of children, I will provide a nanny. No need for any of my dearly devoted ladies need to change diapers, or deal with little snot nosed brats…I mean children. Besides, they should not be seen or heard.
II. Next the husband or significant other problem. Easy…Divorce. Then you can send the kids with them. Don’t worry about being lonely, you will have me. And what more do you need besides me?
III. Now those of you with Jobs. I do like productive freshies and don’t want you to not work. However, it seems that some of you are putting your jobs ahead of me. So we need to fix that. Work is now only allowed during the daytime hours when I am in the freezer anyway. And said work cannot be too demanding where you are too tired to give me your full attention at night. Also work should be 6 hours a day max. If your boss is not agreeable to these terms, well you just tell then they will be relocated to La Brea. I have some openings there.
IV. School is the next obstacle. I love my freshies to be educated. So I will not have you quitting school. However you need to go only during the day and when the work gets so demanding and takes up your evenings, I will assign someone to do it for you. You need to be fresh and ready for me in the evenings, not be worrying about your next exam or paper. Or if you rather I can talk to your teacher and have him/her give you less work. If they don’t agree to it, well… there are some teaching opportunities in the tar pits.
V. Lastly there is the issue of your mental health. I know the economy is looking bleak, I really know it. Anyway, too many of you are too preoccupied with how you are going to make ends meet, that you are not giving me your full attention. To remedy that, I will make sure your bills are paid on time. I can’t have you all worrying so much, it sours the blood. Also those of you with concerns over the health and wellbeing of a ‘loved one’ (like there are any other loved ones in your lives but Me.), I have a plan for that as well. I will make sure they get the appropriate care they need, so no need to worry about that either.
VI. For any other concerns I may have missed, like parents bugging you (for those young enough for that to matter.), there are plenty of rooms for you here at the casa. And if your parents don’t like it, well again there is a plethora of rooms for them at Le Brea.
As you can see ladies, I have thought of everything for you. Now there should be no excuse for any of you to not be around when I am. Nor any excuse for you not to give me your full and undivided attention, as it should be. I do NOT want to see anymore excuses about real life- Understood? Good, now let’s get back to some more fun things, like idolizing me.
.