Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

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PNWgal
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by PNWgal »

It goes without saying I'm a great lover of dark Mick. You've captured him perfectly here, Blue.

The whole thing was just fantastically well-written, but this I LOVED - such a wonderful description of Mick's anguish and shame:
“Get out! Get out now.” My anguished tone only draws her closer. Cowering in a tight ball of muscles and torn clothing I’m wedged under a table as if it would provide protection or solace from what is happening. I’m covered in my own ooze and body fluids and drenched in sweat. My body is racked with tremors caused by the silver. Spasms start my hands vibrating and the trembling turns the blood bag into a cocktail shaker. I am so tired. My back aches and my arms are useless weights hanging at my sides. Even the coppery drink doesn’t warm me.

Now Beth knows I am a monster; an undead creature living only for my next meal of human blood. A parasite. Never aging, I bounce through time hiding my existence from everyone I meet. I am an abomination that lives in movies and on TV and in the fantasies of silly teenagers at Halloween
.

And this:
Dawn streaks in through the wood shutters on the windows filtering in just enough light to shine into the darkest secret in my soul. I’m a vampire.
Such a lovely mental image.

So very well done!
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by Kelly »

Aww...that was just heartbreaking. Beautifully written. I loved it :clapping:
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by coco »

The Coffee House brings me here for a re-read. Such a wonderful story blue. I'm always fascinated by Mick's inner thoughts and this was such a crucial moment in time for him. Angsty Mick is here in all his glory. :yes:

The fire theme running throughout this is so wonderful.
I blurted it out to the one person who I hoped would never know. I would have hid my humiliation from her at all costs. But a door left open betrayed me.
Fabulous. :thumbs:
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by greenleaf9 »

Lovely one-shot blue. :rose: The coffee house led me here. This is so heartwrenching...you've captured Mick perfectly, never a word striking the wrong note.

I love the theme of fire throughout.

Bravo! :clapping:
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by GuardianAngel »

Many thanks to the Coffee House discussion for bringing me here. I can see this being Mick's reaction. He would brood over Beth's stumbling onto his secret and, of course, blame himself. He would not be able to find anything good about it. He would see doom. He and his wife brought Beth to this place and time, have continued to endanger her. It made me think back to the first episode and his line about not wanting to see himself as a monster in someone else's eyes. Beth finding him did just that. Mick, seeing himself as a monster, could only imagine that she would see him the same way. His worst nightmare, now a reality.

You captured Mick's dark self-loathing perfectly, blue!
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by redwinter101 »

The final scene from OoTP was the moment I fell for Mick St. John. Hard. There have been many stories that have picked up where that scene left off and this is a wonderful interpretation. I love that your Mick doesn't kid himself about his own reality - he knows what being a vampire means and he knows what it could mean for Beth to know.

But it is his grief, his fear that he has lost her before they've really had a chance to get started, that I love most here:
bluedahlia3 wrote:the scars can’t be seen by the naked eye.
It's one of the reasosn why I think it worked so well that Mick was was just so damn beautiful - all the darkness, and the scars, were hidden. To the outside world, all was calm and serene.
bluedahlia3 wrote:Can I save her? I can’t even save me.
While this line fits beautifully in this story, it's also a wonderful evocation of Mick's entire view - of himself, of Beth, of their chances for happiness.

I love this, blue. Really love it.

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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by Luxe de Luxe »

wow.... the tone of this is so bleak, Mick at his most despairing. I loved the click, click, click of the flame, like the ticking of a clock, counting down the major turning points of his life, until we arrive here, and this is the biggest turning point. If Beth turns away from him here, after finding out this, after the years he's spent, watching and protecting her, he's doomed. This was perfectly conveyed.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by Fleur de Lisa »

This is when my all-consuming love affair began with Mick St. John and you have captured his anguish beautifully. Gorgeous piece of writing.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Wow! Thanks to all who read and enjoyed this piece. :dracula:

mitzie - I'm glad you enjoyed the play of the click and the flame. It was a joy to write. .

immortalbeloved - He does come out stronger after, doesn't he? Thanks for reading.

PNWgal - Mick is really in a bad place here, isn't he?

kelly - Thanks so much for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

coco - The whole fire thing running thru ML just gripped me. I'm glad you found it interesting too!

greenleaf - Thanks for your comments and enjoying my twisted sense of plot.

GA - It's a good thing Josef can snap Mick out of it isn't it? Otherwise...holy cow! Thanks!

Red - Mick finds salvation in Beth...doesn't he? Good thing.

luxe de luxe - When I started writing I thought stopping and starting the story was either going to work well or flop...I'm glad you thought it worked.

Fleur de Lisa - Thanks so much your your kind thoughts. This was a interesting challenge to work on.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by cassysj »

I came here from the Coffee House. This was an amazing piece. It was struck me as very careless of Mick to leave that door open. This was a fascinating look into Mick's mind.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by jen »

The Mick here is rather dark. A Moonlight vampire playing with fire is a little, well, unsettling. He is far closer to that man who begged Coraline to kill him after he was first turned.

Poor Mick.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by jen »

Hello, Blue

I was just here for a reread.

You imagry is stunning, as alays. You ability to weave a rich emotional context, capturing the angst and pathos of the characters is just fabulous.

And the door is an amazing touch!!!

Thank you!

Jenna

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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by Moonlighter »

I absolutely love the fire imagery throughout this story. I like how you used it to tick off the different turning (no pun intended) points in Mick's life.

About the door thing -- I do think he left it opened subconsciously, but when you think about it, he sort of left the door open for the rest of his life to walk in...

bluedahlia3 wrote:Dawn streaks in through the wood shutters on the windows filtering in just enough light to shine into the darkest secret in my soul. I’m a vampire.
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by lynnrxgal »

Blue, I know that I have read this before and please forgive me for not commenting up until now. I was introduced to ML at episode 4 (Fever) and it totally blew me away. But this ep (OoTP), and the scene in Mick's apartment that you so aptly referred ("I'm a vampire"), grabbed my heart and soul, and I never looked back. Thank you so much for your interpretation of the events. It seems as though you knew more than the writers when it comes to what was going on in Mick's mind when he was flicking that lighter.

Thank you, albeit a few years delayed!
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Re: Forged From Fire - Champagne Challenge #103 PG-13

Post by allegrita »

Blue, I love your stories and I'm so glad they've popped up to the top. You have such a wonderful style. :hug:
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