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Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 9:33 pm
by Lilly
Author's note: I can't believe it's been almost 11 months since I last posted in my office. It hasn't been for lack of trying. Much to my surprise, these 7 lines came together out of the blue -- and in a voice, believe it or not, I've never written before.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of MOONLIGHT. They speak to me and inspire me, and sometimes they follow me home. No copyright infringement is ever intended.

Rating: PG


Lifeline


Don’t tell me “no.” I’m not going to let you push me away.

I just found you and there’s still so much I don’t understand.

I shot a man for you, damn it, and I’m still not sure how it happened, but there’s one thing I know for certain – you don’t get to throw your life away after I saved it.

Fate brought us together for a reason. I don’t know why we have this connection, but I’m not ready to lose you.

And you’re not ready to die – not now… not like this.

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:55 pm
by allegrita
I am so incredibly happy to see this. :hearts: Not just because I'm thrilled to see a new piece from you (although I am! :yahoo: ), but because this is just perfectly Beth, and it fits into the story as if Jill Blotevogel had written it for her. :rose:

There's a moment during the bathtub scene where they decided during editing not to use a short bit of dialogue from Beth, but you can tell she's saying something to Mick as she holds his face in her hands. I remember Jill saying that it was a good call to take it out, because it was something lame about Beth donating blood all the time, so Mick shouldn't worry about taking hers. No, what Beth would really say to Mick at that point is what you have given us. She would speak in that forceful, quiet way she has when she's absolutely determined. And how like her to hit him with the very words he'd just used to her. Mick was so noble and self-sacrificing that she needed to shake him up to make him realize that it was selfish of him to refuse her offer... and it's perfectly in character for her to tell him that he owes her his life, and he doesn't get to throw it away so lightly.

This one's going straight into my personal canon. :bulb:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:16 pm
by darkstarrising
Lovely, Lilly, and a perfect Beth :rose:

She's been through hell and back thinking Mick had been killed and now finding him 'alive' but on death's door there's nothing she wouldn't do for him. When he pushes her away, you've painted a picture of how all those emotions came to the surface. Fear, relieve, anger at being pushed away only make Beth more determined than ever. :rose:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:01 am
by MickLifeCrisis
ITA with Alle... every word. This is of course what Beth was saying to Mick while she held his face. It's what made Mick sit up and accept her offer of blood. Pitch perfect. :twothumbs:

Thank you! :thanks:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:17 am
by cassysj
This is absolutely what Beth would say. No question about it.

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:03 pm
by Lilly
Thank you so much, ladies! :ghug: Your comments truly mean the world to me. :rose:

It's funny -- Beth has never really spoken to me before. I'm not sure why, but as much as I love her as a character, her voice has never been that clear to me. :shrug: I guess she was waiting for the perfect moment to make herself heard. :laugh:

I'm just thrilled that you all feel that this rings true. I think, in that moment, she was feeling so many things -- relief, fear, confusion. Even so, her tenacity was going to cut through all of it. She wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. :blinksmile:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 3:06 am
by nutmegger911
Lilly, I really like this. You captured Beth's gritty determination so well.

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:05 am
by Shadow
This is so perfectly Beth's voice and Beth's thoughts at this moment. You've really put every expression that was on her face into words. I especially liked the echo of not like this at the end. :rose:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:59 pm
by librarian_7
Can't believe I missed this! I'm glad, no, wait, that's not nearly a strong enough word. Let's try just freakin' delighted to see something from you, dear Lilly.

And as always, it's spot on, and perfectly written. :hug: :teeth: :flowers: :hyper2: :notworthy:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:40 pm
by Lilly
Thanks, NM! I'm so glad you think so. :rose:

Thanks so much, Shadow! :hug: I'm really glad you like the "echo" at the end. I was sure of that line before I had a handle on any of the others. I think that when Mick said it to Beth, it made no sense to her. She just had to throw it back at him. :teeth:

Lucky - thank you so much! :smooch: :hearts: Even with just seven lines, I have to admit it felt good to exercise those neglected writing "muscles." :snicker:

Re: Lifeline - Champagne Challenge #159 - PG

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2014 4:30 am
by diane31
Oh yes, it's just perfect! Totally what our Beth is thinking and feeling! Thank you so much! :rose: :heart: