Thirst (Challenge #157) --PG-13

[librarian_7]

AN: The usual disclaimers. Thanks for the work on this from my two lovely betas, Allegrita and Lilly.

Thirst

Being a vampire sucks. Yeah, I know. I’ve said it before. It was a bad joke then, and it’s a bad joke now. Every time any vampire under 100 says it, it’s a bad joke. The ones over 100…they just roll their eyes. There are only so many jokes, and so many times they can hear them, and they’ve heard them all, a thousand times. Or maybe it’s that when they get to that age, it’s just not funny anymore.

But on the other hand, it’s true. I don’t know if I can explain this, but being a vampire—it doesn’t just suck. It’s all about sucking. Because it’s all about thirst. We call it The Thirst, or the Red Thirst, or a dozen other names. When we talk about it.
Most of the time, though, we don’t talk about it, because we’re too busy living it. I sometimes think that a human just couldn’t understand. You say you’ve been thirsty? I’ve seen what you call thirst. You go out, mow the lawn on a sunny afternoon, sweat a lot, and can’t wait to chug down that cold beer you’ve got stashed in the fridge. Or you run around a tennis court, or a football field, for an hour or two, and can’t wait to hit the Gatorade.

Not even close.

If you don’t get that beer, or that Gatorade, do you start ripping people’s heads off? Do you give serious consideration to tearing someone’s beating heart out of their chest, and sinking your teeth in it to get every drop before it stops twitching in your hand?

Didn’t think so.

I remember what it was like to crave alcohol, and I’m thinking that comes closest. That burn in your gut, the throb in your temple that says you’ve got to have a drink, just so you can stand to go on. I see humans like that all the time—sprawled in alleys, huddled over barstools, with no thought for anything but that next drink. Where to get it, how it will feel hitting their gullets. They’re the ones who might understand.
But there’s one big difference. For vampires, the blood doesn’t destroy our bodies. It heals us, makes us stronger, faster, better. I heard a guy once, who’d just snorted some meth, say that it was like the world came into sharper focus on the drug. That’s kind of what blood does for a vamp.

On the other hand, whatever it may do for our bodies, it really does a number on our souls.

What, you didn’t think a vampire could be concerned about his soul? I was raised Catholic, I had that stuff hammered into me for the first 18 years of my life. Fell away from it, once I joined the Army in ’41, and after the War, I had other things on my mind, right up until Coraline. Then I had nothing on my mind but her, and look where that got me.

It’s funny. We talk about how thirst burns, and that’s no joke. If I don’t get blood, my body temperature rises, and it’s like something is burning me from the inside. Like a fever. Something that even being shoved into a tub of ice wouldn’t cure. Only blood. And yet, it seems like a lot of vampires end up being destroyed, not by the fire inside, but by flames outside. I’ve heard stories…Josef can tell some pretty grisly ones, when he’s in the right mood. And I’ve seen things for myself, things I can never unsee.

Right now, I’m watching those flames finish off a rogue. If it weren’t for the stake I put through his chest, he’d be trying his best to kick his way out of that fire. Once the fire starts, though, even if he could get out, he’d be ruined.

He was already ruined. The thirst got into his head, and consumed him.

You’re probably thinking, “why do you watch?” I mean, I could walk away. Beth is waiting for me a few yards from here. I hope she’s waiting, anyway. Wouldn’t blame her if she ran. It’d be the smart thing to do.

Why do I watch? Because I have to. Yeah, the guy was a rogue, and he killed a bunch of people—people who shouldn’t have had to die. Who wouldn’t have had to die, if his sire had even known he existed, and that he needed to be trained. But it didn’t work out like that, and my responsibility was to hunt him down, and stop him.

I feel sorry for the guy. I do, but I’m killing him anyway. I could have been like that. Any of us could have been like that, and if it weren’t for Coraline…I can’t really watch someone going up in flames without thinking of her, and how it ended. But it had to end, for her, and for this guy.

So the least I can do is watch him die.

Then I’m going to go home and get some blood. It’s been a thirsty kind of night.

Like I said, being a vampire sucks.

[darkstarrising]

OK, I just flat out love this, Lucky

The cadence of Mick's speech, his choice of words - I could hear him in my head as I read this.

Thirst - we humans really don't have a clue. I really liked the analogy between blood and alcohol, how the vamp burns from within for blood. Without it, he can't survive. Humans burn for alcohol, but the effect is the opposite. Too much of it and they die. Yet there is still a price vampires pay for their dependence on blood:

On the other hand, whatever it may do for our bodies, it really does a number on our souls.

And Mick is surely not alone in worrying about that price.

Love the segue from the metaphoric burning to an actual one - the rogue vamp being incinerated. Mick is doing what he has to, but stays and watches, bearing witness to another's passing. True, had it not been for Coraline, Mick wouldn't have become a vampire. Yet had Coraline abandoned her fledgling, Mick could very well have gone the way of the rogue.

Great answer to the challenge, Lucky!!

[MickLifeCrisis]

Oh wow! Excellent! I heard every word in my head from Mick himself. Perfect Mick. And probably just what he would have been thinking at that moment.

Great job, Lucky!

[allegrita]

This is one of those wonderful stories that fill in a big hole left by the show. We really needed a peek into Mick's soul when he was watching poor Dr. Pollack die. But for some reason, I don't think anyone has told it to us till now. And how wonderfully you've captured his thoughts! It makes perfect sense, and isn't it just like him to try to describe a vampire's need for blood in a way that a human might possibly understand?

[cassysj]

I missed this! This is wonderful, perfect Mick.

[francis]

I missed it too. Love the explanation why Mick watches the poor doctor burn. It reminds him of Coraline and what he did to her. I also love how he tries to explain the Thirst. As others said, this is perfect Mick voice down to the cadence of his speech.

[allegrita]

I love it when you get into Mick's head. You really get the noir, world-weary, dark humor of him.

[darkstarrising]

Back for a re-read, Lucky and love this even more!! This line drew me in:

I feel sorry for the guy. I do, but I’m killing him anyway. I could have been like that. Any of us could have been like that, and if it weren’t for Coraline…I can’t really watch someone going up in flames without thinking of her, and how it ended. But it had to end, for her, and for this guy.

Mick's doing what he has to ...putting a rogue down for the safety of others. Still, how could he not think of Coraline? What he did to her again was something he had to do, for the safety of a child. But when she burned, a part of his soul burned with her.

[MickLifeCrisis]

What an amazing Mick voice over this would have made. And what a smooth transition from explaining about the blood thirst and its corresponding burn within a vampire, to what goes through Mick's mind when he has to put a rogue vamp down, by fire.

A great look inside Mick's head. And soul.

[francis]

I'm gladly revisiting this. This time I thought watching the poor rogue is like watching an execution, you know. It's your responsibility but that doesn't mean it's easy. Mick knows all about hard choices.

[allegrita]

This reminds me, also, of the execution scene in Sonata, when Josef said they don't have to watch the Monaghans die, and Mick said, "Yeah...we do." I think it says a world of things about Mick's moral compass that he does need to watch the deaths he's responsible for. It sucks to be the guy who has to do those things. Mick knows that these killings must be done for the safety of all his kind. And he pays the price for his responsibility, by witnessing their deaths. I'm sure Josef thinks he's wallowing unnecessarily, and maybe he is, in a way. But I see it as him paying tribute to them, giving them a sort of honor.

And now that I think of it, maybe every time he stays to watch, he's making up for the fact that he didn't stay and watch Coraline burn. Because we all know how that turned out.

[Ella713]

Absolutely wonderful read!! I can see this so vividly in my mind. Mick really felt bad for this man who only was trying to help someone in need.

[GuardianAngel]

Sometimes satisfying the thirst ravages the soul. I can see that being true. For some it would mean penance is needed. Mick falls in to that catagory. Watching the burn pays respect and reminds him that it could be any one of them. There but for the Grace of God go I. For a good Catholic boy like Mick it would weigh heavy.

Thank you Lucky for this insightful gem.