redwinter101 wrote:I hate that thinking of you causes me pain when you are the joy in my life. I hate that they have done this to us.
Okay, this just about killed me. I loved both Day 3 and Day 7, but ... OMG.
allegrita wrote:For all his courage and strength, for all his skill and experience in fighting, I don't think Mick is really a warrior. He tends to wait that split second too long in the hope that his adversary can be redeemed--and that's why he gets beat up so much. It's one of the things I love most about him... and what makes this situation so unbearable for him.
Alle -- I can't recall where I had this discussion, but I will never forget after DF and AD, we discussed the fact that Mick gets beat up so often because he just can't believe such evil in people and he seems to wait to see if they will realize the error of their ways and do right. They never do. And the pattern just continued through the ML series. Yes, Beth is the warrior and wears the crown well.
Just beautiful, Red. ML Red
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There is a season two....you bring Mick so vividly to life! No offense to the original authors of Moonlight, but, your season two is better written than season one. That projector in my head has no problem seeing and hearing him. The vulnerable lover writes on day three. In day seven we hear the vampire begin to growl; he lacks patience, looking for a throat to slash.
mitzie, thank you - I'm so happy you're enjoying them.
alle, indeed it is Beth who is the warrior, not Mick. She is capable of a ruthlessness that escapes him (most of the time....). The thought of Mick losing Beth just fills me with horror - for precisely the reasons you set out so eloquently; if he were finally to believe that he isn't somehow cursed, that he can be happy, and then to have that taken from him... oy, just unimaginable.
ML,
seamus, I'm so glad it's not just me with a projector in my head. Of course it's a little wonky at times... but it's there nonetheless.
I've been on surveillance all day and all night and it's given me plenty of time to think, mostly about my dad. His face still seems so clear, so sharp, even now after all this time. I think about him and my mom most days, sometimes with a smile, but always with a little sadness. I miss them - and I miss the time I didn't get to spend with them. I wish they were here and that they could meet you.
My dad was a pretty amazing guy but then I guess all sons think that about their dads. In so many ways he was a product of his time, born in a dying century, raised to be a husband who provided for his family. He fought in a war when he was still just a teenager, barely more than a boy, survived the depression, hard times and happy times, yet he still managed to create a home that was always full of warmth and love. Even with the rose-coloured benefit of hindsight, I can see what a wonderful husband and father he was.
I'll never forget what he said to me when I got caught pulling Becky Cartwright's braids in the 8th grade. I thought I was in big trouble, but he sat me down and told me, "Son, if you're really lucky, you'll spend your life surrounded by women. So it's a good idea to learn how to treat them." Looking back, there was a twinkle in his eye - I guess he knew I was sweet on Becky and didn't know what to do about it.
I wonder what he'd make of the man I am now - an adult, a husband. A vampire. I know I told you that I had to keep away from my family because I was a danger to them, but there was always more to it than that. I couldn't bear the thought of my father looking at me with anything other than unconditional love. What if he was afraid of me? What if he couldn't look me in the eye? What if he looked at me and no longer saw his son?
I remember his advice to me on the eve of my wedding to Coraline. He told me, "Never forget that you have a duty, to provide for her, to protect her and always, always to put her needs before your own. Marriage isn't easy, son. You've found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and now you have to set about making her happy and hope she does the same for you. You've grown into a fine man and I'm proud to call you my son." For him to be proud of me, with a tear in his eye, was such a gift. Father to son. Neither of us knew it was the last time we'd see each other.
I love to imagine that if he met me now, and you, he'd say the same thing. I hope so. I really hope so.
I think about being a good husband to you - you have to know that I want that more than anything. There are times I know I'll let you down, but I will always try to make it right, to love you and care for you, no matter what. But I'll never be a father - you and I will never have a child of our own. We've never really talked about it. I know I've avoided the subject and I think you've probably done the same - but we'll have to tackle it sooner or later. Do you want kids? How do you feel about not being able to have a child with me? Or perhaps the question should be, how would you feel about raising a child with me? I'd got used to accepting I'd never have a real family and now I want it so much it burns inside. You and I have become a family so maybe there is a chance for us to have a child, some way, somehow.
Anyway, my love, it's late - the sun's already up and I should rest. More surveillance today and I need to be sharp. I'll tell you more about that tomorrow.
Agh. Crushing. No wonder Beth was in tears reading thru these things. All the things he couldn't SAY, he said in these letters.
The part about his parents always hooks me... when he said that on the show, it seemed like SUCH a big deal. I mean, Alex delivered the line in a very low key way, but still, the way he said it... there was just an aura of epic sadness about it. You picked up on that in Anniversary and now you've gone there again...
And the wedding advice, about being a good husband to Coraline... kinda makes one choke a little. He was. She wasn't.
And then you hit us with his desire for Elliot in the very same letter??? Man! I am putty at this point. Beth's absence is bringing him out, I'll tell ya. He's laying it all on the line. I bet, had she not found the letters, as he kinda said, he'd've never shown em to her... this is so PERSONAL. I feel like I'm spying. I bet Beth did too...
God, Red... I'm mush here. And he is one helluva man. A vamp too, but one helluva man.
Banner by redwinter101. I miss you, Beloved.
Awesome avatar by the awesome, clever, and gracious Lilly.
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. Lilly Tomlin
've been on surveillance all day and all night and it's given me plenty of time to think, mostly about my dad. His face still seems so clear, so sharp, even now after all this time. I think about him and my mom most days, sometimes with a smile, but always with a little sadness. I miss them - and I miss the time I didn't get to spend with them. I wish they were here and that they could meet you.
So lovely yet heartbreakingly sad. You get a sense of the sadness Mick carries around with him every day in this one sentence. So much emotion here when thinking about the loved ones we've lost and keeping them with us in whatever way we can.
I remember his advice to me on the eve of my wedding to Coraline. He told me, "Never forget that you have a duty, to provide for her, to protect her and always, always to put her needs before your own. Marriage isn't easy, son. You've found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and now you have to set about making her happy and hope she does the same for you. You've grown into a fine man and I'm proud to call you my son." For him to be proud of me, with a tear in his eye, was such a gift. Father to son. Neither of us knew it was the last time we'd see each other.
Love this little snippet of history. His father was happy for him and wanted to see him happy. He was proud of him and this makes me smile yet I'm sad that he ultimately never got to be happy with Coraline. That makes me sad for Mick.
His writing to Beth about his thoughts on being a father and wondering what her thoughts on the subject are. They would have obviously avoided these subjects face to face and it's so nice to see that he does think about them and more importantly - wants all these things with Beth. He wants there future to be everything it possibly can be and I love that.
"Maybe it was her blood in my veins that let me feel her. The beating of her very living heart. Or maybe, we've always been connected." Mick & Beth - Moonlight
As someone who's absolutely in love with their father, I adored this letter.
One of the great things about good parents is that they love us unconditionally, no matter what we do. I'd like to think Mick's father would have been proud of the man Mick became, in spite of being a vampire.
This got me grabbing for a tissue:
I wonder what he'd make of the man I am now - an adult, a husband. A vampire. I know I told you that I had to keep away from my family because I was a danger to them, but there was always more to it than that. I couldn't bear the thought of my father looking at me with anything other than unconditional love. What if he was afraid of me? What if he couldn't look me in the eye? What if he looked at me and no longer saw his son?
A son would want his father to be proud of him - not be afraid of him.
And...I always had this feeling Mick would be a wonderful father - and there's more ways to build a family than giving birth.
This one, I really loved.
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"It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." - George Eliot
"The dogs may bark, but the caravan passes on." - old Arab proverb
"Do the best you can do. Love many. Trust few." - Jack Ingram
Another great one, Red. Interesting that he thinks about his parents most days. Do you think that was true before he and Beth came together, or just since?
And I agree with PNW... I like to think his dad would have still loved him and been proud of him.
MickLifeCrisis Many thanks to Twilightdew for my banner and avi.
Another revealing letter from Mick. I think it was for the most part fear that really kept him away from his family. Fear that his father wouldn't accept him because he was a vampire and that would have crushed him because he loves his father so very much!! Beautiful letter!!!!
I've read and reread these letters and still they remain moving and powerful. There is such a realistic progression of emotion from the early ones which are short and all about love and loss and sadness, to the day 7 one in which anger finally shows up, to the day 32 letter which is reflective and introspective. In this one, possibly my favorite so far, he writes so movingly of his family in the past and his hopes for family in the future. There is not a false note in any of these letters. I try to imagine Beth as she is reading them and what she must feel. The year apart was awful, but to come home to these letters, to learning things Mick would probably never tell her if life was "normal", well if there was any way to compensate for that year, these letters are it.
This is the letter where he truly lets her in. This is the one where he lays bare not just his feelings for her, but his feelings. Period. His pride in his dad just shines through his words...and his profound grief, too. The sense of loss will always be sharp. Family obviously means so very much to Mick.
Talking to Beth about being a son, and about his dreams of somehow becoming a parent with her... oh, there I go again.
And he started it with "Hey."
Mick's (Red's) writing is musical and lyrical. It rises and falls like his beloved jazz. Somber and low, exaltant and proud. I love him as written by you!
Red -- awesome, again. Unfortunately, I lost my dad at an early age (he was only 45) but until the day he died, I never felt any less than his number one. I know Mick must have been devastated to lose that connection and be too scared that his father would no longer love him unconditionally. But from the way Mick described him, I think he was mistaken. To share all that with Beth speaks volumes. Also that he would be so willing to try to be a good father himself if Beth is willing (and why wouldn't she??).
Thanks so much for the peek into the past. ML still Red!
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Oh, Red, Red, Red. I want to hug the breath out of you. These are so very lovely. I can hear Mick's voice in these letters, these words. They are so true to character and what I feel he would be thinking about as he goes on with his Bethless days.
Part of me rejoices as I read them because I already know they WILL be together again - this suffering is not for naught. But part of me cries because I know the huge price they will pay.
Red
