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Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:22 pm
by francis
Oh, she’s a feisty one, this Sally. Almost reminds me of someone else, an internet reporter with blonde hair.
“I thought you were meant to be protecting me from the rest of the camp, not them from me,”
Brilliant!

The army talk makes Slade almost a human being. He’s been slipping for a while now, maybe he’s miscast as the villain.

Love how Josef gets rid of his bindings and thus Weston is forced to help him. It takes all night, poor prisoners.

Josef isn’t heartless enough for the task, and I like how you achieve us feeling with him.

 like this chapter a lot. But we still don’t know what the Colonel is and what he wants of them. :mdrama:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 9:45 pm
by librarian_7
O.Z., Penina, thanks. Yes, it's not going to be easy for Josef as this story moves along. He'll have some hard things to do, and choices to make.

MS--I can't tell you what your comments mean to me. That I have drawn you in, means that I'm achieving some of my goals as a storyteller. And that's wonderful!

francis, yes, there are still things to be learned, and maybe Josef will share some information with Sally...or not. We'll see.

Thanks again for reading!

Lucky

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 8:32 pm
by greenleaf9
Aww, Josef burying Iris is touching, how sad...Josef trying to pretend he's burying her just because it's practical. :hankie:

I adore Sally--such a wonderful OC. A very strong, smart woman, in a dangerous situation.

This is such a awesome story Lucky. Please, would you send me a PM when you post future updates? :hug:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 9:01 pm
by librarian_7
You got it, gl...you're on my list.

Lucky

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 11:29 pm
by greenleaf9
librarian_7 wrote:You got it, gl...you're on my list.

Lucky
Thanks! :hug:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Mon May 04, 2009 1:44 am
by redwinter101
Mmm, so things take a dark turn. I'm intrigued to find out more about the Colonel and Josef's conversation with him. And Sally continues to prove her resourcefulness.

But this was the kicker:
librarian_7 wrote:The first shovelful of dirt to hit the body was always the hardest, Josef thought. It had to be done. This time, and the multitude of other times he’d performed this task. He almost wished he were the heartless monster he’d been accused of being, so many times and places. If he could have walked away and left this body to be tossed out like garbage, perhaps he would have. But he’d been taught in a hard school that there were obligations to be carried out. And if nothing else, six feet of earth and stone would surely keep anyone from finding telltale marks on a body. That’s it. It was practical, just practical. The memory of that white skin, those beautiful china blue eyes, had nothing to do with it.

Josef tossed the shovelful of dirt, on her feet. No reason you had to start with the face, after all.
Just beautiful, and incredibly moving.

Red

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:31 pm
by coco
WOW. What a chapter Lucky.

Still loving Sally. She's strong and smart and fiesty. As others have mentioned - she reminds me a little of someone else. :snicker:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:54 pm
by Phoenix
“Mr. Constantine,” Sally said shyly, “shouldn’t we cover her face? Before—well. Before.” She held out the scrap of lace handkerchief she’d picked up earlier, and extended it to him.

Josef twisted the fabric in his hands. “Yes. She’d—she’d appreciate that kindness, Mrs. Watkins.” And he dropped one last time into the grave, to spread the lace over Iris Beaumont’s still face. No one heard him breathe to her, “Goodbye, sweetheart. Rest well.” This time he ignored Weston’s hand, and regained his place by the grave alone.
:hankie:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 5:18 pm
by wollstonecraft61
I love this. I imagine Slade like some species of tumbleweed, blowing around with the wind.
“I can understand how you’d be curious.” Slade twisted the piece of grass in his hand. For the product of a long summer in the sun, and a dry autumn, it was remarkably resilient. He had no real wish to go into the thirty-four years of bad decisions and lousy luck that had brought him to where—to what—he was now. “The long story isn’t very pretty. Short version, I got into it pretty much the same way I’ve gotten into everything. I drift. And when you drift, you don’t have much control over what you drift into.”

The detail you provide, even commenting on the taste of the biscuit and Sally's thoughts on how to make it better.
Sally covered her thoughts by renewing her assault on the unpalatable biscuit. If only they’d used a little of the salt from the beans in the dough, she thought.

Finally, I can hear the song, smell the fire, imagine the darkness. Great job with imagery.
From across the way, she could hear the horses shift and snort, and somewhere a guitar played and a few voices sang a sad camp song. She watched the smoke drifting into the air, scenting the night air. It was pleasant, peaceful
.

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 4:43 am
by Shadow
Slade is quite an interesting character too ... nice to get a bit of a look inside his mind. I really liked Sally's interaction with him. She seems to realize what a drifter he is, and that a little push might just set him on to her side. Even with the situation looking this dire, Sally's outlook remains marvelously practical.

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Thu Jun 03, 2010 2:04 pm
by redwinter101
This chapter has the sense of recuperation - of Josef starting to gather his resources and form a plan. He's had time to think - and I think the time spent digging poor Iris's grave is a help in that regard, as well as giving him a chance to open the chink in Slade's armour just a little further.

Just as at the first read, the moment of Iris's burial remains poignant and touching.

Red

ETA: to fix typo, because grace and grave are not the same thing at all... :roll:

Re: Dust --Chapter 6 PG-13

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 3:13 am
by librarian_7
Thanks so much, Red. For me, one of the interesting things is that when I see a new comment, it often prompts me to go back and re-read the chapter, or story, or whatever. Which is fun!

Lucky