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Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:38 am
by Raven
Thank goodness for Josef...really...he comforts me...I mean Mick...through most of the installment.

I'm completely surprised that the founder of the Legion is a vampire...and talk about ancient. Laszlo and Josef's meeting was a clash of wills and I just fell completely in love with Josef right here ...
"We both know that if your 'perfect foot soldiers' discovered they were in service to a vampire, the Legion would crumble. Centuries of order would be over."
"Have a care, Josef. That sounded like a threat."
"Oh good. It was. Knowledge is power. I have both and I will use them."
Josef is really magnificent in this installment. He is fighting for his family, because that's what Mick and Beth are to him...and he was brilliant. Regardless that he feels like he's failed.

And I'm so glad Beth had taken heed of Josef's request. Chilling passage...
His voice, his stance were filled with quiet menace and for the first time in his presence, she felt like prey.
Love love love this...
safe in the arms of the only woman he had ever thought of as a friend.
I'm wandering in the dark, Red...
I know you're smiling because that's exactly where you want me. :lol:

Fantastic...absolutely fantastic!

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:49 am
by Moonlightsonata
Great chapter. Really a surprise to find that a Vampire is directing the Legion. Or do I have that confused? What kind of bargain has been made that has Josef so afraid?
We will just have to wait. Another cliff hanger. Thank you.

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:29 am
by MoonlitRose
Red,

I'm now caught up on your story and holy buckets batman, :bat2: what a story it is!!!! You do an absolutely awesome job writing Mick Beth and Josef. :worship:

Josef certainly is not often "out-manuvered". I particularly liked how you conveyed the grave nature of the spot Josef is finding himself in. "He knew that he only had just over three months to come up with a new plan. Failure would mean making good on his agreement with Laszlo and here, safe in the arms of the only woman he had ever thought of as a friend, that seemed like far too high a price to pay."

I'm looking forward to your next update, and learning more of your story, as the clock continues to tick toward the one year anniversary mark. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 4:04 am
by catravers
About time you posted this Red! That teaser last week was real mean you know. Ok,ok I forgive you only because that was a fantastic chapter.

We knew Beth couldn't leave it alone. She is like a dog with a bone. Lucky Josef was there this time.

Josef seems to be going through the wringer. Feeling like he has been backed in a corner and dreading the outcome. I don't like the sound of that.
A few ideas have popped in my head regarding this possible deal with Laszlo and none of them good.

Hope you will update soon....pretty please?????? :fingerscrossed:

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:02 am
by allegrita
Oh, man, Red.

You absolutely could've knocked me over with a feather when I read that the founder of the Legion is a vampire. An ancient teenage vampire, no less. Why do I think that if we looked at Renaissance paintings and sculpture we'd see Laszlo? And Oh looooord... he outmaneuvered Josef. My heart sinks; my blood runs cold. This is Bad.

And yet Josef shows up just in time to save Beth and Pete. Have they ruined everything with this crazy foray in the middle of the night? Did Josef just blow another safety measure for himself in order to save Beth? I am starting to dread the next couple of chapters... :eyes:

And yet I can't help but root for Beth...gallant to the end, going on the stakeout because she couldn't talk Pete out of it. And why is she so sure that now she'll be able to make him stop?! Uh-uh. Pete is a news guy from the old school. He's not the type to stop because Beth asks him to. Oh dear, I am soooo afraid.

And Mick...poor Mick. He's on the verge. The guy is stretched so tight, he has no reserves left. He's got three more months till the deadline...but can he last that long? :Mickangel:

Red, I'm going to need a tranquilizer when this story ends, I just know it. And I don't have any... :confused2: So I might have to settle for a really, really good cry. :hankie:

I'm praying for all of them and I'm absolutely scared to death for them. But somehow still full of hope...or maybe faith that whatever you do to them (and to us), you'll make it worth the journey.

But I'm starting to need a blanket.

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:02 pm
by redwinter101
Raven, I love you - I really do :hearts: . Thank you for the Josef comments; this really is his chapter. Although there has been a lot of M/B, I have always described it as a M/B/J story and hopefully that's starting to become more apparent. As for wandering in the dark, yes, I confess, that is precisely where I want you to be. Now I just have to make sure I remember to turn the lights on.

Moonlightsonata, thank you. And you aren't confused - Laszlo is indeed both a vampire and the leader of the legion. I didn't mean for this to be too terrible a cliffhanger - just moving the story along :). Thanks for your continued reading.

Moonlitrose, :wave: it's so lovely to have a new reader. I'm delighted you're enjoying the story so far.

catravers, mmmm, I'm intrigued by the ideas you have about Josef's bargain. I'm sure one of them will be correct! As for the next update, I always update as soon as I possibly can - once the next chapter's complete, I'll post it straight away.

alle, I love the idea of Laszlo being in a Renaissance artwork - that's precisely the kind of influence and longevity I was aiming for. Josef's doing his best, Beth's holding strong and Mick's reaching the end of his resources - the end has to come soon. I know this story scares you and I love that you keep reading in spite of that. Not long to go now....*hands alle a blanket*.

Red

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 2:45 pm
by Lupine
Intriguing chapter!

I have always seen Josef as very different from Mick. For Josef his survival and keeping "the secret" are the top priorities. He does love Mick and will try to help - up to a point. I can totally see Josef doing his best to get the outcome Mick wants while at the same time having a back-up plan in place that would protect Josef's interests but that Mick would see as a betrayal. In Josef's hierarchy Beth (or human Beth) is probably the most expendable. So... what deal has Josef struck? He certainly doesn't seem comfortable with the possible outcome.

Pete is an interesting character. You write him well without giving too much away. Is he to be trusted or not?

Finally, I am a total Mick/Beth shipper. I often lose interest in stories that separate the two characters for any length of time but this one has maintained my interest. Through their separation you have kept the intensity of their feelings for each other true and powerful.

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:46 pm
by dreamcatcher
Well, this update was definitely worth waiting for!

I love how you wrote Josef here. Fascinating to see his supreme self-assurance knocked. Though he’s not finished yet, I think!

And Beth didn’t lie after all; she did stop but just couldn’t let Pete go on the stake out on his own. And there would have been no one there to save just him otherwise. As it is, Josef has now had to strike an uneasy bargain with Laszlo. So he can’t fail again or there’s a huge price to be paid. So intriguing! Love it!

Beth seems almost calm in her acceptance that Josef will do his utmost and thereafter it’s just her and Mick facing the backlash of the legion together. Mick, on the other hand is unravelling quickly. He so needs a Beth hug like Josef had!

Brilliant work! Can’t wait for the next chapter!

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 4:18 pm
by redwinter101
Lupine, I was so nervous about separating Mick and Beth for such a large chunk of the story (for precisely the reasons you state) so I'm especially happy to get that lovely feedback. As for Josef, well, he's always the man with the plan. I agree completely that keeping the secret is his number one priority (and ITA about his hierarchy) - I'm just not so sure he'll be ready to throw Mick under a bus....

dreamcatcher, thank you :hug: - I'm glad it was worth the wait. Mmmm, a Mick-hug - I'll have to see what I can do about that.

Red

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:26 pm
by RangerCM
This chapter is truly a treasure. This whole story has been a masterpiece, but something about this one...... the rich descriptions, the emotion conveyed. I'm not really sure, but it touched me.

Beautiful.....just beautiful. :hearts:

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:34 pm
by lorig
:woohoo: Wow,Wow, Wow! Incredible update Red. God, I LOVE this story. So much packed into this chapter. It is scaring the hell out of me that Josef is feeling helpless. What is the deal? i loved Josef and Beth, they were so true to character it was scarey. It seemed like the roles were reversed here and Beth was the thread holding everything together. You my dear are truely amazing :worship: . I am looking forward to more. :clapping:

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 5:54 pm
by PNWgal
Ahhhh...a chapter I didn't sob my way through. Good on me.

However, this one's full of intrigue and strength...and hope. Although Mick is struggling...poor darling...
Mick turned at the touch of Josef's hand on his shoulder and Josef saw what he had feared all along; for all his confidence, for his faith that Beth was right, that the universe could be charitable, he had started to doubt. Now Josef was holding out desperate, dangerous hope.
But...he has hope in Josef, just as Beth does later in the chapter.
He stepped toward Josef, grasping his shoulders. "If anyone can pull this off, you can. It's just the waiting, well, it's gonna be tough."
But I absolutely LOVED Josef and Lazslo. I do love a good game, and Josef plays it well - and how interesting that the leader of a group committed to wiping out vampires was founded by a vampire. Nicely played, Red.

The back and forth with Jose and Lazslo was simply a joy to read. And I am ever so curious as to what Josef bargained away for Mick and Beth.

"And now?"

"And now I don't know what to do. It's an unfamiliar, and very unsettling sensation."

Definitely not the Josef we've come to know - a Josef that doesn't know what to do is unheard of - but Beth has faith in him. More faith than Josef has in himself at this point.

I'll be most interested to see how this plays out.

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 6:02 pm
by GuardianAngel
That really was a nice, long update, Red, but I'm left with all new questions. What the hell IS Joseph up to? Laszlo scares me - he's ancient an powerful. Will love win out in the end? I can't wait to find out.

Thank Bob Josef was able to rescue Beth and Pete. Seems our poor vamp is spreading himself a bit thin and is walking a very tight rope. The scene with Beth comforting him was touching. Josef doesn't get very much of that, does he? It sounds like he is risking much to help our star crossed lovers. But what? What exactly is he risking. I'm dying to know.

Thank you, Red. You made my day today with this update.

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:09 pm
by redwinter101
RangerCM, that is such a wonderful comment - thank you. You are too kind :rose: .
lorig, thank you, sweetie :biggrin: . As for the deal, well, you know what I'm going to say, right? You'll just have to wait and see :evillaugh: .

PNWgal, I'm so glad this wasn't a three-hankie chapter. Everyone needs a break every now and then. No promises about the rest though... I'm delighted you liked Laszlo - who better to make sure the food supply never runs out than a vampire? And as for this:
PNWgal wrote: And I am ever so curious as to what Josef bargained away for Mick and Beth.
mmmm, well, that's a big assumption. Just sayin'.

GA, if I've made your day, then you've made mine. Thank you, honey :rose:

Red

Re: Afterglow, part nine (M/B/J, PG-13)

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:16 pm
by PNWgal
Hey, I love anyone that can intimidate Josef. ;-) I never thought of the Legion as a way to cull the herd, so to speak...in this case, the herd being the predators themselves. Ingenious and a little scary.

And well....you know me. Big in the Assumptions Dept. Now I'm VERY curious. :ysmile: