Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
red,
I read this almost 24 hours ago, but I was so affected I couldn't put an intelligent thought together.
I really still can't. You have totally, totally blown me away. Beautiful, pitch-perfect writing that handed me my heart.
I really wish you would consider writing as a career. The world doesn't know what it's missing.
BTW, you surprised me with the ending, so my predictions about the letters are wrong. And I'm delighted to be wrong. But I still think they are the best thing about this whole story. That and the last chapter before Mick and Beth parted--the single most tragically beautiful Mick/Beth ever put to ether.
Brava.
I read this almost 24 hours ago, but I was so affected I couldn't put an intelligent thought together.
I really still can't. You have totally, totally blown me away. Beautiful, pitch-perfect writing that handed me my heart.
I really wish you would consider writing as a career. The world doesn't know what it's missing.
BTW, you surprised me with the ending, so my predictions about the letters are wrong. And I'm delighted to be wrong. But I still think they are the best thing about this whole story. That and the last chapter before Mick and Beth parted--the single most tragically beautiful Mick/Beth ever put to ether.
Brava.
"There is a degree to which . . . all literature, highbrow or low, from the Aeneid onward, is fan fiction . . . retelling and reimagining the stories that were told before us and that we have come of age loving--amateurs--we proceed, seeking out the blank places in the map that our favorite writers . . . have left for us . . ." -- Michael Chabon, Maps and Legends
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
You really got me with these two updates, Red.
I read them together and boy, what an emotional rollercoaster they were. First my heart broke when I thought that Mick was injected with the silver poison and then it broke again when Josef sacrificed himself for his friend.
What an unexpected but wondeful ending to one of my favorite stories! I truly didn't think that Josef's "deal" involved him as the ultimate price. The "it's all about me", egocentric, narcissist Josef doing such a noble thing... Wow! Very creative idea!
The best part was the letters; Mick's letters to Beth during her absence made me cry and trust me I am not the type. So many emotions condensed in a few sentences. Heartbreaking
And of course, Josef's letters at the end...
Wonderful writing
What are you planning next for us?
I read them together and boy, what an emotional rollercoaster they were. First my heart broke when I thought that Mick was injected with the silver poison and then it broke again when Josef sacrificed himself for his friend.
What an unexpected but wondeful ending to one of my favorite stories! I truly didn't think that Josef's "deal" involved him as the ultimate price. The "it's all about me", egocentric, narcissist Josef doing such a noble thing... Wow! Very creative idea!
The best part was the letters; Mick's letters to Beth during her absence made me cry and trust me I am not the type. So many emotions condensed in a few sentences. Heartbreaking
And of course, Josef's letters at the end...
Wonderful writing
What are you planning next for us?
Last edited by darlingcat on Mon May 04, 2009 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
sbj, what can I say?
darlingcat, I'm so pleased that the ending came as a surprise. So very pleased indeed. As for what's next, well, for the first time in a long time, I find myself without a multi-chapter in progress so I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. I'm sure there will be something.....
Red
Ditto, girlfriend.starbucksjunkie wrote:You have totally, totally blown me away.
I'd still love to know - I'll PM you. I'm tidying up Mick's letters and will post them here if I can get them right.starbucksjunkie wrote:BTW, you surprised me with the ending, so my predictions about the letters are wrong. And I'm delighted to be wrong. But I still think they are the best thing about this whole story.
darlingcat, I'm so pleased that the ending came as a surprise. So very pleased indeed. As for what's next, well, for the first time in a long time, I find myself without a multi-chapter in progress so I'm waiting for inspiration to strike. I'm sure there will be something.....
Red
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
Red, I spent the morning rereading chapters 10, 11 and 12 and had myself a real good cry. (LOTS of tissues!) I remember when I finished that early chapter where Beth left Mick: Mick collapsed on the floor of his loft by the door; Josef sitting on the other side of the door, offering strength merely through his presence. It was heart wrenching and I felt so empty, emotionally. But this ending, which made me cry just as much, left my heart full of hope. In this story, knowing that all of them surviving was not possible, this was the perfect ending. Exactly as it should be. Josef going out on his own terms, for his love of Mick and Beth as well as for the greater good of the tribe. I loved the part where Josef said he finally found something worth dying for, and that Mick now had something worth living for. He was right to tell Mick flat out that in no way should Mick feel responsible for Josef’s death. And Josef certainly knew Beth – he wrote his letter to her a week before his death, yet knew that she would offer herself up to save Mick.
In my comment after Chapter 11, I mentioned thinking Josef would give himself up, but you didn’t seem to be going that way, and I dismissed it. So this ending did catch me by surprise. It was sad, but satisfying, with a happiness for Mick and Beth. It felt right. I do think Mick will eventually turn Beth, and they will carry Josef in their hearts for eternity. After all, he helped make them who they are.
Your writing is magical, Red. No other way to describe it. Thank you for this incredible journey.
In my comment after Chapter 11, I mentioned thinking Josef would give himself up, but you didn’t seem to be going that way, and I dismissed it. So this ending did catch me by surprise. It was sad, but satisfying, with a happiness for Mick and Beth. It felt right. I do think Mick will eventually turn Beth, and they will carry Josef in their hearts for eternity. After all, he helped make them who they are.
Your writing is magical, Red. No other way to describe it. Thank you for this incredible journey.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
This was a heartwarming chapter. I had expected that it was going to be Beth so this was a surprise for me and not quite as sad for me personally as it would have been with either Mick or Beth. You really made Josef come alive and I could picture him saying what you had him say in person and in the letters. Josef went on his own terms recognizing they couldn't all stay. Given Josef's sacrifice and Mick's probably not being able to go on without Josef and later without Beth, I would like to think she will agree to being turned before long. I agree that you might want to consider doing this professionally. Your material is wonderful. Thank you.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
I read this last night. I was ready - wine in hand, tissues close by. I was ready for the pound of flesh, the weeping and gnashing of teeth that I was most certainly going to face. With a deep breath and a thudding heart, I opened up the last chapter and started reading.
My initial reaction was "Oh HELL no - she did not just take the easy way out". Then I read it again. Same reaction. I felt...bereft. Even...cheated. I had invested all this time, tears and energy to have it end THIS way? This ending was too pat, too happy, even though it resulted in Josef's death. His death was not the one I was expecting - where was my weeping and teeth-gnashing? The pound of flesh offered was not the one I wanted on the altar.
So - I went back to the beginning. Read from Chapter 1 all the way through to the end - put the tissues and the wine to good use. And when I got to the ending, it all made sense. It FIT.
It was perfect.
In making the choice he did, Josef did indeed win. So did Mick, so did Beth - and so did everyone under Josef's influence. There can be no bargain without sacrifice and Josef's was the ultimate - his life for the life of those of his friends. His life for love - his love for Mick, for Beth...and their love for him. Even in death, Josef is completely in control.
He accomplished three things: he got the Legion out of his city, he forced Mick to grow up, reassess and realize this was his chance at living his life, and he gave Beth a glimpse at the darker side of being vampire. Irrevocably changed and not necessarily for the worse.
You know...there are writers that are damn good, but their hubris gets in the way of the work. There are writers that tell a good story and sweep us from reality for a brief moment. There are writers that aren't good, but think they are. Then there's the talented few who stand head and shoulders above the rest, ones who make us think, make us weep, and make us sigh.
Consider yourself part of that elite group, my friend. Should you ever decide to quit your day job and pursue writing professionally, I will be the first in line to buy the book.
If I had a glass in my hand at the moment, rest assured I'd be saluting you. Brava.
My initial reaction was "Oh HELL no - she did not just take the easy way out". Then I read it again. Same reaction. I felt...bereft. Even...cheated. I had invested all this time, tears and energy to have it end THIS way? This ending was too pat, too happy, even though it resulted in Josef's death. His death was not the one I was expecting - where was my weeping and teeth-gnashing? The pound of flesh offered was not the one I wanted on the altar.
So - I went back to the beginning. Read from Chapter 1 all the way through to the end - put the tissues and the wine to good use. And when I got to the ending, it all made sense. It FIT.
It was perfect.
In making the choice he did, Josef did indeed win. So did Mick, so did Beth - and so did everyone under Josef's influence. There can be no bargain without sacrifice and Josef's was the ultimate - his life for the life of those of his friends. His life for love - his love for Mick, for Beth...and their love for him. Even in death, Josef is completely in control.
He accomplished three things: he got the Legion out of his city, he forced Mick to grow up, reassess and realize this was his chance at living his life, and he gave Beth a glimpse at the darker side of being vampire. Irrevocably changed and not necessarily for the worse.
You know...there are writers that are damn good, but their hubris gets in the way of the work. There are writers that tell a good story and sweep us from reality for a brief moment. There are writers that aren't good, but think they are. Then there's the talented few who stand head and shoulders above the rest, ones who make us think, make us weep, and make us sigh.
Consider yourself part of that elite group, my friend. Should you ever decide to quit your day job and pursue writing professionally, I will be the first in line to buy the book.
If I had a glass in my hand at the moment, rest assured I'd be saluting you. Brava.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
MLC, thank you so much. That really is a lovely, lovely comment - and I'm touched. Thank you.
Moonlightsonata, thank you. This story was always a three-hander - and the final chapter was all Josef's.
PNWgal, thanks for the read, and the re-read.
Red
Moonlightsonata, thank you. This story was always a three-hander - and the final chapter was all Josef's.
PNWgal, thanks for the read, and the re-read.
Well, with the final chapter of something planned out so far in advance, there's always the risk that it will come off trite and that someone will be disappointed. I'm sorry it was you.PNWgal wrote: I felt...bereft. Even...cheated. I had invested all this time, tears and energy to have it end THIS way? This ending was too pat, too happy, even though it resulted in Josef's death. His death was not the one I was expecting - where was my weeping and teeth-gnashing? The pound of flesh offered was not the one I wanted on the altar.
Thank you.PNWgal wrote:Should you ever decide to quit your day job and pursue writing professionally, I will be the first in line to buy the book.
Red
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
I love the way you write, Red...this installment, especially the letters from Josef...it is some of the best writing you have ever done. Josef's spirit leapt of the page...his voice crisp...resonating with life and love. The thought of losing him fills me with great sorrow...but his words are inspiring....replete with hope and love. It's as if in his last breath, he's cocooned Mick and Beth in is own special brand of love, knowledge and power. Sacrificing himself...Josef chose life and love...because that is exactly what he felt with Mick and Beth. And how wonderful that he included Sarah because she represented great love for him, as well.
Love...and there is no greater love...
Thank you, Red, for pouring your own love into this marvelous story. It is a Moonlight treasure...and so are you.
Love...and there is no greater love...
Thank you, Red, for pouring your own love into this marvelous story. It is a Moonlight treasure...and so are you.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
Thanks, Raven :curtesy: . This story was indeed a labour of love.
Red
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
I have read parts 5-12 and am now hopelessly bawling my eyes out (first time a fic has done that) for poor Josef - he loved them both so much, but couldn't decide between them, so he paid the ultimate price
Wonderful, wonderful story red, sorry but I can't see through my tears
Wonderful, wonderful story red, sorry but I can't see through my tears
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
MSJ_s, thank you. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story.
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
I'm not sure if anyone has guessed the opera, Red, but is it Peleus and Melisande?
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
Luxe, I don't blame you for not trawling through the replies - we did eventually get a correct guess (a joint effort from Fleur and Grace) - it was The Pearl Fishers.Luxe de Luxe wrote:I'm not sure if anyone has guessed the opera, Red, but is it Peleus and Melisande?
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
I know, I gave up after 3 pages looking for the answer. The Pearl Fishers huh, I'm definitely going to look that one up now.redwinter101 wrote:Luxe, I don't blame you for not trawling through the replies - we did eventually get a correct guess (a joint effort from Fleur and Grace) - it was The Pearl Fishers.Luxe de Luxe wrote:I'm not sure if anyone has guessed the opera, Red, but is it Peleus and Melisande?
Red
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Re: Afterglow, part twelve, conclusion (M/B/J, PG-13)
As I said, it's one of my faves. A classic "love conquers all", although in the original, both men are in love with the girl. While that might have appealed to your JoBe-loving heart, it didn't work for me.Luxe de Luxe wrote:I know, I gave up after 3 pages looking for the answer. The Pearl Fishers huh, I'm definitely going to look that one up now.redwinter101 wrote:Luxe, I don't blame you for not trawling through the replies - we did eventually get a correct guess (a joint effort from Fleur and Grace) - it was The Pearl Fishers.Luxe de Luxe wrote:I'm not sure if anyone has guessed the opera, Red, but is it Peleus and Melisande?
Red
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