Moonlightaholics

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: This conversation was written in response to the Champagne Challenge #135, "Two Hundred Fifty Spoken Words." Rated PG. Thanks to librarian_7 and Lilly for their helpful comments.

Cleanup

“Name and location?”

“Stovsky. Dr. Gerald Stovsky, Jet Propulsion Laboratory. No, wait, that’s not where it is. Wait, let me see… Oh, yes. It’s the corner of First and Main, downtown. I think I’ve… I’ve accidentally drained someone. Oh, dear…”

“How many victims involved?”

“Only the one. You see, I was walking across the street, and I suppose I wasn’t looking where I was going, and this car came careening down the road, and struck me, and–”

“You killed the driver of the car?”

“No, no… it was a hit and run, you see. I was thrown several feet, my neck was broken. My skull, too, I’m sure.”

“Sir, please come to the point. Is there a car wreck to be disposed of?”

“Oh! Well, no… you see, the car that hit me, well, it drove away, I suppose. I wasn’t conscious, so I don’t know exactly what happened, but I assume the driver left the scene. No, another person, a good Samaritan, as it were… he stopped, and–”

“Ah. So you drained the good Samaritan. Please describe the victim.”

“Well, he was… uh, Caucasian, and he had some sort of facial hair… was it a mustache? No, I think… A beard. He definitely had a beard. I remember, it felt very unpleasant in my mouth when I… And he was wearing a… A dark suit. And a striped tie.”

“And you’re sure he is deceased?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“All right, Dr. Stovsky. We’ll bill you.”

“Oh, thank you! Good bye.”
<>

You really got the way Stovsky was talking, a bit confused about reality and unsure of what the heck happened. When the cleaner doesn't find the victim they will surely think it was a prank.

Alle

You really captured the Gerald Stofsky's way of speaking well. Disjointed, but very willing to offer whatever information he could and totally clueless as to what had actually occurred.

He really was a victim on several levels.

Also, the brusque, directness of the cleaner is pitch perfect.

Very nice answer to the challenge!

Thank you!

I LOVE this! What a perfect choice for a short conversation -- and what pitch-perfect execution! Even if Stovsky hadn't identified himself, there would have been no question who was speaking here.

And I love the little detail about the beard feeling "unpleasant" on his mouth. Brilliant!

You completely captured the creepy Stovsky vibe. I could hear him speaking in my head while reading.

I don't know whether to congratulate you or bleach my brain to get the sound of his voice out!

Well done!

Thank you, ladies, so much! I have to say, it was odd having Gerald's voice so clearly in my head. One of the things I loved about Moonlight was the vividness of its minor characters. Gerald is so distinctive, he looms much larger in my memory than he really ought to, considering how little dialogue he had. But they captured him beautifully in his few scenes.

francis, that's exactly what I think, too--he was so confused and strange, the Cleaner probably didn't even give it a second thought when the victim wasn't there on the street.

Jenna, thank you so much--it's very important, I think, in such a short piece to get the speech rhythms right, and I'm thrilled that you thought they sounded right in your head.

Lilly, thank you--I'm honored! You're the queen of perfect phrasing, so that makes me very proud. And eeek, you liked the beard thing? Yay! It occurred to me that biting a guy with a beard wouldn't be all that pleasant of an experience. And Gerald's always throwing in these weird little tangential things that really are totally off the point...

Fleur, my apologies for making you want to bleach your brain! But hey--if I got Gerald well enough to make you feel that way, I am very happy. (And yeah, it took me a while to stop hearing him, when I was done with the conversation! That guy sticks with you, doesn't he?!)

what a knee slapper....yes, if we had been around the good Doctor I can see his conversations going EXACTLY like this. As always, you nailed this one!

This was wonderful, Alle! You have Stovsky's voice down pat - he sounded every bit like the absent-minded professor that he was. I love how bits of his thoughts invaded the conversation. I cannot recall ever reading a story featuring Stovsky, so this was a treat to read.

Thank you!

Lucy and Marigold, thank you very much! It was fun.

I am blown away. I can see him, hear him and I want to be away from him. He is one of those characters that sticks with you.

Wow! You not only nailed Gerald, but the Cleaner as well - and two more opposites in a conversation you couldn't have. Gerald is all over the map information wise, while the Cleaner is focused and clear.

Nicely done, Alle

“And you’re sure he is deceased?”

“Yes, definitely.”

The only part Stovsky was sure about, and it was absolutely wrong.

ITA with the others... perfect Stovsky!

Great stuff, Alle. As everyone has been saying, you totally nailed this. Stovsky was perfect, as was the no nonsense efficiency of the Cleaner. I love getting these unexpected little snippets of vampire reality.

Carol, doesn't he just?! It makes me very happy that you had such a strong reaction to him.
DSR, I think it helped to have such different voices. They played off each other and the contrast made Gerald, especially, easier to do.
MLC, yay, you got it! I really liked sticking that in. Gerald's one short, decisive sentence... and it's wrong.
Luxe, thanks so much for your kind words. I enjoyed doing this conversation. I hope more occur to me--this is a fun Challenge!

Wonderful response to the challenge! Thank you Allegrita!