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Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:29 am
by librarian_7
For the “Fall” challenge. No infringement intended. Explication, maybe, but no infringement.


Falling into Flame

Things happen fast. Too fast to process, sometimes, and even your emotions have to catch up later.

Coraline was lying there, staked, and that had given me a few precious minutes to coax a terrified child into my arms, but I had no illusions that it was over.

I don’t know whether I thought that she’d somehow work herself free, or that I just had to end it forever, right then. Maybe I didn’t think at all.

But I did act. I snatched up that lantern and threw it at the most flammable thing in the room. It only took a second for the chair to be engulfed in flame, and the wooden walls caught almost as quick.

Coraline was trapped in the middle of it, her faced turned toward me, white dress red with blood and the flickering fire, like a queen on a pyre.

I couldn’t stand there and watch her burn. Not with the girl. Her eyes, at least, were too innocent for that.

I turned away, trying to shield the kid from—from what? The flames? The vision?

I’ll never know what made me turn back for one last look at the fire. I’d put a wall between us. Made my choice, which life to save, and which to take.

And then, impossibly, she appeared at the window, beating her beautiful, deadly hands against the glass.

Coraline—my wife, my temptress, my fate. Thirty-three years of passion, and it came down to that split second. And I couldn’t even see what was in her eyes. Betrayal, rage, understanding, despair. I’ll never know. The inferno sucked her in, and she was gone.

The child in my arms shifted, warm and heavy, clinging more tightly. Dangerously tempting. In my confusion, I thought she even smelled just a little like Coraline. But that must’ve been the scent my wife had left on her.

The fire was spreading. I had to get her out, get her to safety. From Coraline, from the flames, from me.

In the end, one falls and one is saved. You can’t stop and think too much about it. You try to do what’s right, but things—things happen fast.

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 4:24 am
by darkstarrising
Loved the symmetry of the beginning and end
Things happen fast.


He fell for Coraline hard and fast and now the decision to end it all was made just as quickly. In the beginning, it was all about the two of them. In the end, it was just about saving a little girl's life.

You pointed out something I'd never thought of....that he was a danger to the little girl as well.
The child in my arms shifted, warm and heavy, clinging more tightly. Dangerously tempting.
It's the tempo of the piece that's amazing....he's thinking back on something that's occurred in the past, but still, as he recalls leaving Coraline to burn, you feel his thoughts race as he chooses one life over another.

Lovely, Lucky :flowers:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:12 am
by librarian_7
Thanks so much, dsr. I was watching NSTAV again, the other day (this is what exercise biking will do for me), and just had an idea...

Lucky

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 7:04 am
by allegrita
Lucky, this is amazing. This story happens fast. I read it in a rush, because it was dragging me on to the next word, hurry hurry hurry... and then I went back and reread it slowly, savoring the language, remembering the images he's describing, putting myself into his head through your words.

This piece reads like a voiceover, but it's a lot more than that. It's a look back at the past and a reliving of one of those moments of telescoped time when everything happens really fast and in slow motion, at the same time.

And I loved the image of Mick having to protect Beth from himself--because let's face it, he was pretty badly hurt, he must've needed blood-- and she smelled so much like Coraline, eeeeeeeeew.... :confused2: what a tangle of feelings that poor guy had to deal with.

Yeah--sometimes things happen fast. And you do things in a split second that reverberate over decades. Centuries, maybe. :Mickangel:

Thank you for this new look at a really important turning point. :rose:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 10:34 am
by wpgrace
librarian_7 wrote:Thanks so much, dsr. I was watching NSTAV again, the other day (this is what exercise biking will do for me), and just had an idea...

Lucky

Well then, I'd suggest more time on the bike. :devil:
See? You DO get good results from exercise!!!!!! :biggrin:

Love this introspective piece... :happysigh:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:12 pm
by one.zebra
I've wondered if this was not Mick's first independant thought/action since he first laid eyes on her and fell under her spell....grabbing Beth to save her and putting his foot down, so to speak, 'Hell no. This is not happening'.

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:59 pm
by librarian_7
dsr--the symmetry was very intentional, as it seemed to be a hallmark of the show eps.

Alle--thanks so much! And I'm so pleased you picked up on the "smells like Coraline" bit. They ARE the same blood type, after all.

grace... :rolling: :rolling: Yes ma'am.

o.z, that could well be. Although in all the separations and reunions, who knows?

Lucky

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:57 pm
by jenstc2003
Oh this is fabulous Lucky!!! Perfectly Mick.

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 6:27 pm
by francis
Great story, Lucky! I love the bit about Beth smelling so enticing, and the split second decision Mick made. It was a decision, not an easy one. He already felt like a monster, but killing his sire and his wife must have been horrible to him. And still, he decided to do it, to save the girl. He went away a different man.
You captured this moment perfectly.

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2010 10:06 pm
by jen
Lucky

This was wonderful!

The decision here was sudden, made almost without thinking, and yet was the culmination of a lot of thought. Mick made a decision that would shape his future, Beth's and Coraline's, too.

Now I think I will read it again.

Thanks!

Jenna

:hearts: :hearts: :hearts: :hearts:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:55 pm
by librarian_7
Thanks so much for the comments!

Lucky

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:05 pm
by cassysj
I really like that Beth smells like Coraline. It all happened so fast everything with Mick and Coraline and the decision of who to save happened just as fast. I never get these results from an exercise bike :bike:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:05 am
by moonlight_vixen
What a brilliant piece, Lucky! The pace that the story sets is what makes it so enthralling.
Coraline—my wife, my temptress, my fate. Thirty-three years of passion, and it came down to that split second. And I couldn’t even see what was in her eyes. Betrayal, rage, understanding, despair. I’ll never know. The inferno sucked her in, and she was gone.
I love the description here!

Keep on biking woman, if this is what comes of it!! :snicker:

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:11 am
by MoonShadow
I've always thought the blood link b/w the two would be a great challenge piece

Re: Falling into Flame (Champagne Challenge #120)--PG-13

Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 4:58 am
by RangerCM
Ooooooo I like this. :notworthy: :notworthy: