Not particularily Moonlight--I intended it to be but this is what came out. Somebody let me know if I should take it down
Restless Searching...(Trick or Treat?)
An oaken branch will point the way-
So now, go quickly and don’t stray
Though shifting shadows bid you linger
Heed that leafless. pointing finger
Sometimes, when the moon shines bright
And when the clouds can’t hide its light
The path and gate you’ll clearly see…
But not what waits for you or me
High upon a hill alone
A house waits silently as stone
With windows glowing softly there
Hinting welcome, warmth and care?
In the shadows of this night
There’s naught that isn’t there in light.
But what that is, we still can’t see-
A trick or treat? Which will it be??
Restless Searching...(Trick or Treat?) - Halloween 2013
-
- Cleaner
- Posts: 6411
- Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:11 am
Restless Searching...(Trick or Treat?) - Halloween 2013
Last edited by jen on Sat Nov 09, 2013 4:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Mick and Beth--two of the lovely faces of Moonlight
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix
- allegrita
- Moonlightaholic Admin
- Posts: 45991
- Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: Snuggled under the brown afghan, watching the fire
Re: Halloween 2013
Ooh, what a wonderfully spooky poem! I think you should give it a spooky title, too. And who says your poem isn't Moonlight...that scary house on the hill might be the Kostan mansion, and those might be first-time freshies, wondering what's in store for them at Josef's annual Halloween party.
-
- Cleaner
- Posts: 6411
- Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:11 am
Re: Halloween 2013
Alle
You are always so nice! Hmmm, Moonlight this up a bit...
There's still a couple of days...
Thank you!!!
Jenna
You are always so nice! Hmmm, Moonlight this up a bit...
There's still a couple of days...
Thank you!!!
Jenna
Mick and Beth--two of the lovely faces of Moonlight
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix
- Lilly
- Moonlightaholic Mod
- Posts: 25375
- Joined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:24 pm
Re: Halloween 2013
jen, this is just lovely. It has a haunting rhythm and the language is reminiscent of a time long ago. It's like a wayward spirit leading us down a spooky path that has been traveled many times before. But to what end?
I wouldn't change a thing! (Except the title -- it deserves better. )
"The House on the Hill" maybe?
I wouldn't change a thing! (Except the title -- it deserves better. )
"The House on the Hill" maybe?
Lilly
My Fanfic Index
Avatar from "Matasaburo of the Wind" © 2009 Alex Gross, used with the permission of the artist
My Fanfic Index
Avatar from "Matasaburo of the Wind" © 2009 Alex Gross, used with the permission of the artist
- allegrita
- Moonlightaholic Admin
- Posts: 45991
- Joined: Sat Jan 17, 2009 9:22 am
- Location: Snuggled under the brown afghan, watching the fire
Re: Halloween 2013
I agree with Lilly, don't change the poem--just the title! I like that suggestion, Lilly.
-
- Cleaner
- Posts: 6411
- Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:11 am
Re: Halloween 2013
Alle and Lilly
Points taken. And thank you both for the kind wirds and suggestions.
Sometimes poems seem to write themselves. This one did. To me, what lay at the root of this was a restless searching, pushing the individual on and Lilly nailed it--it is both now and it hints of other restless searchings, long past and dosn't say whether those searchings ended well. Not clearly knowing what they were seeking, they follow the shadowy directions that entice and warn at the same time.
Hope this works better.
Thanks again!
Jenna
Points taken. And thank you both for the kind wirds and suggestions.
Sometimes poems seem to write themselves. This one did. To me, what lay at the root of this was a restless searching, pushing the individual on and Lilly nailed it--it is both now and it hints of other restless searchings, long past and dosn't say whether those searchings ended well. Not clearly knowing what they were seeking, they follow the shadowy directions that entice and warn at the same time.
Hope this works better.
Thanks again!
Jenna
Mick and Beth--two of the lovely faces of Moonlight
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix
Beautiful banner by the Fabulous Phoenix