Moonlightaholics

No copyright infringement intended.


I relive it less often--the landscape of this life's…familiar now.

The bite of one I'd just sworn to love and protect, who I thought would protect me, overwhelmed senses. First came the feeling of falling, then all conscious thought ceased.

Sometimes, I recall those last. thundering.. heartbeats...

And wonder if it’s memory or my imagination...

The blackness that followed was vast and hungry: no bright lights or waiting loved ones. No choirs of angels.

There was no sensation of time in that nothingness until I was jerked back to harsh sensation. Too bright, too loud, too rough.

Too late.

Oh, Jenna, this is just awesome. I love it. Especially the last two lines.

This is wonderful.

What a realistic account. I really like how the title relates to the story.

Very nice, Jenna!

Alle

Thank you! That's high praise coming from you.

Jenna

Fancis

Thank you so much!

Last night, a three hour bout of insomnia turned into my own personal challenge to pair down a page of dialogue into precisely 100 words.

Marigold

Thank you. In reading it afterwards, it came off very depressing and that generally isn't something I want to project, but poor Mick went through some long bouts of it. It's part of made him the man he was.

Jenna

this is really terrific, jen! Something about the following line really stopped me in my tracks...

jen wrote:Sometimes, I think I recall the sound and feel of my last thundering heartbeats.

... something about the use of the word 'thundering' to describe the end of his life here -- it conveys a sense of heightened, panicked arousal as well as the ever narrowing diminishment in his awareness of the outside world up until the last beat of his heart. And then that last line....

jen wrote:Too late.

... has a real sense of dread and melancholy about it. Good stuff.

Luxe

Thank you so much!

I'm so glad that line conveyed what it did. As confused and scared as Mick must have been at that moment, his body must have been telling him that he was rushing toward the edge of a cliff at breakneck speed. I think Mick knew he was dying and that his killer was the one person he loved most in the world -- the woman he had just married. It would take him decades to sort all that out.

I so appreciate your kind words. The mean even more coming from a writer of your talent.

Jenna