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Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:45 pm
by allegrita
Mmmm... no, my heart doesn't break as much for Josef here, because he's got so much more experience in life. He's got more perspective. That doesn't make it easy, mind you, but he's just better at protecting himself than she is...

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 4:47 pm
by darkstarrising
librarian_7 wrote:You know, I have never written anything from Lucky's POV before...now I'm beginning to think this may be why. The poor girl is really struggling with the realities of her relationship. And I think this kind of difficulty may be a core problem at the heart of every vampire/human relationship. But if your heart breaks for Freshie Lucky, shouldn't it break for Josef, too? They are both caught in this, and neither deserves the pain of it.

Lucky
I see your point, and while I do feel badly for Josef, I feel worse for Lucky. In her case, while Sara's in limbo, Josef still holds out hope for her return, leaving Lucky in her own version of limbo. He's the one in control here. He needs to choose, but then again, so does Lucky.

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 9:25 pm
by NightAir
Poor Lucky, poor Josef, both caught up in their love for each other, but neither can ever forget the sleeping beauty always present.
Theirs is a bittersweet relationship. Lucky claims the compromise is enough, but is it? How long can it truly last?

I love Josef and Lucky and their journey. I hope, somehow, they can find a way to true happiness together.

:flowers:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 8:16 pm
by francis
It seems to me that this is a turning point for Lucky. She goes from appreciating the compromise as all she can have, to wishing for more or something else, and feeling that something's gotta give in the end. That's why this little gem is so painful, so full of anguish. You are right, Lucky's POV is difficult to imagine and to write. But this is more healthy (to me) than the unbridled acceptance of every cruel thing life deals her if only it comes through Josef. I had difficulties with believing early Lucky because of that, and was angry with her for being the foot mat. I guess I almost prefer her to be unhappy about her fate than to let it dictate her.
Still, I feel for both of them because none of them chose this. But for Josef there must have been a point where he could have ended this before it became too painful, and he missed that point. Lucky had no choice once she was his. He has all the power and control in this relationship. And while I don't hold up a sign for feminism and equality in this kind of relationship, I still feel sad that it came to this.

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:11 pm
by susieb
This is a stunner. So brief, yet so powerful. Like a pebble skipping across a pond... and the ripples never end. So much to take in and think about. So much heartbreaking emotion... and heartbreaking for both Lucky and Josef. How long is compromise enough?

I know this story is one I'll re-read. A lot. Thank you, Lucky. BIG :heart:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:33 am
by librarian_7
I think one thing to remember with these two...I believe Josef has come to care for her far more than he admits, or than she believes. Some of the problem is that she has been so unassuming, for so long, she's convinced herself that she's not worthy of his serious emotional attachment. I think they are not communicating as well as they might.

It's very pleasing to feel I've sparked some thought here... :heart: to all who follow my stories so closely.

Lucky

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 4:58 pm
by coco
How incredibly sad for Lucky. My heart breaks for her. Beautifully written. :clapping:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 8:24 pm
by jen
Takes me a while to move beyond Mick and Beth but this time through, I was thinking of Simone, but at least I got Josef right this time!

It works with Lucky or Simone better than Mick and Beth.

Lucky has made Josef the center of her life, even more than Simone

I still agree with the brevity and impact here. Wonderfully, wonderfully done!

Thank you!

Jenna

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Sun May 15, 2011 11:07 pm
by librarian_7
Thanks, coco and jen! This was a really hard piece to write, because of all the pain that poor freshie experiences in her relationship...and yet, she does cherish her vampire for all that.

Lucky

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Mon May 16, 2011 2:58 am
by tucutecats
As long as she exists Joseph will never be free, but he is living in the past, perhaps some day he will realize that Lucky is the present and future, before it;s too late. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:19 am
by Marigold
This is very, very powerful, Lucky. :notworthy:
But I have to wonder, even if I’m afraid I know the truth, what would happen to me, to him and me, if she awoke. Because there’s a little part of me that knows, no matter what he says or does, that with any other woman, he’s only killing time.
:Mickangel: I feel badly for both Freshie Lucky and for Josef. Right now, neither one of them is living in the moment.

Well done! :rose:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:41 am
by jen
This is a wonderful example of how he shortness of a piece of writing that increase its impact.

(And seriously, you were very clear--this was always Lucky!)

Jenna

:hearts: :flowers: :hearts: :flowers:

Re: Little Death (Killing Time Challenge) PG-13

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:22 am
by cassysj
I am so enjoying revisiting challenges. Poor Lucky I really do feel for her.