Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

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Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Sun Jan 18, 2009 2:22 pm

Absolution
Disclaimer- Nope, I don't own the characters, or their adventures. I just get to play with them.
Rating- PG 13
Notes- This is the follow- on to "Penance" that One Zebra had suggested in her comments to that piece. OZ- I hope it lives up to the expectation!

Absolution
I watch him closely as we ride to Ander’s office, trying to figure out what has brought on the anger that has overtaken me since he returned to the immortal coil. I know that I really should be happy for him- after all, he’s run from that same fate for the past half century, and he seems comfortable with it for the first time ever. From the first moment, when he snarled and looked at me, ready to take on the world, I have been relieved by that, no matter how deeply I might feel the guilt and anger. In fact, I’ve never seen him so confident in himself… or so comfortable in his own vampiric skin. I should be grateful for that.

But the questions won’t go away, no matter how much I try to push them away. What did I do differently with him than I had with Sarah? The thought wriggles mercilessly at the back of my skull, almost physically painful to contemplate. I can’t think of anything that I could change… that’s the rub. I can’t say that I did anything different this time, or the other times I’ve brought someone into the blood than I did with Sarah. There is no logical reason to explain why she should have had any more difficulty coming back around than he did, yet she’s comatose and he’s beside me, better than ever. I try to take comfort in that and not dwell on that beautiful, silent body on her immense bed in New York, but it's not possible yet.

It doesn't take long for me to begin to calm, though. That sort of anger is simply too intense to be held for long, and guilt is pointless. After a few minutes of silence, pondering the quirks of fate, I can't take it any longer. It's time to try to embrace what is. After all, I have no good reason not to be happy for him, besides the guilt I feel about what might have been. This is the man I’ve known for 56 years- the man I love like he was my brother- the friend who has been beside me through hot and cold, good and bad, fun and danger. This is the good man I’d always hoped would come to accept his fate. That thought sticks in my head, like glue. I'd wished for that for him- and here I am... not even a witness to it, but the cause of that very transformation. The thought is humbling, and the what if's begin to speak in softer tones.

The trip isn’t a long one- but as I watch him, muttering to himself to keep from doing something he’d regret, at least the anger begins to leech away. He isn’t the one to blame for any of this- and it is increasingly obvious that I’m not either, no matter how much I’d like to believe that I am. I’m sure that there is some force above our own understanding who has determined this outcome, and I begin to understand. I have to believe that there is some explanation for losing her… if not, I couldn’t live with myself, and I'd have no reason to go on. As it is, I have another reason to be here right now- my closest friend, my sort of fledgling, who needs me to help him save his Beth. And besides, there is still the hope that a miracle might happen to bring her back. Only he could understand the sheer joy of that moment if- when- it happens.

He speaks to me, finally, as we arrive at the office. "I know that I can never repay you for this. But- thank you." Those few words melt the remaining ache, at least for the moment.

"No. Thank you."
Jen

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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby one.zebra » Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:06 am

Loved this one Jen. Josef and Mick finding a new kind of peace...
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:11 am

*Hugs* This has always been one of my favorites, actually. And I seem to remember WAAAAY back it was your inspiration that caused it to be written... so I owe you a big thank you!

One.Zebra wrote:Loved this one Jen. Josef and Mick finding a new kind of peace...
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby francis » Sun Jan 25, 2009 4:44 pm

I love this one. The peaceful feeling of having his friend back and having him back improved and being the cause for that improvement - how can Josef not be humbled? Well done, Jen. This is really touching.
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Sun Jan 25, 2009 6:58 pm

*Hugs* Thanks Francis! It would certainly be a humbling experience, I would think. And especially with so many conflicting emotions running through him at the time. I'm glad it made such an impact for you.

francis wrote:I love this one. The peaceful feeling of having his friend back and having him back improved and being the cause for that improvement - how can Josef not be humbled? Well done, Jen. This is really touching.
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jen » Sun Sep 20, 2009 2:56 am

Another of the treasures I seem to have missed!

This is wonderful! I love your take on the ultimately good-hearted Josef--happy for his friends new found resolve and focus.

This is another one of the regrets of not seeing another season: that the sorta-sire-fledgling relationship between Mick and Josef went unexplored.

Outside of fanfic.

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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:31 pm

As a friend once said in RP, J's a good man trying hard not to show it. My J is heavily influenced by the side of him that we see in SB, actually. I never had a J muse until I watched that a few times. I have a great time with him now though, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! And you're right... that relationship would have been AWESOME to see develop. Fan fic, however, is a great place to explore what might have been.

jen wrote:Another of the treasures I seem to have missed!

This is wonderful! I love your take on the ultimately good-hearted Josef--happy for his friends new found resolve and focus.

This is another one of the regrets of not seeing another season: that the sorta-sire-fledgling relationship between Mick and Josef went unexplored.

Outside of fanfic.

:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jen » Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:37 am

Totally agree. Josef may want to be viewed as the ultimate vampire by other members of the L.A. vampire community, but although we believe the obvious that he is guiding Mick through his vampiric existence, but what if that is not the whole story. Generally, there are many reasons for actions like that. What if Josef was searching for a bit of his humanity, as well? He has embraced his fangs and all that goes with them, but what if he now feels the pull of his mortal coil.

Just a thought, and one he probably wouldn't want to acknowledge.

Thank you!
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Sat Dec 31, 2011 1:20 am

ITA! He certainly would NOT admit it, but J needs Mick every bit as much as Mick needs him. J definitely needs Mick to remind him of his humanity and all that that brings with it, and Mick needs J to keep himself grounded in the vampire world.

jen wrote:Totally agree. Josef may want to be viewed as the ultimate vampire by other members of the L.A. vampire community, but although we believe the obvious that he is guiding Mick through his vampiric existence, but what if that is not the whole story. Generally, there are many reasons for actions like that. What if Josef was searching for a bit of his humanity, as well? He has embraced his fangs and all that goes with them, but what if he now feels the pull of his mortal coil.

Just a thought, and one he probably wouldn't want to acknowledge.

Thank you!
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby maggatha3 » Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:09 pm

That was a surprsise for me! In the heat of this moment, before this deathly fight, both vampires find peace in their hearts after Mick's re-turning...Totally unexpected, but such a warming feeling!

Brava! :clapping: :clapping:
-It never ends well...
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby BlueEyedMonster » Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:21 pm

Beautiful Jen just beautiful. :rose:
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:37 pm

*hugs* Thanks!!! It's interesting to imagine what thoughts might cross your mind when you think it might be your last moments in this life... I suspect they were both having some rather deep thoughts at that point.


maggatha3 wrote:That was a surprsise for me! In the heat of this moment, before this deathly fight, both vampires find peace in their hearts after Mick's re-turning...Totally unexpected, but such a warming feeling!

Brava! :clapping: :clapping:
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Re: Absolution- Follow on to Penance PG 13

Postby jenstc2003 » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:38 pm

*hugs* Thanks!!!

BlueEyedMonster wrote:Beautiful Jen just beautiful. :rose:
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