Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

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Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by Lilly »

OK. Here it is - strictly for fun - my response to the Champagne Challenge #104. This is a very contrived bit of fluff set immediately after “The Mortal Cure.” It’s almost completely conversational – really bare bones stuff – but I did manage to work in the three elements of the challenge, the ice cream man, the watering can and the museum. Because it’s mostly dialogue, I toyed with the idea of putting it into script format (to cover the lack of depth :roll: ), but I decided to spare everyone that.

Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. Every once in a while, I like to have a little fun with them, but no disrespect is ever intended.

Rating: PG

First published: 5/15/2009


Cold Therapy


“What’re you doing?”

It was obvious to Josef what Mick was doing. He was up to his wrists in potting soil and bent over his dining room table with field surgeon intensity. It wasn’t exactly a rhetorical question, either. It was more of a “let me see if I can make him jump out of his faux-human skin in his own home” kind of question.

Mick startled at the sound and spun around swinging the aluminum watering can he snatched from the table. With a dull clang, it met Josef’s left hand, as he smoothly raised it to block the oncoming blow. Seizing the not-so-deadly weapon by the spout, Josef held the leaking vessel at arm’s length, safely away from his suit. He smirked as he examined the sizable dent left by the impact. “I think I win.”

“Where the hell did you come from?”

“Europe, 1599.”

“You know what I mean. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“I’m a vampire, Mick. It’s what I do. Remember?”

“Speaking of what you do – it’s almost 11am. Isn’t there someplace you should be?”

“You mean instead of slumming with a do-it-yourself mortal?” He coughed. “Just thought I’d stop by and see how that’s working out for you.” He squinted at his friend’s face and shrugged off a pained expression. “Wow. That’s a new look for you. Either Lance has lost his touch, or the crush thing was mutual.” The vampire shook his head. “Damn, you’re lucky, you know that?”

Mick looked down. “It was more than luck.”

Josef frowned, examining an oblong plastic tab as he scanned the mess strewn across his friend’s table. The wooden surface was covered with sheets of newspaper and dotted with empty pots and bags of soil. Three scraggly plants lay, roots exposed, on the damp, gray covering. “Tomatoes?” The vampire wrinkled his nose in mock disgust and tossed the smudged sign back into the dirt. He picked up one of the terracotta pots, tilting it to examine its contents. “I think this one surrendered,” he quipped, nodding at the wilted plant, its leaves hanging limp against the bowed stem.

“Careful with that.” Mick took the pot from Josef with paternal care. “It needs water,” he explained as he limped over to the sink and pulled down the nozzle, aiming a gentle spray at the soil. “And it needs to be staked,” he added pointedly, turning to glare at his friend. “You’re lucky I just grabbed the watering can.”

Josef dusted off his hands. Skeptical, he contemplated the slender green dowels lying on the table. “I don’t think so.”

“So,” he continued, “you giving up the PI gig to try your hand at gardening? Most people like to have an actual yard for that.”

“I’ve got a balcony.”

“And you didn’t want to be a vampire? I’m telling you -- gardeners are real bloodsuckers.”

Mick rolled his eyes.

“You think I’m kidding? Have you seen the bamboo jungle around my house? The reason those guys have green thumbs is from pruning my bank account.”

Josef paused, his expression softening. “Look – Mick – about what I said the other night, when you called…” The sarcasm was gone, and his voice was low. “I don’t want to see you to get hurt. And this mortality thing – it’s only temporary, you know?”

Mick pursed his lips and responded with a single nod.

Josef looked away for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and then with a gleam in his eye, he turned back to his friend. “I brought you a present,” he chirped with boyish enthusiasm, quickly shifting gears to break the solemn mood.

Mick raised an eyebrow, “What kind of present?”

“You like ice cream?”

“Geez, Joz’f, if you brought ice cream, it’s probably all melted by now.”

“Not ice cream, my friend – an ice cream truck.” He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a set of keys, dangling them in front of his friend. With a broad grin, he added, “I got you a day job.”

“What the f- ? What am I supposed to do with an ice cream truck?”

“Drive it. Sell sub-zero sugar pops to the half-pints.” Josef peered at his friend from under raised eyebrows. “Have fun.”

“Joz’f, I can’t….” Mick shook his head, searching for an excuse.

“Can you hear yourself? You’re human. You got the one thing you’ve been bitching about for fifty-five years – and you’re still making excuses.” He paused for a moment regarding his friend. “Look – I know you’ve got things you want to do…”

“Some things need time…”

“Yeah.” Josef nodded. “So go sell ice cream.”

------


“Hey, mister….MISTER!” a small voice insisted from outside the truck.

Mick straightened up, wiping his upper lip with the side of his hand as he turned around. He tossed a crumpled wrapper behind him into a cardboard box filled with discarded papers, and smoothed the front of his long, not-so-white apron. He squinted at the service window. At first it seemed that no one was there, but the voice persisted, and he finally caught a glimpse of the tousled brown fringe peeking over the edge of the broad opening.

“Hey, buddy,” he said as he moved closer, bending down to lean his arms on the sill, “what can I get for you?”

“I want a Monster Fudge Bar,” the pint-sized customer demanded.

Mick rolled his lips inward and stiffened as he glanced back at the freezer. “Uh, I’m sorry, buddy – I’m all out of those.”

“Manny never runs out. Ever.” The dark-eyed boy glared at the new guy and issued a new challenge. “How ‘bout a Sonic Rainbow Pop?”

The ice cream man was starting to look uncomfortable. Guilty, in fact. He moved his arm over his chest to cover the multi-colored stains trailing down the front of his apron, and winced as he answered with a shake of his head, “I’m really sorry – I, uh, ran out of those too.”

“This is Manny’s third stop. How can you be out of all the good stuff already?”

“Hey – you know what? We’re having a special today. Two for the price of …” The kid scowled. “…how ‘bout free?” Mick offered quickly.

The boy looked at him suspiciously.

“Tell you what,” Mick suggested, “you come back tomorrow and I’ll make sure I have your favorites. Same price.” He winked.

“Deal.” The kid finally cracked a smile as he shoved his money back into his pocket and grabbed the two freebies. Pushing off on his skateboard, he called back over his shoulder, “Don’t forget.”

As the boy skated off, an ice cream in each hand, a black limousine pulled up just feet from the truck. Mick caught of glimpse of himself in the dark reflective window and almost didn’t recognize the goofy grin smiling back. As the glass surface disappeared down into the door frame, his own image was displaced with the sardonic smile that he was more used to seeing.

“You’re a mess.” Josef proclaimed with authority, but his dark glasses couldn’t conceal the vampire’s amusement. “Having fun?”

“Joz’f, man – it’s been amazing. The kids, the ice cream…”

“Good.” He said with a self-satisfied smirk. “So, tell me, did you manage to actually sell anything – or are you just eating your way through the inventory?”

Casting a glance down at his apron, the ice cream man admitted, “A little of both.” He confessed further, “And I gave some away….”

“Remind me never to go into business with you.”

Mick threw back his head and laughed.

“You look positively – what’s that word I’m looking for – happy.”

“I am, man – and I wanna thank you…”

“Whoa – don’t go thinking I’ve gone all soft and benevolent. I need to keep you and your drug-induced mortality trip off the radar. I figure daytime food service is a safe bet. That’s all.”

“Right.” Mick quirked up one corner of his mouth. “Whatever you say.”

“You about finished here? You have to be over at Peterson’s by 3:30.”

“Peterson’s? The auto museum?”

“Yeah – some ‘Family Day’ thing. They want an ice cream truck out in the parking lot.”

“Hey!” Mick called as the big car began to roll forward, “I thought I’d go to Musso’s tonight. See if the prime rib is still good. You wanna come?”

The limousine stopped and Josef leaned forward again. “Uh – no. As exciting as that sounds – sitting and watching you stuff dead animals into your face – I’ve got a better offer.” He licked lips. “Besides,” he added, “you can’t park an ice cream truck on Hollywood Boulevard.”

“I’ll take my car.”

“You can’t.”

“Whad’ya mean I can’t?”

“I borrowed it.”

“You borrowed my car?” Mick’s brows knitted together. “You hate my car.”

“Yeah. Well. How do you think I got you this job?”

“I don’t know – called in a favor? Paid somebody off? Killed somebody??”

Josef shook his head. “These ice cream guys – they’re more territorial than Old World vamps. Trust me. I know. You think Manny just handed over his route to an 85-year-old noob?”

Noob? Did you just call me a noob?” Mick raised an eyebrow. “So what’s this got to do with my car?”

“Remember Peterson’s?”

Mick stared at his friend blankly.

“Let’s just say I brokered a trade. Manny’s brother-in-law needed the U-boat as a last-minute replacement for a special exhibit – Mid-Century Classics. No way I was lending them another one of mine after they scratched my ’95 F-50 last fall during the Ferrari showcase. So, the Slow-mobile is going to be on display at Peterson’s for the next three days while you play Mr. Ding Dong.”

“Are you serious?”

“Have I mentioned,” Josef asked with pronounced annoyance, “that dealing with humans is a pain in the ass? Yes, I’m serious.” I’m serious about making sure Lance is out of the picture and that your sorry ass is safe before I let you loose on the town.

Mick threw up his hands, exasperated. “What am I supposed to do without a car?”

“Look, you don’t have any clients right now. Relax for a couple of days, let that pathetic mortal body of yours heal. Then, make that call.”

“What call?”

“The one you wanted to make before you even called me, but you didn’t have the nerve.”

“Josef –“

“Just do it.” He pulled down his sunglasses and squinted at Mick for a moment. “But lay off the ice cream or you’re going to be shopping for your next suit at John Madden’s House of Style.”

Mick snapped his head down to look at his midsection, frowned, and then looked back at his friend. “Very funny.”

“Just sayin’.” Josef quirked his head. “You keep eating like that and she’s not even going to recognize you by the time you get your act together.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“One more thing. When you’re done at the museum, you have a delivery to make.”

“Manny delivers ice cream?”

“No. Manny is a multi-faceted entrepreneur. And a ‘friend of the family.’ There’s a refrigerated compartment hidden on the right side of the freezer – it’s stocked with O positive. The address is in there. Some pathetic excuse for a vamp – a loser who never leaves his basement – gets a delivery of the stuff every week. Today’s his day.”

Mick scrubbed his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Don’t worry, he’s harmless,” Josef continued. “Rumor is he’s never bitten anyone. He won’t start with you.” Pause. “I hope.”

“Thanks for your concern.”

“I love irony, Mick, but having you drained by a fang virgin on your second day of mortality revisited is cold – even for me. Speaking of which, I’m overdue for some cold therapy of my own.” Josef raised his hand to signal his driver. “Have fun with yours.” The dark window rose silently, almost completely obscuring the vampire’s profile. Abruptly, it stopped and lowered again. Josef turned back to his friend, his voice sincere, “I hope you get to enjoy those tomatoes.” Before Mick could respond the window was up and the limo speeding away. He answered anyway, with a soft chuckle, “Thanks, buddy – for everything.”
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cassysj
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by cassysj »

That was so cute! Mick the ice cream man! If he had been human much longer he would have put on 40 pounds. I also like Logan gets his deliveries from the ice cream man.
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by PNWgal »

Very nice, Lilly - got this one in under the wire. ;)

Besides getting a wonderful giggle out of this, (and sitting here awed at your incredible talent), I was struck by how NORMAL Mick is. Guy's a vampire for 55 years, he's human and and he's...planting tomatoes? Just such a small thing, something we'd taken for granted...but not something someone's who reveling in his newfound humanity would.

As always, your Mick/Josef exchanges are just so fun and perfect. And I'm still sitting here grinning at the vision of Mick sitting in an ice cream truck eating his inventory. And I laughed out loud at Josef's description of Logan.

Lovely job!
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by francis »

Lilly!!!! You did it again. You included the three clues in a way I wouldn't have thought of in a million years, and you did it so seamlessly.
Not only that: this wasn't a story fabricated to fit the clues, this was actually a brilliant view into the mindset of human Mick, an exploration of the lengths Josef would go for his friend, an explanation of how Logan gets his blood that works wonderfully (after all, ice cream men deliver their goods, and they have a freezer), a lot of priceless banter over gardening, a day job and a vintage car, a conversation among friends about life and love and how to take opportunities, and overtones of Josef's worry how to keep Mick safe now while Mick is totally oblivious to that.

How do you get so many layers into a story that seems so silly and cute on the outside?

You're brilliant, that's it. That's my explanation, and I'm sticking to it. :heart:
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by Lilly »

Thanks, Carol - :giggle: I agree, there definitely would have been a lot more Mick if he kept eating like that. I couldn't help but be inspired by the little boy glee he showed as he shoved that dreadful pink doughnut in his mouth in Fated to Pretend.

P-gal - Yeah, nothing like a last minute entry. :roll: I got off to a good start, but really got hung up on the museum part. Once a little research put me on to the Peterson's idea, it started to come together.

Thank you so much for your comment. I could just see Mick trying to grow something, like maybe his family had done when he was a boy. Also, it's kind of symbolic, I guess. There were never any living things in Mick's apartment when he was a vampire -- no plants at all. Even Josef had flowers around.

francis - have I told you lately that I love you? :rose: Thank you.
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by wpgrace »

DELIGHTFUL!!!!!!!!!

First of all, you are the frikkin Goddess of MickJosef dialogue. You can write the boys together like no other. I always ACHE to SEE your scenes with our actors...

But this was just priceless... Josef worried so about Lance and working to keep Mick off the streets until he reverts... Oh I just love this Lilly...

Fun, nostalgic... delightful. :happysigh:
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by greenleaf9 »

Oh my Lilly!!

I'm sitting in a very quiet library, and I can't tell you how many times I had to stuff back my laughter. People are staring at me... :snicker:

This is absolutely priceless...I'm gonna agree with grace and say you are the Goddess of Mick and Josef dialog. I would kill to see this on screen!! :lol:

But this is more than just funny--there is a very nostalgic warmth infused throughout the entire piece...conveying a deep friendship. Josef has got Mick's back all right.

Very sweet--I loved it! :melts:
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by allegrita »

Oh, Lilly--this is absolutely wonderful. I don't think I could say it any better than francis did, but I'll try. This story seems to be so simple, but it's filled with meaning and emotional resonance. And you've managed to tie in a ton of little Moonlight details and loose ends in a completely believable way. There's so much affection and warmth between Mick and Josef, with a healthy dose of snark as well... and although she's never directly mentioned, Beth's presence imbues this story.

I'm so glad you wrote this story. It makes me smile so wide it hurts, and it brings tears to my eyes at the same time. Just beautiful!!!
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by RangerCM »

Just how DID Mick spend that week between Mortal Cure and FTP? Obviously, just the way you described here! :snicker: :snicker: :snicker:

Perfect!
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by coco »

Lilly that was fabulous.

I agree with everyone else - no one writes Mick/Josef dialogue quite like you. :thumbs:
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by Lilly »

grace, greenleaf, Alle, Ranger, and coco -- I can't thank you enough for your wonderful comments. :hearts: You know I love these guys. I love the way they can give one another a hard time yet never leave a doubt in your mind that they would do anything for one another. If you think I capture the spirit of their banter in my dialogue, that is one of the greatest compliments you could give me. :rose:
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by MoonShadow »

oh,oh, oh, oh, :clapping:

Lilly you are simply amazing. You never cease to stun me with you insight.
I love your work
:heart:

wow...
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by Trixie »

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Off the charts yet again Lilly!

Thanks for the smile...I really needed it today :hug:
~Trixie

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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by cassysj »

Trixie wrote:Image

Off the charts yet again Lilly!

Thanks for the smile...I really needed it today :hug:

I love the Lilly Scale nice reminder of all her stories.
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Re: Cold Therapy - PG - Champagne Challenge #104: Cluedo

Post by lynnrxgal »

Funny, fabulous, fantastic (UT OH - what's the fourth "F"?) Just kidding! Lilly, this is wonderful! What a Friday night treat to come home from work and read this so so so very original story. Ice cream and tomatoes! Two of my favorite things! Topped with Mick --- yummy!
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