Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

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Lilly
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Lilly »

Alle -- thank you so much for your comment here. :hug: And also for your sweet concern about what's rattling around inside my head. :confused2: :snicker: It's funny (at least I think it is) -- when I first thought of doing this, I heard Shepherd's voice much more clearly and I tried to write it from his point of view, but I couldn't make it work. Then Drake kind of barged in, all PR and hype, and sort of took over the show. :roll:

Red - just :hug: and :rose:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Phoenix »

Lilly wrote:Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. I don't even want them. I'm willing to forget the whole thing. :gasp: :roll: :?


Lilly, that cracks me up every time. :snicker:
Lilly wrote:Hell-ooo, Sweetheart.”

I stop. That voice. Like a Lamborghini on gravel.
"That voice" is right. :eek2:
Lilly wrote:God, what I’d give for that voice. I mean, I work with what I’ve got –thin with a hint of nasal is non-threatening and that can be deceiving – and I learned a few tricks over the years. Slow and low. It’s a psychological thing. If you speak slowly, people give your words more weight, and if you never raise your voice, it gives the illusion of always being in control. It’s a trick I perfected after years of practice. For Donny, it’s just raw instinct.
Shepherd really did have something going for him ... in a crazy mass-murderer kinda way. :confused2:

Lilly, I'm drawn to this piece like a moth to a flame. It really is a modern classic. :notworthy:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Lilly »

Thank you, Phoenix. :rose: These guys only shared the screen for a minute and a half, but the dynamic between them was about as good as it gets. Somehow, I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to them. Not sure what that says about me. :shrug:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by redwinter101 »

So, surprise, surprise, I love this story - and am so happy to be back (again :roll: ) for a re-read.

Jerry Drake's vanity is SO all-consuming, you know, you just know, he would do anything for another hit. Anything to flatter his own ego. Anything to be important. Right from the very first words, "Stevie, baby" I'm hooked. I can see and hear him. A Moonlight version of Don Simpson. And even when faced with a man he KNOWS is dangerous, unpredictable and undoubtedly criminal, he's still thinking about his next big score:
Lilly wrote:If he weren’t so freaking unpredictable, I’d cast him in something. Anything. Brooding loner, tortured musician, psychotic killer… But he’s above all that now.
He is a hideous creation - in many ways more so than Shepherd. At least he could blame psychosis for his actions whereas for Drake, it's just vanity and greed. He makes me shudder.

But he's got Shepherd's number:
Lilly wrote:He’s like a goldmine. Or a landmine.
Oh that's just wonderful. :clapping:
Lilly wrote:What would I do for kicks? Not him. But, for money, or power in this town – or one more week on fire? What wouldn’t I do? Everyone wants a piece of me – and every piece is negotiable.
Oh we know, Jerry. We know. And eventually, so will you.

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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Luxe de Luxe »

oh yeah.... this is a standout piece, Lilly. You've got Jerry's sleazy voice down perfectly. You write dialogue particularly well. I was totally fascinated by this slice of life in the Hollywood Hills.
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Lilly »

Red, you've been such a cheerleader for this story :cheer: -- your enthusiasm for this piece just tickles me more than I can say. :smooch:

Luxe - thank you for that. I'm still a little amazed at how Jerry's voice was able to come through so well, considering that all I could hear in my head when I started was Shepherd. :confused2:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by francis »

This is still more than fantastic. You got Jerry's and Donny's voice so well. They scare me both, but I can't stop reading. What a great piece of work!!! :flowers:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by redwinter101 »

I meant to post last week, when 12:04 aired, but time got away from me. Re-watching 12:04 reminded me how perfect your depiction of Jerry Drake is - awesomely so, and just one of the myriad reasons I keep coming back to this wonderful fic time and time again.

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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by Lilly »

Thank you so much, Red. :hug: Your kind words for this piece always bring a smile to my face. Somehow, this strange little story gives me faith that there is inspiration to be found in the most unexpected places.
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - PG13

Post by allegrita »

:rolling: So true, and so... I don't know, profound! Who'da thunk that Jerry Drake would speak to you so very, very clearly, Lilly?! :dizzy: I, too, adore this story, partly because it is very much outside almost everyone's comfort zone. I'm in awe of your ability to channel the utter sleaze of Jerry Drake, and the menace and allure of Donovan Shepherd. This story makes me squirm, and that's exactly what it ought to do. Thank you, Red, for popping this fabulous story back up!
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - P

Post by Shadow »

:gasp: Whoa, reading that was an experience. Just that little bit of time inside Jerry Drake's head seems to have made the world turn a few flips. Who knew how perfect the title would be . . . negotiable really is Drake's mantra on life. Lilly, I think this is particularly amazing because I've read a number of your other stories and I would never have guessed, without knowing the author, that this was also yours. In fact all your stories that I've read so far have different styles and voices, but this one is a world of difference, and not many writers are capable of so much variety in their work! It's really almost scary how far you got into this guy's head. I particularly loved all his little asides, the random thoughts that struck him as the story progressed. These two characters are so much more interesting to me now, and you could really feel Shepherd's charisma. You knew he had to have it in the show, to have all those followers, but this is the first time I really felt it. It's going to be a treat watching 12:04 next time with this in mind!
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - P

Post by allegrita »

So glad Shadow brought this one up out of the depths. (Dregs?) :snicker: Geez, Lilly, it never ceases to amaze me that a person as genuinely nice as you could capture these two horrifyingly non-nice people so perfectly. :confused2: But that just goes to show what an amazing ear you have for dialogue, and what a wonderful writer you are. :notworthy:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - P

Post by Lilly »

Shadow - thank you SO much for your comment! :hug: Of all the things I've written, this is the one I was most nervous about posting -- even though I "heard" it very clearly as I was writing it. :? I really appreciate what you said about my different styles. It's something I've worked at, so to have that acknowledged means a great deal to me. :rose:


Alle -- what can I say? You know how much I appreciate your insight and your support. :hug: :smooch:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - P

Post by maggatha3 »

:phew: Geez, now, how to comment on that? It was unexpected, different, original, interesting and really , really true to those two characters. But I felt like I was climbing a never ending stair, those two make the hardest coule to ...digest!!

Lilly, I am really amazed! :thud:
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Re: Negotiable (Challenge #3) - Slash - Minor characters - P

Post by Lilly »

:snicker: Thanks, maggatha. I'll be the first to admit that they make a very odd pairing :blushing: but somehow it works. It works because they are both users -- and neither is above using the other to get what he wants. Drake would never admit it, of course, but he is way out of his league this time. The term "in bed with the devil" takes on new meaning with these two.
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