Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

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Lilly
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Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by Lilly »

This is my response to the "I'm a Vampire" Champagne Challenge (#103). Told as a Mick voice over.

Disclaimer: I don't own the world of Moonlight or its inhabitants, but I like to think of it was my home away from home. No copyright infringement is ever intended.



Instinct

The instinct for survival is strong. It’s what keeps a species going. For vampires, it’s part of us on a cellular level. You can try to maintain some sort of control – a grasp of who you are – but the fact is, there’s a point where who you are takes a back seat to what you are. And the result can tear you apart.

So what happened tonight?

Spaulding screwed up. The same way I did twenty-five years ago. If he’d been less talk and more action, he could have finished the job. And I could have gone down in a blaze of – what? Not glory. There’s no glory when you’re lying on the ground, writhing in pain. But at least I could have died as Beth’s hero – instead of living as her worst nightmare.

Tonight she ended Lee Jay’s life – and turned mine upside down.

When you’ve got a back full of silver and the poison is spreading, instinct keeps you going, keeps you focused on what you need to do to survive. That’s how I got here. Everything else was static – white noise – until I heard her heart pounding, like she was trying to break down my door. Only problem is, I had left the damn door open. And she walked right in. I guess even instinct screws up once in a while.

She caught me red-handed – literally. And there was nowhere to hide anymore. Believe me, I tried. Problem is – instinct doesn’t always think things through. You can’t turn off the vampire when survival is on the line – and immediate survival means blood, not worrying about who knows you’re a monster.

She was asking questions, but the only one that registered – the only one that mattered – was, “What are you?” And there was no way out. As my body was screaming, blood, damn it, I need blood; my soul was whimpering an answer. What am I? I’m broken and I’m naked and I’m alone. And right now I’m more scared than I’ve been in fifty-five years. I tried to run away back then, but there’s no escaping it now.

“I’m a vampire.”

You can tell a lot from a person’s eyes, and for a split second I thought she heard me begging her, please don’t be afraid of me. Then the horror registered on her face and I knew there was no going back to the shadows. Everything I had protected for all those years was destroyed in the light of three blinding words.

They say the best defense is a good offense – not that I made a conscious decision. I yelled at her, “Get out. Get out and don’t come back.” Yeah, maybe it was instinct kicking in again. But if I’m being honest, I can’t tell you which one of us I was trying to protect. My body was waging a battle with my head. Sooner or later, the need for blood was going to win and I didn’t want her there when it did. I don’t know how, but I pulled myself up and let her see the blood-stained monster in all its glory. Larger than life. Uglier than death.

She hesitated, opened her mouth like she wanted to say something. But all I heard was my name, like a question asking what happened to the man she thought she knew.

“Go!” It came out more of a snarl than I intended, but instinct had smelled an opening. I half expected some resistance, but she was still in shock. She looked back once and asked if I’d be all right. Maybe I shouldn’t have turned my back, but I just couldn’t stand to see that look in her eyes again.

Pity and condemnation are two side of the same coin and I wasn’t taking donations. At least not that kind. I just never thought the sound of that door clicking shut could bring me to my knees so quickly.

What now? I don’t know. There’s a poison inside me and it’s deeper and more deadly than what Guillermo dug out. I’ll live, but I’ll never be alive again. I thought I’d gotten used to that idea until tonight. It’s instinct -- you go on because you have to. But whatever it is that keeps me here – I’m not sure it’s enough anymore. I just drove off the one thing that made it bearable.

So here I am with this lighter – flicking it on, off, on – staring into the flames again and wondering if I should finish what Spaulding started. Wondering – if who I am is greater than what I am.

Maybe it’s not up to me to decide. The instinct for survival is strong – but sometimes the need for connection is stronger.


-------
Lilly

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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Another great one Lilly, I especially loved 'Pity and condemnation are two side of the same coin and I wasn’t taking donations'. An incredible line in a wonderful story. Well written. Very beautiful images. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by Trixie »

WOW!!

I always tell myself to prepare to be amazed when I read one of your labors of love Lilly, and this is no exception!

Lilly wrote:Tonight she ended Lee Jay’s life – and turned mine upside down.

Turned Mick's life upside down ~ and all of us along for the ride.

Love ya girl!
~Trixie

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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by librarian_7 »

This is the one that really gets me...
my soul was whimpering an answer. What am I? I’m broken and I’m naked and I’m alone. And right now I’m more scared than I’ve been in fifty-five years. I tried to run away back then, but there’s no escaping it now.
Amazing. And heartbreaking.

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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by lunalux »

Most excellent, Lily. Beautifully written, and the pity and condemnation line? loved it. and "Wondering – if who I am is greater than what I am." crystallizes in one sentence so much of Mick's story. Perfection.
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by cassysj »

That is so sad and so Mick. :sadface: You really have a wonderful ear for him. Interesting take on the challenge with Mick's POV.

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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by allegrita »

Lilly, this is brilliant. Not only is it pure Mick, but it's brilliant--it makes perfect sense that he went to Guillermo to get the shot taken out and get the blood that would help him heal.
I’ll live, but I’ll never be alive again. I thought I’d gotten used to that idea until tonight. It’s instinct -- you go on because you have to. But whatever it is that keeps me here – I’m not sure it’s enough anymore. I just drove off the one thing that made it bearable.
Perfect--heartbreakingly regretful, beautiful Mick. :comfort:

Thank goodness Beth isn't that easily scared off. :snicker: :hearts:
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by darkstarrising »

Lilly,

the V/O is perfect...the cadence of his speech is spot on

he knows he can't hide anymore
Everything I had protected for all those years was destroyed in the light of three blinding words.
but he doesn't know if he can take being a monster in her eyes.
So here I am with this lighter – flicking it on, off, on – staring into the flames again and wondering if I should finish what Spaulding started. Wondering – if who I am is greater than what I am.
Will the man or the vamp prevail?

Beautifully done!! :hearts:
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by one.zebra »

well, unwilling as it was...he opened himself up to the one human who can save him, body and soul.
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by PNWgal »

Again...I am SO glad I posted first.

Lilly, this was brilliant. You have such a wonderful handle on Mick.
As my body screaming, blood, damn it, I need blood; my soul was whimpering an answer. What am I? I’m broken and I’m naked and I’m alone. And right now I’m more scared than I’ve been in fifty-five years. I tried to run away back then, but there’s no escaping it now.
I. Loved. That.
Pity and condemnation are two side of the same coin and I wasn’t taking donations.
Man, this was PRICELESS.

Fabulous!
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by mitzie »

Very striking answer to the challenge!! The starkness and depth of Mick's aloneness really hits me here. Wonderful!!!! :clapping: :clapping: :Mickangel: :bmoon: :clapping: :clapping: :yahoo: :clapping: :clapping: :thud: :notworthy: :rose:

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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by Lilly »

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and comment. :hug: I wasn't sure -- posting so late and right before the board closing -- if many people would even see this.

To be honest, I had thought I'd be skipping this challenge. Mick hasn't spoken to me in quite a while -- and I'm not really sure where this came from. I'm so glad you thought his voice rang true.
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by wpgrace »

Ahhhh! There's a wonderfully noirish feel to this v/o and I love that about it! It is so in keeping with the show at that point in time...and this starts us off just perfectly for what is to come... and also has that dark humor/deep pain noir vibe that I really loved about the earlier shows:
Lilly wrote:So what happened tonight?

Spaulding screwed up. The same way I did twenty-five years ago. If he’d been less talk and more action, he could have finished the job. And I could have gone down in a blaze of – what? Not glory. There’s no glory when you’re lying on the ground, writhing in pain. But at least I could have died as Beth’s hero – instead of living as her worst nightmare.
And then, similar vibe, just perfect, sooooo much like the Mick from that ep:
Lilly wrote:She caught me red-handed – literally. And there was nowhere to hide anymore. Believe me, I tried. Problem is – instinct doesn’t always think things through. You can’t turn off the vampire when survival is on the line – and immediate survival means blood, not worrying about who knows you’re a monster.
I love his POV... and I love how you've captured his "voice." And you're not late... neither you nor Lucky were late. We've gotten a wonderfully steady stream for this challenge... gives us time to digest one and then enjoy the next one. You timed it perfect!
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by jenstc2003 »

That was.... WOW! I loved it Lilly. The emotional intensity of that scene was amazing on screen, and you've brought it to life again here!
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Re: Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

Post by Fleur de Lisa »

The first lines in this hooked me, and I was a goner. Completely gone. In your backpocket. Gone.
This is fantastic. Mick at his brooding, angst-ridden best. Every line is a winner. Every. single. line.
Tonight she ended Lee Jay’s life – and turned mine upside down.
And so it begins. Love the power and simplicity of these words.
Everything else was static – white noise –
and
She caught me red-handed – literally.
Your genius is provoking so much emotion with so few words. Loved these lines--unique and wonderful.
my soul was whimpering an answer. What am I? I’m broken and I’m naked and I’m alone.
My heart clenched in my chest, and my stomach flipped at this admission. So powerful were these words, that they evoked a physical response.
Pity and condemnation are two side of the same coin and I wasn’t taking donations. At least not that kind. I just never thought the sound of that door clicking shut could bring me to my knees so quickly.
I don't even know where to begin with this section. I re-read it 3 times, I loved it so. Brilliant--that's all I have to offer.

I should have just highlighted the whole damn thing, really. It is so wonderful Lilly. I am blown away by this and am absolutely in love with your writing.
The instinct for survival is strong – but sometimes the need for connection is stronger.
Sorry, couldn't help myself. His heartache just brings me to my knees. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!!
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