Request for Member Discussion: What is too invasive?

[Fleur de Lisa]

See, I wasn't fully aware of all the delusional Alex haters/former fans. Perhaps it's just me blocking that kind of nonsense out of my mind or just not paying attention to it, bc Really? How nuts are these people for blaming him for stuff that he has no control over?? That was kinda my point about decency--whether it's intrusive photos, tabloid rumors or stupid 'fans' spouting delusional, ridiculous venom----it all hearkens back to where is the decency? It just disappoints me and makes me sad.

People hiding behind computers and cell phones spewing this stuff just sickens me. I know there always gonna be fringe fans out there--those that are way too obsessive over their celeb, but a lot of this is borne from the anonymity the internet provides and makes these weak, thoughtless individuals think themselves to be brave and enlightened.

[Emerald]

Those sorts of invasion of privacy photos make me very uncomfortable, I'd prefer they weren't posted at all. I'm more uncomfortable when the photos appear to have possibly come from a fan, like Lilly said. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say about it, but Alex does have a potential stalker, if she hasn't already crossed that line, who is clearly not in her right mind. (rest edited due to being in a public part of the board)

So if there is still a deranged stalker out there, how do we know, how do any of us know that she isn't crazy enough to fly to Hawaii (my opinion, she absolutely is) and isn't stalking Alex around grocery stores taking everyday shots of him to play into her deluded fantasies?

[Emerald]

See, I wasn't fully aware of all the delusional Alex haters/former fans. Perhaps it's just me blocking that kind of nonsense out of my mind or just not paying attention to it, bc Really? How nuts are these people for blaming him for stuff that he has no control over?? That was kinda my point about decency--whether it's intrusive photos, tabloid rumors or stupid 'fans' spouting delusional, ridiculous venom----it all hearkens back to where is the decency? It just disappoints me and makes me sad.

People hiding behind computers and cell phones spewing this stuff just sickens me. I know there always gonna be fringe fans out there--those that are way too obsessive over their celeb, but a lot of this is borne from the anonymity the internet provides and makes these weak, thoughtless individuals think themselves to be brave and enlightened.

I should let you sneak a peek at my inbox for the AOL Fans for Donate Life sometime, and you can read some of the hate mail I get, because a segment of the fanbase thinks a) I have some sort of influence over Alex or his management (I don't) so why aren't I getting Alex to do XYZ, and b) If I'm not delivering things on demand, like clapping my hands and making things magically fall from the sky, then I'm a lying liar who lies (and that's the polite version)....Rest edited for privacy, forgot I was on a public section of the board.

There are some absolute nutjobs out there, you have no idea.

[twilightdew]

The issue of actor privacy is something that has come up on a fan forum (not Moonlight related) that I help run as well. While we haven't had the issue of pap photos come up (fortunately!) a question about an actor's love life quickly escalated into some very hurtful, negative gossip about the actor's possible girlfriend. Despite some member protest, the owner and I decided to remove the content and make those type of discussions strictly off-limits. In our particular situation, the snowball effect that occurred afterwards is what steered things into a really bad place.

I personally don't really care for pap photos because I know that it bothers the actors. Yeah, I know that is supposed to be "the price of fame" but I think there gets to be a point where it's s a matter of respect. I know I hate people staring at me while I'm eating tacos or picking out tampons - I can't imagine it being posted up on YouTube or analyzed on Twitter. It seems that celebrities often get to a point where they have to accept it to some extent just to keep their sanity but it definitely bugs them at times, some more than others. One of my relatives works where she runs into a number of celebrities. She tells me that she can basically tell right away by their body language how they wanted to be treated. It seems that majority wanted to be treated and talked to as you would everyone else. But there are those in the more extreme areas. She has a set of celebrities that she sees occasionally and it is all business. They just want to be left alone and don't want to engage in general chit-chat. I suppose they get so hounded all of the time that they just want to "be." (Then again, maybe they are just snooty and would be like that regardless of their celebrity status.) And there are a few that like being treated like celebrities and enjoy signing autographs, even years after being in the spotlight.

To the admin/mods:
I just want you all to know that I admire you and applaud the work do here.

[Lucy]

I sat in a restaurant one day....my teen nephew was with me. Case in point:

He is a BIG COSPLAY/Dragon con fan. He put down his menu and said, 'whoa, that's___________' (I had no idea who he was) he went on to say how big a fan he was of the sci-fi creator sitting with his wife. I had my camera's long lens and they were just looking at a menu about 60 feet away. I asked if he wanted a discrete photo and my teen nephew said. "He's really a private person, no I'll just remember this moment cause I get to watch him being normal."

WOW, he's a good kid!

I don't know if I would have been able to resist snapping a photo of AOL 60 feet away!

I'd hate for someone to snap photos of condoms or pregnancy tests in his grocery cart.... I want SOME of the mystery .... don't want to even know that he was buying SKOAL after he got out of rehab actually.... but I was so happy to see him smiling it took a while to figure what was in the bag.

IF only he would publish an official photo of Malia and Lion (Like so many stars do....he could donate the sales to a charity like Brangelina)

[twilightdew]

I sat in a restaurant one day....my teen nephew was with me. Case in point:

He is a BIG COSPLAY/Dragon con fan. He put down his menu and said, 'whoa, that's___________' (I had no idea who he was) he went on to say how big a fan he was of the sci-fi creator sitting with his wife. I had my camera's long lens and they were just looking at a menu about 60 feet away. I asked if he wanted a discrete photo and my teen nephew said. "He's really a private person, no I'll just remember this moment cause I get to watch him being normal."

WOW, he's a good kid!

Aww, that is so awesome and shows just what a fan he is! He has the experience and that is what it is all about. A photo is just a photo, after all.

[PNWgal]

The issue of actor privacy is something that has come up on a fan forum (not Moonlight related) that I help run as well. While we haven't had the issue of pap photos come up (fortunately!) a question about an actor's love life quickly escalated into some very hurtful, negative gossip about the actor's possible girlfriend. Despite some member protest, the owner and I decided to remove the content and make those type of discussions strictly off-limits. In our particular situation, the snowball effect that occurred afterwards is what steered things into a really bad place.

I personally don't really care for pap photos because I know that it bothers the actors. Yeah, I know that is supposed to be "the price of fame" but I think there gets to be a point where it is really is a matter of respect. I know I hate people staring at me while I'm eating tacos or picking out tampons - I can't imagine it being posted up on YouTube or analyzed on Twitter. It seems that celebrities often get to a point where they have to accept it to some extent just to keep their sanity but it definitely bugs them at times, some more than others. One of my relatives works where she runs into a number of celebrities. She tells me that she can basically tell right away by their body language how they wanted to be treated. It seems that majority wanted to be treated and talked to as you would everyone else. But there are those in the more extreme areas. She has a set of celebrities that she sees occasionally and it is all business. They just want to be left alone and don't want to engage in general chit-chat. I suppose they get so hounded all of the time that they just want to "be." (Then again, maybe they are just snooty and would be like that regardless of their celebrity status.) And there are a few that like being treated them like a celebrity and like being asked for autographs.

To the admin/mods:
I just want you all to know that I admire you and applaud the work do here.

twilightdew...

I remember reading a story about Tom Selleck awhile ago being constantly harrassed by fans for pictures and autographs while he was shopping at a NY department store. When the clerk offered to move him to a more private place in the store, Mr. Selleck told him/her he didn't mind because if he didn't have fans, he wouldn't have had such a great career. VERY classy and generous. True, not every celebrity is that magnanimous, and there more than a few that could take a lesson from the great Mr. Selleck, but fans hold some responsibility as well.

To me, disturbing someone while they're doing something personal like eating is a definite no-no. Unless the restaurant is on fire or we're being invaded by steak-eating aliens, I don't even want the waitstaff to bother me once I get my meal - I can imagine a celebrity feels that way tenfold.

IF only he would publish an official photo of Malia and Lion (Like so many stars do....he could donate the sales to a charity like Brangelina)

There's an almost 90-page discussion over at Just Jared re: Malia and Lion and Alex, ad nauseum. Alex is not required to publish anything official simply because fans want it. He was almost fanatically private about Saxon when he was a little guy - I don't see him doing anything differently for this new baby. My admiration for Alex inched up a bit for not exploiting the birth of his son for money.

[Emerald]

The issue of actor privacy is something that has come up on a fan forum (not Moonlight related) that I help run as well. While we haven't had the issue of pap photos come up (fortunately!) a question about an actor's love life quickly escalated into some very hurtful, negative gossip about the actor's possible girlfriend. Despite some member protest, the owner and I decided to remove the content and make those type of discussions strictly off-limits. In our particular situation, the snowball effect that occurred afterwards is what steered things into a really bad place.

I personally don't really care for pap photos because I know that it bothers the actors. Yeah, I know that is supposed to be "the price of fame" but I think there gets to be a point where it is really is a matter of respect. I know I hate people staring at me while I'm eating tacos or picking out tampons - I can't imagine it being posted up on YouTube or analyzed on Twitter. It seems that celebrities often get to a point where they have to accept it to some extent just to keep their sanity but it definitely bugs them at times, some more than others. One of my relatives works where she runs into a number of celebrities. She tells me that she can basically tell right away by their body language how they wanted to be treated. It seems that majority wanted to be treated and talked to as you would everyone else. But there are those in the more extreme areas. She has a set of celebrities that she sees occasionally and it is all business. They just want to be left alone and don't want to engage in general chit-chat. I suppose they get so hounded all of the time that they just want to "be." (Then again, maybe they are just snooty and would be like that regardless of their celebrity status.) And there are a few that like being treated like celebrities and enjoy signing autographs, even years after being in the spotlight.

To the admin/mods:
I just want you all to know that I admire you and applaud the work do here.

I used to do contract computer work for our state's main theatre and theatre company. Through that I was exposed to a fair few high profile local, and national Australian artists. Your relative is right, you can usually tell when to approach, and when not to. There were times when I had to go backstage during rehearsals, or go into the actors dressing rooms (I always knocked first, or checked their schedule), or I would see them in a director's office, to give some examples. Obviously during these times the most I ever said was 'please excuse me, I'm here to work on the computers, would you like me to come back at a more convenient time' (or words to that effect). Most of the time they were like 'Nah, you're right' or 'Sure, no problem, but can you please just keep any noise to a minimum'. Even if you saw an actor sitting in the green room eating lunch, or having a snack, or even just sitting there by themselves, it still wasn't a-okay to go up to them. They could have been running lines through their head, going over a scene they'd just rehearsed, reviewing a performance they'd just given. The ones where you knew it was okay to speak to them, that they were on downtime and were just basically chilling, you still didn't go up to them and start gushing and asking for autographs. It was more like (brief conversation) - "Saw your performance last night, really enjoyed" - "Thanks". To be honest I spent the first day at work walking around a little star struck and the rest of the time, because you saw them going about their daily work life so much, it was just like "Hey look, an actor, oh hey there's Jo Bloggs who works in accounting', they were just there to do a job same as the rest of us. It wasn't a big deal after that.

And ditto to what else you said.

[allegrita]

I think it says a lot about the kind of people who choose to join MLA that we have so few occasions when we need to mod someone for posting something that we consider inappropriate in ANY way. We aren't a big community, and for the most part, our members kinda self-regulate, understanding the "atmosphere" of this board. I feel very lucky to have such wonderful members, who take the time to share their thoughts--and who express them so eloquently. And thank you all for expressing your appreciation of our Admin/Mod team. This site is definitely a labor of love.

I've seen how quickly a conversation that started out perfectly amicably can turn ugly, and I'm sorry that you had trouble with that sort of thing on your own forum, twilightdew. With a large and ardent fandom, it's harder to maintain the cozy friendliness that we have here, and when people don't know one another that well, things can be said in haste or anger that spark a huge firestorm of responses. So I'm doubly grateful to all of you for being considerate of one another, and of this place. You rock.

I've got to agree with Pgal on the baby pictures thing. Even if Alex and Malia were as hugely famous as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I'd hope that they wouldn't sell baby pictures, even for charity. Little kids should be off limits, in my book.

[twilightdew]

Haha, that is another things she says too. It's really only once and awhile now that she finds herself *star struck* but at this point dealing with celebrities isn't a big deal for her. I remember one time chatting up with an actress and it wasn't until she walked away that someone told me who she was. I had seen her occasionally on TV (not really a fan of hers or anything) and I didn't recognize her at the time. If I had, I wouldn't have done anything differently and I know I wouldn't have mentioned her celebrity status.

I remember Halley Berry getting really upset about photos being taken of her child and I understand being weirded out by that. I think that kid pics should be off limits took unless they are posing for a picture, like at an event.

I you guys.

[Lucy]

IF only he would publish an official photo of Malia and Lion (Like so many stars do....he could donate the sales to a charity like Brangelina)

There's an almost 90-page discussion over at Just Jared re: Malia and Lion and Alex, ad nauseum. Alex is not required to publish anything official simply because fans want it. He was almost fanatically private about Saxon when he was a little guy - I don't see him doing anything differently for this new baby. My admiration for Alex inched up a bit for not exploiting the birth of his son for money.

This is where we have a difference of opinion. Some famous people have done photo shoots and sent the $$ to a personal charity. My respect of Alex's behavior hinges on how he interacts with press and with his fans and his work ethic. If he were to help an Aussie program or the Donor Awareness programs (or any of his past charities) I'd be tickled to support him that way. If he doesn't I still send up good wishes for the health of the child....just curious as heck how beautiful a child he made with his exotic partner!

[wpgrace]

Well I didn't know he had an official stalker, but I'm not surprised. He seems to stir strong emotions, and some of his "fans" seem to take it personally when they are not the center of his world.

For example, on the tvGuide website, with pics of the hottest actors, Alex is among them (of course). You can thumbs up or down the actor. Most actors have a couple dozen thumbs ups, and a half dozenish thumbs downs.

Alex has over 800 ups and about 100 downs. The boy stirs feelings. He's quite the phenom that way, but Lord bless him, keep him, and protect him, cuz Mr. Privacy surely isn't trying to have this kind of impact.

[Emerald]

Well I didn't know he had an official stalker, but I'm not surprised. He seems to stir strong emotions, and some of his "fans" seem to take it personally when they are not the center of his world.

Just to clarify, I'm not sure if she is considered a stalker by any sort of legal definition, and I'm not sure if she has crossed the line in terms of actually following Alex or trying to send him stuff. But she has made a number of very deluded claims online, and there was an incident that bought her to the attention of Alex's management. Beyond that, like I said, I'm not sure how much I can say. But yes, in her delusional fantasy world I can see her crossing the line into full blown stalking (my opinion). All I will say is that Alex's management have been given information to compile on her.

[allegrita]

Well, to be honest, I don't think that specific discussion of the behavior of a disturbed individual is relevant here anyway. There's a huge difference between the distribution by "normal" fans of what could be construed as invasive pictures and videos, and the obsessive behavior of a delusional person. Sad to say, being the object of crazy people's obsessions goes with the territory of being an actor. (Just ask Jodie Foster!) Alex is by no means alone in this. We can't protect him from people who are truly mentally ill. That's what security people are for, and I think he and the 5-0 management have that pretty well covered. What we can do is to respect his wish to be given space in which to live his personal life, especially where his family is concerned.

[PNWgal]

This is where we have a difference of opinion. Some famous people have done photo shoots and sent the $$ to a personal charity. My respect of Alex's behavior hinges on how he interacts with press and with his fans and his work ethic. If he were to help an Aussie program or the Donor Awareness programs (or any of his past charities) I'd be tickled to support him that way. If he doesn't I still send up good wishes for the health of the child....just curious as heck how beautiful a child he made with his exotic partner!

And my respect of Alex hinges on how he does his job and his public interactions, not how much or little he exposes his family to public scrutiny. I think I've stated before that Alex chose this life. His children did not, and I respect him for trying to shield them from the public as much as he can. I'm kinda happy he chose not to release photos of his new baby - whether or not celebrity baby photo money is donated to charity, I still see it as exploiting those children for money. They can't choose whether or not to have their images out there in the public eye, and as a parent, I'm slightly disgusted celebrities choose to sell their children's photos to the highest bidder.