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Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 6:15 pm
by MickLifeCrisis
Disclaimer: I do not own Moonlight or any of its dialogue.
Rated: PG
A/N: For the Dark Challenge, #176
Many thanks to Allegrita for the wonderful suggestions to smooth out the rough spots. :kiss: :flowers:


Into the Night


The rain raged outside the windows, storm clouds blocking the moonlight and starlight. But it didn’t matter to Mick how dark the house was; he could see every piece of furniture as he paced agitatedly. No more hitting my shin on a coffee table corner ever again, he thought ironically. But I’d gladly trade bruised shins to have my life back.

He stopped suddenly and bent over, grabbing his midsection. The blood lust was like an erupting volcano in his gut. Each cramp stronger than the one before. Each one rising higher and higher. He couldn’t decide what to do. Coraline could return at any moment, bringing yet another innocent young woman for him to feed upon. So he could suck out her lifeblood to satisfy his own cravings, and thus continue this undead life Coraline had condemned him to. She would stand and watch – he hated that – and he would be powerless to stop himself once he smelled the fear and heard the blood rushing through the innocent’s veins.

No! He couldn’t do it anymore. Mick pressed his hands to his temples, trying to think. There must be another way to get the blood he needed. Another human source. Not an innocent. Definitely not a child. He shuddered at the thought. He knew there were predators – of a different kind – out there who needed to be dealt with. Maybe he could do the world a favor.

He knew Coraline would never allow it; he had to escape. But if he went out into the night, could he control himself? His fangs had already elongated, and he couldn’t yet master their emergence. I can keep my mouth closed to hide them from sight, he told himself. I can do this.

Another cramp wracked his body and he screamed. At the pain. At Coraline. At the unfairness of it all. At the night. He pushed open the door and ran out into the rain.

He found himself in the park not really knowing how he got there, following an instinct that led him to prey. He saw a young couple walking together, huddled under the same umbrella. No! He turned away and leaned against a tree for support. But it would be so easy, the devil on his shoulder whispered. Snap the boy’s neck, take the girl and run. Or better yet, grab them both and feed till you’re sated. You have the power! Use it!

NO! NO!
Mick covered his ears and shook his head, trying to regain control. He bit his own arm and sucked at the blood, hoping it would satisfy. It didn’t. Sobbing, he ran some more.

There! A drunk asleep on the bench! Mick stopped. Stared. Tormented by the thought of taking a life. Any life. But he needed to feed; he couldn’t stand the blood lust any longer. The drunk isn’t a predator, though. He’s really just as innocent as the young girls Coraline brings me. Mick shook his head again, his control hanging on by a thread, ready to break. The drunk or the young lovers. Hating himself, he chose the drunk. The old man didn’t even stir as Mick bit into his neck and drained his life away. When it was over, Mick collapsed in a heap, oblivious to the pouring rain, and passed out from exhaustion.


MLMLMLML


“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

Mick opened his eyes, dismayed to find himself back in Coraline’s house. She smiled at him and he turned his face away.

“Mick, darling, you can’t just go running out into the night like that. You don’t have the control yet.” Silence. “You’re lucky I found you before someone else did,” Coraline continued. “I brought you back here and had the Cleaners take care of the drunk. A drunk! Really, Mick? When I brought a fresh young thing for you that you could have had instead?”

Mick quickly brushed away a few tears.

“Oh, Mick! Don’t worry, I’ve kept her alive. You can have her at your next feeding.”


The End

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 12:03 am
by allegrita
Oh, poor Mick. :Mickangel: You establish his situation perfectly with your first paragraph. Mick pacing, hurting, desperate--but still seeing the irony in his plight.

He's at a very dark place, still dependent on Coraline and her ways of doing things, but beginning to search for a way out. The thing I love most about this story is that Mick is already piecing together a way of coping with his situation, of using his abilities to rid the world of some of its human predators rather than preying on innocents. But he's not there yet. He can't break free, no matter how hard he tries. He's stuck in a trap, and at least for now, he can't get out. :bmoon: No wonder he told Beth that he did some terrible things in the past. :sigh:

Thank you for this glimpse into Mick soon after he was turned. It's dark indeed, but there are glimmers of a way out.

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 3:03 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Thank you, Allegrita! :kiss: Yes, dark and sad Mick. :Mickangel: :bmoon: But at least we know he will eventually get better!

Mick has a long way to go before he can feel useful ridding the world of predators. But the seed has been planted, and one day, when he is free from Coraline, it will be able to grow.

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2018 3:03 am
by Luxe de Luxe
Yikes! There are so many forms of ‘dark’ in this fic MLC, mainly pertaining to poor Mick’s situation rather than to his new nocturnal sleep wake cycle. The first dark that I see in this is the physical impact of the blood lust on him. It’s painful and it drives him to the second dark - the need to regularly murder his fellow man. Our Mick, the good decent man he was, hates this dark place he’s in, which takes us to the third dark alluded to in this fic - the corruption of his love for Coraline. We know, because it’s Mick, that the love he initially felt for her would have been wholehearted and generous but now it’s tainted by the vampiric need which he despises and his relegation as a newbie to an infantilised role as fledgling being taken care of by her rather than as her husband, an equal. There is a glimmer of light here, Mick’s attempt to confine his kills to wrongdoers, but that only leaves us with the fourth dark of this fic - the futility of Mick’s faint hopes. Coraline has killed Mick’s first attempt to be less monstrous by keeping the girl alive. In the end we’re left with the fifth and final dark of this little fic - Mick cannot escape what he is. He is a vampire forever.

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 3:30 pm
by MickLifeCrisis
Wow, Luxe de Luxe! Thank you so much for the deep and wonderful insight! :hug: I have to admit that all those kinds of dark you mentioned hadn't occurred to me as I wrote this :blushing: , but I love that you found them. I especially like your comment about the corruption of his love for Coraline. How as a newbie, she is now taking care of him as if he were a child (which in vampire years, he is) instead of being her equal as her husband. Excellent point.

Thanks for reading and commening!

:thanks:

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 9:01 am
by nutmegger911
MickLifeCrisis wrote:
“Mick, darling, you can’t just go running out into the night like that. You don’t have the control yet.” Silence. “You’re lucky I found you before someone else did,” Coraline continued. “I brought you back here and had the Cleaners take care of the drunk. A drunk! Really, Mick? When I brought a fresh young thing for you that you could have had instead?”

Mick quickly brushed away a few tears.

“Oh, Mick! Don’t worry, I’ve kept her alive. You can have her at your next feeding.”

Wow. That is dark. Well done, MLC.

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2018 4:23 pm
by MickLifeCrisis
Dark, indeed. :Mickangel:

Thank you for reading and commenting, nutmegger!
:thanks:

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:00 am
by Luxe de Luxe
Luxe de Luxe wrote:Yikes! There are so many forms of ‘dark’ in this fic MLC, mainly pertaining to poor Mick’s situation rather than to his new nocturnal sleep wake cycle. The first dark that I see in this is the physical impact of the blood lust on him. It’s painful and it drives him to the second dark - the need to regularly murder his fellow man. Our Mick, the good decent man he was, hates this dark place he’s in, which takes us to the third dark alluded to in this fic - the corruption of his love for Coraline. We know, because it’s Mick, that the love he initially felt for her would have been wholehearted and generous but now it’s tainted by the vampiric need which he despises and his relegation as a newbie to an infantilised role as fledgling being taken care of by her rather than as her husband, an equal. There is a glimmer of light here, Mick’s attempt to confine his kills to wrongdoers, but that only leaves us with the fourth dark of this fic - the futility of Mick’s faint hopes. Coraline has killed Mick’s first attempt to be less monstrous by keeping the girl alive. In the end we’re left with the fifth and final dark of this little fic - Mick cannot escape what he is. He is a vampire forever.
I am a big proponent of the notion that writers don't know everything about their own work. I often had the experience, when I was writing here, that readers would see things in my work that I hadn't thought about or necessarily intended but on reflection that they were absolutely correct about.

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 2:51 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Luxe de Luxe wrote: I am a big proponent of the notion that writers don't know everything about their own work. I often had the experience, when I was writing here, that readers would see things in my work that I hadn't thought about or necessarily intended but on reflection that they were absolutely correct about.
That is so true! :reading: Thanks again. :hug:

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2018 5:20 pm
by Ella713
Wow!! I think this story gets to the heart of Mick's relationship with Coraline. He hates her for what she's done to him, but part of him is thankful that she has given him guidance and has looked out for him. Mick is such a sensitive soul, this would have been so very hard for him to come to terms with. Fantastic story!! So very dark. :clapping:

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2018 4:54 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Thank you for reading and commenting, Ella!

Dark Mick is hard for me. :Mickangel: I do much better with fluffy Mick. :laugh:

:thanks:

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2019 8:56 am
by LaughtersMelody
RL swallowed me so completely for a while that I didn't have a chance to read other entries to the "Dark" challenge, but I'm so glad to be catching up now! This was a great response to it! :flowers:

I absolutely loved your description of the struggle Mick goes through as he tries to deny the hunger. I also really liked your description of Coraline's seeming indifference to the guilt he feels. She really doesn't quite see people as people, and doesn't understand why Mick struggles so much with something as basic as survival. I wonder, too, if she's also a little bit in denial - if she feels like if doesn't acknowledge why he's really struggling, then maybe, with enough time, he'll accept his new reality. She doesn't want to accept any other possibility.

Wonderful work! :clapping:

-Laughter

Re: Into the Night (PG) - Dark Challenge #176

Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 2:51 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Thank you for finding this, Laughter!

You are so right... Coraline just doesn't "get" Mick. :no:

:thanks: