Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

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Barnabas
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Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

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(I don't own "Moonlight" or its characters - I just have fun with 'em)


Undercover Brothers


Chapter One

Mick and Josef walked into Talbot’s office, unsure of why he wanted to talk to them.
“Come on in, guys,” Talbot said with a smile. “Have a seat.”
Mick and Josef sat down in the chairs in front of Talbot’s desk.
“I suppose you’re wondering why I called you here today.”
“You were just a tad cryptic on the phone,” Josef said.
Talbot leaned back in his leather chair, lacing his hands behind his head. He put his heels on the edge of his desk. “I have a mission for you two,” he said.
Mick and Josef exchanged a confused glance.
“You have a mission for us?” Mick asked. “I take it you have a vampire issue on your hands?”
Talbot put his feet down and leaned forward in his chair. “Boy, you’re quick!” he smirked. “That’s why I think you guys are perfect for the job.”
“We’re always willing to help with problems relating to the vampire population,” Josef said. “What do you need us to do?”
“I need you to go under cover,” Talbot answered.
“What’s the problem?” Mick asked,
“There’s a group of humans in Los Angeles, exclusively male” Talbot said, “I guess you’d call them a cult. They know about vampires, and they’ve been preying on the female members of the species.”
“What do humans want with female vamps?’ Josef asked.
“You remember the incident at Club Valice?” Talbot asked. “This is similar. Evidently the human men drink the female vampire blood and it gives them some sort of incredible high.”
Mick shook his head. “But why are only female vamps targeted?”
“We’re not sure,” Talbot said, “but we suspect is has something to do with the way estrogen or some other substance that’s found in high levels only in the female body transforms when a woman is turned.”
Mick thinks about it for a moment, then turns to Talbot. “We’ll be glad to help. Who says chivalry is dead?”
“Or un-dead,” Josef adds. “What can we do?”
“I’m going to need to send you two undercover as female vampires.”
Mick and Josef looked at each other, suddenly terrified.
“Wait just a minute…” Josef began.
“Oh, no,” Mick continued as both men sprang up out of his chairs. “You’re not dressing me up like a woman!”
Josef was just as adamant. “I don’t think so!” he said. “We’d be the laughing stock of the city!”
Talbot stood up. “Guys, guys,” he pleaded, hands raised. “What happened to chivalry? And besides, I came to you because you’re the only ones who can pull this off!”
Mick and Josef were already headed for the door.
“Sorry, Talbot,” Mick said, “but you’re gonna have to find yourself a couple of different vampires for this job.”
Talbot sighed. “I thought you might react this way,” he said. “That’s why I enlisted a couple of people to help convince you.” Talbot pressed the intercom button on his desk. “Delores, would you send the girls in?”
“Yes, Mr. Talbot,” said the voice on the other end.
Just as Josef and Mick reached the door it opened inward and Beth and Simone walked in.
“Hello, boys,” Simone said, smiling. Beth was grinning her pixie grin, too. You could’ve knocked Mick and Josef over with a feather. Beth put her hand under Mick’s chin as she walked past him and closed his gaping mouth with an audible snap.
“You two are in on this?” Josef asked incredulously.
“That’s right,” Beth said.
“Someone’s got to teach you how to act like ladies,” Simone added, placing the huge makeup bag she had been carrying on Talbot’s desk. Beth was carrying a garment bag. She slung it over the back of Talbot’s chair.
Mick glared at Talbot. “This is a low blow, man,” he complained. “Dragging Beth and Simone into this is just despicable.”
Talbot shrugged. “I did what I had to do,” he said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Beth unzipped the garment bag and pulled out two outfits. One was a Purple tube top with neon pink tights. The other was a black leather mini skirt and a white blouse.
“OK, who’s first?’
Mick and Josef looked at each other, speechless and terrified.
“All right then,” Simone said, “Josef first”. Beth handed Simone the skirt and blouse.
Josef found his voice. “Why do I have to wear the skirt?” he sputtered.
“Because you have the best legs, silly,” Simone explained. Josef looked at Mick, who smiled and shrugged his shoulders.
“Don’t get all smug on me,” Josef said to Mick. “I can’t wait to see you in those pink tights!” Mick’s smile disappeared from his face.
Beth turned to Talbot. “Can we have some privacy?” Talbot had been enjoying this too much, and it took a moment for him to realize Beth had been speaking to him.
“Oh! Oh, sure,” he said. “I’ll wait outside. Buzz out when you’re finished.” Talbot left the office, closing the door behind him.



Chapter Two


Talbot’s office had a full bathroom, and Simone led Josef in that direction.
“First things first,” she said. “We need to shave your legs.”
Josef spun around and tried to get away, but Simone had a good grip on his arm and continued to pull him toward the bathroom.
“Is that really necessary?” Josef pleaded.
“Yes, it’s necessary,” Simone said. “You won’t pass for a sexy female vampire if you’ve got hairy legs.” Josef slumped his shoulders, surrendering. He followed Simone into the bathroom.
Beth caught Mick grinning as he watched his friend being led away.
“I don’t know what you’re smiling about,” she said. “You’re next.”
Mick was flabbergasted. “Wuh…why do I need to have my legs shaved? I’m wearing pants!”
”You’re wearing tights,” Beth corrected, “but maybe we can get away with only shaving you from the knees down.”
This didn’t sound like much consolation to Mick, but he kept his mouth shut. He and Beth followed Josef and Simone into the bathroom. Simone had already filled the bathtub with a few inches of warm water. Josef was rolling up his pantlegs.
“No, no, no,” Simone said. “You need to take those off.”
“Why?” Josef asked.
“Well, we’re going to be shaving pretty high up,” Simone explained. “Remember, you’re going to be in a mini skirt.”
“How could I forget?” Josef said, unbuckling his belt. Beth motioned for Mick to do the same, and with a look of resignation he did. Soon both vampires’ pants were puddled around their ankles. Mick rolled off his socks. He was amused to see that Josef wore sock suspenders, and he had started to smile until he saw Beth taking razors and shaving cream out of the makeup bag. The smile died on his face.
“Into the tub,” Simone directed, and Josef and Mick climbed in, sitting on the edge. Beth splashed water on Mick’s legs and Simone wetted Josef’s legs. They shook their cans of shaving cream, then sprayed globs of the white cream into their palms. They went to work covering their men’s legs.
“Oooo, that’s cold!” Mick complained.
Beth was annoyed. “Poor baby,” she mocked. “You can rip a person’s throat out, but you can’t stand a little cold shaving cream on your legs?”
Mick stuck his tongue out at Beth, who returned the gesture. Soon Mick and Josef’s legs were ready for shaving. Simone leaned forward, razor in hand, but Josef stopped her.
“I’ll handle this, if you don’t mind,” he said, taking the razor from her.
“Go right ahead,” Simone said, amused. She watched as Josef dragged the razor down his leg.
“Crap!” Josef winced, pulling the razor back. “That stings!” He had sliced his leg. The cut oozed a little blood, but it sealed almost as quickly as it had appeared. He continued to shave, his hand now shaking badly.
Mick had seen enough, and he gestured for Beth to handle the shaving duties on his behalf. Beth worked quickly, interrupted every few seconds by Josef’s swearing.
By the time their legs had been shaved, the water in the tub was pink and Josef had gone through three disposable razors.
“I have a new respect for what you women go through,” Josef said.
“And we’re just getting started,” Simone said, smiling.

Mick and Josef, legs smooth and dressed only in their underwear, followed Beth and Simone back into Talbot’s office. Beth took the clothes out of the garment bag hanging over Talbot’s chair. She handed Josef’s outfit to Simone and handed the purple tube top and pink tights to Mick.
“Hmmm,” Beth said, looking at Mick’s hairy midriff. “I think we’re going to need to do a bit of waxing.”
“Oh, no you don’t!” Mick was headed for the door. Then he realized he was nearly naked. He turned around slowly. “C’mon, do you have to?”
“Well,” Beth thought, “it’ll probably be dark, and if you pull the tights up high enough there won’t be much skin showing.”
Mick breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled on the pink tights.
Beth stood back and examined Mick.
“Well, that’s not going to work,” Beth said.
“What’s wrong?” Mick asked.
Simone looked over, then quickly looked away. “Nope, that’s definitely not going to work,” she said, blushing.
“Can’t you tuck that in?” Beth asked.
Mick looked down and saw the substantial bulge in the front of his tights.
“Tuck it in? Tuck it in?” He covered himself protectively with his hands.
“Maybe we can find you a girdle,” Beth said.
“I’m not wearing a girdle!”
Beth thought for a moment. “Wait a minute,” she said, reaching into the garment bag. “Maybe this will do the trick.” She handed Mick a sheer purple skirt. To him it looked like a tutu.
“Will this humiliation never end?” Mick complained, pulling on the skirt. It covered him nicely.
“Perfect!” Beth said. “Now the bra and tube top.”
Mick tried to put on the bra Beth handed him. First he had it on backwards, then he got his arms tangled in the straps. Finally Beth had to help him put it on. Then Mick put his arms through the top and pulled it down over his chest.
“You need to stuff,” Beth said. She ran into the bathroom and came back with an armload of toilet paper.
“What’s that for?” Mick asked.
“I’ll show you,” Beth answered. She began stuffing paper down the front of Mick’s tube top and into the bra. After a couple of minutes of stuffing and sculpting, Mick appeared to have developed a nice, full pair of breasts. Beth stepped back and put her hands on her hips, appraising her work. She moved forward and squeezed Mick’s right cup a few times and stepped back again.
“There,” she said, “that should do it.”
“You’re pretty good at that,” Mick said, “as if you’ve had some practice.” Beth blushed.
“Never mind that,” she said. “Let’s get a wig on you. Would you rather be blonde, or brunette?”
“Blonde’s have more fun, “Josef chimed in. “At least that’s what Jean Harlow used to tell me.”
“I am so sick of your Jean Harlow stories,” Mick said. He turned to Beth. “I’ll be a brunette, thank you very much. Let Casanova over there be the blonde.”
Beth pulled a hair net and a brown wig out of the bag. She smoothed Mick’s hair down with the net, then pinned on the wig. With a few brush strokes, she declared Mick ready to go.
“Your turn,” Simone said to Josef. Soon Josef was dressed in the black leather skirt, white blouse and blonde wig. Josef looked at Mick, then checked his own reflection in the mirror and frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Simone asked.
“Mick’s boobs are bigger than mine,” he pouted.
“That’s because Mick’s frame is bigger than yours,” Simone explained. “If I made your boobs any bigger, you’d look like a Barbie doll.”
Josef considered that for a moment, looked at himself in the mirror, and looked at Mick.
“Well, you know what they say,” Josef said. “More than a mouthful is wasted.”
Simone slapped Josef on the shoulder.
“Are we ready yet?” Mick asked.
“I think so,” Beth answered. She started to walk over to Talbot’s desk to buzz him back in, then stopped.
“Wait a minute, we forgot the heels,” Beth said.


Chapter Three


“That’s right,” Simone said, pulling two pair of heels from the garment bag. “And we can’t send these boys…er…girls out without some makeup.”
Mick and Josef exchanged a horrified glance.
“I had to go to three shoe stores to find heels that would fit you guys,” Simone said, handing a pair of strappy gold three-inch heels to Josef. Josef took them, then stared at the shoes as if they were some sort of alien life form no one had ever seen before. Simone handed Mick a pair of black stilettos.
“Couldn’t we have worn something a little…less heely?” Mick asked. “I’m already six two. With these I’ll have to duck when I walk through a doorframe.”
“Evidently these guys were after have a thing for women in high heels,” Beth explained. “We need you two to fit the bill.”
Josef strapped on his heels and stood up. His ankles wobbled, and he fell back into his chair.
“How do you girls walk in these things?” he asked. “I mean, who would voluntarily cram their toes into a little pointy shoe and then walk around on their tippy-toes?”
“Beauty is pain,” Simone said, shrugging.
Mick slipped his heels on and stood up tentatively. He wobbled, but not quite as much as Josef had.
“You’re a natural,” Beth said. “Now try walking across the room.”
Mick took a couple of slow, small steps, then proceeded across the room at an almost normal pace. He reached the wall and turned around, pleased with himself and smiling. The smile died on his face when he saw that Josef, Beth and Simone were fighting back laughter.
“Dude, you walk like you have a stick up your butt,” Josef observed. The girls giggled. Mick scowled.
“Oh, he always walks like that,” Beth said, to new peals of laughter from Josef and Simone.
“I do not walk like I have a stick up my butt!” Mick argued as he started back across the room. He made a conscious effort to swing his hips as he went, which of course only made him look sillier. Josef, Beth and Simone held their hands over their mouths, snickering.
“All right, smart guy,” Mick said as he reached the other side of the room and sat down. “Let’s see how you do.”
Josef’s smile evaporated, replaced by a look of extreme concentration. He pranced across the room, struggling to keep his ankles from buckling. He swung his arms back and forth, hands parallel to the ground, sashaying. Mick, Beth and Simone were able to hold their laughter until Josef reached the wall and turned around. Then all three couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Josef looked hurt.
“What? I thought I did good.”
“You looked like a drag queen waltzing across the street to meet a john,” Mick snickered.
“At least I’m not a drag queen with a stick up his butt,” Josef said. Mick started to get up out of his chair, wobbled precariously, then fell back into it.
“Boys, boys,” Beth interrupted. “Let’s not worry about walking for now. Maybe they can position you someplace where you can sit most of the time. But we do need to get you into makeup.”
“Does the humiliation never end?” Josef asked.
“Don’t forget, your doing this for a good cause,” Simone reminded him.
“You make it sound like were cross-dressing for the Make-A-Wish Foundation or something,” Mick said.
“You know what she means,” Beth said. “Now get over here so I can make you pretty.”
“Good luck with that,” Josef said. Mick gave him an evil stare.
“And you come with me,” Simone said to Josef.

Beth took Mick to one side of the room and Simone took Josef to the other. Half an hour later, they were finished. Mick looked Josef up and down, and nodded.
“I don’t think I like the way you’re looking at me,” Josef said.
“No, no, it’s just that Simone did a great job,” Mick said. “You look…well…”
“You look ravishing,” Beth said, smiling.
“Now there’s something I never thought I’d hear someone tell me,” Josef said. He looked at Mick. “You look pretty good yourself,” he said.
“Why, thank you,” Mick said, offering Josef an awkward courtesy. Simone frowned.
“Let’s try to avoid doing that from now on,” she said.
“What? What did I do?”
“Never mind,” Beth said. “I think it’s time to get Talbot back in here.” She used the intercom on Talbot’s desk to ask his secretary to send him back in.
Talbot took a couple of steps into the office, saw Mick and Josef, and stopped dead in his tracks. His mouth hung open. Simone closed the door for him.
“So, what do you think?” Beth asked. Talbot cleared his head with a shake.
“It’s amazing,” he said. “I hope this doesn’t come out the wrong way, but you guys are gorgeous!” Mick and Josef might have been blushing, but it was impossible to tell with all the makeup. Talbot walked up to Josef. He bent down and examined Josef’s legs.
“Did you shave your legs?”
Josef grimaced.
“Don’t remind me,” he said.
“Wow, you guys are really taking one for the team,” Talbot said. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”
“Just remember,” Mick said, “that you owe us big time for this.”
“Maybe I’ll take you ladies out for a nice dinner when this is over,” Talbot offered with a grin.
“Very funny,” Josef said. “I don’t know about Mick, but I’m not staying in this get-up any longer than I have to.”
“What do you mean by that?” Mick asked. “I’m not enjoying this any more than you are.”
“Are you sure?,” Josef said. “I saw you feeling yourself up a minute ago.”
“I was adjusting myself!” Mick yelled. “One of my boobs was higher than the other one!”
“Whatever you say,” Josef said. Mick looked like he was about to pounce on Josef when Talbot interrupted.
“Boys, boys, don’t forget we have a job to do here.” Mick backed off.
“I’m sorry, Josef,” Mick said. “It must be my time of the month.” Josef laughed.
“Good one, Mick!” Josef grinned, but the smile died on his face when he looked at Beth and Simone. They weren’t laughing. He cleared his throat.
“So what’s the plan?” Josef said, glad to change the subject.
“There’s a club on the west side that this vampire blood-drinking cult frequents,” Talbot said. “We’ll go there and use you guys as bait to try and catch one of these creeps. Then hopefully that’ll lead us to the leaders.” Talbot, Mick and Josef heard whispering, and noticed that Beth and Simone were shaking hands and smiling.
“What was that all about?” Mick asked.
Beth and Simone put on their best innocent faces.
“Oh, nothing,” Beth said, “just congratulating ourselves on turning a couple of manly vampires into a pair of lovely ladies.” Simone stifled a giggle.
“So what do we do when we get to the club?” Josef asked. “Just stand around and look sexy?”
That’s it, basically,” Talbot said, “but we should get going, We can go over the details on the way.”
The group headed for the door. Talbot stopped short.
“Ladies first,” he said, motioning to Josef and Mick, who sneered and left the office, followed by Beth and Simone. Talbot followed, smiling and shaking his head as he closed the door behind him.



Chapter Four


Mick, Josef and Talbot discussed some of the particulars in the limousine on the way to the club.
“How do we let you know we’ve found one of the cult members?” Josef asked.
“Glad you asked,” said Talbot, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulled out a ladies’ watch and a thin, gold chain with a locket dangling from it. He handed the necklace to Mick and the watch to Josef. “Put these on. They have tiny transmitters in them, so we’ll be able to hear what’s going on.”
Josef put the watch on, and Mick fumbled with the necklace. He couldn’t work the fastener. After watching him struggle for a minute ot two, Talbot offered to help. He took the ends of the necklace and put his hands around behind Mick’s neck. Their faces were no more than a few inches apart.
“I should plant one on you for getting us into this mess,” Mick threatened with a smile.
“You do that and it’ll be the last thing you do,” said Talbot, fastening the necklace and sitting back in his seat. “You’ll need a duress code, too,” he said.
“You’re sending us to a club and you don’t know if they have a dress code?” Josef asked.
“Not a dress code,” Talbot explained, “a duress code. It’s a phrase you say that lets us know you’re ready for us to move in.”
Mick thought for a moment. “How about ‘the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain?’”
Talbot shook his head. “It has to be something you can work into everyday conversation, so the suspect doesn’t get suspicious.”
“How about ‘Is it me, or is it hot in here?’” Beth offered.
“That’s perfect!” Talbot said. “You guys got that?”
“Is it me, or is it hot in here?” Josef said.
“It’s certainly not you,” Mick quipped.
“Good one, Mick,” Josef said. The car began to slow down.
“Looks like we’re here,” said Talbot. The limo stopped, and Talbot stepped out, followed by Beth and Simone. Mick slid out next, and the four of them watched as Josef got out of the limo in a very un-ladylike manner. His leather miniskirt hiked up and reminded them all that they had forgotten to include underwear in his costume.
Mick covered his eyes. “Dude!” he said. “Put that thing away!”
Talbot shook his head. “Brittney and Paris can’t compete with that.” Simone and Beth giggled.
“Good thing there aren’t any paparazzi around,” Beth said.
Josef put his legs together and held out his hand. Talbot took it and helped him the rest of the way out.
“I hope you enjoyed the show,” Josef said.
“I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it,” Mick said. Beth and Simone looked at each other and shrugged.
“Good luck, ladies, you’re on your own from here on out.” Talbot, Beth and Simone climbed back into the limo, leaving Mick and Josef alone on the sidewalk. “Remember, we’re right outside, and we’ll be listening.”
Mick looked at Josef. “You ready, brother?”
“You mean, sister?” Josef said, smiling and offering his arm. Mick took it, and they walked as daintily as they could into the club.

The club was dark and smoky, and music pulsed through the sound system. The massive dance floor was packed with undulating bodies, so Mick and Josef headed to the bar. They found a couple of stools open next to each other and sat down.
“What’ll it be, ladies?” the bartender asked.
“I’ll have a…” Mick started in his regular voice. He cleared his throat and continued in falsetto. “I’ll have a Fuzzy Navel, please.”
The bartender gave him a funny look, then turned to Josef. “And for you?”
“The same for me, sweetheart,” Josef said.
The bartender turned to make the drinks, and Mick whispered to Josef out of the side of his mouth. “Sweetheart?”
“A little over-the-top?”
“Just a little.”
“Sorry.”
The bartender brought their drinks.
“Do you have any of those paper umbrellas?” Josef asked.
The bartender narrowed is eyes and frowned, then reached under the counter and brought out a tiny umbrella. He opened it and plopped it into Josef’s Fuzzy Navel. “Anything else?”
“No, thanks, sugar” Josef said. The bartender left to wait on other customers.
Mick looked at Josef. “Sugar?”
“I couldn’t help it,” Josef said. “It just came out!”
Mick was about to give Josef more grief when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a handsome man in his late twenties standing there. He was tall , easily six foot six, and muscular, with short brown hair and a smile full of perfect white teeth.
“Hello, ladies,” he said. His voice was deep. “My friends and I saw you come in and wondered whether you’d like to join us.” The man motioned toward a booth where three other young men sat, watching.
Mick and Josef exchanged a glance, then Mick spoke.
“We’d be glad to.” He extended his hand. “My name’s…” they hadn’t thought of names. “…my name’s…Mikayla, and this is…”
“I’m Josefina,” Josef improvised. The young man shook Mick’s hand, then Josef.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Roger. I’ll introduce you to my friends in a moment. There’s something I must ask you first, though.”
“Anything,” Josef said, batting his eyelashes.
“We’re looking for a very special kind of lady,” Roger said. He leaned in close. “Are you ladies…special?”
Mick looked Roger in the eye. Mick’s eyes glowed briefly and his teeth lengthened into fangs. “Is that special enough for you?”
Roger seemed afraid, but also excited. He smiled. “You are exactly what we’re looking for, ladies. Will you come with me?”
Roger led Mick and Josef over to the booth.


Chapter Five

“Guys, this is Mikayla and Josefina,” Roger said. “Ladies, this is Bob, Richard and Mark.” Mick and Josef waved demurely at each of the young men as they were introduced. They leered back and smiled, obviously anticipating the festivities to come. Mick and Josef scooted into the booth next to Bob, and Roger followed them.
Mick spoke first. “So you boys are into inter-species relationships?”
“Oh, yeah,” Bob answered. “You know what they say. ‘Once you’ve been bit it’s hard to quit’.”
“I was not aware that they said that,” Josef said. “Sounds logical, though.”
“You ladies up for a little fun, then?” Richard asked, moving his eyebrows up and down.
“Let’s get to know each other a little better, first,” Mick said. Richard looked disappointed.
“Mikayla’s got a point,” Roger said. “Let’s order drinks first. What will it be for the ladies? You do drink, right?”
“Whiskey on the rocks will work for me,” Josef said.
“I’ll have the same,” added Mick.
“Excellent. A couple of whiskeys on the rocks, some light conversation and then perhaps some extracurricular activities.” Roger called a waitress over and ordered the drinks, plus a round of beers for the guys.
Mick surveyed the bar. It looked to be about a fifty-fifty split of human and vampire patrons. At one table he saw a man and a woman. The woman’s back was to Mick, but he thought her silhouette was familiar. She turned around and looked behind her, and Mick’s suspicions were confirmed. It was Coraline. Coraline made eye contact with Mick, who scrunched down and wished he could hide under the table. Coraline suddenly realized it was Mick she was looking at, and her eyes widened in disbelief. And just when Mick thought her eyes couldn’t get any wider, she recognized Josef. She opened her mouth as if to speak, and Mick shook his head as subtly as he could. He held a finger up to his lips.
The waitress returned with the drinks, and the young men gulped theirs down. Mick and Josef sipped at theirs.
“Are you ladies just about ready to take this party to the next level?” It was Bob speaking, the young man sitting next to Mick.
“We’re not quite finished with our drinks,” Josef protested.
“We’ll buy you another round afterward,” Roger said. “We have a room waiting in the back.”
Roger stood up and motioned for Mick and Josef to join him. Mick and Josef slid out of the booth, and the three young men followed them eagerly. The group headed for the back of the bar, and as they walked past Coraline she gave Mick a questioning look. Mick just shook his head again. He thought Coraline might have been smirking, but he didn’t get a good enough look.
Roger led the group to an unmarked door at the rear of the bar. He opened the door, and motioned everyone inside. Mick had to fight the urge to punch Bob when he guided Mick through the door with his hand in the small of Mick’s back.
The room was dimly lit. It featured several plush couches and a king-sized bed. Mick and Josef exchanged a curious glance. If you looked up “den of iniquity” in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of this room next to the definition.
“Josefina, Mikayla, make yourselves comfortable,” Roger said, motioning toward one of the couches. Mick and Josef sat down on the couch, with Bob on one side, Richard on the other and Mark in the middle. Roger went to a closet and brought out a video camera and a tripod. He set the camera up in front of the couch.
“What’s that for?” Josef asked.
“If you ladies don’t mind, we’d like a little memento of our get-together,” Roger said.
“How do we know we won’t end up online somewhere?” Josef asked. Mick looked at Josef. Was he actually blushing? It was hard to tell with all the makeup he was wearing.
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Roger said. “This is strictly for personal use.”
Bob slid closer to Mick, and Richard scooted closer to Josef. Mark was getting squeezed in the middle, but he didn’t seem to mind. Roger’s video camera had a halogen light on it, and he turned it on. Mick and Josef squinted against the sudden bright light. That’s when Mick felt Bob’s hand land high up on his thigh, and Richard began to nuzzle Josef’s neck.


Chapter Six

Mick felt Bob’s hand move higher up on his thigh, and he tried to push it back down.
“What are you, some kind of tease?” Bob said. He shoved his hand up into Mick’s crotch.
“Come on, baby,” Richard said to Josef, “open up to me.” Josef squirmed, trying to get away from Richard. Suddenly there was a hand on Josef’s butt. Josef looked to his left, and Mark smiled and raised and lowered his eyebrows while kneading Josef’s buttock.
When Bob felt the bulge that he wasn’t expecting to find between Mikayla’s legs, he pulled his hand back quickly.
“What the hell?” Bob said.
At the same moment, Richard slipped his hand through Josef’s blouse and into his bra. Richard felt around for a moment, then realized that the cup was empty. Richard pulled his hand out, a disgusted look on his face.
“This isn’t a woman, it’s a man!” Bob shouted. He reached into the back of his pants and pulled out a stake.
“This one ain’t a woman, either!” Richard yelled, pulling a stake out of his pant leg.
Mick and Josef looked at each other, then Mick turned toward Bob and Josef toward Richard. Mick hauled back and swung his fist into Richard’s jaw. Richard was sent flying off the couch and ended up sprawled out on the floor. Josef stood up, grabbed Bob by the front of his shirt and threw him across the room. Bob slammed into the wall and collapsed in a heap on the floor.
“The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!” Mick yelled into the microphone in his necklace. “The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!”
Mark, who had been sitting in between Mick and Josef, leapt up and scurried over to Roger, who was still behind the video camera. Josef shot Mick a disgusted look.
“No, you doofus,” Josef said. He held his watch up to his lips. “It’s ‘is it hot in here, or is it just me?’”
Mick glanced at Josef, which gave Mark just enough time to dash out from behind the camera and its bright light, stake in hand, and plunge the stake into Mick’s chest. Mick fell to the floor with Mark on top of him.
The door to the back room burst open. Coraline was little more than a blur as she flew in, swept Mark into one arm and dragged him into the closet on the other side of the room.
Roger ran out from behind the camera and headed for Mick’s paralyzed body. Josef intercepted him, driving his shoulder into Roger’s gut and sending him flying across the room. Roger hit the wall and fell to the ground next to Bob.
An arm snaked around Josef’s neck, and Josef instinctively grabbed the arm and flung his attacker over his head. It was Richard. His body crashed into the wall on the other side of the room, and he joined his unconscious friends in a pile on the floor.
Talbot and a couple of uniformed police officers burst into the room with guns drawn.
“Freeze!” Talbot yelled, looking around the room to assess the situation. He saw the pile of young men and Josef kneeling on the floor next to Mick’s skewered body. The cops went over to Roger, Bob and Richard and began to roust them and put handcuffs on them. Talbot holstered his gun and knelt next to Josef.
“Is he going to be all right?”
Josef reached down and grabbed the stake. He yanked it out, and Mick exhaled, his relief visible on his face.
“He’ll be fine,” Josef said, dropping the stake and helping Mick sit up.
“Dude.” It was Talbot speaking. At first Josef didn’t answer.
“Dude!”
Josef frowned and looked at Talbot. “What?”
Talbot gestured toward Josef’s leather miniskirt, which had hiked up when he knelt next to Mick. Josef was giving Talbot and anyone else who cared to look a free show.
“That’s just wrong,” Talbot said, looking away.
“I always thought you were a bit of an exhibitionist,” Mick grinned, standing up.
“I save your life, and this is the thanks I get?” Josef stood up and pulled the skirt down.
The cops led the Bob, Richard and Roger out of the room. Talbot counted on his fingers as they walked past.
“Weren’t there four guys?” Talbot asked.
The closet door opened, and Coraline came out, adjusting her hair.
“Nope, just the three,” she said. She had a drop of blood on the corner of her mouth. Mick dabbed at the corner of his own mouth to point it out to her, and Coraline’s tongue snaked out and licked it away. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
Talbot looked at Coraline, then at Mick, then at Josef, then back to Coraline. He shook his head.
“I guess this means we’ll need to get a cleanser in here before I call in my crime scene investigators?”
Josef clapped Talbot on the back. “It’s called a “cleaner”, Talbot, but you’re learning fast, my friend.”

Mick, Josef and Talbot walked out of the club, and Beth and Simone were waiting for them. Beth rushed forward and threw her arms around Mick.
“Are you all right?” Beth covered Mick’s face with kisses. A teenage boy happened to be walking by at the time.
“Oh, yeah,” he said, smiling.
Beth suddenly realized what this must look like and blushed.
“Beat it, kid!” Mick yelled in his deepest, manliest voice. The kid’s eyes grew wide, and he took off running down the sidewalk.
“I’m fine, Beth. But I owe a lot to Josef and Coraline. They really saved the day.”
“Coraline was there?” Simone asked. “Where is she?”
Everyone looked around. There was no sign of Coraline.
“She didn’t come out with you,” Beth said. “Anyway, I’m glad everything worked out.”
“I just want to get out of these clothes,” Josef said.
“Me, too,” Mick agreed, adjusting his tube top. The group climbed into the limo and headed back to Talbot’s office.

Josef and Mick used the bathroom to change back into their street clothes, and then joined Simone, Beth and Talbot in the office. Talbot and the ladies were gathered around a computer monitor with Talbot. Whatever they were watching must have been pretty funny, because they were all smiling and doing their best not to laugh.
“Play it again! Play it again!” Simone said. Talbot did some fast clicking on his mouse.
Mick and Josef came around behind the group. Their faces fell when they saw themselves on the screen. It was a scene from the back room at the club. They had evidently just sat down on the couch, and Josef crossed his legs, for the briefest moment revealing what lay between his legs. Talbot had the video set to run in a loop with Josef’s legs opening and closing, opening and closing, opening and closing.
“The twig and berries are getting some serious face time today,” Josef mused. The entire group cracked up at that, bursting into gales of laughter.
“I’m starting to worry about you, man,” Mick said to Talbot. “I think you’re enjoying this too much.”
Talbot looked shocked.
“This is strictly evidence, Mick. Right ladies?”
“Evidence of something, all right,” Beth said, and the group cracked up again.
“Just as long as we don’t end up on the Internet,” Josef said. “I do have something of a reputation to uphold.” There was a moment of silence, and then Josef, Mick, Talbot, Beth and Simone cracked up again. They laughed until tears streamed down their faces.

THE END
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francis
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by francis »

Thank you, Barnabas, for posting this here. It's hilarious, and I had a good laugh out of it.
mitzie
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by mitzie »

I love it!!!! That was an absolute riot!!!!!! :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: :rofl2: :woohoo: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :cheer: :evillaugh: :devil: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :coffee: :biggrin: :yahoo: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :thud: :thud: :notworthy: :thanks: I needed that!!!! :coffee:

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fairytoes
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by fairytoes »

:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

Brilliant! I just love it!!!!!!!
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Barnabas
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by Barnabas »

Thanks for your kind words! Glad you enjoyed it!
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jen
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by jen »

That was funny!!!!!

Very well done!!! :hearts: :flowers:
Mick and Beth--two of the lovely faces of Moonlight
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Barnabas
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Re: Undercover Brothers (Chapters 1-6 complete) (PG-13)

Post by Barnabas »

Thanks, jen!


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