Creatures of the Night - Challenge# 106 (PG-13) W/Allegrita

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Creatures of the Night - Challenge# 106 (PG-13) W/Allegrita

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Warning! Dark fic, with violence. Rating PG-13

Challenge 106…The readers and writers challenge.
Allegrita is my reader and my beta. I’m grateful that she took the time to hunt down my errors.

Disclosure: Standard stuff, I don’t own it and no infringement is intended. No blood was lost and no subjects were harmed in the creation of this document. You may recognize some of the characters. Mick makes a brief appearance.

Creatures of the Night


Ivory fangs sink into the soft tissue. An unrelenting sucking sound fills a tiny corner of the night. The warm blood coursing into my body comforts me…if only for a short time. I hear the heartbeat weaken, stutter, and then stop. My victim drained, I leave only desiccated flesh.

The stars are out tonight, diamonds twinkling in the velvet darkness. I love the night. Sounds carry. People ahead of me are walking with crinkling shopping bags, and I hear the muffled scuff of shoes on the sidewalk. I stay out of the moonlight that shines brightly on the pavement and the grass. Shadows create a transitory hiding place, gone with the dawn, but infinitely useful now. The cool air feels good against my face as I watch for another opportunity.

There! A movement to my left. All of my senses are instantly aroused. The air has shifted and the breeze carries the scent. Cloyingly sweet. My head snaps up and I sniff the air. Estrogen… female. A low growl rumbles in the back of my throat. I can almost taste her. The hunt begins again. If she’s headed home then perhaps that means more than one. A feast. And I’m hungry tonight. My eyes silver in anticipation.

I’m running soundlessly behind her, up over the concrete curbing and toward the trees. She has sensed danger and knows she’s being chased. I feel the fear, the terror. This is part of the fun. Two, three, four strides and I’ve overtaken her, one quick jump and ….she is mine. I cover her body, pinning her to the ground with my chest. I’m bigger than she and heavier. She thrashes but all hope is lost. There isn’t much noise, a stifled scream as I crush the larynx and a gentle gurgling sound as the blood leaves her body and enters mine. She was no match for my speed and agility. The corpse is tossed aside, now useless.

The night has gone deathly quiet. Even the crickets have stopped chirping, as if they know a hunter is on the prowl and it’s best to remain still. My feet move softly through the dew-covered grass. The only movement my victims can detect is the drift of air as I move to intercept them. Nothing eludes me. I’m silent, deadly…my skills sharpened by my vampire blood. No prey can escape me once I decide they’re mine.

Satiated at last. It’s time. Time to end the hunt and head for the loft. There will be another pursuit tomorrow night.

I’m at peace at home, content to enjoy the rest of the evening and savor the night air on the terrace. The best view is from the ledge, next to the gargoyle. We are two cold, stone statues sitting side by side, lurking at the edge of eternity.

A pale yellow streak of dawn appears on the horizon. Stifling a yawn, I watch the night die. Another yawn. Bedtime. I step inside the apartment and head upstairs, my passage betrayed only by the soft pad of my feet. A quick wash up. My face requires attention, so I carefully clean my cheeks, ears and nose. Oh, good - the freezer is still open a crack. That’s all I need. Muscles tense and I jump up, landing on the edge, and then lightly step down onto Mick’s chest. He closes the lid and smiles a crooked, sleepy grin. His hands are gentle as they scratch behind my ears. I stretch to ease the aching tendons, wiggle to find just the right spot and then curl up on his chest, my paws tucked under my body.

“Hey Travis, out late tonight, buddy?”

I lash my tail once or twice in answer.

Mick chuckles. “I almost fell asleep without you. You would have been sleeping on top if you had come in any later.”

My answer is the deep rumble coming from my chest.

Our eyes close. The hunters are relaxing now, ready for a few hours of well-earned rest.
Last edited by bluedahlia3 on Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by darkstarrising »

Blue and alle,

Wonderful :hearts: ....you had me until 'My face requires attention', but up til then, I was sure it was a human vamp. Nice twist bringing Travis into the freezer...
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by nutmegger911 »

Blue and Alle

Well done! The tension built throughout. And there is that noir sense throughout that I so love about your work. Kept Travis a secret till the end. Again, well done.
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by NocturneInCMoll »

Haha, that was priceless. My thoughts went Mick?!...then...Beth?!?!...then...huh?!...then...oh, it's the cat! Reminds me of my Westley--he spoons with me at night too. Luckily, my apartment doesn't have any real mice to catch.

Great job, you guys! You had me going. :salute:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by AggieVamp »

What an interesting thought! Though it makes me wonder what kind of control a vampire kitty would have... :snicker: And know when to NOT attack.

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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by Luxe de Luxe »

Hah ha!!!! Absolutely wonderful, ladies. *Luxe waves a finger* you had me going, you really had me going. Was it MIck? Then, Oh NO, Beth's been turned... then vampire Travis!

This was such a sensory laden fic, the descriptions were wonderful, it was a really strong point of this fic.

Would love to know a little more about the creative process between the two of you.

ps. Who turned Travis?
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by cassysj »

This was really cool!!!! You had me until the end. I'm with Luxe though who turned Travis? Did Mick just get used to him and wanted to keep him around after he turned back??? Or was Josef so repulsed about a vampire having a pet he did it? :snicker:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by librarian_7 »

Oh, good one! Somehow, Blue, I'm not surprised at it being Travis--I know you have an affinity for that cat.

And I'd love to hear more about your process working with Allegrita.

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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by bluedahlia3 »

dsr - I'm glad you liked the twist and I thought...well if I can't be tucked into the freezer, someone should be.

nm - I do love the Noir, thanks for noticing the atmosphere.

NocturneInCMoll - I'm so glad I was able to keep you guessing.

AggieVamp - Hopefully Travis only hunts the four legged creatures, otherwise we may have an issue.

Luxe de Luxe - I'm glad you liked my descriptions. It was a fun process working with Alle, she's a doll.

cassysj - Who turned Travis? Actually I think that may be the topic of another fic.

Librarian_7 - Hey lucky, I guess we can't say Travis is underwritten now, can we?

Thank you all for reading and commenting, Alle and I appreciate it. As for the process, Alle suggested the topic and I wrote two. She apparently is a cat lover and enjoyed my other Travis fic. This one is short and to the point, the other story is more of a PI adventure. This was her favorite.

So, I wrote based on her suggestion and she edited the rough draft, making a series of good suggestions to strengthen the concept. All I can say is :mooncat:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by wpgrace »

I totally LOVED this! I too have a thing for Travis... and I must say, I guessed it was him about halfway thru... or I should say I suspected, cause you can't really know until the end. But I LOVE Travis as a vamp and I LOVE the idea that he takes up with Mick and sleeps with Mick in the freezer... and I bet Mick likes that too...

This is a keeper, blue... totally a keeper. Noir and vampy and catty, all at the same time. And the cat's eye view of the loft and the balcony and the gargoyle... purrfect! :mooncat:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by coco »

Well done ladies. :clapping:

You totally got me. I had no idea right until the very end that it was Travis. You built the tension throughout.

Great stuff. :thumbs:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Thanks you two!

grace - I have to admit, I've been thinking about the gargoyle. I wondered why I hadn't seen it mentioned and I felt it needed to get into a fic somewhere. So when Alle asked me to do a Travis piece I thought *Now! here comes that statue!* :coffee:

coco - Thanks for mentioning the tension...cats do love to chase things don't they. :mooncat:

And it's a gosh good thing that phee added mooncat...not that i'm over using it or anything. :mooncat:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by wollstonecraft61 »

:clapping: Excellent job, my friend. I was totally caught off guard at the end when I found out it was Travis. I love your writing style. :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by allegrita »

Isn't she awesome?! :rose: :mooncat:

Here's my view of the process. The first thing I did when we were put together was read all of Blue's fic that I hadn't already read, to get a feel for her style and an idea of the kinds of things she writes about. Her slash-parody story about the first time Mick meets Travis (as a human) caught my eye immediately, partly for the humor, partly because I love cats and love Travis--but also because of the wonderful, evocative descriptions. That's the thing about her writing that popped out immediately for me. She has an amazing ability to put you right into a place. You can not only see it--you can hear it, smell it, feel it. So I knew I wanted a Travis story.

I gave her a very general request--I wanted a story about Mick and Travis after Mick has become a vampire again. I didn't care whose POV it was from, I didn't care if it was happy or sad, light or dark. I just asked her not to kill Mick or Travis. (I'm happy to say that she said she had no intention of doing so!)

When I read the story, I absolutely loved it. It was a cat's eye view. The fierceness, the chasing, the sense of being at one with the night, the sitting up high and observing everything... all of it was so catlike. And then for Travis to be a vampire--delicious. It just tickled me. Such an original idea!

Regarding how I beta'd the story--I'm an editor, so I have a tendency to copy-edit a lot in addition to offering comments. Bless Blue for being tolerant of me and my blue pencil. We went back and forth a few times, discussing everything from the organization of the story to individual words. It was really fun collaborating, and I learned a lot.

The other story is wonderful too, and I know you'll all like it as well. But Travis-vamp just stole my heart.

If you write a story about how Travis got turned, dear Blue, I'll be thrilled!!! :heart:
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Re: Creatures of the Night - Challenge #106 PG-13 Dark Fic

Post by francis »

I should have known with you, bluedahlia, that it could be a Travis twist, but I didn't and was taken for a ride till the very end. It has that very noir, dangerous, horror story feel to it, but then changes into something completely different, and it's great and brilliant. Allegrita and Bluedahlia, thank you so much for this story.
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