1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

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librarian_7
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1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by librarian_7 »

Disclaimer: I don’t own Logan. Or really, anything else you might recognize.

Just a little something I've been working on for awhile...


1-800-HOT-VAMP

Ring ring. “Good evening. This is Sapphira, and I want to drink your blood.”

Ring, ring. “Good evening. This is Desirée, and I want to bite your neck.”

Ring, ring. “Good evening. This is Natalia, and I want to get my fangs in you.”

Ring, ring. “Good evening. This is Carlotta, and I want to, uh, to bite you on the neck.” Damn. Carly was sure she’d messed up the accent, again, as well as the script. Truth was, she just sucked—no pun intended—at this job. And everyone had told her she had a great voice for phone sex. Her friend Penny had urged her to go for the ad, and told her over and over what a good deal it would be. Flexible hours, no need to dress up for the office, and the money, well, the money was a godsend. She hadn’t given a thought to whether or not she could do the job. I mean, how hard could it be to pretend to have sex over the phone with strangers? And the pretending to be a vampire part, well, she’d watched a lot of old movies, so that should have been easy. Reading the script was one thing, selling it was another.

All around her, the phones were ringing, and the others were going through the same scripts. The man on the line cleared his throat, and Carly realized he was nervous, too.

“You, uh, you sound like a very sexy vampire lady,” he said awkwardly.

Carly flipped in her notebook to the tabbed page for “Nervous First Timer.” “Is this,” she asked, trying to make her tones low and throaty, “your first time in the arms of the vampire?”

He laughed, self-consciously. “It’s my first time to call,” he said.

“Ah,” she replied, “do not fear.” She glanced down at the script. It said, pause, make sound of wetting lips provocatively. She tried, unsure of how well she had succeeded. “When I bite, you will feel only the ecstasy of my fangs.” Could this be any more hokey? she thought, but her caller seemed to like it. They went on from there, Carly working her way through the script, and her victim enjoying every moment.

When they’d reached the inevitable conclusion (and Carly was trying not to picture what was happening on the other end of the line, thank you very much), the caller sighed happily. “Thank you, Carlotta,” he said. “Can I ask for you, specially, next time?”

“Of course, my darling,” she replied, reading the approved script for requests. “The Vampire’s Lair is open every night. Stop by for a bite…anytime.”

“Thanks,” he said again. “You sound like a real vampire. A real one.”

The rest of the shift was uneventful, and the few calls that came Carly’s way seemed fairly routine. Maybe the job was getting easier. She was gathering up her sweater and purse to go home, when she saw the boss heading her direction.

Jennifer—and Carly thought she’d never met a less “Jennifer-ish” person in her life—was a hatchet-faced, dyed blonde in her mid-thirties who habitually wore a sharp business suit and an annoyed frown. She was in good form tonight, with the suit and the expression.

“A word with you,” Jennifer said.

“Sure.” Carly was pretty certain she didn’t want to hear whatever Jennifer had to say, but her options were limited. It was hardly as though she could claim an urgent appointment at 4 a.m.

“Carly, I’m willing to give you a little more time, because I think you have the capacity to do this, but I’d better see more calls, and more requests for you, soon. Look at Dee Dee. Look at Julie. They both have a clientele. They get repeat business.”

Carly fidgeted with her purse strap. “I’ve only been here for a couple of weeks, Jennifer.”

“Yes, and so far you have no repeats. None.”

“I’m getting better. Really.”

Jennifer shook her head. “You’re going to need a lot of work, Carly. I don’t know if it’s worth it. I just don’t know.” She fished one elegant hand into her pocket, dug out a piece of nicotine gum and unwrapped it to pop it into her mouth, with a little grimace. “Marginally better than standing outside to smoke,” she muttered, then continued, “You know, Carly, I totally get that this is a crappy job. No one wants to make a career out of talking dirty to smarmy, mouth-breathing vampire fetishists whose greatest accomplishment is acquiring the pre-paid credit card they use to pay us with. You girls are all temporary. You know that, I know that, the owner knows that. But what you have to remember is that we serve two objectives here. For one thing, we provide a nice, clean, safe outlet for guys who can’t have much social life, and secondly, and this is much more important, they pay us good money for it. So…are you ready to climb on board, and help us with that?”

Carly was tempted to say “No,” but she didn’t think she had that choice. Not until something better turned up. So several minutes of earnest promises to do better later, and she was walking out the door of the call center, hoping the aged battery in her car would turn over at least one more time and get her on her way home. She never noticed the figure standing back in the shadows, his nostrils flaring as he took in her scent.

Another human. Logan was disappointed. He’d been sure that the woman he’d talked to earlier was a vampire, and he’d hoped to find her here. But so far, all he’d scented were human females leaving the building. And he had no way of matching a scent now to a voice he’d heard earlier. He waited another half hour, but the shift change was over, and there were no more women leaving the building. Maybe he’d come back another night.

It wasn’t like his social schedule was all that full. He’d been happy for years, down in his basement, surrounded by his belongings and his beloved computers, but lately he’d been getting lonely. He’d asked his acquaintance, Guillermo, for some advice, and G had told him, don’t play around with humans—find a nice vampire girl. It would be simpler. But vampire women—particularly unattached ones—were not easy to find, even in Los Angeles. After a couple of blind dates Guillermo had set up, Logan was ready to throw in the towel and retreat to his basement for another decade or so. Then he’d seen the ad for 1-800-HOT-VAMP, and got to wondering if maybe, just maybe, they might be for real.

After several calls, all to obvious humans, he finally got interested in Carlotta. She sounded a little hesitant, like a newbie who hadn’t really learned to bite well yet.

Three nights later, as a group of women exited the building, a tall brunette called out to one of the others, “Hey, Carly, we’re going for something to eat. Want to come with?”

Another girl answered, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.” It was that easy. Logan knew who Carlotta was. He’d be able to identify her scent anytime.

He wasn’t exactly sure how he’d approach her, or what he’d suggest, but he supposed he’d figure something out.

MLMLML

By their third date, Carly was starting to feel pretty comfortable with the geeky young man she’d met at the all night diner she frequented after her shift. Logan had seemed so hesitant about striking up a conversation, but once they got talking, he was easy to like. And after a few nights of that, when he asked her out to a movie at a 24 hour theatre he knew of, well, it seemed safe enough, and he was good company. Then there was the gaming club. Not too many girls there, but Logan was known, and seemed to be proud to show off his companion. She’d had a good time, even if her playing was pretty low-level.

And now, here they were, parked at an overlook in the hills, looking down at the lights of L.A. Even at 5 a.m., it was a sight. Logan had admitted the Mercedes convertible he was driving wasn’t his usual ride, but borrowed from a friend.

“I told Mick, I needed a special car to impress a woman,” he’d said with a self-deprecating smile. “I nearly ended up with a silver Prius.”

Carly leaned back against the leather upholstery, working on a strawberry shake Logan had bought her. “I swear, I won’t spill a drop.” She paused, and offered him the cup. “Want some?”

He tilted his head, and gave her that cute little smile again. “Naw. Special diet.”

“Well, we could go back and get them to blend up a pizza for you.”

“Oh, nice one.”

“Must be a pretty good friend, to loan you a car like this.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I didn’t think he’d go for it, but Beth—his girlfriend, the one with the Prius—talked him into it. She’s all right.”

Carly considered. “Logan, you don’t have a lot of girlfriends, do you?”

He was startled for a moment. “Me? Sure I—oh, hell, what am I saying. No, not really. But I like you. Even if—I like you.”

Carly took a deep breath, and set her empty cup carefully on the floorboard. “I like you, too, Logan. And there’s something I ought to tell you.” She was dreading the moment. Early on, they’d exchanged basic information, and she’d told him she was a telemarketer—but only until she got through school, you know? Now, she felt like she owed him the full story, and somehow, she couldn’t think of a way to make it sound not…dirty. But now she’d opened the door, and he was waiting patiently for her to continue. “It’s my job. I’m not exactly what I said.”

“Oh?” Logan prompted, hoping she wouldn’t notice the lack of surprise on his part.

“I—I do phone sex for a living.”

He laughed. “Is that all?”

“No--it sounds really stupid, but the place where I work? We have to pretend to be vampires. And talk to guys about biting them on, well, on various places.” She looked away, embarrassed.

“Ah.” It was an understanding sort of noise, and that cheered her a little. Then he went on. “Carly, I sort of already knew that.” She felt him sliding closer on the seat. “See, I have a little confession to make, too.” He paused, and put his arm around her shoulders. “I called the vamp sex hotline a few times, myself. I was hoping you really were vampires there.”

“You were?” She looked around to see that his earnest eyes had flashed to silver, and my God, were those fangs?

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s really hard to find a nice vampire girl in this town.”

MLMLML

Two Weeks Later

“I’ve got to say, Carly, it’s an amazing turnaround. You’ve gone from loser to our most popular operator in nothing flat.” Jennifer was smiling, and she looked as though her face were about to crack.

Carly ran the tip of her tongue over her upper teeth to make sure her fangs were fully retracted. They still had a habit of popping out at the most inconvenient times. Besides, she needed to get out of the office as quickly as possible; she had a date with Logan. Fangs good, she smiled back at Jennifer. “Thanks!”

“I’ve got to know, how’d you do it?”

Carly shrugged. “I guess I just got more comfortable with the role, you know?” Her phone was ringing. She supposed she had time for one more call before she left for the night. Turning away from Jennifer, she hit the button to activate her headset. “Hello, darling, this is Carlotta, and I’m so hungry for you.”
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by tucutecats »

:hyper2: too funny, now shes a real vamp, you go Logan, a cute piece it;s always good to have a new story from you :hyper2:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by eris »

Okay, that's absolutely adorable. Logan's got a kindred spirit. :snicker:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by jen »

Fabulous!

This could have been an episode!

Logan has finally gotten a social life and found a nice vampire girl.

Thank you!

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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by Lilly »

I love this! :hearts: It's light and fun, but so well grounded that it's completely believable. I can absolutely see Logan looking for love this way :happysigh: ; and, as you have before, you've written him perfectly here.

I really like that you've used Carly's point of view to pull us into the story. Your OCs are always so vibrant, and she is no exception. In a few short paragraphs, you've made us care about her. And really dislike her boss. :madface:

Structurally, this piece is really crisp and clean. I love the gap in time where you've left certain details to the reader's imagination. It gives the ending a lot of punch and makes it work all the better. :twothumbs:

What a great summer read! :teeth:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by Penina Spinka »

That was great! I'm glad Logan finally got up the courage to find himself just the right kind of girl. If she wasn't to start with, she is now. I wish we had gotten a glimpse of Logan with fangs. He seems nearly sexy.
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by librarian_7 »

Tucute, glad to oblige!

Eris, jen, thanks! Logan just seems like a guy who could use a few dates.

"nearly sexy"? :rolling: I think that just about hits the nail on the head, Penina!

And thanks so much, Lilly! I know you've been waiting for me to finish this one.

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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by LadyAilith »

Oh what fun!! Logan couldn't find himself a vampire lady, so he made one for himself! :chortle:

You did a splendid job with this one, Lucky. Thanks so much for such an amusing tale!
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by MickLifeCrisis »

LadyAilith wrote:Oh what fun!! Logan couldn't find himself a vampire lady, so he made one for himself! :chortle:

You did a splendid job with this one, Lucky. Thanks so much for such an amusing tale!
What she said! :twothumbs:

It's a cute story, which fits, because Logan is heavy on the "cute" and rather light on the "perpetual coolness". :laugh:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by cassysj »

I love Logan!!! It's not easy finding the right vampire girlfriend (The world is full of Lola's) He made his own! It's just adorable
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by francis »

Awwww, this is so cute! I love that Mick gave him his car to impress, by heavy help of Beth.
And how much do I love the end, especially the pregnant pause of two weeks. I love that both have their problem taken care of, mutually. :winky:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by NightAir »

Cute, geeky Logan finds the solution to his problem (and Carly's too!). :snicker:

And I can see Mick loaning Logan his car - with some prodding from Beth - and a few death threats thrown in for good measure. :nonono:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by OnceBitTwiceShy »

This is hilarious! Logan wants to find a vamp girlfriend, but calls a human phone sex line. So he makes the best of it and dates her anyway. And turns her. This is great!!
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by allegrita »

Oh, Lucky, this is really sweet. I love Logan so much (and let's face it, David Blue has some nice, long canines, without benefit of orthodontic assistance!) :laugh: and Carly is a perfect foil for him. :batseyes: I can so see this happening, especially since they are both a little "iffy" on the personal-interaction level. :winky: And it makes perfect sense that he'd want to date her first, and... well... make her into the perfect vampire phone sex operator! :teeth: (It's a good thing Logan's not the jealous type, huh?) :rolling: :rolling:

(How cute and sweet is it that he borrows Mick's car?! I swear he and Mick have a backstory...) :hug:
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Re: 1-800-HOT-VAMP (PG-13)

Post by wpgrace »

Delightful. I laughed, I giggled, and I awwwwwwwwwed. :twothumbs:
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