No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

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darkstarrising
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No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by darkstarrising »

Hi all :wave:

This is my answer to the challenge to go down the Moonlight Road Not Taken. If I had my way, 'Fever' would have had an entirely different ending.

Please enjoy, and any quotations from the series are made with the utmost respect for the writer who authored them, in this case, Jill Blotevogel.

No Regrets

Alone.

That’s how he’d been for most of his life and would likely remain. Some of his isolation was self-imposed, hoping to distance himself from those he’d only end up hurting or who might hurt him. For all his charm and good looks, Mick St. John had been unlucky at love, more than an ordinary man could ever endure. Yet Mick was anything but an ordinary man and he had the scars to prove it.

Safe now within his sanctuary, the solitary man relived a lifetime of regrets; the choices he’d made, the women he’d loved, the friends and family he’d left behind. Today, he’d added to that growing list of regrets. Big time.

Go! Get out!

She hadn’t listened, she never did. Knowing Beth, she never would.

Kneeling before him, terror and determination warred within her, her doe eyes flicking to his golden ones then away again. Hands trembling, heart pounding, she’d plucked at her clothes to bare herself, offering her life’s blood to keep death at bay. He’d fought the urge to take her then, knowing the price of his salvation was eternal damnation, if in no one else’s eyes but his.

Not yours! Not like this!

In the end, need overcame all. The offering was taken, and none too gently. Another regret.

At some point, you’re going to have to stop me.


Eventually, she’d pushed him away, her stifled cry as fang tore flesh rending his heart. Her own instinct to survive had saved her, and in so doing, saved him. Her strength had become his, his weakness, hers. It was the pain, though, that shamed him most. In his desperation, he’d hurt the one he’d always protected, hungrily taking what he’d refused a lifetime ago and with it, her innocence.

While her pain would be fleeting, his would be eternal knowing it wasn’t just her blood he craved. Locked in his grip, her head on his shoulder, her softness and warmth, her caring, tortured him. While her blood would sustain his body, his soul would starve for what he could never have – the unconditional love of another.

A faint sound roused him from his reverie. A subtle scent, her scent, drew him to the door. A tentative knock, then another. Her heartbeat echoed within the stillness of his own, her shared blood drawing them ever closer. Her need mirrored his own, and he longed to ease it.

No! It’s too dangerous. For both our sakes, Beth, leave and never come back.

For a few moments, his savior waited. When only silence continued to greet her, she turned and walked away.

Once again, need prevailed; the door cracked opened.

“Beth.” He breathed her name. “You’re up late. You OK?”

She drew near, traces of their combined scent still present. “I..I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine. Really.”

The crooked half-smile disappeared at the sight of her bandaged wrist. Seeing this, Beth lowered her arm. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door closed behind them; the sanctuary had been breached.

She sat. He stood. Awkward silence hung between them, so much wanting to be said, with neither knowing how or where to begin.

His eyes strayed back to her wrist. “Does it hurt?”

A sad smile, then the truth. “A little. Josh wants me to see a doctor. He’s worried about tetanus.”

Pursed lips couldn’t hide Mick’s amusement. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t get tetanus from vampires. What exactly did you tell Josh?”

“I told him I stumbled in the dark and caught myself on a chain link fence. Hence, tetanus.”

Mick approached Beth. “That’s not what I meant. Didn’t he find it strange that you came looking for me on your own? That you didn’t call him first?”

Brilliant blue eyes searched his unreadable face; Beth was sure there was more to what Mick was asking. Yet she had a few questions of her own. “Not really. He knew how angry I was that you and Leni were nearly killed and that I can be just a little impetuous at times. He did seem a bit hurt, though.”

“I’m sorry.”

Beth waved dismissively. “Don’t be. Josh is far more upset that two detectives died and two civilians nearly died because someone he considered a friend betrayed him.”

“No. I mean I’m sorry about what I did to you.”

Beth reached up and taking Mick’s hand, gently pulled him down next to her. “You didn’t do anything to me. You’re my friend. You needed me, you needed what I could give. I have no regrets, Mick, and neither should you.”

He didn’t reply, he didn’t need to. His eyes gave him away.

Beth saw the opening and took it. “In the motel, what did you mean ‘not yours, not like this’?”

The question caught him off guard, something Beth was quite good at. He couldn’t tell her the entire truth; if Providence had seen fit to suppress her childhood memory of him, he wasn’t about to remind her.

“I was dying, Beth, and a dying vampire will do anything to survive, even hurt those they care about.”

“You care…. about me?” The words escaped before she could stop them.

More than I should.

The half-crooked smile emerged again. “Yeah, you can be a pest, but you’re growing on me.”

“Wait…you didn’t hurt Leni. Why do you think you’d hurt me? What aren’t you telling me?”

That I want you, I need you, and I can’t have you.


She was getting too close, both to him and to the truth. Her warmth was inviting, her blood enticing. He had to get away. Before he could move, Beth took his face in her hands, her eyes pleading. “Mick? I need to understand this feeling I have…about you. I feel…I don’t know, connected to you somehow.”

Mick drew her hands away, yet didn’t let go. Holding her arm, he gently ran his fingers along the sensitive area near the bandage.

“We are connected. Because of this.”

“Because I fed you?”

“Vampires don’t just bite to feed or kill. We also bite as ….” Words failed him.

“As what?”

“As an act of love.”

The words were barely audible, but he could feel her trembling.

“You gave yourself freely to save me. You’re a part of me now, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause any trouble between you and Josh. In time, when your blood is no longer in me, the connection you feel with me will fade.”

Ever so carefully, Mick removed the bandage, and raising her arm to his lips, gently kissed her wounds.

“Forgive me.”

“On one condition.” Beth kissed his cheek tenderly, then whispered. “That you never let the connection between us fade.”

Edited to complete a sentence in the first paragraph :slaphead:
Last edited by darkstarrising on Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by Moonlightsonata »

Really a sweet wonderful story. While I wish it had been like that and Mick had told Beth earlier that he loved her, part of the fascination of watching Moonlight was the love beyond reach theme, the unrequited love, the Romeo and Juliet. Why could CBS understand how much most women love a romance like that.
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by maggatha3 »

Yes, dsr, Yes, he opened the door...Yes... :hyper2:
And from that moment on, the road not taken...was so perfect..Mick and Beth interaction at its best. And he even called the bite...an act of love!! Yet, the ever so descent Mick apologises for any trouble between Beth and Josh!! As if it hadn't all started already at the fountain.. I wish I could hear Beth's thoughts after she left him... :winky:

Thank you , dsr!! :flowers:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by librarian_7 »

Nice.

I don't recall ever having seen someone opening that door before...definitely a road not taken. And I'll bet there'd be none of that him not picking up her calls after this happened.

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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by jen »

DSR

Fabulous.

Most of us have, I think, felt that Mick should have opened the door at the end of Fever.

Thank you for writing the ending scene we really wanted for that episode!

:flowers: :hearts: :flowers: :hearts:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by Lucy »

FADE? A connection like this will only GROW!!!

Great alternative!!!!!!
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by wpgrace »

Ahhhhhhhhh! :batseyes:

Sooooo satisfying. :happysigh: :happysigh: :happysigh:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by francis »

I love that you let him open the door, and let Beth in, and explain things to her. This was one of the missing scenes that sorely were missed by me. How could he do all this and then expect her to never talk to him again, never explain anything?
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by loveyoumick »

Oh, what a wonderful gem. You really get so well the "sad soul " that is Mick...Thank you for letting him open that door.
I so needed this... :flowers:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by allegrita »

Hmm... I composed a comment on my phone yesterday, but the phone seems to have eaten it. :eyeroll:

This story just made me hug myself with happiness. You've managed to capture so well the spirit of those early episodes, the push-pull, but you've given them a chance to acknowledge to each other that there is something big between them (and now it's become HUGE), even though the obstacles are just about as big as the burgeoning love.

Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am that you had Mick open that door. Much as I love Fever, there were so many loose ends that were simply never dealt with. Your story ties them up beautifully, tenderly, and yet still leaves them nearly as they were at the beginning of AD... the only difference being that Beth wouldn't have to leave all those messages on Mick's phone, 'cause he'd answered at least a few of her questions. Including the most important one, about what the bite meant to him beyond the simple act of helping him survive.

The best part, the part that totally made me tear up. was the very end... where he kissed the wounds and she kissed his cheek... and let him know she didn't want the connection to fade. :cloud9: It leads so perfectly to what happened in 12:04AM, and maybe if this conversation had taken place, that sunrise conversation would have had a less frustrating and painful outcome.

This story is so tender, sweet and filled with a wonderful combination of regret and yearning. It's perfectly Moonlight, and I love it. :hearts:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by fairytoes »

Oh, what a wonderful "what if" scene dsr. :hearts: Thank you sooo much. :flowers:

And I completely agree with Allegrita: :yes:
allegrita wrote: The best part, the part that totally made me tear up. was the very end... where he kissed the wounds and she kissed his cheek... and let him know she didn't want the connection to fade. :cloud9:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by darkstarrising »

Moonlightsonata wrote:Really a sweet wonderful story. While I wish it had been like that and Mick had told Beth earlier that he loved her, part of the fascination of watching Moonlight was the love beyond reach theme, the unrequited love, the Romeo and Juliet. Why could CBS understand how much most women love a romance like that.

Thanks, Moonlightsonata - I'm glad you enjoyed it. I actually thought they (the writers) moved a little too quickly at first....having Beth find out about what Mick was by the second episode was something I thought they'd drag out a bit more and the events in 'Fever' would have happened in the second half of the season. That said, I really wish Mick had opened the blasted door. If he had, things might have turned out a whole lot differently.
maggatha3 wrote:Yes, dsr, Yes, he opened the door...Yes... :hyper2:
And from that moment on, the road not taken...was so perfect..Mick and Beth interaction at its best. And he even called the bite...an act of love!! Yet, the ever so descent Mick apologises for any trouble between Beth and Josh!! As if it hadn't all started already at the fountain.. I wish I could hear Beth's thoughts after she left him... :winky:

Thank you , dsr!! :flowers:
Thanks, maggatha3 :hearts: Like yourself, I really do wish he had opened the door. I appreciate the comment about the Mick / Beth interaction coming across well....I had to keep reminding myself just how early in their relationship the events in 'Fever' occurred, so they really were a bit awkward, each trying to figure out what the other was thinking / wanting.

As for Beth's thoughts later, hmmmmm, maybe a short followup?
librarian_7 wrote:Nice.

I don't recall ever having seen someone opening that door before...definitely a road not taken. And I'll bet there'd be none of that him not picking up her calls after this happened.

Lucky
Thanks, Lucky :hug: I'm so glad you said no one opened the door before. I was really looking for something a little different. You're right though - he'd not only pick up the phone, he'd probably sleep with it (I wonder if I phones work in freezing temps :snicker: )
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by darkstarrising »

jen wrote:DSR

Fabulous.

Most of us have, I think, felt that Mick should have opened the door at the end of Fever.

Thank you for writing the ending scene we really wanted for that episode!

:flowers: :hearts: :flowers: :hearts:

Thanks, Jenna :hug: Glad you enjoyed it and I know I was one of them chanting 'open the door, open the door!!'....I'm just glad he didn't walk away at the end of 'Sonata'.
Lucy wrote:FADE? A connection like this will only GROW!!!

Great alternative!!!!!!
Thanks, Lucy :hearts: Yes, if he had opened the door and just a little bit of his heart, Beth would have likely have fallen even harder for him than she did in the series....She'd have likely walked away from Josh sooner, and while it might have wounded his pride, he might have lived longer.
wpgrace wrote:Ahhhhhhhhh! :batseyes:

Sooooo satisfying. :happysigh: :happysigh: :happysigh:
Thanks, sweetie :smooch: If it made you sigh happily, then it was a success :cloud9:
francis wrote:I love that you let him open the door, and let Beth in, and explain things to her. This was one of the missing scenes that sorely were missed by me. How could he do all this and then expect her to never talk to him again, never explain anything?
He has regrets, she hasn't. This is them in a nutshell. Thank you!
Thanks, francis :hug: Yes, Mick has a half-century of regrets and they're keeping him from ever being happy again. Beth, on the other hand, has had a comparatively short life and doesn't seem to be bogged down with guilt. And you're right....how could Mick expect Beth to walk away from the events in the motel as if nothing had happened? I think he really knew she couldn't, so that's why they had him avoiding her in 'Arrested Development'.
loveyoumick wrote:Oh, what a wonderful gem. You really get so well the "sad soul " that is Mick...Thank you for letting him open that door.
I so needed this... :flowers:
Thanks, loveyoumick and you're very welcome. :hug: If it brought a smile to your face, then I'm happy as well.
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by darkstarrising »

allegrita wrote:Hmm... I composed a comment on my phone yesterday, but the phone seems to have eaten it. :eyeroll:

This story just made me hug myself with happiness. You've managed to capture so well the spirit of those early episodes, the push-pull, but you've given them a chance to acknowledge to each other that there is something big between them (and now it's become HUGE), even though the obstacles are just about as big as the burgeoning love.

Oh, I can't tell you how happy I am that you had Mick open that door. Much as I love Fever, there were so many loose ends that were simply never dealt with. Your story ties them up beautifully, tenderly, and yet still leaves them nearly as they were at the beginning of AD... the only difference being that Beth wouldn't have to leave all those messages on Mick's phone, 'cause he'd answered at least a few of her questions. Including the most important one, about what the bite meant to him beyond the simple act of helping him survive.

The best part, the part that totally made me tear up. was the very end... where he kissed the wounds and she kissed his cheek... and let him know she didn't want the connection to fade. :cloud9: It leads so perfectly to what happened in 12:04AM, and maybe if this conversation had taken place, that sunrise conversation would have had a less frustrating and painful outcome.

This story is so tender, sweet and filled with a wonderful combination of regret and yearning. It's perfectly Moonlight, and I love it. :hearts:
Wow! and thanks, alle :smooch: I'm glad that the feel of the early episodes came through in this...after all the fanfiction, I had to keep telling myself that Mick and Beth were still trying to feel each other out - she was trying to figure out just who he was (those nagging dreams of him teasing her memory) and he's trying to figure out just how close he can let her get. He may be immortal, but he's also lonely and he's longing to love again. For whatever reason, Beth is the one he connects with, yet he's also afraid that if she does remember who he is, she'll never be able to love him.

Interesting point about the balcony conversation at the end of 12:04....it was painful. So, Beth did find out who he was and she tried to reach out to him, to let him know she didn't hate him, that she wasn't angry with him. She even took the first step toward getting closer, and he walked away. There wasn't a door there, but there may have well been one, 'cause he shut it when he walked away.

And thank you for the ultimate compliment that it was 'perfectly Moonlight'...that makes me :cloud9:

fairytoes wrote:Oh, what a wonderful "what if" scene dsr. :hearts: Thank you sooo much. :flowers:

And I completely agree with Allegrita: :yes:
allegrita wrote: The best part, the part that totally made me tear up. was the very end... where he kissed the wounds and she kissed his cheek... and let him know she didn't want the connection to fade. :cloud9:
:heart:
Thanks, fairytoes and you're very welcome :hearts: I think if they had shot the end of 'Fever' this way, we all would have been :hankie: while at the same time :cloud9:
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Re: No Regrets -(PG) Champ. Challenge 129 6/19/11

Post by PNWgal »

This is just all kinds of wonderful, Karen. :hug:
darkstarrising wrote:Alone.

That’s how he’d been for most of his life and would likely remain. Some of his isolation was self-imposed, hoping to distance himself from those he’d only end up hurting or who might hurt him. For all his charm and good looks, Mick St. John had been unlucky at love, more than an ordinary man could ever endure. Yet Mick was anything but an ordinary man and he had the scars to prove it.
:hankie:

That first word just hurts, because that's what Mick is. Alone.

But he doesn't have to be, and that's the beauty of this piece. Beth offered up her blood to save him, but he can't accept what he'd done to save himself. He can't entertain the possibility that she offers him more:
darkstarrising wrote:While her pain would be fleeting, his would be eternal knowing it wasn’t just her blood he craved. Locked in his grip, her head on his shoulder, her softness and warmth, her caring, tortured him. While her blood would sustain his body, his soul would starve for what he could never have – the unconditional love of another.


And then he opens the door (which made my romantic ML heart go :hyper2: ):
darkstarrising wrote:“No. I mean I’m sorry about what I did to you.”

Beth reached up and taking Mick’s hand, gently pulled him down next to her. “You didn’t do anything to me. You’re my friend. You needed me, you needed what I could give. I have no regrets, Mick, and neither should you.”

He didn’t reply, he didn’t need to. His eyes gave him away.
Poor Mick. :Mickangel:

I could quote that whole ending conversation because it's just so beautiful, but I'll just grab my absolute favorite part:
darkstarrising wrote:Ever so carefully, Mick removed the bandage, and raising her arm to his lips, gently kissed her wounds.

“Forgive me.”

“On one condition.” Beth kissed his cheek tenderly, then whispered. “That you never let the connection between us fade.”
:cloud9:

Can I see this? Absolutely. It's lovely and haunting and fits in perfectly with how I believe they both felt at the time.

Wonderful, WONDERFUL job!
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