Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

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Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby allegrita » Tue Sep 23, 2014 1:24 am

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: This voiceover was inspired by Champagne Challenge #159 and is rated PG. I decided to see if I could make a 7-sentence drabble, and this is the result.


Two in the Morning


Okay, I had NO idea this water was going to be so cold. Keep it together, Beth, you’re just going for a little stroll… geez, I can’t even feel my toes anymore.

Where’s Carl? Good, still yelling at that other crew, I should buy them a drink or something… well, maybe not.

That is weird, why’s she wrapped up like that — maybe a ritual killing… my god, those holes in her neck!

Never mind, Beth, just don’t drop the phone… okay, one more for good measure… uh-oh, busted.

Oh well, at least I got my money shot — hey, who’s he?
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby librarian_7 » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:01 am

Winner!

:clapping:
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby cassysj » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:19 am

Perfect Beth!
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby MickLifeCrisis » Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:50 am

Who is he indeed! :laugh:

This sounds just like Beth! :thumbs:
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby darkstarrising » Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:52 am

You've got Beth's thoughts down perfectly! Loved her reaction to the water!
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby francis » Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:36 am

She sounds almost ADD in this piece, but that's just Beth, taking in everything at once with great eye for detail, already starting to ask the right questions. The most important question is the last one though. I still wonder "Who is he?" after all those years. Well done! :hearts:
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby diane31 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:42 am

Funny how it didn't cross her mind then that He might be the killer hey?! :winky:
I love her reaction to the water too. I'm gonna go with that's how Mick knew it was freezing, that he must have sensed her reaction. I mean, that's not like he would think of that detail as a problem himself right... :chin:
That was fun! :flowers:
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby allegrita » Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:45 am

Thanks everyone, for your comments! I'm glad you could hear Beth's voice. :hearts:

Hmm, diane31, that's a good question! :chin: Maybe because she thought she recognized him, she figured he was one of the good guys? :shrug: And yeah, freezing cold water probably feels good to a vampire, huh?! :snicker: Maybe he smelled it... or heard her heartbeat. Or maybe that's just one of his "wanting to stay in touch with humanity" things... he remembered that humans might not like wading in cold water at 2 in the morning. :winky:
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby Shadow » Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:13 am

I love how ordinary this is .... all the little bits about the cold water, avoiding Carl, not dropping the phone :laugh: (that was great) and her money shot, all moving in to that last line of who's he . . . and the all-important moment when her life gets changed forever. What a wonderful transition!
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby nutmegger911 » Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:51 am

allegrita wrote:Author's note: This voiceover was inspired by Champagne Challenge #159 and is rated PG. I decided to see if I could make a 7-sentence drabble,


Well, clearly you can. And a good one, too. You definitely captured Beth. Well done.
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Re: Two in the Morning (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

Postby Lucy » Wed Oct 01, 2014 1:07 am

:clapping: Who's he? The guy who changed our lives forever..... (lovely words here....truly lovely) :highfive:
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